The Trelawnyd Community Association Benefit Concert


 I was sat in the crowd for the first half so couldn’t film the mostly Welsh pieces, which were wonderful 
This piece is a famous Welsh Lullaby, I will post more pieces tomorrow but I will share with you these magnificent pieces. A lovely night and all Money to save our hall.


Bring Him Home from Les Miserables just for Cro


The choir had great fun with this one 
And to end the national anthem , I hope you can hear me singing 



Heaven sent


The village from the South East 
By villager David Hirst

 

Always be Nice To The Workpeople. Ps Traitors


 
Two engineers turned up this afternoon to replace the sky dish. The bloke , scouse and affable the woman , butch and very friendly. 
It was a juggle as their ladders were in the lane and the farm traffic is unpredictable . 
But as I kept plying them with coffee and custard creams even though they laughed at my 9 inch tv
So by the time they went ,they gave me free cinema watching credit 
Roger and Mary warmed their hearts with cuddles too

First episode of TRAITORS 
Richard E Grant is a National Treasure ( a male Celia Imrie)


The Second Hill from the Left




 Look carefully, Gop Hill is the second from the left on the horizon. That’s home. 
I finished counselling early ( a no show) so I went for a coffee and fishfinger sandwich in Colwyn Bay


No shows occur for a myriad of issues, lack of engagement , lack of rapport, the lack of structure and the non directive approach of person centred therapy are just a few. In trauma the freedom of choices can promote disengagement and disassociation.
Some people just want to be told what to do

I didn’t mull about it too much. The fish finger sandwich was glorious and the weather was warm.
And I took off my counselling jumper to show off my dinosaur t shirt.

Nothing profound today 
Just a fish finger sandwich

 

Love You


 It’s twenty to six! 
Jesus! 
I slept till 3 pm 
Grabbed a coffee and had 90 minutes on line supervision for all of my clients.
Tomorrow I’m counselling all day
I feel better than I did
Apparently I’m doing ok with my clients! 
Validation that I needed
On Friday I’m off to Wrexham to see Nish Kumar a well known British stand up 
Saturday is the annual Trelawnyd Male Voice Choir concert at the village Hall
Sunday lunch out with a friend. 
A nice balance now.
Suddenly it’s felt that it’s all or nothing 

I’ve been aware that I’ve been somewhat introspective of late, and I think that is true 
A trip to Sheffield has been put on hold because my theatrical friend John swan dived on a wet pavement ! ( ouch) a planned trip to Italy was put on hold by catheter issues

I booked to see Operation Mincemeat in London in December which made me smile, London at Christmas can be magical

But what I really needed today, was that virtual hug, that silly message, that comes out of the blue 
Saw this and thought of you……love  you x



I’m still here

 Oh bless Carol from Atlanta , she missis me! 
Alas I’m not in some faraway place 
I’m on my last shift of three 
36 hours working in three days 
Not much time but work, eat, shit , eat.

But today in my dreams, one’s laced with a sleeping tablet 
I Was the inside of the Sagrada Família 





Invisible

 

Do you ever feel insignificant ? 
I must admit I don’t very often.
But I did today, strangely enough when buttering a piece of toast.
The toast wasn’t the issue, 
Even though it was a German hard bread, 
The sort you have to run at to bite.

I was watching the Papal visit to France
His inaugural concert with thousands of smiling young faces, of fireworks and music
And suddenly felt very small
It was the same at the eye hospital when I read the happy boast 
We have seen 1328 patients this month! 
I was one of the 1328!

I understand the insignificance 
I’m not a part of any religion and I don’t want to be a part of an nhs statistic 
Late middle age is an invisible time too
It’s this why I wear t shirts with dinosaurs,on them? 
The German sent me a T shirt with a roaring T rex on the front 
“ Daddy-o-saurus” was the caption

I wore it today and only one person looked at it in the supermarket.




Sense and Sensibility revisited

Eleanor and Marianne

 I own the fact that I adored Ang Lee’s 1995 adaptation , with the gloriously amusing and heartbreaking Emma Thompson leading the charge. Of course Thompson was far too old for the role but she made it her own , as did Alan Rickman as the weary Colonel Brandon, an unlikely suitor to Kate Winslet’s Marianne.
It would be unfair of me to list all what was bad in this recent remake by Georgia Oakley, suffice to say that cinematographer Arnaud Poitier chose to film the whole piece with drab subdued colours, the antithesis of Lee’s Chocolate box version. 

Colonel Brandon 

I shall however underline what I DID like about this version .
The character of Marianne ( played by Esmé Creed Miles) was more flighty and fickle than Winslet’s Cupid’s bow version, I believed it more when her affections changed towards Colonel Brandon ( played rather well by the Norwegian actor ( Herbert Nordrum) and I loved how Nordrum gave the Colonel a sudden rush of temper and menace towards the sneering Willoughby( Frank Dillane), it made him rather dangerous and ever so sexy, unlike his 1995’s character) 

Mrs Jennings

Fiona Shaw recreated the wonderfully overblown Elizabeth Spriggs ( Mrs Jennings) wonderfully and gave this film its only real humour which was unfortunate as Fanny Dashwood, mr Palmer and  Sir John  were great comic asides in the “ original”

I enjoyed it, I must say It was worthy but a touch bland ,and I must also admit the choreography at the ball was abysmal if not bizarre . 

