Tuesday, 17 July 2018

Time To Move On

Today was the lowest point in my life ...ever....
...it's not an exaggeration when I say this....believe me...
and today I wrote a fucking funny frivolous post about an attractive vet rubbing Winnie's arse
Go figure.

Today,  I finally accepted that my marriage was over.
I'm not going into details.... suffice to say that I accept the decision but I certainly don't agree with it.
I haven't agreed with it for months
But today I sort of said my goodbyes to the Prof's family and friends who by nature of birth and history are now polarised away from the life I am about to lead.
I may be in contact with them in the future but I know I'll never see them again.

My nephew sent me his love by text and promised to send me his film reviews.....that made me cry.

Ann, my elder sister, with her fierce, loving... matriarch head on , kept my nerves together with a grim, natural strength....without my sisters, my family and a huge " hug " group of friends and neighbours  I could not have coped with the past few months....you know who you are and I thank you for what you have done.

So from now on it's me, a sex starved bulldog, A blind Welsh Terrier, a bad tempered Scottie , Mary the baby and a wide eyed cat called Albert...... against the world.

Let's hope we can now carve out a safe haven and get on with things.....
There....I've finally said it.......

Hey ho

398 comments:

  1. I'm not answering any comments on this post ok?

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  2. I'm so sorry to read this John. Sending love and big squishy hugs. X

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  3. As someone who has read your blog for years I'm just sending love and hugs.

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  4. Just love and hugs for you and the fur babies. Been there - understand.

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  5. I can’t find the right words to put down ,so sorry to hear this and sending much love xx

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  6. I wondered, and worried. I am so very sorry.

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  7. Thinking of you. So sorry

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  8. {{{{{hugs}}}}} I love you, john.

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  9. So sorry for you, I hope you find peace and happiness again.

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  10. MaggieB11:07 pm

    Aaahhh sweetie. Stay strong for your tribe. M. X

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  11. Sending best wishes from Lincolnshire.

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  12. Sorry to hear and I hope you'll be ok. I kind of guessed this was coming.

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  13. So sorry to hear this John. Sending lots of love and hugs. Xx

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  14. I am so sorry. Please let us know how you are in the days and weeks ahead.

    love

    lizzy

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  15. It must be awful. I've lived it. I am so sorry.

    XO
    WWW

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  16. I sensed that you have been leading up to this very difficult moment for quite awhile. But I also sense that you are a strong personality, and that your humour, your friendships, and your love of life will always be by your side. Take care.

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  17. Don't read the comments or you'll cry!!

    *big hugs*

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  18. Anonymous11:17 pm

    My heart is aching for you, please take care on this unfortunate journey. So many people and animals love you, take advantage of our support.

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  19. You don't need to say any more John, my very best wishes. x

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    1. PS. Fancy that pint we never had? I'm only two hours away.

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  20. This hurts my heart. Hugs (you can't have too many of those).

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  21. Those of us who 'know' you through this blog have sensed this coming for a while now, but it doesn't make this announcement any less of a shock. I feel such a lot of sympathy for you John and hope that a virtual hug helps you to know that you are being held in so many people's thoughts and prayers.
    Wishing you peace of mind, friendship and the opportunity of finding a place where you feel at ease and content. It will come, I promise. Keep your head up, rest in your friendships and family and come out the other end ready to face the world and revel in it. xx

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  22. My heart goes out to you John - such a great sadness for you and those who love and care about you which includes us here in blogland.. we really do care and are anxious for you. Distractions are what keeps each day moving forward and your wonderful furry family - their loyalty & love is never in question. ((:))Big bear hug - Elle xxxx

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  23. Yes, you have finally said it. I am very sorry John. Life obviously will go on - you have yet to visit Bath for a start!

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  24. I am so sorry John-I'm sending you a big cuddle you lovely man xx

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  25. well, shit! this is sad. i am so sorry. i hope (and know) you will find happiness. tough times for now though. hugs!!!

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  26. So sad to hear. Remember you are good, you are fun, you are strong, in time you will find strength. Take time to heal. Allow yourself to feel what ever you feel. Please know you are loved by many,

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  27. I'm so very sorry.Hugs.You are loved, and worthy of that love. It will be different, but things will be good again.

