A memory flashed into consciousness after a patient watched a film full of bonnets and tailcoats.
Christmas Week 2004. I was at work at the Spinal Injury Unit in Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital . My husband was off work and had gone for a riding lesson, so had strode onto the ward in riding boots and tight fitting jodhpurs. He also was tall and often held himself with a slight imperious air, so when he asked for me, a wisecracking Yorkshire nurse called Alexa scurried from the nurses station into the ward round multi disciplinary meeting where I was busy with the consultants and psychologist and physios and hissed at me
“ There’s a Mr Darcy to see you John” she shared rather breathlessly “His breeches are magnificent !”
Auntie Glad’s daughter emailed me today wanting Village Elder Islwyn’s address. She wanted to thank him for the work he had organised for some of her family graves which had been recently damaged during the recent storms “ What a hero he is to me. He's 75 and still physically working. His knowledge of who's who there was quite entertaining!” She wrote with clear affection. It’s nice that Islwyn is being celebrated…………
Jackson’s Shop and Nursery lies a stone’s throw east of the village. Every year they deliver a small plant to every house in the Trelawnyd which is a lovely gesture and mine turned up today
How sweet…….
Animal Helper Pat had a stroke last week. She told me this troublesome news herself, only this afternoon , after delivering a still warm home baked bara brith loaf wrapped in silver paper with an accompanying Christmas card. Apparantly she had been hospitalised for four days and was somewhat upset in missing the village show,
“Where are you off to now ?” I asked her
“ I’m off the deliver Christmas Cards “ she said brightly
“In between nursing jobs, I labelled some tins of gin and tonic for the day staff and wrapped a few gifts of my own.it was then I remembered Mrs Trellis.
On the way to work I spied her on London road her head down against the cold dark wind. Her bobble hat sticking out defiantly ahead of her
She was heading for the cottage
I stopped the car and she dropped a gift, through the window and onto the passenger seat with all of the aseptic technique remembered by the retired midwife .
The gift was wrapped a green felt and was tied with garden twine fashioned into a bow
“ You always giggled at Christine Davis bringing in the baby Jesus” she said in way of explanation
And as I drove away I remembered all too clearly being in fits of giggles when Rector Robert commanded rather theatrically for Christine the Church Warden to “ Bring In The Baby Jesus !”
The small figure , being transported in an upturned palm towards the nativity scene laid out before the pulpit.
The Christmas Eve carol service with nativity was an old tradition I always went to in Trelawnyd.
Last night the Church looked old and cold and lonely.
As did Mrs Trellis
and I wished I would have thanked her more when I finally got around to opening her gift from my place behind the nurses station .
For wrapped in tissue paper inside the green felt was a rather naive but charming Baby Jesus alongside a plump and cheerful Virgin Mary, splendid in blue.”
It’s not been all Trelawnyd Productions this week.
I’ve managed to fit in Chic Eleanor for brunch and another friend for breakfast at Bryn William’s.
Today after a couple of hours sleep another friend and I are off the the Lowery in Manchester to see the camp as Christmas Unfortunate Ursula- The Untold story of Ursula the sea witch
Well,I’ve said it this morning and I will say it again, that Linda sets the tone when it comes to teamwork. She is the voice of optimism and of sanity and of order, and this morning she rang me to express just how happy she was that the show was a success. Linda is an old hand at smoothing the waters when it comes to teams, but in this case , last night she acknowledged that there were no egos in the production, no personal dramas, just “people getting on with the jobs they needed to do.
“ That is down to you, you set the tone” I told her and I meant it.
A lot of people worked together well last night, and it may sound corny, but even the slightly cynical Jason was caught up in the bon Vivre of the night, likening it a film script. Director Kira was beaming
And the two readings one by Filapina Nina ( a tribute to her love for wife Chelsea ) and the other by Linda ( A Child’s Christmas in Wales) were incredibly moving.
The hall was packed, its numbers swelled by the acts and the Gwaenysgor Community Choir, who jumped into the show, filling a major gap in the second half. They closed the show with a bang
My job, was taking tickets and manning the main entrance, which proved to be rather busy given the number of vapers, a drunk from outside who wanted a free admittance and a rather assertive woman who had been blocked in the car park by an audience member. I managed to watch most of the acts but as Imogen finished her Anastasia piece, a messenger note flitted over my iPad screen.
