Well surprise surprise
Patrick’s life turned out far too complicated for one Welshman to want to deal with .
I’m not saying much more but suffice to say young children and a wife are involved.
I wished him well today, and he did the same to me
He wasn’t surprised
This has happened before no doubt
And I would suggest will happen again
Complicated always means someone eventually getting hurt
Don’t post platitudes about finding the right person please
I’m fine just slightly disappointed
This video reminded myself of me
It’s a bad habit I’ve always done in pet stores
A red flag for some no doubt
Well, as you said, disappointing but on the other hand, you cound have a meet-for-lunch friend now. Maybe?
ReplyDeleteWhat funny things you find onn-line!
Hugs!
I have enough friends Babs xx
DeleteI agree, John. Recently come out, ex-wife, young kids -- too much sturm und drang. I always tried to avoid those situations too.
ReplyDeleteI agree too much sturm und drang
DeleteHahahahahah ..... that made me laugh ! I think I would like him .... he obviously has a great sense of humour !
ReplyDeleteAs for relationships, all part of it especially second/third//fourth relationships as they nearly always bring baggage which makes it all very difficult. XXXX
It used to send my ex bananas when I did it
DeleteClose call John but onwards in your inimitable way. Some folks are too complicated!! Love to you and the dogs. Jan in Castle Gresley
ReplyDeleteI think quite succinctly you have said exactly the right thing , some folks ARE just too complicated
DeleteSigh. Oh well. Good for you for letting that one go on his merry way. Life's too short for drama. xx
ReplyDeleteYes jennifer, I had a relationship once that centred around drama…it was addictive but exhausting
DeleteDating is like a job search or Russian Roulette. Spin the wheel and anything can happen. You learned all you need to know on date #2.
ReplyDeleteYes, and he was very accepting of it
DeleteDoes his wife know? (nothing to say she is an ex!). Why do some people behave like this?
ReplyDeleteNo blame here, just a little disappointment , some people lead complicated lives
DeleteToo complicated for me to be a part of
Hopefully one day one of his many attempted 'flings' will inform his wife. I know I would want to know and sooner rather than later. I'm not for one minute saying it has to be you, but someone has to speak up.
ReplyDeleteMy 'thing', and it was my Dad's too, is pressing all the 'Press Me' buttons on singing, dancing Christmas cuddlys. Now I'll be on the look out for squishy chickens to add to my repertoire. 😀
I think he wife is aware he’s gay,.but she like many of us can fantasise things
DeleteI wasn't so much thinking of the being gay part, more of his ongoing need to cheat on her. Perhaps though she can cope with both things. Everyone else's life is just that isn't it, theirs ... well until they try and bring other people into it as he did.
DeleteDating at our age always seems to come with baggage! And I'm not saying I have none!! Last guy I dated for a few months turned out to be bi polar (not an issue in itself as he was stable on his meds ) but he admitted he had stalked an ex partner and had been arrested for it. He disclosed this to me after going to 'have words' with his daughter's ex partner and that the police might come looking for him at my house! Too much drama for me!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, we all have baggage , I’d like to think I’m here because of something I didn’t do
DeleteI like pressing buttons too but I've never tried hugging them all. I shall have to try that.
ReplyDeleteNor have I , I do like grabbing a selection of different tones at once
DeleteI feel badly for you but also with him if he feels he has to live his life as a lie.
ReplyDeleteIs it a lie? His wife knows he’s gay, it’s just a series of decisions , directions that not be most logical to me anyway
DeleteOh, well, hmmmm. Have no words for that!
DeleteDuplicitous is the word that comes to my mind. He KNEW what he was doing but chose to mislead you. Sorry to you, shame on him.
DeleteYou dodged a bullet John. Hey ho.
ReplyDeleteYes
DeleteThe older we get, sweetheart, the more we find life is full of rubber chickens. What more can I say?
ReplyDeleteAnd me like Winnie loves a real rubber chicken
DeleteBetter to get out now than to get sucked into that vortex. What a shame. So, you're one of those people I always walk away from in pet stores. (Although, god would I love to do that!)
ReplyDeleteI always weigh out decisions carefully . Sometimes I wish I could be more spontaneous…in this case I’m glad
DeleteSo pleased he told you now and not later down the line. It enabled you to make an informed decision on what was right for you my friend. Disappointing but bra straps and all that. Onwards and upwards L X
ReplyDeleteStraps up
DeleteSitting on the porch with Tim ..your October 29th post,I mentioned that I'd read about your life for years and thought you'd do well to adopt a cat,let that balance your life and then decide whether or not to begin a new relationship.
ReplyDeleteNow I will add a bit of info you likely know
Cats smell fear - in
Patrick's situation he likely
has felt afraid of being caught, I'm just wondering if a cat would have have given you a feeling that something wasn't right
Anyway ,I wish you only happiness and peace going forward, Mary
More food for thought
DeleteI admire you for letting the red flag(s) make things black and white for you, and getting out before shit happens. I've never had the sense to do that.
ReplyDeleteI’m too old not to follow my red flags
DeleteI’d be foolish not to
DeleteOh, bugger! But at least you found out before you'd invested too much time, energy and emotion. As for the video, sometimes the temptation is just TOO great to resist! xx
ReplyDeleteI wish him well, but the whole situation is fraught
DeleteI hope you were kind to him
DeleteOf course I was
DeleteSome of us are shit-magnets x
ReplyDeleteNot sure what people are eating!