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  28. John, that hurts. I know you can move on with your life. It will take some doing but you can do this. Family, local friends and 'we' your imaginary but very real friends will help you get through this.

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  29. OM(F)G I'm in tears

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  30. So sorry to hear your news, John. Thinking of you.

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  31. So very brave of you to put it out here. You know where I am if you need to talk. In person or online.

    And remember you're stronger than you look, and braver than you know ... and you are a man worth loving as your canine and feline friends prove ♥️

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  32. You have a hug from me as well. I am so sorry as I know the pain. I hope you look back at this as the beginning of things improving.

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    Replies
    1. And also remember you also have your family, friends, and us to help against the world.

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  33. So sorry. Been there myself. It sucks. You'll make it through - we'll help. Lots of love and hugs.

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  34. I'm very sorry for your heartache, John. I hope all the furries give you some comfort. dammit dammit dammit, I hate that this has happened to you.xoxo

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  35. Oh John, you sweet man, I'm crying for you both ..

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  36. I'm so sorry to hear.

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  37. I am so sorry for you. We all do care and hope for better times for you,

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  38. That's a shame bud.

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  39. Fuck. And I don't swear easily or lightly or without good reason.

    Mega hug, John, as only bears can without crushing you,

    Ursula

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  40. Devastating. So very sorry John.
    You have brightened so many lives, I am sure we all wish we could say something to brighten yours.

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  41. Leaving the f word aside, John: It's early days, one piece of advice - good to remember in dark moments: Cherish what the two of you had. So many people, on parting, devalue not only the other person but the whole relationship. It's not like that. What you had was good as long as it lasted. Let the now not destroy happy memories.

    U

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    1. Very good advice Ursula! That is what my ex and I did, and we remain close friends.

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    2. Wise words Ursula.

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  42. All I can offer you dear is a big virtual hug to you, a smile, and any love you want to take. I too have been there. When I and my ex ended things after 13 years is was a hard decision....sucked. But there was no sense continuing when we were going different ways and not happy. We are still good friends though. These things happen for a reason John.

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  43. My daughter says I have more “imaginary friends” as bloggers. I rarely write, but you, John, have made such a difference in this world. The curb looks up right now, but know you have a community and animals who adore you. Rethink selling as you have a tribe to sustain you right now. Don’t make any big decisions.

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  44. I have nothing to say but, "Oh, fu*k."
    Speaking from experience, I know you will survive but man, it's hard as hell.
    Be well, John Gray.
    You are beloved and you are loved.

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  45. You will find this strange, but I sensed this was coming. Something about a deep sadness coming through occasionally on a post. Myself a divorcee, I can attest to the verse in Psalms that "weeping may stay for the night but joy comes in the morning".

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  46. Oh, John...my heart hurts for you. Hugs, hugs, hugs...

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  47. Oh, that's just awfully sad. Keep your good friends and loved ones close by for now, dear John. I wish you well. xx

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  48. John, I can't add much more to what others before me have already said. You are loved. More than you may even realize. Think about all the love and wishes you are getting from hundreds of people AROUND THE WORLD!? Not many people can say that happens.

    Hang in there sweet man, have faith that the Universe is unfolding as it should, even if you don't like it. You'll get through this, you'll be stronger in the end and we'll all still be here laughing while we share in your new adventures.

    Love ya my friend!

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  49. So so sorry. Sending all sorts of love and positive energy and good thoughts and well-wishes.

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  50. I’m so sorry John, you deserved better.

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  51. From my own life experience,, I know how you feel.

    You will survive and flourish.

    One day at a time, eventually it hurts less.

    Be Gentle with yourself, because you are a true gentleman.

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  52. Anonymous12:41 am

    John, I am adding my hugs and love to all of those offered. I have been there also. Some of the best advice I received..."keep moving as it is harder to hit a moving target"

    It is so hard but if you need me to move to England and help take care of you, I will
    XOXO
    Joyce In Indiana

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  53. Love and respect from across the pond.

    Roxanne

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  54. I kind of guessed this was what was going on, but still it is so sad to see it in words.

