Smelling Of Old Lady's Knickers

I'm constipated.

I'm sure you all don't need to know that...but as I am holiday, I know that Going Gently is sadly lacking it's usual dose of poo stories.......I guess its  a product of the change of pace, routine and sitting in a car for so long yesterday such are the sensibilities of a half century colon.........I bought some senna tablets this morning from Boots then pulled the soddin box out onto the Marks and Spencer counter when I was paying for a pair of new beach shorts.

The woman assistant laughed when I did....... Which was a blessing........she was a sturdy girl and looked as though she was no stranger to the odd hard stool too! 

Anyhow we have had a nice relaxed day today......we went to Turner Centre in Margate to see the Grayson Perry exhibition.Margate is an odd mixture of dying seaside town which has obviously seen better days, and an up and coming bespoke retail centre. 

We walked around the new shops in the old part of town, and bought a new lead for William ( complete with it's own bandana- which will be custom  made for us AND SENT onto Wales ,! - how friggin GAY is THAT?) 

Had a bit of a pang in the shop though as the owner presented us with her elderly Fox Terrier to make a fuss of. Funny how these little " face slaps" arrive out of the blue.

This afternoon we have joined Chris' family on Broadstairs beach ( pic) and I am just about to dive into the latest David Sidaris ....here's hoping the senna doesn't kick in too soon.......the public toilets are a good jog away and I don't think I have a 20p for the turnstile!

Postscript.....Flower Show News...

Big thanks to June ( Consort to Richard ( Chris' Dad) who 

has hand sewn 86 lavender bags to sell at the show....it was 

very kind of you to make the effort.....our bedroom presently smells of old lady knickers!

And thanks to Hannah & Milo who have just emailed their entries for the show.....bring on the novelty veg challenge....

Blue Birds Over.....

To me , a holiday gives you the opportunity for a lie in.
Unfortunately The Prof and his mother are early risers, so no matter how quiet the house it at 7 am, you know that some surreptitious activity is afoot!
Hey ho.
Today, tis " Dover and Whistable " day ! Hurrah!
The Prof's father is taking us to the cliffs and to some interesting tunnels inside......which will be nice as long as I don't get car sick! ( an unfortunate affliction I seem to suffer from in other people's cars) and then it's a sea food lunch towards the famous oyster beds.......having said that, it would take God almighty himself to get me to down an oyster...I've always thought that they look like lumps of snot!

The prof eating a bowl of the slippery little suckers

Anyhow.....here are the latest on line International Novelty Veg Entries for the flower show.....a teddy and a shark!
Enjoy...........more exciting stories from the Thanet Coast will be posted later xxx

Do You Like Melons?

The Prof's family have a beach hut on Broadstairs beach. They have had one for a couple of generations. Apparently you " stake" your beach area with judicial usage of chairs, wind breaks and an assortment of plastic furniture so that no member of the general public ventures within a gnat's crotchet of your encampment.....Think the settlement of Alexandria in The Walking Dead and you will get my gist......
The Prof made himself comfortable as Sorrel and I had a chat about nothing....these "nothing"conversations drive him to distraction.......which makes them even more entertaining.
Sorrel " I love slices mango and melon"
John: " Do you?........I am a bit partial to pineapple chunks myself"
Sorrel: " Really?"
The Prof " harrumphs" at this point.
John " yes......especially tinned pineapples"
Sorrel" thats strange, I would have thought you'd go for fresh

Brief silence

Sorrel: " Do you like raspberries John?"
John " I've gone off them a bit "
Sorrel " hum"
John:" they are a bit bland, the ones from the supermarket"

Sorrel " What about strawberries?"
The Prof then sighs very loudly and shifts in his deck chair
John" Oh I love stawberries ! ........"
Sorrel " I love them too"
Prof ( under his breath ) " oh For fuck's sake"

Long silence

Sorrel " John......what Are your thoughts on passion fruit?"
The Prof screaming into the wind " OH MY GOD........I WAS ADOPTED!!!!!!"

Broadstairs!