It was from my cousin Mathew ( my mother’s brother’s son) who said that he was in Rotherham Hospice with his mother Dena, my aunt, and that she had just opened the Christmas Card I had sent her.
I am the only one of the my family to keep in touch with her and although I hadn’t seen her for a decade, this news literally took the wind out of my sails,
So I sat quietly, for a bit in the quiet , cold foyer of the Memorial Hall,
And folded my hands into my lap,
And thought of my aunt
As the applause grew and the acts sang their best….
We opened the doors at 6.30 pm and the hall was packed to capacity by 6.50. It was a grand night , which I shall share properly tomorrow.
Velvet Voiced Linda almost stole the show with her spirited A child’s Christmas In Wales by Dylan Thomas and I loved Nina’s “ A Filipina In Trelawnyd “ which had the same vibe
But it was the music won the night, The Folk group Cecryn my dear Gwaenysgor Choir, Chelsea Cameron , ten year old Imogen .all were amazing, and I watched it all from my fire exit duty position as the team produced a night of fun and community .
Much love to the eclectic committee….we made 1000£ in 2 hours
The Hall is prepared , the Trelawnyd Productions committee are shit hot when preparation is concerned. The lighting is up and running thanks to Velvet Voiced Linda’s son in law and Village Leader Ian . Pa Manley is on the lights . Affable Despot Jason and Will are manning the stage with Dave and director Kira.
We have a compare, sorted. All the acts have been sound checked, and powerhouse brummie local counsellor Gina is on raffle sales with Sandra C. The ice creams have been delivered. The health and safety stewards nominated, I’m on the door and local actor and singer Philip Hughes is playing the piano before we start .
Filipina Nina, who is new to the village and who is reading her own little reading A Filipina in Trelawnyd hugged us in excitement “ I feel welcomed” she said sweetly
And ten year old Imogen is singing this lovely song in the second half
And just like a blood family , I don’t always see some of them that often ,
But our lives are intertwined by a commonality of history, and sociability and events and community ..
And I love that
Monday many of the villagers went to the Trelawnyd Community Association’s quiz held in the pub .
I met up with Affable Despot Jason , his wife Clare and daughter Liv
Liv was the wisecracking 8 year old I used to babysit who used to back comb William into a Tina Turner lookalike and who would make zombie cookies with me before smashing windfall apples with me for the pigs to eat in her new school shoes.
I haven’t seen her for an age,
Now she’s talking about university planning
At the quiz I told her that last year I bought a Lego Statue of Liberty and shared that I hadn’t made time to construct it
And mine , at this time of year, do centre about posted Christmas Cards
Since 1989 I have the slightly irrational wish to have enough Christmas cards to hang around my living room. In Providence Road in Walkley, Wynyard Road in Hillsborough and in Bwthyn y llan in Trelawnyd , I have always surrounded the living room with Christmas Cards. And I’ve always been pleased that it has happened…every year…….every year for 36 years….
Is it all about ego? ….perhaps?……is it about validation ? Could be …..Neediness? …….you never know
Habit? …too right ….
Last night I posted my Trelawnyd Productions! Christmas Cards…thirty cards all told …..26£
A reduced number than I usually send ….
A statement which is sad ….that posted Christmas cards seem to be a bit of a dinosaur nowadays
I have to accept that because of financial constraints people just don’t send Christmas cards anymore
I’ve been on a study day for half the day and shopped the rest. I bought bits and pieces for the Show’s raffle prize - a Christmas hamper and then purchased a light up Father Christmas for a second prize. The cardboard cottages which house my family gifts needed a clean and a dry after Weaver had weed on the table which featured them. Each one of my family will get a selection of small tiny gifts then a certificate of donation to a charity which I hope is close to their heart.
The food at The Crown ( Our village Pub) is bloody lovely. I finished nights, getting home around 9 am, slept three hours then met my friend Ruth for a traditional Sunday roast dinner .
Nice to see the new landlords so busy.