    You made a special place in the village, and invited the whole world in to enjoy it - such a shame for it to be disrupted.

    But if it is time to move on, remember this advice I was given by someone who was really kind to me when I was little more than a professional acquaintance (I was interviewing his band, and collapsed with suspected appendicitis just after) - When someone splits with you, they'll always give excuses & make you feel bad. In time, you'll find the real reason & feel better.

    Time to wallow in a Bette Davis marathon - Now, Voyager is one of hers, isn't it?

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  55. hugs, ALL THE HUGS!! to ((((you, John!)))

    If you need to hear it, let me say it - it WILL be okay, and you are not alone xoxo

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  56. So sorry to hear this x virtual hugs from the south coast xx

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  57. From now on, each step gets easier.
    Hugs x

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  58. You dear darling man, I ache for you. It's hard to choose the details for a safe haven when what you really want is no longer a choice. I am deeply impressed by how well you have carried on these last few months. The strength that has taken will help you begin again. Finally accepting it must be crushing. At least dealing with the fear that you would have to is over. Sending love and hope for better tomorrows, Mary

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  59. I am sorry to read this. I felt something was happening.
    Big hugs and I know (I have lived through this) that you will be fine. I screamed in the shower some day. Frustrated.

    gayle xoxo

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  60. So sorry, John. You don't see it now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise. Hugs.

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  61. oh no....have you ever thought about seeing the Grand Canyon? We are not far from there....

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  62. It will get better, you might not think so but it will. I know this from experience. In the meantime take one day at a time and try to find peace and joy where you can. Know that people in blogland care for you.

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  63. There are never good words to say at a time like this, so I will just send hugs to you and much love.

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  64. So very sorry for you, John. It's a dark tunnel but remember there is light on the other side. I'm not good with words, but let me tell you I am sending virtual hugs and love from Wisconsin. I know that you will be feeling all the hearts of your readers as we wish only the best for you, today and every day. Take care of yourself and your animals, and please let us know how you get on, dear now we are all worried for you and hoping there are brighter days ahead for all of you.

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  65. Kitty in the forest1:28 am

    Oh poor John. I was afraid something like this was coming, but so wanted it not to be.
    I too have been there, and it's hard - but we do come through.
    One day at a time, take love and support wherever you find it, and you'll get there.
    love and hugs, Kitty

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  66. So sorry to hear this. I had a sense this was what was coming. I am going through this at the moment myself, but after 25 years it is totally amicable and we will remain friends.
    Remember the good times and take one day at a time.
    Sending virtual hugs from across the world.

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  67. Love you John. Be well as you possibly can and know you have SO many friends in your corner. X

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  68. well, ain't that a bunch of shit. so sorry you are having to go through this. it's hard enough when both parties are on the same page. devastating when they are not.

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  69. Love you John. All the hugs. Be kind to yourself. You have friends all over the world, all in your corner, as Camille says.

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  70. I am adding my thoughts and hugs to everyone else's. Will be thinking of you.

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  71. Fuck! Why is it that so many relationships go on and on loving and having fun and then a marriage happens and things start going down the tubes. Fuck!

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  72. So much love pouring your way from friends around the world. I'm so very sorry this has happened to you.

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  73. Anonymous1:52 am

    I am so sorry. Many people care about you, and wish you well. Elaine

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  74. Sweetie!! Oh, my heart weeps for you! Sending good energies and virtual hugs. Nothing else I can say that hasn’t already been said. I will be keeping you in my thoughts. Much love from Oklahoma.

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  75. Jesus, John, so sorry to hear this. Wishing you the best.

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  76. Mega love from Toronto too. You have brightened many a day for me and I hope in a small way we can help ease your sorrow. You have people in your corner all across the world. All the best,John, each and every day. You are a treasure.

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  77. Anonymous1:57 am

    Unbeknown to you I have smiled, laughed and sighed with you through your life journey as a unknown follower. Now I stand with you in the dark times. Small steps Mr Grey it's the only way to the future. Well that and random internet purchases and food.xx Patricia.

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  78. I'm sorry, my friend. So sorry. Crap.

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  79. After scrolling through tons of comments, it's obvious you are well loved, and I am so sorry for your pain and loss. Hugs.....

