After my disastrous date last year ( the one who never shut up about himself ) I was resigned never to meet up with someone from a faceless forum again.
Last week I received the offer of a “date” from a man I shall call Dan
We are both on the same LGBTQ+ Facebook group which is based in the next county but because of covid most of the social meeting activities planned have been postponed or cancelled over the last two years.
I did go on one of the walking excursions last summer, which was nice if not somewhat lesbian “ heavy” , but missed the PRIDE social which looked a little too young for me.
Dan messaged me from a comment I made suggesting running a gay themed cinema night. He sounded intelligent and film savvy and eventually after a few relaxed cinema based messages he asked if we could meet for a coffee.
He told me he was a riding instructor and that he was single
His Facebook profile looked pretty ordinary and sorted
This afternoon I drove to a cafe twenty miles away to meet him
The conversation flowed I thought and three coffees later we agreed to meet up on Tuesday for a dog walk. He seemed a little shy but interested.
When I got home I messaged him that I had enjoyed our chat
Only to find that he had left the social group and had just blocked me on Facebook, messenger and mobile phone…
Lol …….WTF ?
I think I’ve been ghosted
His last words to me in the car park were
“Don’t forget your poo bags”
Wow, his loss! Weird though. Chin up John, there's someone out there for everyone. xx
ReplyDeleteI’m not bothered snooze just surprised
DeleteWhy not just say "I've enjoyed our meet-up, see you around sometime" like a normal person? You'd have got the message straight away then and no harm done. Social media, texting and emailing have a lot to answer for methinks. People have lost the bottle to just deal with people in person. P.S. what an absolute ***khead!
ReplyDeleteHilarious. I laughed out loud.
ReplyDeleteI must admit I chuckled ....my first ghosting
DeleteDon’t laugh too heartily lol
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DeleteNow, now...remember: "Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious even if it kills you." Elsie deWolfe
DeleteLol he is my age too ..I thought ghosting only happened to youngsters
ReplyDeleteThe "disappearing act!" That's pretty funny. Talk about shy...poof.
ReplyDeleteA shy poof? Lol
DeleteOh, John, what a shame. As I read, I thought you were going to say things were looking up, you'd arranged to meet again etc, etc. Maybe he isn't out to his family and got cold feet. (Trying to be kind to him!) But really, whatever the reason, he should have had the decency to let you know he wasn't interested, especially as he was the one who instigated the meet up. What a plonker! xx
ReplyDeleteYes a complete twat
DeleteI think I at least deserved a “ dear john” message
Lol
Things don’t work like that in the modern app age
How bizarre. Blocking you so comprehensively and so suddenly. Sounds like there wouldn't have been much mileage in a relationship anyway.
ReplyDeleteI only met him for coffee lol
DeleteProbably done you a favour in the long run anyway John-Years ago I was going out briefly with what I recall was the lead singer of pop group Sweet lookalikie-I spotted him as I was walking through the city centre whilst on my lunchbreak-before I could get closer he ran through the doors of WH Smith and out the other end!-Honestly how silly-I was disappointed but always thought it funny afterwards x
ReplyDeleteRunning away is even sadder isn’t it
DeleteAn ex-partner visited me on Thursday and it was lovely to catch up with him and our respective family news. Last night unfortunately the ugly head that is sex reared it's head when he messaged me at 1am to tell me that I was "fantastic" when I took his gay virginity. Fuck knows where that came from. I could only reply that I am still fantastic but no longer sexually. I hope that sent a clear message to him, without offending his need.
ReplyDeleteFuck not offending him mave
DeleteAt least you are on good terms , which is healthy I guess
Apparently not John. You're well rid!
ReplyDelete"Ghosting!" Another new term for me. During my prime dating years you only had to unplug the phone jack from the wall to ghost someone. LOL
ReplyDeleteGhosting
Deletethe practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.”
How rude of him! I don't think that even qualifies as "ghosting," which would be not returning your messages. This is more like "zombie-fying" you. At least you found out his true character early.
ReplyDeleteI can laugh about it now, it sends the clearest of messages does it not?
DeleteNo ambiguity there
I’ve been properly baptised in app speak
ReplyDeleteWhat's up with that? Perhaps Dan is very shy but leaving the FB group and blocking you in one fell swoop is an extreme step. Maybe, in some way, you've had a lucky escape?
