What happened next was a rather unsavoury bulldog masturbation moment which was only stopped by a bit of old lady screaming....
Chris has created a monster
Oh the shame
Home Fires......Samantha Bond gives it large
The Pink Slippers Of Seduction
What happened next was a rather unsavoury bulldog masturbation moment which was only stopped by a bit of old lady screaming....
Chris has created a monster
Oh the shame
Prof's Birthday
It's the Prof's birthday today
So in way of celebration I have tried on his official Prof's cap which has been temptingly been left out for an " official do" next week
I've been dying to play with it for ages!
( I didn't have time to run around in his grey cape as he was coming up the stairs!)
Hey ho
Anyhow
We are off for lunch at Bodnant gardens with Sorrel then afternoon tea at Bodysgallen Hall. Mrs Trellis has invited us all for champagne and stawberries tomorrow
So in way of celebration I have tried on his official Prof's cap which has been temptingly been left out for an " official do" next week
( I didn't have time to run around in his grey cape as he was coming up the stairs!)
Hey ho
Anyhow
We are off for lunch at Bodnant gardens with Sorrel then afternoon tea at Bodysgallen Hall. Mrs Trellis has invited us all for champagne and stawberries tomorrow
Princess Betty
Mother in law is glued to the tv
Watching the door of St Mary's Hospital
Watching the door of St Mary's Hospital
She thinks the new baby is going to be called Alice
Chris has been harrumphing in his armchair and keeps swearing at the banal tv reporting
When asked what he would call the royal sprog
He pulled a face and shouted " Gertrude!" Rather unhelpfully
I'm plumping for Betty!
A Crap Behind The Goosehouse
Sorrel and The Prof are off to Manchester shopping today. They were up early getting ready, so I was left desperate for the bathroom for an absolute age.
Small cottages, I am afraid, only have one bathroom!
Finally I had to do something drastic and at 7am , after letting out the hens and the geese and Bingley,, with my legs crossed, I disappeared behind the goosehouse for a " quick squat"
Now.........
The goosehouse effectively screened me from the lane and from the neighbours' houses So I kind of relaxed into " the act" as I felt all " fresh" and warmed by the sun!
Suddenly there was a movement behind me and around a dozen hens appeared from nowhere all of them eager to see what was being left for them. One of them even pecked at the label on my underpants.....they could have drawn more attention to me if they had walked over carrying small placards with " JOHN'S TAKING A CRAFTY DUMP" written all over them.
By the time I was fishing around for some tissues, Bingley slowly steamed into view gobbling loudly to the world, his tail fanned out ready for a hopeful shag.
Sometimes I need to remind myself I am nearly 53 years old!
Small cottages, I am afraid, only have one bathroom!
Finally I had to do something drastic and at 7am , after letting out the hens and the geese and Bingley,, with my legs crossed, I disappeared behind the goosehouse for a " quick squat"
Now.........
The goosehouse effectively screened me from the lane and from the neighbours' houses So I kind of relaxed into " the act" as I felt all " fresh" and warmed by the sun!
Suddenly there was a movement behind me and around a dozen hens appeared from nowhere all of them eager to see what was being left for them. One of them even pecked at the label on my underpants.....they could have drawn more attention to me if they had walked over carrying small placards with " JOHN'S TAKING A CRAFTY DUMP" written all over them.
By the time I was fishing around for some tissues, Bingley slowly steamed into view gobbling loudly to the world, his tail fanned out ready for a hopeful shag.
Sometimes I need to remind myself I am nearly 53 years old!
I've Run Out Of Bleach
Just as I was building up for the final push of " Operation Dog Snot removal" , the plumbers arrived to play around with our ball cock. To cap it all Chris is working from home and it is pouring down, so muddy foot marks and a sink full of dishes have added to the workload
Not much to complain about in the great scheme of things, but the sons and daughter in law blog readers of a visiting mom in law will understand perfectly where I am coming from.
A clean and tidy home and guest room is respectful and underlines just a tiny bit that you are not a useless son in law!
The plumbers finished their job early. They enjoy coming because Winnie shadows their every movement and blows kisses at them when they lie on the floor to catch up with their plumbing
As she was busy, I got on with cutting the clingons from William's bum.
He hates this ritual , and looked suitably ashamed of himself as he stood on the kitchen table waiting for the scissors to start cutting! ( I have put in this little snippet of information just for Rachel)
Mother-in-law arrives in five hours..........I may just be finished
Not much to complain about in the great scheme of things, but the sons and daughter in law blog readers of a visiting mom in law will understand perfectly where I am coming from.
A clean and tidy home and guest room is respectful and underlines just a tiny bit that you are not a useless son in law!
The plumbers finished their job early. They enjoy coming because Winnie shadows their every movement and blows kisses at them when they lie on the floor to catch up with their plumbing
As she was busy, I got on with cutting the clingons from William's bum.
He hates this ritual , and looked suitably ashamed of himself as he stood on the kitchen table waiting for the scissors to start cutting! ( I have put in this little snippet of information just for Rachel)
Stuffing
Sometimes I can plan a really well crafted, entertaining, and well written blog entry
and only get a couple of comments
So today, I thought I'd post this snippet of village life
and wonder just how many reactions I receive!
So,
I think we have a new postman
and only get a couple of comments
So today, I thought I'd post this snippet of village life
and wonder just how many reactions I receive!
So,
I think we have a new postman
I've just heard him swearing by the front door after William snatched the post off him
as he pushed it through the letter box.
I didnt bother checking if any fingers have been nipped
I've been too busy stuffing cannelloni
William is now smiling to himself on the couch!
He loves the sport of frightening a new virgin postie
William is now smiling to himself on the couch!
He loves the sport of frightening a new virgin postie
As you can see
It's a no news day today"You..........you..........beast!"
Apologies to the neighbours
I have just completed a three hour study session at Sams
So have just got home, locked up the birds then taken out the dogs for a pee
The Prof is working away tonight
As usual Albert followed us down the lane.
Suddenly out of the dark an old ford fiesta ( I know who you are)
Screamed down Cwm Road
I pulled the dogs behind me out of the way and a wide eyed Albert legged it towards the safety of Carole's gateway, missing the car's tyres by just an inch or so
Like I said apologies again to the neighbours who may have wondered who exactly was shouting rather aggressively
" YOU TWATFACE FUCKER.....FUCKING ARSEHOLE!"
at exactly 9.05 pm
A pissed off Albert around 9.30 pm
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