On Valentine’s Day, the mental health charity “ Calm” shared some important research.
In it, they found that nearly half of men never say “ I love You” to a friend.
The research,co funded by a brewery company, didn’t make it clear that they were talking about male/male relationships exclusively ( I suspect men find it easier to tell a female friend that they love them, and visa versa) but I liked the initiative championed in The Guardian last week, to tell a friend that you love them.❤️
I’ve been reflecting on my own ability to tell my own male friends that I love them, and tonight, as I was quietly sitting with a patient in the wee small hours, I listed my closest male friends and tried to remember if I had shared this simple but vital piece of information with them
Mike, Colin, John H, Nigel, Ben, Marcus, Jim,Mick
Four I had shared my feelings for, sometimes after a drink mind you and four I hadn’t.
But this simple exercise got me to thinking of my female friends , and family, and people who I may not love per se, but whom I think of fondly and with affection.
How many people do we properly share our feelings with?
Answers on a postcard please
I tell my close and favorite family members who keep in touch with their old great aunt. Recently a very special friend to me for years became seriously ill… I told him after many conversations during the crisis as I wanted him to know in case he did not make it. I would know the last thing I told him was that he was loved.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, my mother never once said to me, "I love you" Hard to know why...she was a child of the depression, World War II, hard times, repressed feelings, and perhaps an example of her generation? When she turned 80ish, out of the blue, she told me I was always very much loved. It meant everything. It's never too late. X
ReplyDeleteI come from a very reserved family, certainly my parents never said they loved me/ us kids[and perhaps did not?]. I tell my children and my dog I love them, and long ago I'd tell my now-ex-husband I loved him---he'd say 'so what? who cares, what have you done for me lately?'
ReplyDeleteHow do your friends react to the revelation--pleased or baffled? You're such a warm person.
My parents might have told me once in my life that they loved me but I've never questioned it.
ReplyDeleteI dont think I've ever told a friend I love them but I believe I show up for them when it counts
My wife often asks "Do you love me?", to which I always give the typical male reply "Of course I do!". I suspect this is as far as most men go. Of course I do love her dearly.
ReplyDeleteI would never tell a friend I loved them. I loved Ray, and I very much regret not telling him more often. I do tell my tenants Phyllis and Kosov that I love them, and I do, kind of like children, but I don't have authority over what they do.
ReplyDelete