When we, the nurses arrive at work, we line up at the nurses' station waiting to be allocated to a patient for the shift by the nurse in charge. The whole routine smacks of those long distant school days when we lined up waiting to be picked for the games teams, and last night, after handover I sort of just knew which patient I was going to be working with.
I was paired with a very poorly patient who was dying. Unconscious and sedated, the man was fading fast and I had to take a deep breath when I saw him with his wife and his son at his bedside as he could have been my brother albeit a slightly older version of him.
It had to come, I suppose, and it had to be coped with.
Luckily there was a lot to do, a lot to get busy with, and as I "got on with things" a warm natured Irish nurse who was going off duty stopped briefly and reached over and squeezed my arm as I was introducing myself to the family..
She didn't say anything, she didn't have to.
Her touch was enough.
With it, she said clearly and with feeling " it's tough for you and I recognise that it is"
and do you know..... it helped.
The patient died not long into the shift.
... I think I looked after him and his family ok
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btw
Weight watchers weigh in this morning weight 15 stone 2 lbs
weight loss this week 2lbs
Total weight loss since 2nd Jan 12 lbs