The pub is manning the bar at the show night which is kind of them .
This post was written exactly eleven years ago…how things change but a nice one remembered
Meet " The Bastards"These two young and badly behaved lodgers have arrived just before Christmas and will be guests on the field until sometime in February. They are the property of the owner of a local bed & breakfast, who is off to Malaysia for a month. I didn't know him from Adam when he turned up with the sob story of not having a goose sitter, but true to form, I accepted the challenge, even though the new bees are two of the most narky, bad tempered birds that I have ever had the misfortune to meet. Ever since they arrived the resident flock of geese, the sheep and a few of the older, slower hens have been pecked,intimidated and bullied , so much so That I have had to employ a daily regime of behavior modification in order to assert my dominance over the pair, who think nothing of slipping an orange beak down the crack of your underpants in order to grab a pound of flesh when you are bending over a feed bucket!
So, every morning I will drag each bird out of their house. Take a firm hold of their neck and wings, then will take a walk around the field with the bird tightly tucked underneath my armpit. It's an old trick that can tame an aggressive cockerel, for after a while, you can actually feel the bird " relax" a sign that it has accepted you are the boss. It's labour intensive...but effective. And so, every morning I look like a strange Scot playing a set of white bagpipes around the field, as " The Bastards" are hopefully transformed from evil devil birds to a pair of twittering canaries . Having said this, I was goosed in the knackers rather violently only this morning, when I dropped my guard opening up the goose house......
The resident goose flock
Russell, Camilla Parker Bowles, Winnie, and Jo
Ps. The Bastards stayed for over a year, before a lesbian Policewoman from Llanfair TH called Bunty finally took them over.
The Manley's came up trumps tonight and erected their old folk backcloth to the huge area of white behind the village hall's stage.
It looks fab.
They are a powerful force the Manleys ...a bit like The Tracey's out of THUNDERBIRDS.
Director Kira sorted out the sound checks for Chelsea ( our solo female singer) and she sounded fantastic as did the folk trio brought by Alun ( who won many a bread catagory in the Flower Show)
Affable Despot Jason slapped me on the shoulder and quipped " Bloody hell John I think we may have a fab show!"
And I think he maybe right..
One choir has suddenly backed out but ive thrown myself at the feet of my choir and i think they will fill the gap nicely.
The show,isnt just a silly village show in my opinion
( which in some daft way of course it is)
Its a suture which binds people and community together.
Something to be vaguely proud of
Something to be shared
And celebrated
And enjoyed
" I'll need a massive drink on Friday night" Kira shared before we left the hall
And we all agreed rather
vociferously , like teenagers at their first party
I wrote this post in my head a few days ago. Reminded by an old photo of a group of smiling nurses grouped around a man in a wheelchair.
When I was a charge nurse, through necessity and like many singletons ,I often worked the late shift on Christmas Day. There was often an unwritten rule that nurses on that shift came in slightly early in order for the morning staff to get home to their families but the interview room was filled with goodies to eat and visitors catered for the patients for much of the day so the shift was as pleasant as it could be,and on Christmas Day 1998 the five nurses working with me were a grand bunch indeed.
Our patients were the spinally injured who were newly paralysed usually through some trauma and most were nursed on flat bedrest in order for fractures of neck or back to be strong enough to start to allow the patients to mobilise in wheelchairs. One young patient had proved to be a nursing challenge for several weeks prior to that Christmas Day. I shall call him Darren. Now Darren, a man in his early twenties, was paralysed from the waist down after crashing his stolen car during a long police pursuit. A skinny terrier of a man, Darren lived his short life ducking and diving in the extremes of poverty, institutional care and crime and after his injury had become sullen and combative with the Spinal Injury staff overseeing his care. We all knew that Christmas that year was bringing Darren to some sort of emotional crisis; the experienced staff had seen this sort of thing time and time again, and so when visitors arrived from all over North Eastern Britain to support the three other patients in Darren's Ward leaving him feeling angry and resentful and foul mouthed, we were almost prepared for how things unfurled .