Bring back Thompson I say 



Dear Tom - The Germans

A funny day….the eye clinic this morning with a new, perfectly polite and precise German Doctor who was a dream . I may eventually go blind in my right eye but I made sure she knew her bedside manner was  exemplary. I came home , made more beef stew and completed some of my counselling tax returns

Hey ho

 Now Operation Mincemeat seems to be the slow burning musical winner in the west End and on Broadway .Based upon the British wartime ruse of tricking the Germans of the date and place of the invasion, it has MI5’s aging spinster Hester Leggart’s chatty letter to her fictitious boyfriend Tom which was placed in a corpse’s uniform pocket to give credibility to him and rank.

The letter has been crafted into a song which is possibly one of the most moving songs about loss and grief and war ever written, I hope you enjoy it 



Speaking of Germans my friend The German is in Austria 
I asked him to reenact Julie Andrew’s famous Sound of Music spin for me


And he did …..

Counselling going forward

 I have been qualified as a practicing counsellor for a year now.
That’s approximately 240 hours of client centred therapy.
Quite a lot, you may think, given the fact that said counsellor has been occasionally suffering from bouts of imposter syndrome during the past year.

I’m only just emerging from imposter syndrome and today was an example of feeling stretched and truly challenged as a professional counsellor as I was not only faced with a safeguarding issue which necessitated liaising with a host of medical professionals but had to deal with a client , I felt I couldn’t help in the way they wanted me to. 

You can feel somewhat isolated as a counsellor
You have to think on your feet,
You have to remain honest and objective 
And you have to be able to listen to that inner voice, the one that sometimes screams to high heaven 
When all about you is silent. 

I needed that challenge this week 
And I enjoyed dealing with it all in a professional, slightly stressed sort of way

Bake Off



I bought sunflowers from Aldi tonight.
They look cheerful in the kitchen as the autumn evening draws in. 
The Great British Bake Off starts tonight


Another signal that winter is almost here.
I’ve lit the fire as Roger is gleefully chasing a daddy long legs around the kitchen . 
It’s a habit William used to do with honey bees in the garden and it pleases me to see Roger playing the same games
Weaver is sat under my desk and has already grumbled at Mary as she ambled to the sofa to sleep her old lady sleep.
I’m counselling all day tomorrow so have put beef and vegetables in the slow cooker with stock , chillies and Worcestershire sauce…..beef stew is a great supper on an autumn night.

I will leave you with this video , which a friend sent me this morning , a memory from 2018
The best memory of an awful year…..thanks to you guys I raised 5 grand for Samaritans , even though I looked like Shelley Winters in a sleeping bag



Bullerengue


 My Spanish Lisping Choir has been going for many years. This is one of their early pieces and a bloody powerful one it is too. I loved its Columbian/ Negro Slave origins.
Lovely to see faces I’ve got to know , but oh so young! 
Enjoy.

This video is priceless. 
It also sums up my day 
As I was lifting Mary out of Bluebell , I dropped my phone
Roger jumped past me with me still holding his lead spinning me around
And in my fat, ungainly, 64 year old way 
I almost fell over 
I Staggered
Founced around 
And crushed said phone with a large plastic left foot croc ! 
Alas phone is no more! 

Fuckity fuck , fuck fuck !  

Home

 

Fifteen years ago to the minute, I would be opening the field gate for the last time in the day . 

In small groups of threes and fours the hens would already be  making their way to the eight hen houses that made up the Ukrainian village, the fat bottoms of the buff Orpington’s swinging like the hips of buxom Italian field workers.
The runner ducks stood in a large almost hysterical group by the duckhouse, all drumming their feet on the ground in nervous excitement. Two steps forward and a quick raise of an arm , and they would chunner loudly and dive into their house in a blind panic 

The Geese knew then it was their time for bed, and would extend their necks and unfold their wings  at me in feigned protest but that protest was never too marked , for minutes later they were seeking the softest part of the goose house floor in which to nest for the night.

Boris and Gloria follow. Boris puffing and blowing like a freight train and galleon in full sail, Gloria limping like the fat old lady she is

They have to be escorted more slowly as, rushing a turkey always makes them fall over
They don’t roost quickly, but watch me carefully as I walk away to sort the last of the birds 

With the latch on the turkey house firmly locked the last of the long lines of hens weaved their way homewards, most overseen by a protective cockerel with his head raised high and weaving in between them but moving towards the graveyard came the rugby ball shaped guinea fowl, all running low to the ground . They were off to roost in the Elm trees and they called to each other in clicks and tuts, like humorous clockwork toys as they fled to bed.

