Going Gently

Nightmare Alley

Bradley Cooper

Guillermo del Toro’s 2006 movie Pan’s Labyrinth is one of my all time favourite movies to date and since then he has only made six films, with only one The Shape Of Water being anything of note for me.

I was therefore very interested in seeing his latest movie, the neo-noir psychological, remake Nightmare Alley.

Set initially in a depressed and seedy Midwest freak show, we meet psychologically damaged Stan ( Bradley Cooper) a natural grifter with a knack of reading people. He is taken in by the unscrupulous show owner Clem ( a wonderfully seedy Willem Defoe) and teams up with the moral but alcoholic Pete ( David Strathairn ) his wife Madam Zeema ( Toni Collette) and showgirl Molly (Rooney Mara)

Learning the ways of duping the public, Stan and Molly start a successful clairvoyant show in the city, here Stan meets the mysterious Dr Ritter ( Cate Blanchet) a psychologist with whom he teams up with in order to con a famous businessman but their relationship is complex with both playing psychological games with each other and things eventually dissolve into tragedy.

Rooney Mara

Del Toro grabs the new-noir mantle very early on in this movie and produces a nightmarish, slightly unreal world of a run down carnival heavy with poverty, ruthlessness and regret from the get go.

It’s a wonderfully shot and cleverly observed piece cinema.

Cooper is charismatic and incredibly believable as the damaged Stan who through childhood abuse had learned to manipulate and film flam people, Colette and Defoe are standouts from the carnival scenes with Blanchet matching Cooper quite nicely as the the two circle each other psychologically , like two predators looking forward a weakness.

It’s a tense, bleak, violent and beautiful looking film

Which leaves the audience unsettled and on edge by the time the last reel rolls.

Toni Colette

Raft

Is it me but does my cruet birds atop my sushi plate resemble a Polynesian kontiki-esque raft?

Coffee and after

It’s almost midday and I’ve just eaten Brunch

It’s cold today.

The dogs are knackered after their walk and have curled themselves into the kitchen reading chair to sleep

I’m thinking of what I’d like to do today.

There’s not much on in the cinema I fancy, perhaps with the exception of Guillermo del Toro’s Nightmare Alley.

Ive not arranged with any friends to meet.

I don’t feel that social today….

Time for another strong coffee bag coffee, with a splash of algave nectar

And more time at the kitchen table with my hands warmed by the coffee cup

Ps…I couldn’t be arsed going to the cinema.

So I went to Sainsbury’s instead and bought a chicken, two reduced priced candlesticks a load of healthy food and some fleece jogging pants and sweat shirt that would double up as Pjs.

I had a mini row with a modern parent who let her children climb over the supermarket trolleys and did my best Edith Evan’s impersonation, by enunciating loudly “ Is THIS a supermarket or a child’s playing area ? “

The mother wanted to take me on but thought better of it seeing I had my devil-may- care gravy stains on my t shirt.

Bring it on sister, I thought .

I’m tidying the house, doing some washing and am going to hoover and clean up before walking the girls again. Only then will I don my new joggers

Select shit on the iPlayer

And enjoy what’s left of my sunday

Sister

Yesterday was a mad shift….a real busy one

In this time of covid it’s proved difficult to get a priest into the hospice at short notice in order to give solice to a new patient .

I was incredibly busy and asked a junior support worker to see if she could sort out the request.

She did wonders and a very elderly and gentle faced nun arrived breatessly within minutes, just when she was needed

And I was humbled beyond words , helping this dear old lady into PPE gloves and apron before she went to work, her bible and holy water in hand

Meat Loaf - You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night) ...

1982

An Austin 1300

GDM744k

Me, Roly Roberts, Ian Parry, Nia Roberts, Irene Barret, Ruth Parry and others

Driving back from Ice Skating Tuesday nights

Singing this at the top of our young lungs

Happy Days

RIP Meat Loaf

And Just Like That

Carrie has turned into a hip 50 something baglady who wears rubber gloves to smoke her cigarettes outside her old apartment .Miranda ended her relationship with Steve in 2 minutes …2 minutes longer than my husband ever gave me the courtesy of doing with me.!

(A scene that broke my heart) btw

And the whole series has matured quite nicely in episode 8 …only 2 visits before the whole series finishes ..I do hope it returns as it has a lot more to say about women’s relationships in their 50s

The lunch meeting between the gals , is always a highlight

Curry & Bluebell

I often show my affection through food

I’ve told you this before

I know I’m a “ feeder” although I don’t like that epithet per se

It always sounds a bit seedy to me.

