My shoulder was aching at work today and I asked a member of staff if she could rub it for me.
This she kindly did with some banter talk about her regular masseuse and boy did her hands feel good and my aches felt better after she had finished.
Apart from hugs at Sioned’s leaving do, I can’t think of when I last felt someone’s hands on me.
It’s a sobering thought
I miss hand holding and phyicality and everything in between
I am resolved to book myself with a local therapist
Your post resonated with me. I get Osteopathic manipulative treatments, which are much gentler than they sound, and one day I thought the same.....that this is the only time someone actually touches me, unless my grandkids or kids give me a quick hug. It's sobering.
ReplyDeleteAnd painful x
DeleteWe all need a human touch once in a while. A deep, relaxing massage sounds good. Let all your cares and aches be soothed away. xx
ReplyDeleteI can’t wait
DeleteI'm getting up to give my husband a hug right now...as I head into the kitchen to mash the potatoes.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sending you a virtual one.
ReplyDeleteCan he give me one too?
DeleteI know the feeling! I used to have a coworker who was really unselfconscious about touching others (in a totally non-threatening and appropriate way). So if he noticed that I was favoring my neck, he would ask if I wanted a back rub. It was so nice to have an opposite sex friend who just didn't give it a thought.
ReplyDeleteNow retired, and since the pandemic more alone than is good for me.
And your post reminded me how helpful a massage would be.
Nina
I can understand why some people with questionable barriers can make many mistakes in this area
DeleteThere are many benefits of massage. I'm glad you are booking in.
ReplyDeleteHope it helps, John.
ReplyDeleteNo happy ending but that’s ok
DeleteI am 64
ReplyDeleteA lesbian living in New York
Single
4 30 years
Don’t ask me when I was “ touched” last
Lee🙁
lol I won’t
DeleteAmen. Preaching to the choir John. If my grandchildren and children didn't hug me now and again I would never ever be touched. A hand to hold .....now that's a Xmas wish I make every year..........X
ReplyDeleteGin soon!??
DeleteMe too .
ReplyDelete"Skin hunger," it's a real thing.
ReplyDeleteI remember an elderly single woman who lived alone once telling me how much she valued sharing the Peace at church every Sunday because it was the only time she had physical contact with other humans. Living as I did with a husband and two young children, that brought me up short.
ReplyDeleteI miss it too. It's been a long time, would like to experience it again.
ReplyDeleteThis struck home; I too cannot remember when someone rubbed my back or touched me other than a formal handshake.
ReplyDeletePre-Covid, in France we always shook hands with everyone, or gave small kisses. Then it was banned. Now it's back to normal, but during those few years everything felt very strange and impersonal. Touching is important.
ReplyDeleteI love a foot massage! It's so relaxing and warming. I agree that we really need human touch. As well as the cuddles with our pets.
ReplyDeleteI'm married and live with my husband but he would rather put his hands in hot coals than touch me. After he had a stroke he decided I was far too old to expect any sort of touch or tenderness. It's been 7 years now.
ReplyDeleteMy mum and brothers seemed to have some kind of contempt for my dad. Hugging him goodbye one day, it occurred to me that it was the only physical contact he had with someone else.
ReplyDeleteTouch is indeed important, and must be one of the worst of the deprivations of prisoners. But, since Covid, there is also the deprivation of conversation for many elderly folk. I try to look the elderly in the eye and smile as I do the supermarket shop, and there are a few who seek conversation in our local cafe. Loneliness is a voracious beast. I'm fortunate to have a couple of friends who are "huggers", and also belong to a church where touching is ritualised. A therapeutic massage will do you the world of good John.
ReplyDeleteI don't know when I last held hands.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your massage.
Sending a virtual ((hug)).
ReplyDeleteThe chiropractor we always went to retired a couple of months ago...I miss the physical contact as much as the de-crinkling. And finding someone on the same wavelength...that you can trust.. isn't easy.
Enjoy that massage.
The only human contact I have in a day would be with the supermarket cashier. I refuse to use self serve as I would miss saying, have a good one, to the cashier. I did cash in our stores and now that I am retired will not work without pay for the grocery store! Those cashiers need their jobs. I miss those good night hugs and kisses from my husband, they were wonderful, now I get a couple of hugs a year from my one daughter when she visits, it’s just not enough. Do go for that massage, John, you deserve it. Gigi
ReplyDeleteIf we could, we would gather for a giant group hug.
ReplyDeleteI am the complete opposite and do not like to be touched or hugged. Huggers think there is something wrong but we need to remember that we are all different and don't assume everyone "needs a hug" - yuk!
ReplyDeleteI used to be a really touchy, freely person who distributed hugs left, right and centre. Now, after having been on my own for 12 + years with very little physical contact, anyone touching or hugging me feels wrong and makes me very uncomfortable. I’ve gone from craving it to avoiding it.
ReplyDeleteI realize how lucky I am in that my husband and I hug each other several times a day. It is important to each of us, I think. My children are all huggers and some of my grandchildren are. Not all of them and I respect that. But you are right- as a species, we do need that connection. Hand holding can be as powerful, if not more so, than certain sexual encounters.
ReplyDeleteI'm just catching up. I read your "Last Offices", both the elderly gentleman and you were lucky to have had that older nurse. I always say a prayer for a patient's soul when they die.
ReplyDeleteA massage is an excellent idea. I have a monthly massage and it is the best thing I do for myself.
My husband pass away a little over 2 years ago. I miss his hugging me in bed at night or just reaching over to rub my chest. I'm a nurse also, sometimes after along day at work a foot message. The best! Now the only hugs at church on Sundays and my sisters say hello or goodbye.
ReplyDeleteI look at your blog at least once a week. This was a great post.
Just don't hold out too much hope for a good experience, you may feel great having the actual massage but could leave feeling more lonely than ever. Massages are good for treating the body but aren't a substitute for touch from a loved one.
ReplyDelete