Apologies to the neighbours
I have just completed a three hour study session at Sams
So have just got home, locked up the birds then taken out the dogs for a pee
The Prof is working away tonight
As usual Albert followed us down the lane.
Suddenly out of the dark an old ford fiesta ( I know who you are)
Screamed down Cwm Road
I pulled the dogs behind me out of the way and a wide eyed Albert legged it towards the safety of Carole's gateway, missing the car's tyres by just an inch or so
Like I said apologies again to the neighbours who may have wondered who exactly was shouting rather aggressively
" YOU TWATFACE FUCKER.....FUCKING ARSEHOLE!"
at exactly 9.05 pm
A pissed off Albert around 9.30 pm
Dog turds + paper bags + matches = nuff said
ReplyDeleteAnd a big shoe mark on the side door?
Deleteand tyres slashed, or salt in the petrol tank.
DeleteJohn never leave your shoe print ! wear gloves.
DeleteI small puncture in each tire will slowly deflate the tire so they never know.
That makes me feel very cross , poor Albert !
ReplyDeleteOh no. You could graffiti it if you know whose it is. There's no call for that in a small place, no call at all. *shakes head and tuts disapprovingly*
ReplyDeleteWrite an assortment of favourite insults on it. Using brake fluid.
ReplyDeleterevenge is a dish best served cold-just sayin.So glad YOU, the dogs and little Albert are okay.
ReplyDeleteI get so mad at stuff like that sometimes. I think the culprits are going to get the last laugh though, when they find me dead in the middle of the road after a heart attack.
ReplyDeleteWe have the same in our village. I do not know why they think it is a race track. So glad you and your dogs are o.k.
ReplyDeleteRosezeeta
I don't blame you a bit for getting angry with that lunatic, although I probably would have shouted "You Republican-faced fucker!" since (in my opinion) twats are rather nicer to have about than Republicans. Start carrying a water balloon with a bit of reallly bright paint on your walks, then you can 'tag' the Republican dipwad.
ReplyDeleteOr perhaps not, the Professor probably wouldn't enjoy bailing you out of gaol.
Oh Jacquelineand...
DeleteWere I live it is the Democrats......
We all have something or someone we like to laugh at... or with. ;-)
DeleteThe boy racer, that's who it was.
ReplyDeleteAlbert's got his tongue out.
He's got a wiff of bulldog fanny
Deletecan you turn the bastard in to the local police?
ReplyDeleteI will stalk him
DeleteVery very slowly
I'm glad every one is safe.
ReplyDeletePoor Albert ……. he actually does look pissed-off !!! XXXX
ReplyDeleteHe was....only because winnie wouldnt play
DeleteWhat a twat indeed. That sort of thing makes me so angry. I'm glad everyone is safe, and I love the photo of Albert.
ReplyDeleteWell, I know I'm not supposed to laugh here...so sorry. Glad everyone is safe tho.
ReplyDeleteWell said, and rather eloquently so.
ReplyDeleteOh John, I am so happy everyone is safe !
ReplyDeletecheers, parsnip
So... you know this arsehole? Use discretion with retaliation... make him wait for it, and wait for it, and then when his guard is down...
ReplyDeleteDoes he read your blog? Hahaha, even better!
How just one second could have changed things forever. Glad all is safe. Deb
ReplyDeleteMakes me want to get on a plane, rent a car, lie in wait on your road, stalk that driver and slap him hard. Of course, all of that would be rather costly, so I'll just sit over here on the other side of the ocean and think dark thoughts of the Ford fiesta driver. Crummy car...hope the wheels fall off. Glad you're all safe. X
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're all okay. I abhor speeders and tailgaters, and by far the worse are the speeders.
ReplyDeleteWow, I haven't seen a Ford Fiesta since Donna Summer was singing "Last Dance". I don't think they manufacture them in America any more (I could be wrong......)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I'm glad you know who the driver (bastard) is.
DeletePeople who think the earth revolves around them need to step off our planet! Poor dogs! Poor Albert! Poor John! I agree with the first suggestion from your comments...Nuff said....
ReplyDeleteYou need a fold-up, pocket, stinger!
ReplyDeleteNow got to coax my heart down from my mouth. If it had turned out as bad as it could have done I'd be in deep mourning.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you know who it is.....Karma will get them in time though.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could still swear unrestrainedly like that! (My husband doesn't like swearing around the children.) Glad you all survived.
ReplyDeleteI'm fed-up for your and Albert's sake! I suggest sugar in his petrol tank...
ReplyDeleteOne of our cats was run over a few years ago John. We loved him dearly and he suddenly went missing. Somebody found him in the hedge bottom a week later still alive and crying out with pain - we have no idea how long he had been there - we had searched everywhere. I have never forgiven whoever ran over him (we have never found out who it was - these mad drivers never slow down) but our Maxie was a very road-wise cat. Hope he rests in peace now, he didn't deserve a fate like that.
ReplyDeleteI'm reading this John with my heart in my mouth and I just want to cry...I am so very glad everyone is ok and darling Albert managed to get to safety. I hate arseholes who don't take animals into consideration when on the roads... I have witnessed a few things this week involving animals that has made me very sad so I am a bit weepy anyway.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland, NZ
I would have done the exact same thing and yelled my head off at whoever it was. Can't you put some sneaky speed bumps in the lane one night when no one is looking?? :-)
ReplyDeleteThank goodness Albert made it to safety. What an idiot to be driving like that in a populated area. You need one of those nail strips across the road.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the neighbours will forgive you. So glad everyone is alright.
ReplyDeleteSurely all locals know not to piss you off. I certainly wouldnt want my misdeeds plastered all over blogsville. Jeepers, im down here in Melbourne, Australia and even i know about it.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing your neighbours have a fair idea who was shouting those words at that time of night and hopefully, knowing the circumstances, would be right behind you.
ReplyDeleteSo relieved Albert made it.
a: Nothing they haven't thought
ReplyDeleteb: Nothing they haven't heard
c: Nicer then what I might have shouted
Poor Albert .... he has every right to be pissed off :-(
ReplyDeleteCwm Road is an odd name for a street. Are the origins of the name sexual? As for The Fiesta Driver - ram a potato up his exhaust pipe!
ReplyDeleteHhhmmm Do you speak any other languages besides, English, Welsh, & Slovakian? That is Slovakian, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteThank goodness he got out of the way. Unfortunately the type of people who drive like that rarely care whether they get yelled at or not.
ReplyDelete"Twatface fucker" will now be my new favourite epithet. Glad no one was hurt.
ReplyDeleteDid ya get 'em?
ReplyDeleteHmm, may the scourge of a thousand sand fleas prosper in his crotch.
ReplyDelete~Jo
So glad everyone is okay. I love Albert!
ReplyDelete