48 Hours of Film

What Do you do when your husband is away?
Watch movies!
Loved my Lisbeth Salander trio.....8/10 ......the french "stranger"was  porn but wonderfully deep ( 9/10)  and so FRENCH but Eve won by 10 points! And then some xxx

Chris Pratt sigh

What I've watched....

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo ( 2009) Swedish version as the two sequels!

The Girl That Played With Fire (2009)

The Girl That Kicked The Hornet's Nest ( 2009)

Stranger By The Lake ( 2013) French title"L'Inconnu du lac" classy porn

Non Stop (2014) - shit but has Lady Mary in it!

All About Eve ( 1950)

21 Grams ( 2003)

Sideways (2004)
Les Choristes (2004) -I Cried
The Poseidon Adventure ( 1972)- fun
Dabba 2013 uk title " The Lunch Box" - a wonderful Indian movie !
Guardians Of the universe (2014)

I miss my husband x

Why Do They Do This?

It's always puzzles me that most animals nearing the end of their lives like to take themselves to a corner of this earth away from all others in order to die in darkness and peace.
Last night , during a rainstorm I shut all of the animals up in their houses as usual.
I hadn't checked if all were occupied...I presumed that they were.
Bingley never wandered more than ten feet away from his green painted home, he never needed to.
This morning, as usual, I opened them all up again only to find Bingley's house silent and empty.
Sometime yesterday, he had taken himself off to some bush or ditch somewhere in the field, even though his legs were shaky and his balance was off.
I searched for him , but I could find nothing . Not even a feather to signal that a fox or the nightly badger sows had found him . But the hawthorn hedges are now overgrown in their summer green and I would need a machete to search for him properly.

And so, I decided to leave well alone, it was his time to wander off to die.
That's the nature of things

" The Crab Stick Incident"

I had a bump in the Berlingo this morning.
Nothing major! there was no damage to either vehicle, but the whole accident did cost me my lunch.
I'd just had an exciting half hour in Tescos buying a new mop , followed by a twenty minute battle with the great unwashed in Poundland ( they do cheap bleach!) when I realised it was lunchtime.
Now last night , I had broken into my emergency scotch egg supply to cure a sudden rush of depression, so knowing that I had already gone over my scotch egg quota for the week, I decided to get myself something low fat from Marks & Spencer.
As usual I was spoilt for choice, but after a good ten minutes drooling, I chose a packet of cocktail sausages ( for the dogs) and a packet of crab sticks for me......
Okok I KNOW that any self respecting crab has never been near a crab stick in it's life, let alone make up a packet , but I DO like them in a low fat, synthetic kinda way even though they have been recently given the generic new title of " seafood sticks"
When I got back to the car, I fed the dogs their treats ( Winnie can get 8 cocktail sausages in her mouth at once ) then drove out of town with my crabsticks all lined up on the dashboard ready for me to dip into as we went!
Big mistake.
I had just stopped in the line of traffic at the top of Prestatyn High Street ( right outside the undertakers) when, reaching for my first crabstick, I misjudged the distance and knocked four of the little suckers onto the floor.
George, ever the opportunist , leapt onto the front seat and in the unsavoury scuffle that ensued, I let the berlingo creep forward and I nudged the car in front of me.
As it turned out it was another berlingo!
And the elderly driver was up and out of the driver's seat like a rat up a drainpipe
I got out to apologise, but he was already examining his bumper with forensic care
" Didn't you see me?" He snapped
I smiled and mouthed " SORRY" I couldn't tell him that I was trying to save a crabstick from the clutches of an elderly Scottish terrier with halitosis
The cars behind us were beeping, but the old fart couldn't be rushed . So it was a minute or so until he was satisfied that no damage had been done. A long..... long minute during which I could see Winnie hysterically bouncing around the back seat in an effort to squeeze herself into the front.
When I eventually got back into the car William had already joined George in the front seats,
And there wasn't a soddin' crab stick to be seen
Not fucking One!
Hey ho

Chin Up Dearheart

I've not long got home after a difficult and sad shift

My last blog depressed me,

The spats between the bloggers depressed me,

My slimming world fat club day depressed me, 

My husband is travelling thousands of miles away,

That's depressed me

And William has just opened his bowels up against the fridge for some bizarre reason
( I've left it there like a Banksy sculpture)

And So

I have been saved by two things

A scotch Egg bought from Marks

And a laughing bulldog having her arse whacked by a small black cat

What Do We Do?

The migrant crisis in the Mediterranean seems to be ever growing

Ever desperate and

I have no idea of a solution  

Non of us have. 