I’m off today , back on Friday/Sat so I got up early and made a lamb curry and saag aloo from scratch.

Half I put in the freezer and the other half I boxed up in plastic containers.

I filled another smaller container with raspberries and took all three to a terribly dirty Bluebell and drove down to the North Wales coast road to Flint.

The coast road used to be the main thoroughfare into and from North Wales and it is now defunct and terribly depressing. Former businesses that once hung on because of the traffic are all sold, boarded up and derelict.

The objective of my trip was just to leave the food on the doorstep of a friend . She has just lost her 30 year old son to covid and I think food can sometimes say more than words can ever can .

Words can sound so puny when grief is overwhelming.

In the end my friend opened the door as soon as I crept up the path, she had noticed and recognised Bluebell’s distinctive colour as it flashed by her kitchen window.

I found a jet wash on the way home and spent a lovely and very therapeutic half hour , cleaning and shampooing and buffing and polishing Bluebell until she shone with the power of Daniel Craig’s eyes

My friend’s grief , desperately hidden behind smiles and laughs was a heavy thing to witness and mindless cleaning can wipe the psychi clean too.

I stopped at a pet store before I got to Trelawnyd and bought Dorothy a new harness.

I ordered a light gravel to cover the patio and picked up some film magazines as a treat

The cottage still smelt of curry when I got home

Thank You

Thank you to my followers who supported Leo on his fundraising

He’s done incredibly well and thanks everyone for their kindnesses

https://www.walkforautism.co.uk/fundraisers/leoburton/walk-for-autism-2022

Fairy lights

I don’t want to go to back to work today

I want to sleep in under the duvet as the dark ice hardens Bluebell’s windscreen wipers.

In winter I hate coming home to a silent dark house.

The dogs will be at Trendy Carol’s and Albert is usually asleep in the West wing’s Office

and so the cottage is quiet and still and empty which I drive down the lane.

I often leave a light on in the living room to make the cottage more welcoming but tonight I will be faced with a row of fairy lights, left by my sister in the patio revamp of yesterday.

I will post photos of her work once the gravel is laid but yesterday she’s planted out camellia, and ferns and evergreen broad leaves as will as hellebores, heucheras, and tiny almost delicate herbs in miniature terracotta pots .

Delicate bulbs and flowers have filled a hanging basket and spring primulas fill the gaps within the bowls and buckets and planters with cheerful greenery.

It looks lovely

The solar powered fairly lights have been wrapped very carefully around the beams above, giving the cottage a rather cheerful aspect in the dark.

Mr Poznań had walked by very carefully, like an ageing king penguin, when I took the dogs out before choir zoom meeting at 6.30

I asked him if he’d liked the new light display

“ Very Pretty …..very gay “ was his simple reply

Choir

I needed choir tonight.

Perhaps it’s the wolf moon, but I sensed that all the choir did .

We met on zoom…the singing unimportant

Hattie’s baby Freya was there, Mary too on my knee like the baby she is, and lovely Heulwen, Jamie, Margaret and John, Gill, Hillary, Claire and Sarah and the others including the ever cheerful Lyndi without her Charlie

It was nice to see them all

But What?

I’m feeling somewhat unsettled today and I don’t know quite why.

I had an unsettled night.

So much so that Dorothy woke up from her sleep apnoea slumber to lick the back of my neck until I fell asleep again.

I have a sense of waiting for something important is about to happen.

But I have no idea of just what that something is.

It’s wrong footing me, somewhat.

I woke at dawn, with the bedroom full of a strange red glow and went outside to look and photograph the frozen but fiery sky to the east.

Further down the lane Trendy Carol had been photographing the skyline too. She was dressed in a fashionable long green coat and hat.

“ We are taking the girls tomorrow arnt we ?” She called , bringing a type of normality to the unreal morning.

I’m back at work on days after today.

I feel I’m waiting for someone to knock on the door .

Or for the phone to ring.

Or a message to ping.

It’s a strange feeling.

My sister is coming to organise my “patio” with its half arsed planters this afternoon and I’m meeting some friends shortly for lunch shortly.

Choir on zoom later, and I’ve collected all of the ingredients to make gyoza dumplings for my healthy lunch tomorrow.

The dogs have been walked and fed

And Dorothy is watching me carefully under a heavy brow from her usual spot on the kitchen reading chair

Something is going to happen…I’m sure of it

But what ?