Nursing care is intensive on an acute spinal Ward, with each patient being specially turned every two hours by a group of three carers and all it took was a gesture of kindness for the floodgates to be opened on Darren's pain. Pain and grief at being disabled and alone at twenty five years old. I remember Darren being tight lipped with his arms crossed as he was turned and I remember the nurse nearest to him pausing before we left for the next patient. The nurse was Edith Marimbirie and I remember her clearly. A heavy set, gentle faced Senior midwife in her native Zimbabwe Edith had come to our Ward late in her career and like most African nurses I have had the pleasure to work with she carried out her work in a graceful unhurried pace all of its own. With a motherly hand and a gentle word she gently cupped Darren's teeth clenched cheek for a long moment and that's all it took. The tears flowed. Without fanfare another nurse pulled the curtains around the bed and all but Edith left the bed space quietly as Darren sobbed and sobbed and sobbed his pain away, and for the next few hours Edith never left his side. A mother soothing a child of a man.
I remember that Christmas Day well as we were busy. But with Edith effectively out of duties the remaining nurses on the Ward never complained that they had more to do, not once and finally, hours later , when Edith joined her colleagues in the interview room with its desks heavy with brought in party food , she was hugged and kissed in thanks for what she had done that afternoon.
Darren turned a rehab corner that Christmas Day. And he went on to be successfully discharged , self caring in his wheelchair. And Edith used her motherly warmth a score more of times in a way the nursing curriculum never teaches you or even really acknowledges .
I shared some nursing stories from over 36 years with a friend recently the funny ones made them laugh...it was nice to giggle along
I've been assaulted several times over the years ranging from slaps and bites, one black eyed punch, one wet turd flung at the back of my head, being hit with a bag of urine which burst on impact and I've had at least 6 pairs of specs broken.
I was hospitalised just once following a particularly nasty attack .
I've crashed a drunken paraplegic into a ditch in his wheelchair during a panicked push back to the rehab unit from the pub during a snow storm
Ive employed a buxom nurse’s bust as a diversion to a male patient who had a particular painful dressing
As part of a course I was on I managed to organise a work experience placement at a series of Pittsburgh hospitals
I've seen 5 babies born including one that was christened Harley Davison
I was taught to dance the veleta in 1983 in order to partner long term psychiatric patients at their Christmas do
I have witnessed open heart cardiac massage twice, held 4 severed fingers in a vomit bowl and witnessed someone bleed to death in a few seconds from ruptured oesophageal varice
I have sneaked a small dog into ITU to visit her master
I was reported by a patient in the community for saying I was working for the gas board
Visiting the same patient ( as above) I sat on but didn’t injure her chihuahua
I have dated one patient ( only after I had nursed him and he had been discharged)
I've dated 5 nurses ( 3women 2 men)
I 've shagged one doctor
I've played myself on a tv medical documentary ( you only saw my arse)
I have helped at least 3 couples conceive babies
I have sat with dying patients too numerous to mention , laying them out with well practiced dignity afterwards
I have attended perhaps a dozen funerals in and without uniform
I have put a visitor with learning difficulties to bed ! After undressing him and putting him into pyjamas
I have helped scores of Spinally injured men achieve an erection!
I ( and my ward staff) have won two quality prizes for our work
I have sat a course for looking after the newborn baby and got told off for cleaning a baby's arse under a mixer tap
I have dropped a psychiatric patient down a fire escape
I have cried a hundred times in a sluice, in a clinical side room or at home over a bad day
I once kissed a policeman when I was on night duty ( 1988)
I once shared a bed briefly with a quadraplegic when I was hungover
I have danced on the roof of a main hospital in sheffield
I have mentored scores of junior nurses and still keep in touch with many of them
I once created a whole balcony garden , complete with trees in massive planters for my bedrest patients
I once got my arse stuck in the window of the changing room at lodge moor hospital
I have never fainted at work but I did vomit once after a patient threw up in my mouth during CPR ( in the old days)
I have loved many many many special people and been loved by a few back
I have had the privilege to be present at more patient deaths than I could count
A previous workmate has just added" Miss you John Gray you did forget to mention your amazing neck massages and ability to hug me and/ or scape me off the ceiling xxxo and your very fit arse!" ..thank you Shelly
