Mr Vasey

He was a horrible man, Mr Vasey
He occupied the corner bed in a bay of six, and polluted the air with his complaints.
" That man kept me awake all night with his moaning" he would spit out in public
"Nurse! NURSE!! He smells of shit, get him away from me!"
" Nurse where are my tablets.......NURSE.....NURSE,,,,!!" 
He was a railway man in his fifties with a wife and daughter.
The daughter never visited, the wife did dutifully.
Mr Vasey spoke to his wife as he did his nurses.
We disliked Mr Vasey.

His locker had to be organised just so, and nursing routines watched and commented upon especially when we were in anyway late or completed some task in a different way. He preferred nurses he knew to care for him but once at his bedside you ran the risk of a cruel personal comment being unleashed .
I remember a colleague from the station visiting with flowers who was told " why bring them in for me?" In such a curt way that she burst into tears.

Mr Vasey recieved adequate care.
But nothing more. The nurses grew tired of his temper tantrums and his brittle ways and sought out other things to do and other patients to linger over.
The ward was busy,and  it was easier to be busy elsewhere.

I remembered Mr Vasey yesterday.
Back then in 1989 we didn't understand autism
Today, I'd like to think that he would have recieved more understanding and slightly better care.

In 6 Hours

Today I didn't move 1000 yards from home
I met and laughed with Sailor John, Mandy, animal helper Pat, matriarch Irene, and Mo with her clip board. I chatted with Ian, Nick and Gwawr from the community Association , got cuddled by Rowenna " you are sweaty John!" And got told off by Christine.
I waved at Liv as she sang to us in the Hall  ( she's seven) and got hugged by Sandra Cameron as her tiny Yorkshire terrier got flattened by Mary as I handed over a flower Show cheque. Ann ( Rebecca of Sunnybrook farm ) apologised for not being around just after Trendy Carol, gave me her best sympathetic smile ( lovely blouse btw) and Bridget from Well street messaged me a virtual thank you
Oh, and farmer Basil stopped to say he didn't want me to leave the village.
We locked eyes before he drove away, and I knew he meant what he said

And all this before 3.30 pm


I've been feeling shit but today ( by the village) and yesterday ( by the net) I've felt supported

Change of subject tomorrow xxx I'm boring myself 

Welfare........Pay It Forward!

60 years ago, Trelawnyd had it's own Welfare Committee . 
It's remit was to champion village causes, and provide the upkeep and maintenance of the village Hall.
Four committee members are still going strong Mr Bryn Davis, Christine Davis and Islwyn Thomas remain in the village and Auntie Gladys ( bottom far left) now lives only 2 miles away.
They breed them tough in Trelawnyd.
In the early 1970s the welfare committee morphed into The Trelawnyd Flower Show Committee and for 44 years the Hall and village continued to be gifted monies from the proceeds of each and every show.
Today members of the Flower Show Committee hijacked the village Friendship group meeting in order to disperse our final donations
We have chosen four village initiatives and one local charity to support

Trelawnyd School £500
Trelawnyd Friendship Group £750
Trelawnyd's new Community Association £1000
The Memorial Hall Trelawnyd £ 223.40
Rhyl Samaritans £1000


It's lovely giving money to people who are not expecting it. The school  had no idea they were even getting a donation and the community Association were only expecting a hundred pounds or so it's a win/ win all round .
Everyone made a bit of a speech, cakes and tea were served and the junior classes of the school sang and shuffled their feet in front of the grey hairs

Speaking of wins
Thank you to the anonymous gift leaver
Who left these goodies in a bag on the garden gate
With the cryptic note " chicken man john "

Thank You

I'm there enough to really appreciate your best wishes
( and also the offer of money which made me smile)
It's like having several hundred people gently supporting your bra straps
You feel lifted!
I'm ok....and I will be ok
I am sure

Time To Move On

Today was the lowest point in my life ...ever....
...it's not an exaggeration when I say this....believe me...
and today I wrote a fucking funny frivolous post about an attractive vet rubbing Winnie's arse
Go figure.

