Going Gently

The Thursday Murder Club

Cross The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel with a bog standard Midsummer Murders and bingo you will have The Thursday Murder Club

The film is bland, but fun, predictable and amusing and it’s a lovely afternoon film to enjoy with a friend .

The plot is no more convoluted than a teatime Agatha Christie ,but we are introduced to four unlikely residents of an upmarket stately home sized retirement complex who have banded together to form a club which solves old cold cases “stolen” from the Met.

Leader Elizabeth ( Helen Mirren) is a former director of MI5, Ron ( Pierce Brosnan) an unlikely cockney trade unionist.Joyce ( Celia Imrie) a retired nurse and Ibramin ( Ben Kingsley) a psychiatrist , all look like they have great fun solving the crimes with all of the gusto of the kids from Scooby do

Mirren, especially looks like she’s have a ball as she parodies not only her Prime Suspect tv days but her role in The Queen. She’s very good in this, as is Kingsley, and Imrie, and her scenes with her husband ( jonathon Pryce) who is suffering from dementia, has a sweetness to them which is incredibly moving .

Thin, escapist movie making certainly

But it’s a fun and somewhat charming tv movie.

Well worth a visit

Eye

My eye injection was unpleasant but not painful

I asked the nurse if a colleague could hold my head still and she complied with suitable force

( she could have wrestled a pig)

The only thing that went wrong

Is…..

They used permanent marker to dot above the eye to be injected

I did see the funny side

Matriarchs

My family at my nephew Jon’s wedding

Tomorrow morning,

my sister Ann is picking me up in order to take me to the eye hospital .

My sisters ( and sister in law ) have always been in my corner

Always my support.

I come from a family of wonderful matriarchs

This is common with gay men

Women have always featured strongly in my life

My sisters, my grandmothers, my family friends

My personal female friends and aunts and nieces ( in law)

They dominate my psychi

And my life

And I’m all the better for their control and influence

Ann always walks me to my car when I leave her house,

She says goodbye with a certain care

And I value it,

So much

Chuck

The Life Of Chuck didn’t move me at all.

I thought it would.

The hallucinations of a dying man, trying to make sense of his past and present , you would think , would be an emotional romp.

It wasn’t

I met a friend not known for their heat tolerance

So sitting in cool air con was worth the ten quid ticket price

And we stayed till the end just to confirm what the hell had just happened

Another eye injection tomorrow

Gawd! Fuck! Bollocks!

Sorry BABY

When I got home a plate of tomatoes sat on the kitchen wall. They are sweet and fresh and must come from animal helper Pat’s vine.

Eva Victor as Agnes

I’ve been to the cinema today and saw Sorry Baby

It’s a wonderful watch.

Written and acted by Eva Victor, it tells the survival story of Agnes, a possibly neuro-divergent University Professor and her four year recovery from being sexually abused by her tutor whilst a graduating student.

Told in five episodes ( 2 in flashback) we follow Agnes and her friendship with fellow student Lydia's ( Naomi Ackie) The friendship is intense and unconditional, and is pivotal to Agnes’ recovery and in some bitingly funny scenes we see her negotiate with intelligence and dignity the pain such an event has on a life, lived quietly.

The audience roots for the lost Agnes. Her small triumphs are our triumphs, and we smile when she provides a home for a lost kitten or when she is comforted by a benign middle aged cafe owner when out of control ( a nice turn by John Carol Lynch) below

The story is a hopeful one and its refreshing that Agnes is never portrayed as a victim , but more a person who holds her cards to her chest and who is what she is.

It’s a lovely film

And its message lingers long in the mind , well after the credits have rolled.

Agnes and Lydia a touching friendship

Sunny Day

Bun is in the garden and Weaver is proudly sitting in the living room. It’s warm and sunny and I’m returning to work on nights tonight.

I met chic Eleanor this morning for breakfast. We had a full English which she described as gloriously decadent. She is a stunningly attractive woman who reminds me of Lee Remick and I love that she has the habit of holding my arm when she is moved or emotional .

It was nice to catch up

Streaming

The uncertainty of the past month has drawn me to the diversion of online streaming

I found a stream that centred its attentions to mature professional gay men and found myself chatting to men from all over the world, most over a McDonald’s Coffee and porridge breakfast.

Of course like any, internet phenomenon, there are idiots and predators there, but robust policing of the site and strict boundaries set by me, tend to eject the unwelcome before they can cause trouble or offence.

This morning I had a hilarious conversation with a Spanish Physiotherapist, a Fijian Emergency Room Doctor, a gentle IT specialist from Denmark and a wisecracking father of two from New Zealand.

With the 5 of us sharing a similar sense of humour, I laughed until I cried

The world isn’t that big after all

Ps this video and story moved me greatly

The World According To Auntie Glad

I’ve just been The Crown

The pub is under new management

An Older and pragmatic couple

I met a friend from the village who is newly separated

And it felt good lending an ear so to speak .

Before we parted

He shared that he hated coming home to an empty house

And I was reminded of some sanguine advice given to me by auntie Glad when the Prof left

I shared it

“ When you go out in winter John, always leave a light on in the cottage- “ she said, her watery blue eyes gentle and twinkling

“The light will welcome you home”

And my friend smiled at the simple power of it

Kissing

Eye Hospital appointment today made bearable by professional care, a great consultant and a meeting with fellow patient Mo who is the leader of the village Friendship Group.

I had several scans which shows the bleed in my eye improving

But does anyone else feel like this ? When the doctor , or nurse or technician is scanning my eyes so close up and intimate like , I suddenly have the real urge to kiss them.

Am I unique in feeling this way?

