Big Pants On The Line

There's a big funeral at the chapel next to the village hall today.
It's so big that there is a PA system set  up from the chapel  to the hall which will act as an overspill.
It's a farmer from the next village of Llanasa who has passed away.
Old farmers always seem to have big funerals!
Seeing that there was agood turn out, I placed a few extra Flower Show Schedules  in the hall's foyer,
and confessed my sins to Claire ( wife of the affable despot Jason) who lives next door.
" I better get my big pants off the washing line" she said, " we can't have them flapping in the wind when there's a big do on"

The " Feeders" & Jason Bourne

On the opposite part of the village, in a neat little house live Rosemary and her husband Bernard- the- German.
They are a sweet couple who spend a great deal of their time cooking, baking, preserving fruits, pickles and making jams.
I found myself at their door last night, selling my 356 th raffle ticket and within seconds of ringing the door bell Rosemary was spooning me dollops of mango curd , lemon curd followed by  fruity sharp lime marmalade in an impromptu taste test....all of it going on , on the doorstep in full view of the people living opposite. Who must of thought it slightly strange that husband and wife were soon feeding a rather robust looking middle aged man stood on their doorstep!

By the time the mango pickle came out, I was feeling just a little nauseous, so I said my goodbyes, weighed down with jars of jam in my raffle bag.

I'll leave you with a brief review of Jason Bourne. We went to see it this evening.

Ok if you like watching Matt Damon walking quickly down corridors

What Fresh Hell Is This?

The Prof is on holiday for one month

One month! 

So on, this, the fourth day of the break

he's just had breakfast in bed

Two pieces of toast with butter and marmite! 

Topped with two lightly posched eggs! 

Speech

This afternoon I wrote Gladys' Flower Show speech supervised by a very talkative and very on the ball Auntie Gladys. 

" I've had a woman from social services come around this afternoon " she told me " she came around to see if I was looking after myself...to see if I was eating" 

I pretended I didn't know of the visit and said " oh yes? ...what did she find Gladys?" 

" I 'll tell you what she found" Gladys said with a somewhat satisfying laugh " she found me eating a full chicken dinner in a gleaming kitchen that's what she found" 

Little Britain

Only fans of Little Britain will understand this one.
Winnie was beside herself last night. For by a quirk of fate she found herself in the arms of our friend Nigel, who let the old bulldog heave her multiple saggy titties onto his lap, where she slept as pleased and as contented as Scarlett did in Rhett's manly arms.
After an hour, however , the circulation was effectively cut off in his legs and he had to extricate himself as she waved her fat paws in some resigned and futile pleading.
" Fucking hell, it's like being sexually molested by Bubbles Devere" he observed

Happy Heart

Our Friend Nige is over 

This is his funeral music of choice

A cracking choice

On The Gate!

I worked on the gate of the Prestatyn Flower Show today.
I didn't have any sleep after work, but I think I was cheerful enough.
I worked alongside an elderly chap called Keith ( not his real name)
Who had to go home early after I'd given him my suger sweet cupcakes to eat , not  knowing he was a diabetic!
Hey ho.

I fell asleep in the car in the sun when I went to pick the Prof up and nearly fired myself to death ....
Not a pretty sight.
I hope our exhibits are as good as the aboveentries!
Hey ho

In Vino Veritas

An old friend left the cottage recently.
The old honeysuckle which covered the front door and most of the front of the cottage had become too overwhelming and too heavy to support itself so had to be cut down.
I miss it.
It was a haven for the scores of house sparrows who bicker and argue on the field
and William will miss the facr everything is quiet

At least the old victorian incription can be seen again

In vino veritas

In wine there's truth