Fucking Hell

I'll write about it later

Love the " Dead" suspended look at the end

The experience is a comprehensive terror fest

On the Tenko lorry

First you have to suffer the indignity of squeezing your fat arse into the sausage-skin red boiler suit, then you embark on a " baby" zip wire experience which is JUST a hundred feet up in the air before suffering the trauma of sitting in an open sided truck which looked as though it featured in Tenko as it crept up the side of a thousand foot mountain before looking over a shear drop over an azure blue lake .

My knuckles were still while when I gratefully exited the the lorry, and as Ann babbled away to the surfer dude safety teen to check her harness for the third time , we found ourselves lying face down on what suspiciously looked like alarge doctor's couch before being launched into the great blue yonder like 100 mile an hour podgy sausages wrapped in pastry.

The experience is totally unique, as you really do feel as though you are flying
As you can see, I looked quite dead with relief when I was finally hauled to the ground by a girl with brandishing what suspiciously looked like a shepherds crook.

I can die happy....today's total donations mostly from blog readers £ 5200.00 xxxxx

Without You....

Without you, I would have collected just a few hundred pounds for Samaritans
With you, the final total is just a hundred pounds short of five grand!
Five Thousand Pounds!
And that is down to you!
People from all over The world sending money, and cheques and best wishes and love to someone they have never met for a cause most have never used.
That is sweet
That is a pay it forward moment
That is kind.

So wish me luck today.
I'll post photographic proof and hopefully a video later
Don't look too hard at my fat arse in the boiler suit..will ya?

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/johngray1

" Shoals" Of Birds and more Thank Yous

Sometimes the planets align just so.....and you experience something rather special out of the mundane and the ordinary.
On sunny days the view over the village rooftops from the Gop (The hill behind Trelawnyd) can almost take your breath away.
It's not just the way the houses, cottages hall and church snuggle against the green fields to the West and South that please, it's the large flock of racing pigeons that always seem to circle and re circle the village at speed that brings a smile to your face.
For those that don't know racing pigeons can fly at best between 80 to 90 miles an hour, and so a flock flying in tight circles often resemble a glittering shoal of fish , especially then the sun catches their different facets as they swoop almost at ever changing right angles over the rooftops.
I watched them as I listened to this piece of random music chose by Spotify and got lost in the very beautiful drama of the moment....

Just a few thank yous to end with as now we have only 24 hours before the zip Wire Challenge ....
The approximate donation total for our Samaritans' Centre stands just shy of £ 4,650.00
So thank you to Colin & Jenny, heather, Ann, Elaine, Granny G, Michelle, Christina , anons x 4, Emma, Kate, Jenny Strawberry Mouse, Grace , Sandra , Sailor John and Mandy, Louenna and Ralph,

The donation page remains at ( click on)

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/johngray1#donationSummary

A Microwave Dinner

For some small part of each week we are still sharing the same small cottage.
Two men in five rooms.
It's driving me ever slowly........ nuts.
I'm finding it so hard that
I'm now living alongside a stranger who is not a stranger.
someone who has the starting's of a whole new life.
Someone who I want to shake until their teeth rattle.

I'm doing the busy thing.
Samaritans tonight, Choir tomorrow....a work shift ( my first) on Friday night......Zip wire on Wednesday
but I cant heal until I am  properly alone without the infrequent daily reminders of intimacy past and routines well trod.
I'm not bitter, its too early to be bitter......but I am still sensitive and angry, very angry and I hate being angry....hence me sitting here in an empty Samaritans office, an hour and a half early for shift......eating my microwaved tea at my telephone station.
I didn't want to be home as we manoeuvre around each other at supper time .
I don't want to be upset or angry or petulant, things that I invariably am when I am reminded I was only married three years ago
I want all that to be over........
..... and I want to start to heal.

Albert & Winnie

The relationship between Albert and Winnie is a simple one
Albert adores Winnie, but doesn't know when to rein in the lurve
Winnie benignly understands Albert
This video is the end of a " love in" between the two which lasted several minutes
One that ended with Albert getting too physical
And Winnie sighing heavily with the effort of it all.
This interaction happens at least once a day.
The relationship between species is always a complex one
But is something quite magical to watch

" Lightens the heart, Brightens the soul"

The Village War Memorial has had a facelift over recent months.
It has been a project led by farmer Alun Hughes.
Alun " Med" had noticed that the memorial had looked rather unloved of late and has made it his mission to do something about it.
Through some serious research he found out that through accident or design five local men names had been left off the War Memorial. He liaised with the powers that be and had the mens' names reinstated as well as organising for a general face lift of the area with members of Community council .
I found him reviewing his work this morning.
I've always thought of Alun as a gentle, thoughtful man and that assessment proved to be right after I congratulated him on his work.
" It lightens the heart and brightens the soul" he said quietly .

Big Hunk Of Spunk

I experienced my first man crush in the mid 1970s

I was watching an old western on tv and on the screen ambled the actor Clint Walker and from  that moment on I think I'd always had an eye for a set of broad shoulders and an easy smile.

Yesterday at the vets I found staring at a strapping farmer type who was collecting livestock medication and I was caught looking by one of the receptionist 

We both had the good grace to blush just a little

The Little Stranger

Post war austerity is the perfect backdrop to the " gothic" ghost story that is The Little Stranger.
In a large country house in decline, a disfigured RAF survivor, his sister and mother are trying to keep the wolves from the door. Their isolated existence is upset by the arrival of a local doctor whose mother was a maid at the house before the Great War and indeed his presence seems to be a catalyst for a whole series of supernatural events to unfold which ultimately lead to tragedy and madness.

The tight arsed Domhnall Gleeson

With lots to say about the class system of Britain between the wars The Little Stranger is a beautifully shot and atmospheric piece which utilises every dark ghostly house cliche  in the history of cinema. But it does so with the benefit of some interesting characterisation and performances .
The visiting doctor ( Domhnall Gleeson ) is a repressed , somewhat cold fish of a man with more class chips on his shoulder than soft Mick. He is attracted to the daughter of the house ( a magical turn by Ruth Wilson) who portrays one of those capable upper class women who is devoid of vanity bordering on eccentricity. She blossomed with the experiences of wartime service ( with one pivotal scene where an old WRAF friend turns up unexpectedly at a dance suggesting her true sexuality) but..now is drowning in the isolation of the decaying family house.

Their scenes together flit effortlessly between a rather sweet charm to an ultimately icy malevolence.  
I guessed the final twist in the tale a third of the way through the movie, which was a bit of a shame, but I enjoyed the bloody shocks when they arrived ( a scene where a visiting child gets mauled by the family dog behind a living room curtain is especially nerve wracking ) and the performance by Wilson is worth the price of a cinema ticket alone
7/10

Ruth Wilson