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  80. I am so sorry to read this. Lots of love from Seattle, WA, and wishing you a stout heart.

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  81. Anonymous2:02 am

    I'm so sorry you're in a dark place right now. Remember you have plenty of friends whom you'll never meet, but who care about you nonetheless. A reader in Philadelphia.

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  82. I am so sorry for your loss! I have been there and it takes a while to heal. You will go through the "what ifs" for a while. Take care of yourself. I read your blog every day, but have only commented once.Be strong.
    Your blog has brought happiness into our lives. I hope our comments of support will help you.

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  83. Lorna2:07 am

    You may be oceans away from where I live, and our cultures are very different, but my heart goes out to you, and my hope is that day by day, things will get better for you.

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  84. John, I am so sorry to hear of this. I can empathize as my own world fell apart two years ago. It is hard, I know, but you will get through this. Allow yourself to heal and take comfort in your friends.

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  85. My heart cries for you John, surround yourself with friends and family and a big group hug from all your friends here you have bought joy and laughter to so many on a daily basis lots of love from Vancouver island.

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  86. One door closes, but more doors will open. Big hug from Downunder.

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  87. Much love from a long time reader in Minnesota

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  88. ALL my love and hugs to you. I'm so sorry, I know what it was like for me. Take care and keep everyone posted. Your fellow bloggers who care about you are all in your corner.

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  89. Take care of yourself. You are a wonderful person - so very sorry for your sadness. Hugs from Canada x

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  90. I am so sorry. I hope you will accept my hug. I have enjoyed your blog for quite a while and hope you will continue.

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  91. Anonymous2:47 am

    I hate that this is happening to you. You are a lovely man. I hope you stay in Trelawnyd. Be so very good to yourself John Gray.

    invisigal in Canada

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  92. Sending love and thinking of you, wishing you well.
    You are a good man and have cheered me many times.
    I am so sorry.
    Pam in Texas.xx

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  93. Hugs and love and more hugs.

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  94. so very sorry this happened, take care. Sending hugs your way, even though you have no idea who I am. I have read and enjoyed your blog for some time.

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  95. I hate that this is happening to you. Look for the helpers, John, they will want be there for you.

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  96. John huggs as a fellow nurse. I have a spare room if you fancy Edinburgh festival. Free of course . Lovely courtyard room. Jac xx

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  97. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  98. Each of us has our own walk and our own unique load to bare. I don’t for a minute think I know your heart because I’ve been through something similar. Just sending love and hugs and soft words of comfort in the dark of night when it often hurts the most.

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  99. I know all of this is none of our business but I am so very grateful that you told us the reason for your sorrow. Your heart is broken, and you don't deserve this.

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  100. Hey Ho John. One day at a time. I'm glad you are surrounded by critters who love you.

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  101. Oh John. I had a feeling this might be coming but I hoped I was wrong. I'm so sorry you're hurting and I wish I could help you some way. We all love you and will be here for you until you get through this. I'm certain that you will emerge from the other side, stronger and with brighter days ahead, and we'll all be here to cheer you on in your next adventure. ❤

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  102. Really sad . . .
    Wish I was near by . . ,
    There would be hugs, and “hold hugs” tooI
    Caring about you John . . .

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  103. Oh John! I am heartsick that you have to go through this. You are loved and appreciated by so many around the world. Maybe you could go on a round the world tour and visit us all. You are welcome here in central Michigan anytime, dogs and all!
    Hugs, Joan.

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  104. You've brightened so many of our days, you've made me laugh so many mornings... even though I don't really "know" you, I feel so very sorry. Hopefully these comments, when you are ready, will ease a tiny bit of your pain. You didn't owe any of us an explanation, but maybe typing it out has helped you to reach one of the stages, and I'm sure you know all the stages, even though when you go through them yourself, you don't really realize it sometimes. Be kind and patient with yourself. Take the time. Hugs and compassion from Ontario. -Jenn

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  105. Just sending you love and peace. So very sorry.

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  106. Just wanting to add my hugs to all the others. So many of us have been where you are so know how it feels. Take care John xxx

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  107. Dear John.