ReplyDeleteAs has been said, his loss.
Big hugs!
Something feels off
DeletePillock (him not you)
ReplyDeleteOf course!
DeleteHow bizarre! And after the conversation flowed and he agreed to meet up for a dog walk. Maybe he went back in the closet. Sounds to me like you escaped the bullet.
ReplyDeleteSomething doesn’t feel quite right
DeleteHe doesn't know what he's missing.
ReplyDeleteLol perhaps he does lol
DeleteWhat the bloody hell!!! Just a cold individual. That speaks volumes of him. I think that's why I never did a "cold meet up" or on apps or platforms. My dates have been with people I've known face to face.
ReplyDeleteYes, I’m trying open my circle of friends to accommodate this maddie xx
DeleteThat's just mean, but don't give up. There are much nicer people out there.
ReplyDeleteThere’s nothing to give up on xx
DeleteI guess give him the benefit of the doubt. When people don't respond to emails or social media it's sometimes because they have things going on in their lives that you don't know about (I'm being kind!). And if he has 'ghosted' you then think of it as a lucky escape! At this age (am 60 very shortly...) you want a genuine companion not people who play games.
ReplyDeleteHe’s blocked me so it was a deliberate ( and very quick) act as he’d only texted me two minutes before we met to make sure I was there
DeleteWell, what a shitty thing to happen. Shitty shitty, butthen again, he wasn't worth keeping, John. I hope you don't give up on dating altogether though. He's out there somewhere.
ReplyDeleteWell at least I didn’t sit through a full meal and two hours of self absorption lol
DeleteClearly the asshole didn't have the guts or the courtesy just to tell you directly that he wasn't interested in further get-togethers.
ReplyDeleteI’m pretty good at reading people, I missed that he wasn’t interested
DeleteThat is such weird behaviour and totally unnecessary. He wasn't worth having. Lucky escape for you.
ReplyDeleteIt was rude to be sure
DeleteSo sorry - thinking of you as always dear heart - do hope a good one comes along one day - you really deserve it.
ReplyDeleteOch Pat xxx it’s of no consequence at least it only cost me 4 coffees
DeleteAs my mum used to say "there's nowt so queer as folk". No pun intended by the way x
ReplyDeleteMore baggage with old gays Lisa lol
DeleteInteresting. For some reason you mentioning him appearing "shy" makes me think he got cold feet. "Frightened by his own courage" as the saying in the motherland goes. Consequently, clamming up. Don't say I don't give people the benefit of the doubt.
ReplyDeleteStill, whatever the explanation, bad manners if nothing else.
U
Yes, even when Berger finished with Carrie in SATC he did it on a post it!!!!!
DeleteDefinitely his loss.
ReplyDeleteChalk it up to experience
DeleteBizarre, do you think maybe he isn't single and is frightened that his partner may stumble up his phone/Facebook messages? Either way he's a loser you are best rid of.
ReplyDeleteOoooooo things are becoming complicated
DeleteMaybe he just couldn’t tell the truth …..there’s a lot of people out there that don’t
There are a lit of nutters out there. You are probably lucky he didn't eventually invite you back for a drink, pop a pill in your glass, and chop you up for eating with fava beans. Humans are not to be trusted... trust me...
ReplyDeletelot not lit
DeleteHe was quite sweet otherwise lol
DeleteHe will never know what he walked away from. What an odd world to date in.
ReplyDeleteLol oh I think he did lol
DeleteSounds like he could have been an ax murderer and you've dodged a bullet. They're the ones whose neighbors say "He was such a quit man" as the sheriff's are packing the miscreant into the Paddy Wagon and off to jail after discovering bodies buried in the back garden.
ReplyDeleteWe’ve gone from pollock to axe murderer lol
DeleteYou mustn't go by yourself another time John-Only meet in a public place and never alone indoors unless a friend is there too xx
ReplyDeleteI’ll buy a gun
DeletePoo bags!-I wonder if he was being sarcastic about your dogs-perhaps he would be jealous of them x
DeleteGood point about the poo bags, Flis. Unless the guy in question has a dog himself it might have been the deal breaker. People can be squeamish. Still doesn't excuse the "ghosting".