Madge & Bisket

Sponsorship

Bit of a cheeky post today

My nephew, Leo is taking part in a sponsored walk for autism in March and is looking for sponsors

If you are interested in sponsoring him you can pledge any amount you like in the lower donate box on the right of the web page

He and I would be incredibly grateful for any donations received.

Monies will go to the autism Initiatives Group which is a charity that provides assessment , care education , employment and meaningful activity to individuals with autism spectrum condition and provides information and support to individuals with ASC, their families and carers

Link

https://www.walkforautism.co.uk/fundraisers/leoburton/walk-for-autism-2022

Thank You

Please Sir More Patatas Bravas !

Eleanor and I outside the Storyhouse

“ Darling John I’ve missed you so!”

Chic Eleanor was on lovely form when I saw her this afternoon

We met for a lovely late lunch in a rather swank tapas bar in Chester.

And she shirked her a Christmas pashmina with suitable joie de vivre before we clinked Sherry glasses. and ordered.

It’s ages since I’ve sampled traditional tapas,

It was lovely.

We ate delicate croquets filled with black pudding, delightful patatas bravas, sweet zamburiñas scallops in their shells and tiny bowls of chorizo infused lentils with garlic and we both agreed it was fantastic to feel cosmopolitan again.

“ Darling John” Eleanor crooned , holding my arm “ I’m so happy “

And so was I.

Eleanor exudes happiness

We went to see the so so, abridged and sanitised version of Oliver Twist at the Storyhouse which was almost fun.

Eleanor , as usual got into the spirit of the adaptation but without Bill Sykes’ death and Nancy’s abuse it wasn’t the same for me, though I did like the black African version of Fagan played with some talent by Cynthia Emeagi

We talked and talked and talked the afternoon away into evening and I left her by the Church , back at home thankful That I had ever met her.

Colour

Purple is the soul-lifter
Red, the flame of passion
Yellow, the light of warmth
Green, vibrant stem of life
Pink, a whisper of beauty
Orange beckons, take a chance
Blue is the sea tide in us all
~Terri Guillemets

What’s your colour?
Mine ?

I Give Up

After my disastrous date last year ( the one who never shut up about himself ) I was resigned never to meet up with someone from a faceless forum again.

Last week I received the offer of a “date” from a man I shall call Dan

We are both on the same LGBTQ+ Facebook group which is based in the next county but because of covid most of the social meeting activities planned have been postponed or cancelled over the last two years.

I did go on one of the walking excursions last summer, which was nice if not somewhat lesbian “ heavy” , but missed the PRIDE social which looked a little too young for me.

Dan messaged me from a comment I made suggesting running a gay themed cinema night. He sounded intelligent and film savvy and eventually after a few relaxed cinema based messages he asked if we could meet for a coffee.

He told me he was a riding instructor and that he was single

His Facebook profile looked pretty ordinary and sorted

This afternoon I drove to a cafe twenty miles away to meet him

The conversation flowed I thought and three coffees later we agreed to meet up on Tuesday for a dog walk. He seemed a little shy but interested.

When I got home I messaged him that I had enjoyed our chat

Only to find that he had left the social group and had just blocked me on Facebook, messenger and mobile phone…

Lol …….WTF ?

I think I’ve been ghosted

His last words to me in the car park were

“Don’t forget your poo bags”

The Field

Yesterday, I sort of threw away a comment that I had decided not to carry on with leasing the field.

I didn’t mean for it to sound dismissive.

It was just time for it to go.

Once, a few years ago now the field was filled with the chatter and movement of animals, activity surrounding four large allotment beds crammed with neat rows of vegetables, fruit bushes and the like.

The Ukrainian Village housed nearly 100 hens in one summer, with satellite houses providing a home for the dim hysterical Runner ducks, a gaggle of geese and the slow moving, delightfully morose turkeys who glided around the paddock like galleons in full sail.

Four pigs lived in the sty in the corner triangle right at the bottom of the field and up in the Ash trees on the Church borders came the noisy chatter of the guinea fowl who serenaded the entire village every morning and every dusk for years and years and years.

The Open Allotment days eventually turned into a successful village fete with a giant marquee housing, Sylvia and Irene’s famous table busting cake sale ( over 100 homemade cakes donated from the village ladies) and the Name the pig, save the pig Competition raised hundreds of pounds towards the Church Fund and The Motor Neurone Association

I’ve had a wander down memory Lane this morning and have picked out a few photographic memories to share with you all today.

Enjoy…..