    I'm so very sorry to hear this. I suppose we've suspected that something was amiss, but to have it confirmed is very sad.

    Maybe you should see this as a new opportunity; to do all those things that you've put on hold. Not easy with all the animals, but you'll find a way. The world is now your oyster. Cro x

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  108. I don't know what to say! I'm so sorry. Thinking of you. X

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  109. I am so very sorry. I feel for you on many different levels and there are many levels to this. I have been there but with two young children. As shallow as it sounds I firmly believe when one door closes another one opens. So be extra kind to yourself, give yourself time and keep an eye out for that other door. It will open for you and it might be when you least expect it. I have confidence in you John. Love those four footed friends and love yourself. Sending love and hugs from this part of the world. xxx

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  110. Barbara Anne5:09 am

    May today also be the beginning of healing from this sorrow.

    Sending long distance hugs and best wishes from the other side of the pond.

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  111. Sending you much love and {{{{{hugs}}}}}, dear John.

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  112. So very sorry. Xxx

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  113. Hugs to you, John. I wish there were no heartbreak in the world.

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  114. I feared there was something sad brewing, now I know what it is, and I send you hugs from California.

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  115. Shady Pines above suggested you go on tour and come visit all of us - great idea (we have a spare bedroom and room for pets), but it would take you the rest of your life! You're such a lovely man, John, and I'm sad this is happening to you. Even with your nursing background and Samaritans skills, it must be terribly hard - how would you advise others to cope? And could you take your own advice? I hope the Prof is ok, whoever instigates a break up nobody gets away unscathed after so many years. Sending more hugs xx

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  116. As I have scrolled through the messages, one thing stands out you have so many blog friends that love you, that surely will sustain you through this miserable time and a 'herd' of animals to keep you occupied. xxx

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  117. Oh JayGee! Apart from my most profound regrets for you and the very best wishes I can send, all other words fall short. Stay strong my dear, dear pal - and take comfort from your extended 'family' there with you. I send you heartfelt cuddles of comfort.

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  118. Life certainly sucks sometimes. Stay strong and stand tall. And enjoy a good sob every now and then.

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  119. Oh John, this is so sad. Your writing has made such a difference to me and I wish I could do something to help you now. I can only send love. x

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  120. From a quiet follower, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I wish you well.
    Carolx

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  121. Anonymous6:53 am

    So sorry to hear this news. But new roads will show themselves. Reading all the comments shows how well loved you are by all of us who have followed you. Catherine

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  122. Sending you a lots of love, thinking of you.

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  123. Anonymous6:58 am

    (((((john)))))
    Elsewhere from amsterdam

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  124. So so sorry, John. You are loved.

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  125. I'm sorry to hear that news. I hope the friends who stick with you help through these tough times. There are a lot of people out here and there that care for you deeply.
    Love

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  126. Oh John, my heart aches for you. I am sending you a very gentle virtual hug.

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  127. Anonymous7:03 am

    Such sad news John. Take your time to process. Validate all those wonderful memories. Look after yourself because you cannot give from an empty cup. Accept all the help you need. Know you are loved. Emma x

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  128. Very sorry to hear this, John.

    Horrible as this period will be, take heart from the fact that you have made more friends on this blog who care about you than most people will ever have in 'real life'.

    Not much consolation while the pain is still sharp, but you will find ways to enjoy life, and eventually be happy again.

    (but however down you feel, don't turn to substances for help. Remember, life's solutions can't be found at the bottom of a scotch egg!)



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  129. I had such a horrible feeling that this was what was happening, I'm so, so sorry.

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  130. I am so sorry for your loss and pain. It's okay to grieve, because you are losing something important and special, a very significant part of your life is over. Mourn the loss. And cherish all the good times and memories.

    One chapter of your life is over. And a new one begins. Keep moving forward. It's the only way to get to somewhere better. You are much loved and treasured. Just as spring follows winter, you, too, will one day be able to smile, find happiness, and understand that life is what you make of it, and you are never alone in your journey. I wish you all the very best, and know that we care for you all.