The Roger Moore Eyebrow in full tilt 

Kent Bound

I swear organising the Olympics is easier

William has just been taken to the kennels grinning to himself like a loon and on the way back I picked up a cat loving but dog hating friend who is cottage sitting for us when we are away.

She will have Albert all to herself  for a few days

( I have not warned her about his regular bunny killing)

Cameron , the teenage boffin has been well versed in poultry care, the neighbours are all in back up mode 

And John the Flower Show Treasurer is on hand to answer any of your Flower Show queries

See

http://trelawnydflowershow.blogspot.co.uk

for contact numbers and info

Dog's Gone

Its 22.02 pm and I have just sat down . After a 13 hour shift, I have just taken Winnie and George down to their respective babysitters in town who will love em and pet em over the next week.
Winnie, hyperventilated and thundered around Norma's house in her usual stress head style..... Thankfully Norma is a bulldog fanatic and reassured me that they would sleep together if it is necessary to reduce any homesick nerves.......so Winnie's bloody well fallen on her feet!
George, I took to my sister's house and he somehow knew that I was going to leave him so became incredibly clingy when I tried to go.....he is still rather needy since Meg died........but he's in good hands.....it was sad to see him look so upset!
William goes to the kennels tomorrow..........
Hey ho xxx
Ps. The cottage is so quiet without them all..... No snoring from the kitchen 

People Watching

I am working all day tomorrow and as we are off to Kent on Sunday, after work , I will be taking Winnie and George to their babysitters in Prestatyn. Winnie is off to a friend who adores bulldogs ( I have told her to hide her own  slippers of sex) and George is off to my sister...hence my Saturday blog will be run tonight!

An award winning Novelty Veg( love the flat cap)

From the Prestatyn Flower Show

I did a stint of four hours on the gate of the Prestatyn Flower Show today... and the great British public didn't fail to make me smile somewhat wryly when they were asked for the £ 1.50 entry fee.

Crabby Old Lady : " HOW MUCH?"
Me : " Just £ 1.50"
She slammed 50p on the table " I only want to go in for 20 minutes"
Me: " It's still £1.50"

Another Crabby Old Lady " Do pensioners get in cheaper?"
Me :" No "
Crabby Old Lady " I've been coming for years, we have attended every show since 2000?"
Me: " So you've been entertained by us for 15 years then  !"
Crabby Old Lady " errr yes!"

Middle Aged Soak : " Do you have a beer tent?"
Me : " No but you could win a bottle of wine in the raffle"

Boy of seven " Have You a bouncy Castle?"
Me : " fraid not...but we do have a pirate party"
Boy " that's for babies"
Me: " Pirate babies!"

Woman: " where is the flower tent?"
Me: " It's the first tent to your left"
Woman : " do they sell cactus plants?"
Me : " no "

Man from Manchester " i've lost my wife"
Me " Where did you leave her?"
Man from Manchester " Poundland!"
Me :............speechless

Yes great fun! If you are local and want anice  day out tomorrow...go and have a look! And note
I got a first in the basket of vegetables and third place in the herbs !
Hey ho

A Physical Grief

I don't find physical contact with loved ones that easy. It is the product of growing up in a household that didn't hug or show affection unless several large gins were involved.
That may surprise some who imagine me to be a big huggy type of guy.
Now, strangely enough, I AM tactile at work and can give physical comfort without any difficulty, but it is a skill I have had to learn and become good at.
I guess we are all products of our childhoods.
For almost every night for the past ten years, a small Welsh terrier forced physical contact from me with all the tenacity of a limpet. While the other animals slept in their own corners of the cottage and as The Prof sat in his own arm chair with a book or with some work, with a need bordering on obsession Meg would have to lie in the crook of my arm, or on my legs or even on my head and only then, would she settle and sleep, with the peace of a baby in her mother's arms.
Like I said..this happened every day for a decade.
Without her my body's muscle memory feels bereft and strangely unsettled.....and last night I found myself holding a cushion under my arm, as if Meg was still around, still and asleep in her usual spot.
Grief is an odd experience.....and the physical grief for a needy little dog in a person who doesn't find touch that easy is odder still.....