Answers on a postcard

Moon River

My favourite song

Sung wonderfully

Btw

It’s almost time for a new rescue bulldog !

And finally

Matilda and Angel

It was 1987 and it was a winter’s night filled with snow in a picture perfect York.
I was transferred to take charge of an elderly ward as staffing was dire.
I was a very junior staff nurse supported by two support workers.

The support workers were two Jamaican ladies of mature years.
I was told to refer to them with a respectful " Mrs Lewis and Mrs Dawson by the handover nurse
" They will show you the ropes" I was told carefully.
I had never really spoke to a person of colour before. You never saw many non whites back then in North Wales and Chester, where I grew up and trained as a psychiatric nurse, but I was bright enough even then not to pull rank on two experienced nurse aides, and so I stepped back and allowed myself to be told what to do.
Mrs Lewis and Mrs Dawson worked at their own pace. They were unhurried and respectful, as they washed dirty bottoms and undressed the confused and the mute and I watched with some awe as together they bedded down 25 confused elderly ladies with the tired and practiced ease of two broad hipped grandmothers that had seen some hardship over a 40 year career.
They sang together as they worked and they laughed and hugged their patients with warmth when hugs were needed and by midnight the ward was quiet as they dished out their own suppers of rice and peas and jerk chicken at the nurses station.
I was given a plate too, with a napkin and a glass of homemade ginger cordial and as I listened to them chat and laugh and I answered their questions about my home and family I realised just how sheltered I had been for the first 20 years of my life
At 6 am I asked their Christian names.....Matilda and Angel, I was told and we all laughed....
It was a cold and snowy night in York and I took charge of an elderly ward of 25 senile patients
And I learnt more about good nursing care and life from two black, big hearted support workers in 10 hours than I ever did from three years of my psychiatric nurse training.

Bootham park hospital York in winter

Job

The email came through this afternoon. The hospice had received enough voluntary redundancy applications amongst the nursing staff for the cost cutting to be completed

There will be no compulsory redundancies.

I rang Nu first who suggested gin and lots of it

And I’ve been messaging people for the past hour, thanking them for their support

Finally I took Roger up the lane to Mr Poźnan’s neat bungalow and told him personally

And I hugged him with the longest of Disney hugs

- Never Far From Me

The lights in the cottage at night

Show her cataracts and in the gloom I now see an old lady

She’s now almost blind in one eye.

And walks a little stiffly now

But she eats well even though her weight is now light for her size.

We walked out last night at dusk.

Roger now leading as she once did

She following

As he once did.

We stopped at the field gate

And Roger dipped his head to the grass

But Mary didn’t……

She stood still and held her head up to the night breeze and closed her eyes

And in that moment

I couldn’t have loved my old girl more

Ponies

Two of the field ponies have been moved so the remaining ones are vocal and calling into the night for their loved ones which is behaviour I sort of like even if it is sort of melancholy

Saw a so so sit com in Chester this afternoon The Materialists

Badly cast but Pedro Pascal was cute as a middle aged Latino button

Hey ho

Mr Poźnan

Village Leader Ian called in to see Mr Poźnan a week before the flower show. He sold him raffle tickets and asked if he’d enter something from his garden. Mr Poźnan entered his rhubarb even though he’s been unwell for a long time now.

I saw Mr Poźnan on the morning of The Show.

His eyes are always twinkling and are a watery blue like Auntie Glad’s,

And he always has a gentle smile on his face, even when his hip pained him, as he walks

His rhubarb, as it turned out, was a winning class, which tickled him and his wife

Before judging, he gently held my elbow and guided me to a quiet corner of the hall.

He was serious and straight to the point

And how I didn’t cry then and there , God only knows

“ I hear your job is under threat ? he whispered with only a hint of accent “ do you need any money?”

I looked at him silently and his blue eyes nodded “ Just say and it’s yours” he added kindly

I could only smile awkwardly, my lips tight and sensing my emotion ,

He squeezed my elbow and whispered again

“ Your trousers are inside out by the way “

And he was right, my trendy linen pants from Madrid were indeed inside out

La leyenda del beso / Intermedio - Grupo Talía

I’ve not shown this video before as it didn’t feature the lisping choir …it’s it’s a masterclass in Spanish zarzuela

I was in the audience for this, and I can tell you the hairs on the back of my head were raised throughout

It’s hot today, around 30 degrees. I’ve cleaned the cottage after sleeping a few hours and braved the cat litter tray with a heavy heart and a stomach lining in my gullet.

Weaver is out hunting.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if I caught her trying to pull a dead buffalo through the cat flap one day. Bun is curled up on my bed clutching a sock

How the two girls are so different never ceases to amaze me.

Mary has bald patches after her phantom pregnancy and Roger has learned to squeeze himself through the cat flap but unfortunately only outwards rather than inwards

No news today

Porto Goodbye

One of the most beautiful things I’ve seen recently

The medical students from Porto University saying goodbye to their training city

Thank You

No real blog today, just a thank you to animal helper Pat , ( for the beans) , The Manley’s ( for muffins with homegrown blueberries and handmade card) and to I’m presuming Eirlys ( for the eggs left on the kitchen wall)…I’m meeting Andrew from well street for a drink in the Crown ( under new management )

Stress

I can’t seem to settle at anything at the moment. The deadline for voluntary redundancies is four days away and so my colleagues and I have to live with the uncertainty until then and beyond.

I’m not sleeping well and I don’t feel like writing the blog

I feel lethargic and out of sorts .

Of course things divert me for a while The Gilded Age has proved a slow burn of a watch with Bertha Russell’s social climb in 1890s New York and the sudden arrival of the dishy English Duke Hector ( Ben Lamb)

I may omit posts these next few days…until I know what my employment fate it