The pigs snort loudly and sigh in their straw beds, as the light finally changes to a colourless grey and finally the last of the hens tiptoe to bed. I lock each hen house door in turn, and smile to myself as the birds bicker and squabble for the best perches inside. 

Left outside on the field is Albert ,and perhaps George who is tottering behind , quite happily. 
The three of us amble for home as the sheep kneel then lie in the grass border under the hawthorn and the lights from the cottage suddenly fall across the lane , leaving a path for us to follow, 
As night falls at last…….




Durme Durme/lisgor ma'agal


 I couldn’t sleep after nights, so played this Spanish / Jewish lullaby on a loop until Weaver joined me on my hip, and we both dozed until just after midday.


Blog Reader Lee had been taken ill on her beloved bar stool, I found out yesterday 
I thought that this was quite fitting and had some of the theatre about the woman who always seemed to sit in it. 
Her cousin told me that the Hebrew Language had a saying Lisgor ma’ahal which fitted her place of death, as its means the closing of a circle so to speak or the resolving of a life chapter 🍸

I miss her already

Fish Finger Butty


 A fishfinger bap, smothered in tartar sauce and coffee for lunch. I met one of my friends from my old counselling course today. She hurled herself into part time counselling from her social worker career and has stuck to it like the majority of our group. 
A wisecracking Glaswegian , I needed her straight talking, fresh approach to problem 
working tonight

Hey ho 

Lee😞

 

Late News

It is with much sadness that I share with you the awful news that veteran blog commentator “ Lee” died very suddenly on Monday afternoon ( New York time) 

Her cousin emailed me this afternoon with the news and I am honoured to be included in the list of “to be told” people , listed on Lee’s desk in her 5th Avenue apartment
Lee wasn’t her real name , and so I have been asked by her relatives not to disclose any further personal information about her, a fact I will honour but lee was the name of her long term partner who died back in 2005, and whom she missed every day of her life.

I shared with Lee’s cousin her constant need to fight my blog battles for me , and they immediately wrote back that a “battling nature” was  a constant in Lee‘s life. 
They told me, that once Lee had witnessed an Asian shopkeeper being racially abused in a store off 2nd avenue , at 71 she had hurled cans of coke and beer at the abuser until they backed off, waiting as a bodyguard until the police arrived.

I remember her championing every troll attacked blog , with a potty mouth and acid humour. She was loyal and sweet and we emailed each other regularly, with silly stories and mutual support amid periods of loneliness and bouts of ill health. 
I so wanted to share a dirty martini with her at Docks on Third Avenue
But alas I never have

Her family has requesting anonymity but have agreed to send me a photo of her as long as I don’t publish it. 
I will treasure it when it arrives 

Lee was a supporter of many New York charities including the mental health charity The Jewish Board which is a leading social services agency charity for the city

She will be missed for sure 

Hey ho 😥🌈

Don’t Get Me Started!

 Sometimes I do a stream on a gay discussion website 
I think I may have been too opinionated on my last effort to be an internet sensation 
A gay friend who watched me rant about , of all things , how bad the Lord Of The Rings Movies were
Sent me this 
I think he was trying to tell me something



Sky Watching


 After twenty years I need a new sky box and dish, and so kept my counselling paperwork, emails and expenses to work on when I waited for the sky guy to arrive.
He arrived at 8 am and stayed two minutes, apparently he needed a colleague to help him and would come again in a couple of weeks time. The workman also saw my Jurassic Park T shirt and said it was his favourite movie he also apologised for the delay and promised me some compensation.
I made coffee and sat down to my paperwork .

Having a desk with a lovely view allows your mind to wander 
It has wandered all day


Phone Home


You don’t know what you don’t know ! 
And I and know very little about my mobile phone. 
Today I joined 8 others from the village in a four week course of “ Getting the best out of your mobile phone” 
The simple realisation of I know fuck all about my came as a little bit of a shock, but that little Samsung bundle of joy has been an anathema to me since the day I bought it .
And I’m not the only one. 
The eight of us were all pretty clueless, eight including Pippa from the Rectory, Farmer Gwyn and Anne H. From the friendship group, dim wits all…..
“ I used to be able to work an intensive care ventilator but this phone has me beaten” I moaned during the introductions
And I meant it

Sunday


 I’ve had three weeks holiday in the past month
I’ve needed it. 
I haven’t done a great deal these past few days though.
I met my family for coffee and delighted in the story that my dear sister in law got locked inside a Chester Garden Centre after hours and had to be rescued by the police.
I enjoyed the theatre. 
A cinema trip to see a so so thriller ( not worth a review) and breakfast today in Colwyn Bay with a friend who was not up to talking, so we  sat with our coffees looking out at the blue sea in silence
I bought pulled pork laden chips which Mary and Roger shared
And lit the fire late tonight after my Spanish lesson 

Lo siento, olvidé hailer en español

I cooked prawns and garlic like the Book Club Host did tonight 
And ate them with garlic bread which made my gums numb

 I love this film ….