DeleteU
His loss, John. xx
ReplyDeleteTake no notice - it's his loss.
ReplyDeleteIm destined to be the spinster of the parish x
DeleteJust get on with life..the other will look after itself and turn up when you least expect it...or so I found.
DeleteGhosting...I have learned a new word there.
It can be painful but you have to live with it.
My best friend's widow has done that to a lot of his friends...not just ex-girlfriends...that hurts when you have gone through years believing you were friends
I’m not really bothered just irked
DeleteI didn't see that coming!
ReplyDeleteTo me three coffees would be nigh on an engagement
You’re a cheap date
DeleteI don't understand people.
ReplyDeleteThey are as fickle as sheep
DeleteIf that is the kind of person he is, he did you a favour after a first meeting, which is better than it happening down the track.
ReplyDeleteI do wish fir a bit more x
DeleteThat's like the modern version of being stood up. I spent many a freezing cold night when I was a teenager, standing on a street corner waiting for my date to turn up.
ReplyDeleteWe all have deArheart x
DeleteReminds me of the old Irish saying about the Titanic "It was fine when it left here".
ReplyDeleteOr what the person jumping off the Empire State Building said
DeleteSo far
So good
Hes a weirdo. Narrow escape me thinks. Take care on these dates. You are too good to lose.
ReplyDeleteFind me a man
DeleteJohn, I never myself knew what ghosted was until...fill in the blank. Stand tall you will find someone when you least want it or expect it. I live in New England and have been a longtime reader. Best...Jim
ReplyDeleteHow hurtful. And extreme on his part. He could have looked you in the eye, shaken your hand, and said, Nice meeting you. Goodbye.
ReplyDeleteYou had a lucky escape.
I once had a weekend fling with a guy I never expected to hear from again, and I was ok with that. Nice tats but crap technique and conversation. Then he rang a few days later, said he wanted to see me again. I was no so good at being assertive in those days or I'd have told him no, but we arranged a day and time, then he never showed, and I was left to wonder why he had even bothered to call back, and rather relieved that it was over since I hadn't liked him that much anyway. Ok for a fling, not for anything more. Switch forward to some time later, he's dating a friend of my sister and when he meets sis he says. "Do you know, I was hitching down the road the other day and your sister drove right by me. I know I didn't do the right thing by her, but wow, that was cold." I had such a laugh over the arrogance of that. If I drove by him, I never even gave that hitcher a 2nd thought and certainly didn't recognize him. It's not like I as a single woman in a car would ever stop for a male hitcher anyway, and he left my thoughts with some relief when he never showed. I did an accidental ghosting to a ghoster! :D Oh, and he gave that other lady herpes, so hey, I got off lightly! Maybe you did too, John!
ReplyDeleteWHAT!!! At least he should have had the decency to say that he didn't think you were suited, or something. What a pig.
ReplyDeleteYes arse x
DeleteI think he was looking for someone who would "fit in" with his lifestyle with no adjustments on his part. Not an animal lover in spite of being a riding instructor. He sounds a bit of a pain to be honest, with only a sarcastic sense of humour, selfishness and worst of all, appalling manners. Glad he didn't waste more of your time.
ReplyDeleteSee, if it were just Facebook and messenger, I would suggest that Facebook might have put him into Facebook Jail. That's happened to me before from time to time. But when you say mobile phone as well, that is a bit more deliberate.
ReplyDeleteHis loss, not yours. It's always a bit weird when a meet up seems to go really well and then that happens though, especially with a reason given.
ReplyDeleteYour first ghosting ... now you're down with the young ones :-)
That should of course say 'NO reason given' ...
DeleteWell, wt least you didn't sleep with him! ��
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, don't give up on meeting someone, Please. ❤️
You put yourself out there, that is the only way you will find someone..so I am told. I'm going to keep on with my sure things until they stop panning out. Otherwise, I would be giving up too!
ReplyDeleteSelma in the new SATC put herself out there, it was a discussion Carrie had
DeleteMaybe you were too right and it scared him a bit.
ReplyDeleteHe has no manners, you deserve much better! You almost certainly had a lucky escape! X
ReplyDeleteSorry John. His loss though. And maybe, your gain. Sounds like it.
ReplyDeleteHow strange! What is wrong with people? Sheesh.
ReplyDelete