I've done some difficult and unpleasant jobs
and have been subjected to some rather unsavoury experiences in my time.
I've dealt with poo, and wee in bucket loads,
I have dressed pressure sores the size of a dinner plates,
Mopped up bin bag fulls of vomit
And performed minor surgery on the impacted and putrid crop of poorly Orpington.
I have assisted the the amputation of a human leg,
Once helped in the removal of a glove ( each finger filled with a severed digit)
and was hit by an exploding bag of stomach bile thrown by a confused patient .
Suffice to day nothing much fazes me when it comes to secretions and blood.
Today I have been retching like a pussy sailor on his first voyage
So much so, that I have been gasping for breath over the back garden wall with tears in my eyes
and what has been the subject of my sudden malaise I hear you ask?
I have been trying to brush the teeth of an aging Scottish terrier with halitosis
The toothpaste apparently is liver flavoured
To me it smells almost as bad as George's breath.
Another unsung hero job from your average house husband
This is all part of " Operation Dog Snot Removal"
My mother in law is due a visit on Thursday!