Unprofessional Behaviour

As the echoes of the news of my retirement filter through the interweb, I have been in touch with several old workmates, a couple of which reminded me of certain situations where I wasn't the most professional of nurses!
Here are a few memories , many long forgotten ( by me)

• Before selfies were popular, I once took my own photo with the ward wound camera as I posed next to six sleeping patients in their beds!
• I once washed a patient while wearing an oxygen mask ( I was told piped oxygen was a cure for a hangover)
• Working with a rigid ward sister, I once removed her padlocked suggestions box from the wall and filled it with a snack plate of cheese and biscuits(?) before replacing it.
• I once gave a prank playing colleague a cup of tea with a patient's dentures placed in the bottom
• I once gave an hysterical patient a victory v sweet telling her it was a sleeping tablet
• A support worker I had was well know for sitting in a favourite easy chair on nights. One Christmas I arranged for her husband to collect it and he wrapped it in colourful Festive paper and a big bow and gave it to her for her main gift!
• Working on a mother &baby psychiatric unit, I was caught washing a baby's bum under a sink's mixer tap!
• I once set up a false urine bag on a patient's bed complete with a goldfish in it!
• I was once friendly with a paralysed patient who due to a pressure sore was only able to mobilise face down on an adapted hospital trolley. Without him knowing I drew a smiley face on his buttocks
• There are more stories regarding false turds made out of chocolate, sitting on a patient's dog on a home visit, a flying full urine bag bursting.....shoplifting psychiatric patients in Woolworths.... dropping a patient down a fire escape and getting a drunk colleague's arse stuck in a window of the ward's linen room,  that I wont go into detail about.............

Deadline

The deadline for the Novelty Veg/fruit photo competition is just a few days away, please can they be sent to me at jgsheffield@hotmail.com by Wednesday 26th

Summer Storms

Terrific thunderstorm this afternoon, with a few of the homes on the lower part of the village briefly getting flooded
We were ok,.........just!

Do Dogs Think?

Well obviously, in their own sweet, dim way, dogs do think but they do it in that hung ho, let's-run-our-faces - into-a-door kind of way which so often makes them so lovable and indeed dog-like. But yesterday I was fortunate to be able to watch Winnie process the information she was given by a complete stranger then act on that processing. You could see her thinking about it.
It was an interesting thing to watch.

We were out and about when two strangers came into view. Winnie was off the lead so stopped briefly to eye them both carefully. The strangers were a mother and her middle aged son. She was driving a mobility scooter. He was carrying the shopping and paused to pat Winnie on the head whilst chatting . His mother, who looked as though she had a CVA obviously wanted to stroke Winnie too but had pulled too far forward to be able to reach so without really thinking about it her so told Winnie to say hello to her. In actual fact he told Winnie twice and pointed at his mother as he did so, and quite clearly the bulldog understood what he wanted from her, for after a moment of contemplation she gave a snort like a bull and then ambled over to the woman and raised her head up in greeting.
She not only followed a simple instruction but she processed the request in order to follow that instruction.
This is a trait common in bulldogs I have found.

I Friggin Hate Selling Raffle Tickets!

Two hours and I only sold 20£ worth of raffle tickets....it was a case of too much chat not enough sales pitch

• Mrs Trellis had a rant about the proposed HS2 ( high speed train) line to Sheffield which will destroy a newly built housing estate and told me all about her kitchen cabinets which are just to be painted 
• Meirion Jones and his neighbour were somewhat surprised that I took an executive decision and entered his garden into the show without his permission! 
• Ceinwen was watching the end her favourite to show, as her hubby bought a tenner' worth off me  
• Jean was laying slate chippings  onto her newly designed front garden when I stopped she was showing a great deal of bust in the heat of the afternoon ! I pretended that I didn't notice
• A new woman in a rented bungalow near the affable despot told me she wasn't interested in buying a ticket. I told her to have a nice day and pulled the head off one of her roses when I walked down her drive
• Ian P bought a fivers worth....and I found myself promising to watch his bees when he is on holiday
• I've only got 200 tickets to go! Hey ho

Plas yn Dre

" Plas-yn-dre Isa" is up for sale.
In Welsh the name of this old grand house which is now one half of an old grammar school dating from the 1600s literally means lower mansion of the town. The house next door is called Plas-yn-dre Uchaf (The higher mansion of the town)
Are you still with me?
Plas-yn-dre still dominates the village. The upper house has almost been renovated in a Georgian Style and now looks mighty fine with it's new sash windows and grand front door, The lower house looks slightly less impressive in comparison, what with it's new pvc window surrounds and door, but this house is held in much affection by many of the older Trelawnyd-ites for it is the home of Auntie Glad.
Plas-yn-Dre, like I said is up for sale. It stands just how Gladys left it last year.....spotless and gleaming. I spoke to a Mr Roberts from Caerwys yesterday, who was collating information about the Flower Show for an article he was writing  for the Flintshire Chronicle. He knows Gladys from old " You could eat your dinner from off her floor"  he mused " she always kept a tidy home" 
I hope the new owners do the old house justice.

Plas yn dre isa

Onwards upwards

Is the next chapter...........

Nice People

 I worked with a doctor that I didn't know last night.
English wasn't their first language and my ever present irony was somewhat lost on them, which I found amusing.
Doctor " I hear that this weekend is your last here"
Me " " yes I finish my very last shift on Monday morning"
Doctor " why you are too young to be leaving work , what will you do with yourself?"
Me " I shall sit around the house eating crisps and drinking beer"
Doctor looking concerned " Do you think that is wise?"

I was rather touched by the succession of gifts and cards that found my way to my bedspace last night.
A gift from the Filipino nurses, a backbone group on itu made me smile, a series of fat club busting cakes were hidden behind the nursing station and a beautifully wrapped carrier bag of goodies which included new wellington boots, garden compost and dog treats were dropped off by another rather tearful colleague

my patient was critically ill....so I didn't have the time to get maudlin, I 've been very lucky to have worked with so many nice people.
.....and I have one more shift to go.....