    Hugs and Best wishes to you and yours.
    ...*.(@)*(@).*
    *.(@).(@).(@).*
    ...*.(@)*(@).*
    .........~|~
    .........\_/
    .........(_)
    .........(_)

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  131. So very sorry John. It is never good or easy, but as one who has been through it I can say that you will too come through and on to other things in life at some point in the future and the doggies and Albert will be there regardless, as will your blogging pals. Keep on keeping on and don't let the b*"&%")s get you down. I also felt the pain of losing the inlaws, it is an odd situation isn't it.

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  132. Oh John so very sorry

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  133. Anonymous7:44 am

    John I’m so fucking sorry, I’m crying now and your news has something to do with it but the new French bull dog George piddled on a sheet just off the line I was folding then pulled a pot plant apart that I’ve had forever, really though it’s your sadness xx

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  134. You have had a sad undertone on your posts for a while, now I understand. It's never easy having a new path to travel, and harder when you are sent on the path you do not want to tread. You are a strong man and from reading your posts, you have overcome hurdles before. I hope you stay blogging, you do bring a smile on my face most days. Good luck, see it as your new future, loads of different people to meet, lots of stories to tell us. xx

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  135. I love to read your blog and don't usually comment on posts, but wanted to say I'm very sorry to hear your news John and wish you well for the future. xx

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  136. Sending my love,long term relationships ending is like a death in the family.Take time to enjoy the small things like time amongst friends ,family and fur companions.

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  137. Echoing many of the comments above... keeping you in mind and so glad you have family , friends and the comfort of your animal family x

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  138. So sorry John. Bereavement without a funeral is just as hard.
    Crying for you.

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  139. I read your blog every day but I don't usually comment. I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear this news and am sending virtual hugs. I'm glad to hear that you have the support of your family and friends xx

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  140. I am so very sorry to read this news. Know that you are respected and loved. Virtual hugs from Italy. Ro xxx

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  141. I don't comment often, but I have been reading your blog for quite a while now. This post has me crying, and I don't even know you!
    I am so sorry. Be kind to yourself. Sisters are wonderful beings to have around at a time like this. Friends are there for you, and we blog followers are all sending you positive vibes at this time.

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  142. Anonymous8:13 am

    I suspected this was what was troubling you but was still shocked at your news. As a daily reader of your blog but not one that comments I feel today I must send my love to you. Sending big hugs.xx

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  143. Lots of love and hugs xxxxx

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  144. So sad to have this confirmed...crying here! Sending you lots of love. XX

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  145. Anonymous8:18 am

    Been there myself, sending you love and hugs. I so enjoy reading your blog that I feel like you're a friend. Take care, dear John xxx Margaret

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  146. Much love to you. xxx

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  147. Oh John, I was worried about this. Look at the amounts of comments and know how loved you are which I hope can be of some support over such a sad and difficult time. I wish I was there with you having a strong cup of tea but I am there if not in person xx

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  148. I'm sorry to hear this sad news. As said above, you will get through this, just take one day at a time. And be kind to yourself. Very kind, spoil yourself. Sending love and hugs. x

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  149. I am sorry John. Move on, cherish the good memories.
    love and hugs
    from Maria xxx

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  150. I don't do hugs but I'm sending them to you anyway. Stick with dogs (and cats if you must)xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  151. John, ........ he was not your soul partner even though you tried to make him so. Within a year to eighteen months you will look back on this time and be glad that it happened because it released you into a better time in your life. Go forward, take each day step by step, you need someone who is the other half of yourself, someone who accepts who you are, someone who makes you feel at peace..... this you have earned. In love and light, Vx

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  152. Like all your many other friends, I am sorry to hear this and wish you all the best luck and happiness and peace for the future. You deserve it.

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  153. Anonymous8:42 am

    I thought this might be why your posts seemed so sad. I am so sorry John, but as you can see so many of us care for you. Be kind to yourself, and take one day at a time.

