As Good As It Gets


Kindness abounds
“ Does the fact you have cats now fill the lonely void in your life?”
It was a question in the comments of yesterday’s post.
The slightly wry one ( or as I thought) about Roger’s dimness.
The comment as the one before it was meant to upset.

Loneliness, I can tell you is like grief and in the same way  it kind of hits you in waves when you least expect it. 
It’s only surfaces sporadically, and not always when you are alone and the nearest I can explain it is how Helen Hunt’s waitress Carol explains it in James L Brooks’ As Good As It Gets.

Her performance is sublime, the writing spot on.

41 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:54 pm

    I can’t for the life of me, wonder what is the problem with anonymous, that he/she feels that they have to write nasty hurtful comments on your blog. Haven’t they anything better going on in their life? Gigi

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  2. Anonymous8:57 pm

    I feel for Roger! Everyone thinking of him as dim! I have known many humans called dim/ stupid/ backward but with more common sense than y many people with university degrees! They can also have more empathy than many of the population, please let both your dogs decide for themselves and work out their thoughts as most of us do! Good luck to all and peaceful living 🙏🤔

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    Replies
    1. He’s dim, wonderfully sweet and lovable
      Don’t feel for him, he’s well looked after and loved deeply

      Delete
  3. Yorkshire Liz9:18 pm


    Bullies like dear Anonymous accuse others - people they recognise as kinder, nicer, better, more loved and loving than they are themselves - and so are jealous of them, because of all the faults they themselves possess, and are only too aware of in themselves. So they attempt to put their own curdled souls onto the better souls they want to become because it makes them feel better.. It is a weird sort of inverted compliment. From someone pitiful and very sad. But still not deserving of sympathy!

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  4. In my top ten of films.....and if I didn't get hugs and kisses from my grandaughters I'd never be touched or held.....and these last few grief filled years have mixed and mingled my loneliness into a state of being that is existing not living....so I get it John...I truly do x

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    Replies
    1. I know you do libby, I haven’t forgotten that gin meet xx

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    2. I get it too Libby, grief, loneliness and existing these last few years, only I have no granddaughters, or hugs.

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    3. Anonymous5:19 pm

      I know how you fell….i too long for some tender touch and person around. So tired of being lonely

      Delete
  5. He man9:46 pm

    Don't you think that publicising and making a big thing of Anon's comments is exactly what they desire? Why give them the satisfaction? You have a Delete button.

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    Replies
    1. I do indeed , today I felt like agreeing

      Delete
  6. Anonymous10:03 pm

    Roger? dim? I think not, just very easy and loveable in disposition. Of course the Welsh know something is *up*.....they will do well..... and you will likely be laughing, alternately tearing out your hair ..and all other things that come with these companions! Susan M/ Calif.

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    Replies
    1. All young dogs are dim in my experience , like toddlers

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  7. Anonymous10:41 pm

    That is a movie that ripped me. I remember that scene so well. I shed so many tears watching that movie. Jean in Winnipeg

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes we all say to ourselves , is this is as good as it gets ? When you say yes, pray you are happy

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  8. One of my favorite movies.
    I worry about my son and my heart breaks thinking of him being alone.

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  9. It is hard to understand why some people get a kick out of being unkind and rubbing salt into other people's wounds and tender spots.

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  10. Individuals that choose to be nasty and hurtful have the problem. They are so unhappy they go on the attack and just alienate themselves further. It is a vicious cycle. Attacking is hurtful to the target and the attacker who is feeling lonely, unloved and sometimes jealous.

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  11. Anonymous12:15 am

    We had a dog, now gone to his reward, who was indeed dim. He would turn over the trash and start to dig in and then realize that we were RIGHT THERE and remember that was a bad thing. Poor guy could never anticipate. But we had pet rabbits and he would let them gradually edge him off his cushion so as to have the warm spot to sleep in, and not object when they crowded him away from his bowl. Not fearful, just agreeable. Dim.

    cheers, and hope you have a nice weekend.

    Ceci

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    Replies
    1. Happy dim is different
      On reflection William was that , a gentleman dog who loved everyone

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  12. Son adopted from the shelter he works at an older black cat sister and brother, best friends ever. They made even with my massive feline allergies, learn to adore not just like, Cats. Good friends are good friends.
    woof !

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  13. Just in case you missed it
    John, about 3 days ago
    Weaver (Pat) left a comment asking if you could get her a photo of her namesake(kitten)s?
    -Mary

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  14. Some people are just vile, they have no idea how some of us feel inside, and certainly have no empathy for others.
    I like the wall hangings that say, ''l like cats more than people.' Yes of course there are lots of lovely, kind people out there, but sadly lots of the other sort. You yourself refer to Roger as dim, in an affectionate way, but he's not really. Animals are smart , clever and born to survive. Roger is still young, learning new things, facing new experiences, adventures and most of all happy and enjoying life. He's carefree, youthful and full of energy. (Wish I still was!) No, I don't know him, but I adopted two kittens in January, the boy was nervous whilst the girl was friendly straight away, and licked my hand on first meeting. Now they are both loving and friendly and make my house a home. It's wonderful watching them play and learn. The way you speak of Roger makes me think of my little girl. From the start she has been adventurous, racing around, rushing into things, fearless, playing like crazy without a care in the world. She's made me laugh at her antics and the joy she feels. Sometimes I've called her my crazy kitty, but boy she is alert, fast, clever, and quick to learn.
    Enjoy your pets, family and friends, stuff the vile people out there. Yes I know it's easy to say and harder to do believe me, but know you are a better person than they will ever be.
    Jean.

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    Replies
    1. Someone who “ gets it” finally
      You get my take on the world.
      I have a way of attaching a personality to a person a dog, a hen etc
      Trendy Carol isn’t that trendy but it stuck in my mind that she was
      Roger isn’t that dim, he’s just dim
      You get it x

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  15. I'm sorry if my comment about Roger upset you. I meant dim in the nicest way. He's lovable, curious, friendly, gentle and will make a great playmate for the twins, but from what I can gather, he's no Einstein, but then how many of us are? Certainly not me. xx

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    1. Phew! Thanks, I'd be mortified if I thought I'd upset you. I'm more a cat person than a dog person, but Roger might be able to persuade me otherwise! xx

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  16. My Roger lookalikie is like a whirlwind and doesn't have chance to think things through - only the immediate - whereas I can see the thoughts of the others x

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    1. Young dogs don’t process much they often just react

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  17. MarisAna5:47 am

    Sometimes it can feel as if grief and loneliness stalk us, and suddenly attack at a low or unexpected moment and the pain is sharp. It does come in waves. Your clip describes it so well.

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    Replies
    1. I thought the writing but also hunt’s interpretation wonderfully accurate

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    2. This is such an elegant and accurate description. Wow.

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  18. That clip really hits home doesn't it.

    Loneliness isn't just mental it is physical as well.

    Sending an ear scritch to Roger...a loving hound xx

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  19. Alan has always said that our Mavis is 'as dim as a rocking horse', but I love the very bones of her. She taught me patience in my dog training, each command took on average two weeks to sink in. But now they are all still locked in that adorable brain and she can still understand 'round and round' something none of my other dogs ever picked up ... or needed to. And she still winks back at me when I wink at her.

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  20. Do I need to watch this movie, do you think?

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  21. I still find it amazing and appalling anyone would say such a mean thing to another.

    I remember a patient telling me ' loneliness make simple problems feel tragic and my problems are simple old lady problems that wouldn't feel so tragic if I had visitors"

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes