Always Take The Positives

I've just been watching Chris hanging our " unmentionables" on the clothes horse in front of the bedroom window

I couldn't imagine sharing a home with a woman

Women's habits are a complete mystery to me

I have just been mentally listing the positives of sharing your life with a man

So

Here goes

Sharing underwear : ( only applicable if you roughly the same size)

Not getting upset when the toilet seat is constantly " up"

Not having your best razor nicked for the occasional emergency leg shave

Not having to sit through Eastenders or Coronation Street twice weekly,

Not having Sandra from down the road sobbing at the kitchen table after her boyfriend dumped her for that cheap slag who works in Tesco's

Not getting too upset when farts are unleashed under the duvet

The slightly embarrassed look on someone's face when they automatically assume that " Chris" is a girl's name.

No hormonal incidents

Not having to buy embarrassing feminine articles during the weekly shop,

Having a perfect understanding that reading on the toilet is an acceptable practice

and not getting freaked out at the sight of the odd skid mark!

Hey ho

Lots to do

I've planned to cut the lawn in a while.

There are dumplings to make to add to a beef casserole 

And I've promised Chris that I will follow Mary Berry's chocolate eclair recipe and knock

Up some choux pastry 

But even domestic goddesses like me need some downtime

and so with an aged Welsh Terrier in need of some TLC 

Meg and I watched a crappy John Wayne warfilm from the over stuffed  armchair in the living room

Shady Pines

Today I drove to the little cottage hospital in Holywell.
I wanted to say goodbye to a neighbour. After a fall at home and a period of time in rehabilitation, she is about to leave the village to live in Harrogate.
It's not as warm a story as it sounds. Our neighbour ( Mrs B) unfortunately has significant memory problems and in her mind she is off to live with her son in the picturesque Yorkshire town.
The reality of the situation is quite different . On Sunday she is indeed off to Harrogate but she is in fact earmarked to live in an upmarket nursing home a few miles from her son's home.
Insight is not a virtue at times like these

Mrs B was having a good afternoon when I arrived on her beautifully run, neat little ward. Looking immaculate and every piece the hostess, she greeted me warmly, when I arrived  and although a little shaky with her recall she remembered that I had entered her hydrangeas into the flower Show back in August.

 I reminded her that Chris and I are getting married in March ( the woman in the next bed tutted loudly during this story) But I could tell her concentration was wavering somewhat.
Early Alzheimer's is a cruel illness.
Before I said my goodbyes I gave Mrs B a set of greetings cards, bought from a table at the back of the church . Each card had a different view of the interior of the church, a church she had been a loyal supporter of for many years.
I wrote our address on one of the card envelopes and asked her to drop us a line when she got settled.
She said she'd try as we said our goodbyes
" I'm never going to see my little bungalow again" she said a little tearfully when I kissed her on the cheek .
I could say nothing to help
I just squeezed her hand gently before I left for home.

The Russell Crowe Lasagne part II

I was buggered this morning when I got home from work......truly buggered.
The last thing I remember was sitting down in the living room, still with my coat on with the large blue casarole dish on my knee.
Cold lasagne is a wonderful breakfast when you've had a busy shift.
I woke up around eleven thirty, with a stiff neck.
The lasagne dish was empty on the floor
I'll give you three guesses what happened?

The Russell Crowe Lasagne

I make a mean Turkey lasagne
The secret is to sneak in two layers of sage and onion stuffing between the tomato layers and the pasta.
It tastes bloody lovely too....even Albert loves the eclectic layers already,, for he has stuck his face into the sauspan of cooling cheese sauce at least three times this morning
The bloody thing generally ends up the size of a small suitcase.
My lasagne could feed a family of 8
It's a man's lasagne!
One that the likes of Russell Crowe would be proud of

I walked up to the garage shop around 8 .30 am to buy packet stuffing.
And four people stopped me to ask where the dogs were......seeing me alone is a bit like seeing Laurel   without Hardy.........you know something is not quite right but can't immediately put your finger on.

Anyhow today's blog is not really about a monster lasagne. It's not about Laurel & Hardy either or about how I feel somewhat jet lagged because Ive worked two nights out of the last three and am due to work this evening.too
Today's blog is about very little at all
As  I said ....my body clock has gone all arse over tit.
I've not caught up with jobs, my blog and blog reading have all gone to shit and I've yet to catch Alfie Boe to prevent the little bastard keeping the neighbours up all night
I think the cheerful father , I generally wave to when he is collecting his kids from school summed up just how I feel this morning when he saw me marching back from the shop with stuffing under my arm
" you look lopsided without the dogs!" He  called
Yes.....I feel somewhat lopsided today.....

Winnie Weightwatchers

The dogs, comatose when I was enjoying The Walking Dead  this morning

Message to self

When you own a bulldog who is on a strict diet

Always make sure that the dog feed cupboard has been secured when you go out

I got home this morning 

Only to find that she had broken into Albert's dry "kitty scoffs" quaffing half the box, most of the cardboard packaging as well as wet mouthing a nearby packet of paper doilies

The Walking Dead Season Five Premier ( Beware Spoiler)

I know I am working tonight, so I shall miss the premier and will have to watch it all tomorrow morning
But I couldn't resist just watching this brief clip before I went
For those that don't know ( and don't care) the scruffy guy with the crossbow is a redneck, asperger character called Daryl Dixon who has become a sort of anti hero during the five seasons of The Walking Dead. The woman he is reunited with is a friend, an abused wife and mother called Carol, a character he bonded with throughout the series.
Their scenes have always been underplayed in favour of the action pieces, and brief as it was, I thought it was one of the best scenes in the whole five series...
Hey ho

Lessons learned

Well the comments from Val in yesterday's post made my day when I read them at 2 am this morning
I had just got home after a stint at SAMS.......and had checked Going Gently before going to bed......
It's nice to bookend a blog entry is it not ?
Anyhow
Does anyone remember the movie Airport?
It was the precursor of the 1970's disaster movie and was basically a cinematic " Grand Hotel" with 707s  and George Kennedy chewing on an unlit cigar.
Well the heroine of Aiport was Helen Hayes who played the 70 year old stowaway Ada Quonsett.... And tonight I worked until the wee small hours at Sams with an Ada Quonsett lookalike.
I've not worked with this lady before, so I sat back and listened to some of her interactions over the phone.
It was a revelation
Insightful, challenging, objective , caring and oh so appropriate I listened to a real master of the craft deal with several acutely distressed and potentially suicidal callers.
She looked like a dotty older lady
But what I listened to was pure class.....class that would put the best psychoanalyst to shame

I learnt a great deal tonight