Both sides Now

 Mary collapsed this morning
One minute she was barking vaguely at a passing dog Roger had seen , and the next minute she was lying on her side in the throws of a fit. 
Her gums were blue
I scooped her up and we sat in the kitchen reading chair for an age. 
Roger’s nose pressed against my elbow 
Watching
And slowly things quietened and her breath came back to normal 
By midday she ate a small dinner of casserole beef and drank a beaten egg
She looked tired and had a wee on the living room carpet

This afternoon we listened to music on the couch, her head resting on my neck and I fed her bits of cheese which she took politely 
Bun joined us, or was it Weaver ? 
I still can’t be sure
Only one cat for the last week 
Joni Mitchell sang as we all fell asleep in a heap
Hey ho! 


51 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:08 pm

    ah..sweet Mary. I'm glad to hear she is a bit better after that unsettling episode. It is difficult to see them become more frail. Joni... I have always loved her -a brilliant songwriter....her voice does not carry quite the crispness and flexibility of her youth...but the depth of her voice remains breathtaking., it's just different. But aren't we all, from what we *were*?
    Susan M/ Calif.

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  2. Anonymous8:14 pm

    😢 Lee

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  3. Sending gentle hugs to Mary. Frightening for you all. I'm glad she's a little better, for now... xx

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  4. Anonymous8:19 pm

    This sentence killed me
    “ She looked tired and had a wee on the living room carpet”
    Hugs

    Keith

    Xx

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    1. Dear Keith , I sort of knew you’d understand the prose

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  5. She has been so lucky to have you in her life, we all are.

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  6. She still has a will to live, to be with you because you’re giving her your love, you big hearted man xx
    I wish her health and much strength for you John 🩷💐

    Also I want to dedicate this poem to Mary:

    Sergey Esenin
    To Kachalov’s Dog

    Give me your paw, Jim, for good luck.
    I’ve never seen such paws – not ever.
    Let’s sit beneath the moon and bark
    at all this boring, noiseless weather.
    Give me your paw, Jim, for good luck.
    But please, old boy – don’t lick, don’t lick.
    Just try and get this simple thing.
    Friend, you don’t know what life is like,
    and don’t know what it takes to live.
    Your master’s kind and widely known;
    you’ve had so many guests before –
    and, smiling, every one has longed
    to pet you, touch your velvet fur.
    In your dog’s way, you’re bloody handsome,
    with such a kind and trusting face.
    And, needing nobody’s permission,
    just like a drunk, you kiss and kiss.
    Dear Jim, among your guests you’ve had
    some of all sorts, some out of sorts.
    But she – most silent and most sad –
    has she happened to call round, old sport?
    If she does come, I give you a command.
    Since I’ll be gone, please stare into her eyes
    and tenderly, for me, please lick her hand –
    for all my faults – and faults that weren’t my fault.

    Xxx

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  7. Anonymous9:05 pm

    Oh no ! So sad these pets break all our hearts . Sending hugs XBernie

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  8. Anonymous9:20 pm

    Mary 🙏♥️

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  9. Poor Mary, and poor you and Roger. Even when you know they're going downhill, it's still distressing. Take care.

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  10. Sweet Mary. Rest easy dear girl. She wants to be close. I'm glad you are right there with her.
    Take care John. This is never easy, I know.

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  11. Barbara Anne10:44 pm

    Sweet Mary, I know you and none of us are ready to say good-bye to her, but she's had a wonderful life with you and the pack and you're the best human in her world now and always.
    My previous post here seems to have disappeared. Wonder where it went?

    Big hugs!

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  12. oh the pain. There is no anguish like this one. :-(

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  13. Sweet, sweet Mary

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  14. Oh John. How on earth can people not love dogs? Why do they complain when they have an accident in the house? I have been reading old blog posts by a well known blogger and she is complaining about "dog s**t" in her house. I will no longer read her blog! I am glad you are at home with sweet Mary.

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  15. Anonymous1:13 am

    Oh John, I hate this and I’m so sorry.. I’m sending hugs and so much love to you and Mary. Hold on to each other. Carol in Atlanta

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  16. My thoughts go out to you and Mary. She's such a dear companion to you all.

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  17. I think the worst part about watching pets decline is that they don't understand why. Or maybe that's the best part, that they don't know that they are getting older and closer to death. Who knows?
    Please take good care of her and of yourself. Sending hugs to both of you.

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  18. A sad time for you at the moment....thoughts and hugs

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  19. My thoughts are with you both. xx

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  20. So glad you are there to hold her and be with her .Upsetting for all of you. Dear, sweet Mary.

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  21. Glad that you were with her, and your hugs helped her recover.

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  22. Anonymous6:28 am

    Such love and sadness. We’ve been there many times and it never gets easier. I’m holding you and Mary in the light.
    weavinfool

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  23. Each breath is so precious ........

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  24. Carol Caldwell6:34 am

    So sad. Thinking of you.

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  25. Mary D.6:56 am

    Such a sad time, and not easy watching her. All you can do is be a comfort to her! The love you both have for each other will go on forever! Thinking of you both. XX Mary D.

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  26. Oh so distressing for you - and puzzling for the rest incl. poor little Mary.

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  27. Hugs for Mary. I hope she's comfortable now. xx

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  28. Oh, sweet Mary. Sending hugs.

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  29. (((hugs))) to you all xx

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  30. Dear Mary. It's so poignant, knowing what is coming, and holding the light for her as hers fades. Thinking of you all. XX

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  31. Anonymous9:20 am

    How is Mary today X

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  32. Carole R9:37 am

    Oh sweet Mary, bless her. I hope she is a little brighter today. Hugs to you all,even the wild cats! As for Joni, she is wonderful. Her voice is just pure bliss.

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  33. Good on you for the way you lovingly care for her as she does for you.
    Unconditional love.

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  34. You know how to gently comfort her, John, and that's so kind and loving. Your pets are lucky to live with you. and you are lucky to have them, too.

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  35. Yes. Mary is indeed a bit on both sides now. You are giving her exactly what she needs.

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  36. Anonymous1:05 pm

    X
    Alison in Devon x

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  37. Anonymous1:14 pm

    Hope Mary is feeling better!

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  38. Olga had a few fits toward the end of her life. Scary. Mary appreciates all you're doing for her.

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  39. Aww, poor Mary. We are privileged to have older dogs, but they do tear our hearts apart don't they. Something our vet told us as Mavis neared her end was 'better a day too early, than an hour too late'. It's a hard decision to have to make but it's such a necessary one. Sending you and all the furries lots of hugs and love. xx

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  40. This is hard, but she could not be in a better place for this part of her life than with you. Stout heart.

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  41. Thinking of you and Mary. I know you will do everything she needs, but I also remember how tough it is to have to take any/all decisions on their behalf. Hugs. Jxx

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  42. Anonymous6:36 pm

    Sad to hear about Mary. I hope things have stayed calm for her.

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