Today,  I finally accepted that my marriage was over.
I'm not going into details.... suffice to say that I accept the decision but I certainly don't agree with it.
I haven't agreed with it for months
But today I sort of said my goodbyes to the Prof's family and friends who by nature of birth and history are now polarised away from the life I am about to lead.
I may be in contact with them in the future but I know I'll never see them again.

My nephew sent me his love by text and promised to send me his film reviews.....that made me cry.

Ann, my elder sister, with her fierce, loving... matriarch head on , kept my nerves together with a grim, natural strength....without my sisters, my family and a huge " hug " group of friends and neighbours  I could not have coped with the past few months....you know who you are and I thank you for what you have done.

So from now on it's me, a sex starved bulldog, A blind Welsh Terrier, a bad tempered Scottie , Mary the baby and a wide eyed cat called Albert...... against the world.

Let's hope we can now carve out a safe haven and get on with things.....
There....I've finally said it.......

Hey ho

You're Beautiful

I find it amusing that a pretty face often reduces one to the level of a gibbering arsehole!
It's a common  phenomenon amongst the middle aged and overlooked I guess
I took Winnie up to the vets today to collect William's prescription. Ever since her near death experience with pyrometra a year or so ago, Winnie has delighted the reception staff with the occasional royal visit and now will take herself off through the office door in order to have a mooch " below stairs"
Today as I was paying the bill, and as She was happily sharing a bag of cheese and onion Crisps with one of the nursing aides, a new young George Clooney vet strode in like Samson and boomed in a deep chocolate voice " Now where did this big beautiful girl come from!" 
Winnie smiled at him briefly between mouthfuls and offered her vulva up to be inspected
George Clooney rubbed her bottom with a manly hand
" She should be on a diet !" He purred
and I started to babble " Well she's lost nearly three kilos this year, which is good, given ....that ...she ..steals food from the other dogs .......it's very hard.....!" 
The George Clooney vet looked at me with baby blue eyes and smiled as Winnie crunched another crisp
" She has a beautiful face !" He said
" so do you !" I almost said , but thankfully didn't....I just giggled like a schoolgirl as he waved a hand and sauntered from the office
Hey ho

Gossip

Yesterday I walked into a situation where several acquaintances of mine were talking about me. I'm sure there was no malicious intent but it was clear that it was a gossip and it was clear that judgements were being made.
We all make judgements , and we all gossip and to we all understand the rules of such normality.
You just don't get caught by the  "gossipee"

Now as you know I am a pretty strong " you're wearing cheap shoes" kind of guy and confrontation is something I can generally deal with with some impunity but I was suddenly wrong footed by the whole situation, so put my head down and pretended to be busy.
Inside I felt nothing but embarrassment and shame .
You can rationalise that my feelings were in many ways ill founded  , after all I know most people just want to be kind, but I'm a great believer of the mantra " you feel what you feel!" 
And I felt shamed?

I'm pushing this out to the readers for discussion, deflecting the subject away from me and mine.
What's your gossip story?
I suspect there will be a few.....
Hey ho

The Last Flower Show Meeting

The photos were not up to much ( the man at the next table could quite work my phone camera)  but the company was good and the food surprisingly excellent! 

A few speeches were made and several bottles too many of the house wine were quaffed and I think it was a testament to the company and the event itself that every chair was still filled at the very end of the evening, with no one sloping off too early and with the thirteen of us tottering off to the four corners of Trelawnyd well after eleven.

We raised our glasses to the Flower Show achievements over the years and saluted Auntie Glad who could no be with us in person and the loud chatter around the room, which was almost deafening at times reminded us all of the times around Gladys' kitchen table when I or Sylvia lost control over the meeting and everyone when off on their own tangents.

I shall miss those meetings.

But they have taught me a valuable lesson...........they have taught me the power of a shared goal, the importance of fun when bringing together powerful personalities  and the sweetness of kind actions