    Marie x

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  154. Very sad for you John. Take it one day at a time and take strength from the sincere outpouring of your bloggy buddies.
    Hugs xx

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  155. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  156. So sorry John [major hugs]

    Tricia x

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  157. Anonymous8:50 am

    I have always enjoyed your blog, it kept me going through some bleak times so I hope you get over this although it must feel awful now. I agree with a lot of the people commenting here, we could feel this coming, but it’s still a sad shock. All the best

    Charles

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  158. Sad news John, love and hugs to a lovely guy, Jan Bxx

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  159. I am so sorry. I too have been there and it will get better with time. As everyone else has said we are thinking of you and sending a virtual hug. x

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  160. John, I hope that sharing your sad news and feelings of loss with us has helped to ease your heartache a bit today and in the days to come. As so many have already said, you are much loved and we are sorry that you are hurting. Some of us have been through the pain and sorrow of divorce (twice for me, so far) and have firsthand experience with being forced to adjust. I found that having responsibility for the care of others, such as children and/or pets, kept me going; may it be so for you. Sending you love and hugs from the east coast of Canada.

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  161. Anonymous9:05 am

    So sorry to hear that. Brave to blog on it and get it out into the open.

    If you need some distraction there are a lot of Trump interviews up on YouTube.

    Look after yourself

    traveller

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  162. Look after yourself. Thinking of you. XXXX

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  163. Lisa R9:11 am

    Like others, I've been worried about you and expecting this post. Something hasn't been right for a while and I hope at least you feel a bit of weight off your shoulders for letting us know. It's heart breaking to read. You are a great human and I'm so sorry you couldn't work things out. But from the lowest point the only way is up. Be kind to yourself, accept the love and support coming your way, ask for help when you need it. Brighter days will return. Sending love and hugs from Lyme Regis. Xx

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  164. So very sorry John. Love and hugs xx

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  165. What can we do, John, to help you get through this? All we can do is be here in blogland, and send you our love. I’m adding mine to all the love that has been written above and adding my hug to the huge pile of hugs. Take care; one day at a time; and the animals will keep you sane (and your lovely sisters!). Thinking of you xxx

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  166. So sorry for you.Sending love.

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  167. Anonymous9:21 am

    So sorry x

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  168. Anonymous9:22 am

    So so very sorry to hear this...
    Lian

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  169. Look at all the comments,John. I know we're not there to hold your hand but please know that every single person here sends support with our words and sentiments. My heart aches for you. I wish there was more we could do. xx

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  170. Joan (Devon)9:29 am

    Take care. Heal quickly. xxx

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  171. I feared that this was coming.... I am so very sorry. Like many here, I've also been there and it bloody hurts. Take time to grieve but please know that so many people around the world are holding you in their hearts right now.
    Sending you so much love......

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  172. After this lowest point I hope that your hopes and dreams soar higher than you could ever imagine and that you have the opportunity to meet someone who can nurture your needs. You have so much love to give and deserve a kind heart to take you under their wing as you do so for others. x

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  173. So very sorry. They say there is a book to write in each of us. You write so well, in such a way, it touches so many different people.

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  174. Anonymous9:48 am

    Lots of love and definitely understand the feelings, let me know if you fancy an adventure to the Wirral, alcohol, a friendly ear and hugs a plenty, love Lisa xx

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  175. Cannot add anything to it.
    Just take care!
    x

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  176. Sending very much love to you x

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  177. So sad to hear of your break up with the prof and although I have only been a follower for a couple of years your stories and photos have always made me smile and my thoughts and prayers are with you as you embark on a new chapter in your life and I do hope that you keep blogging for as long as you are able.Keep strong...Wendyx

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  178. Sorry to hear you news. Much love Heather

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  179. I am heartbroken for you John-x-

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  180. So sorry to hear this John. Sending you massive virtual hugs, you lovely man xxx

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  181. I echo everything that's already been said here. You will carve a life for yourself because you are resilient, resourceful and utterly lovely but I'm so very sad its not the life you invisiged, much love xx

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  182. I think we all had a feeling something like this was going on in your life. Brave of you to put your personal situation out here, because it is so personal. Hope you take some kind of comfort in all the lovely messages that I have read above. Take comfort in your wonderful animals and find that "safe haven", So sorry ,,,,,,

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  183. Sorry to read this....take care x

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  184. It took a lot of courage to share this on here John, so sorry this has happened. Sending you a virtual bunch of flowers for the cottage and a virtual M&S scotch egg xxx

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