But to all of those that call these people scum

To all of those that scream " Keep out, Go Home"

Take a long look at this photo

And scream your hate and fear again eh?

Guilty TV Pleasures

It's pissing down. I got soaked at lunchtime and now I'm cold and shivery. It's the sort of day that you want to snuggle down with your favourite Tv programmes.
Now I don't have the tv on during the day. It's a throwback to my mother who said it was " dreadfully common "......
But if I could pick 10 tv programmes to watch back to back on a cold wet afternoon ....what would they be?
Here is my list

Number 1 ....what a surprise!

Now what does any self confessed gay man loves above all other things on tv?

Yes ......sassy women suffering hardship and winning through

In Tenko we had more gay icons crammed together than in any fancy dress birthday party thrown by 

Elton John

An elderly dutch nun, ( Sister Ulrica) Plucky Leader Marion Jefferson, bulldog faced Dr Mason

Tart with a heart Blanche and the snobby Mrs Van Mayer were just five of the  massive female cast of   

Japanese POWs interned in wartime Sumatra 

Wonderful 1980 tv viewing

My 3rd place winner is a precursor to the disaster movies of the 1970s

a science fiction tv series by Irwin Allen

When I was ten years old I was totally obsessed with " LAND OF THE GIANTS" 

I lived, breathed and loved it with a passion. 

And ( how gay is this) my favourite character was the stewardess Betty Hamilton 

" Betty? What a cracking name)

Now number 4 on my list is a sentimental choice

It's the dreadful " Dickenson's Real Deal" 

Now for those that have never seen this orange faced antique dealer programme - I shall try to 

explain ......members of the public drag in their old nic nacks and haggle their sale with a selection of 

Odd looking antique dealers

Its a pile of shit.....but shit that me and my brother used to watch and kind of enjoy every thursday when I used to go up and " babysit" him when he was dying.

Halfway through, and number five is the quiz show ONLY CONNECT fronted ( and what a massive front she has) by  Victoria Coren Mitchell 

I love it.

I love Coren's wit

I love the fact that most of the teams are painfully enept in social situations 

And I love that no one wins anything

Number 6 is what The Prof refers to as my " tv porn" 

I am a sucker for tv reality cop shows 

Road Wars, Chopper Coppers, 24 hours in Police Custody 

I watch them all! 

I love a man in uniform

Number 7 Has to be " Bake Off" but a very specific Bake off episode. My favourite was back in series four when the mousey Deborah accidently nicked Howard's custard before he could construct his trifle. 

Television has never been as cutting edge as this

In 1974 a well spoken and groomed to the hilt Faye Boswell ran a tight ship

The ship in question was a women's prison called Stone Park and Mrs Boswell 

Was played by the veteran film star Googie Withers 

My 8th choice was camp as christmas " Within These Walls"

My 9th choice is a blast from the 1970s and that is the international " It's a knock out" 

jeux Sans Frontières

It was ideal family entertainment made even better by the hysterical giggling of front man Stuart Hall

Pity where he ended up eh?

10. Thunderbirds must be my final choice and my very favourite episode was " Attack of the Alligators" where our heros had to save a group of scientists ( and their mysterious housekeeper Mrs Files) from mutent Alligators .....for a kids show it remains rather " dark" given the fact that certain characters are killed and eaten and the reptiles are machine gunned to death at the end! 

I was Out Last Night

I was on a  SAMS shift last night....when I was out my husband TWEETED this photo

Obviously he is packing for his OZ trip , he leaves on Thursday.....
I had to titter.....can you see the  bag of Tea Bags? ( right next to the diarrhea  pills )
My shit will be in a bin bag before I prepare to join him...
Don't you just love him 

A Post About Nothing

Forgive the second blog of the day....I've just stopped for coffee.....
It's a sunny day and I have one of my get-on-top of the shit heads on.
Windows cleaned, floors scrubbed..you know the drill
The front and back doors are opened and the breeze is airing the cottage like disinfectant.
I'm in the middle of making lentil dhal and the kitchen is devoid of animals.
It's afternoon and I know where they all are.
William is hiding away in his den under the bed in the spare room he has a passion for sleeping in the dark.
George is in his arm chair, waving his stubby legs in the air as he snores.
Albert, tired of killing things, is curled up on our eiderdown, dreaming his psychotic dreams
And Winnie, oh I know where Winnie is.....
The council workers are cutting the Churchyard grass
And she is standing at the front gate
Blowing kisses as them as they pass.
What a slag.