Going Gently

Clacker Problem

Hattie' s recent oil painting of the Church

It's the illustration which represents the village Warden Group

At the 8pm clap Hattie and I made a truly miserable social isolating attempt at pulling the Church Bell for the briefest of times .
We had left a donation for Church Funds and hope the vicar has enough to buy a new clacker as I am sure it was the clacker and not us to blame for the poor bell ringing.

Like naughty school girls we both emerged from the vestry , red faced from our poor attempt, and were greeted by the Randas who were less than impressed with the performance ! Affable Despot Jason later wrote on the village what's app forum thus....
" I went down to listen .....like most artists, I feel Johnstruggled to match his first album !"

At least old Trevor from Cwm Road was happy . He was born in the village 95 years ago and was holding his phone up to his equally aged sister in nearby Prestatyn so she could here the bell ring!!!

Village leader Ian texted " you'll have to do some practice on your rhythm John...."
Which was answered by The Velvet Voiced Linda who cuttingly said " Anyway what about the bell?

Everyone's a critic !!!!

Pride

Mrs Trellis and her famous bobble hat at the Christmas Fayre

There is something quite moving and incredibly charming about someone's unexpected pride in something they have achieved.
Tonight was a case in point.
The jungle telegraph from The Velvet Voiced Linda and her Trelawnyd Street Wardens was that Mrs Trellis had raised 500£ from her sponsored walk, money which would be earmarked for the staff of my own former Intensive Care Unit
I caught Mrs Trellis out near Byron Street and I told her just how proud we all were of her
Looking beyond the laughter, and the chatter and the matter-of-factness of our conversation
I suddenly recognised a slight waiver of the chin and a watery glint in her eyes and as I repeated the words " Well Done"
The old lady raised her head proudly and firmly nodded her acknowledgement to something rather special

And her sudden tearful pride made my heart soar like the swallows over Well Street

lonely

I couldn't sleep that well last night and was up around 5 am bathing before thinking about going to work.
A flapping at the window signalled the arrival of the now single bantam cockerel on his way to the gardens towards Trendy Carol's for the morning.
He sat on the window sill looking at me for a moment
Then sat some more
Quietly and without panic as I splashed quietly away
In the first time in his life that has spanned over two years now, he is alone
And I am sure he sat watching me , because he recognised me as someone who occasionally feeds him.
He's in his own lockdown now.
Alone and suddenly lonely
And sat a few feet away from someone he was familiar with
A moment that may have made him feel just a tiny bit better.

Double Entendre

Knock on the lane window around 1.30 pm
It was old "Mr Hughes" brandishing an Aldi Carrier bag

He's a brusque fellow, not really known for his warmth,
I came out to the kitchen wall and said hello

Apparantly his street Warden had given him a couple of ready meals that were not quite to his taste
" I thought your dogs may like them!" he said with uncharacteristic generosity
I looked at the container

" I hate offal" he said seriously and I laughed
" Oh I haven't had a nice faggot for an absolute age !" I replied ....giddy as a kipper!!!

Mr Hughes sort of half smiled and there was a faint twinkle in his eye

" Aye..... that's the lockdown for you we've all had to make sacrifices "

Some may a bit of help to get this joke
See

faggot

/ˈfaɡət/

See definitions in:

All

Sex

Savoury

Needlework

noun

1.

INFORMAL•OFFENSIVE

a male homosexual.
2.

a bundle of sticks bound together as fuel.

Nearly 58

My back garden

I've done practically nothing today

I was still so tired.

I've read more of the wonderful book " On The Red Hill " by Mike Parker surrounded by bulldogs and only moved to go to the loo where I continued to read, still surrounded by bulldogs before returning to my original resting place

The lane was busy with walkers, so when I eventually ventured outside to buy pet food conversations were had with German Bernard and Marjorie, Animal Helper Pat ( who was adding her garden waste to my field bonfire) and Meirion ( a meeting I cut short with the excuse of feeding the animals as he likes a rather long chat)

I returned to the sofa soon after and was interrupted by a neighbour who was worried about the disappearance of one bantam cockerels who live the gardens around here.

Mary, Dorothy and I went for a scout round and found lumps of sad feathers in a nearby field
I remember well, my livestock keeping days, they taught me well the ways and habits of the fox and badger

I will break the news to the locals later . They all have grown to love the bachelor cockerels.

The single surviving bantam quietly made his way across my garden to his roosting tree in the graveyard at dusk tonight.

It's sad to see him alone.

My sister has just asked what I want for my birthday and after long think I've asked her to upgrade by tiny front garden with her green fingers and some colourful planting.

We are 58 in a week's time

58! The last time I really noticed I was 40
My sisters are a constant in my life...I've known them both 58 years!

Where does the time go?

Flip Flop

Over two days of twelve hour shifts I have run the gauntlet of PPE
I'm not complaining , it's just a statement of fact
IMAGINE a large pink hairy pig being squeezed into a flaccid sky blue condom
Add to the mix a tight plastic mask , the size of a large breathless yogurt pot, clinging blue latex gloves and a steamed up visor which looked as though it may have been born in Chenobyl and you may get the gist of what I have looked like since early yesterday morning.
One of my colleagues , whilst finally helping to peel the sweaty plastic mess from my slug like body summed it up thus
" Jesus!!!!!You smell like fucking Gandi 's Flip Flop!"

I Say

This week I wanted to say this to someone I know

" You are a nice person

But you'll never be a kind one "

but of course I didn't

In the great scheme of things .....
It's not important

But Inso need to say it !
Hey ho

What We Shall Remember

Do you remember the covid lockdown daddy?
The nights we had Zoom night quizzes with the family?
Where The Mummy, A cowboy, Indiana Jones, Johnny Depp, Charlie Chaplin and Princess Leia amongst others battled for a single Cadbury's cream egg!
Do you remember those days daddy?
Do you remember?