DeleteMave I’m worried that you maybe right
DeleteWill resist the urge to order a huge number of those chickens
ReplyDeleteDon’t ….I love that it of anarchy
DeleteYes, I think that must have been pretty much how you felt when he told you.
ReplyDeleteWell snippets of self come in conversation, in this case they just built up
DeleteWell dodged, Drama is best saved for a decent film or play x
ReplyDeleteYou question yourself and your own role in this potential disaster
DeleteAs all decent people would, But you can't make decisions about facts you don't know. How could this ever be your fault? Look after yourself x
DeleteI am deArheart
DeleteGood! x
DeleteBut at least he told you early on x
ReplyDeleteIndeed,flis, you are right
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteWE do indeed all have baggage, especially at our age. The secret is to make your baggage a matching Gucci set! ;-)
ReplyDeleteNicely put, the best reply of the night
DeleteI think he was as honest as he could manage. Told you enough to know it's not on. Sounds okay to me.
ReplyDeleteI do wonder why people assume his wife isn't aware. Some people have open marriages. She might also be just as complicated as he! anyway,good decision on your part.
Yes, I think she does but who. Knows to what extent
DeleteI now don’t need to worry about it
How sad for all concerned.
ReplyDeleteAt least you knew sooner rather than later.
Ho hum...onwards and upwards xx
Indeed….I think I shall be content to be a spinster of the parish
DeleteAn honest caring one
DeleteBut one nevertheless x
DeleteDisappointing
ReplyDeleteIndeed x
DeleteI was closeted until I was 60 and I hurt too many people
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you john for your honesty
Honesty to yourself
Keith
Xx
I’m being selfish and at 61 that’s cool
DeleteSorry it didn't work out, John. Glad he was honest with you and you were honest with him.
ReplyDeleteHe knew it was coming Ellen
DeleteLove the chicken clip lol My one was pressing all the test doorbells in B&Q............... ding dong
ReplyDeleteI’ve done that
DeleteI was just thinking the other day, if a man doesn't drink milk with his cookies, I might walk away. ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck
ReplyDeleteOh you guys and your store conduct! 😂
ReplyDeleteTina from West Oz. Listening to one of the "from the closet" podcasts and something that struck me was when they said, in answer to a question, that no queer or gay person who has their shit together will let you drag them back into the closet by wanting to hide a relationship in public or slot you in behind a hetero one, because it hurts too much. I know you've been there before, but not this time. You're growing and you have your shit together, John. No more hiding for you. May the next possible be equally as smart and funny, and happy to shout his love to the rooftops even louder than a bunch of rubber chickens! Xxx
ReplyDeleteWow, that is a very interesting thought. It is selfish.
DeleteOh dear... he's a long way to go before he will be at his point of balance and ready for an honest-longterm relationship. I had a cousin whose husband told her he was gay when their youngest child was about 6 (3 older kids) and he agreed to stay until the boy was older. When he finally left she was a mess. You don't need that mess.
ReplyDeleteI've never understood anyone (regardless of sexual orientation) who attempts to begin a relationship while they are already in one. If they are not honest enough to own who they are to their significant other, you can expect that they will be just as duplicitous with you. You were right to walk away from that. I know it is disappointing, but Tina is dead right on this one.
ReplyDeletePS: I am sorry.
DeleteOf course you were absolutely right to back off and end it. He very well may love his kids too much to rock his particular boat of family man , no guarantee how wife will react if he moved on.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry it didn't work out but very glad he told you before you became emotionally more involved.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone else. It's a shame but best to know straight away.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that, but I think you made the right choice. And yes, why not get a cat?
ReplyDeleteAvoiding platitudes, there are always rubber chickens to squeeze.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's not cool. Disappointed for you. Thanks for the morning laugh on the chickens though! Reminds me of when Tickle Me Elmo was big. Nothing better than zipping down the aisle and getting every one of those fuzzy red monsters going!
ReplyDeletePatrick is a selfish man, he needs to decide to be a man and make a decision, stay with wife and kids or get out of the closet. It hurts too many people to stay on the fence. You can’t have it both ways, like you said it makes everything too complicated. Good on you for avoiding that mess. You deserve better. Gigi
ReplyDeleteI agree and don't care if his wife knows. They are not living their true lives.
DeleteChildish. Perhaps somebody needs to grow up.
ReplyDeleteOhhh
ReplyDeleteYep. Red flag. Been there. Done them.
And I cackled at your decision of maybe becoming the town's spinster! LOL
XOXO
That's a shame. Although, better to find out now. Xx
ReplyDeleteSince I can't think of anything but platitudes for the first part of your post, I'll just say I enjoyed the TikTok video.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about that, but you know, you don't want to get involved with anyone who's leading a double life. If he's done it before he'll do it again.
ReplyDeleteFor all those saying "he's selfish" and "he should get out of the closet" they obviously haven't had that problem themselves. Even John knows it's not that easy, he didn't emerge from the closet for quite some time. It takes a lot of courage to let your loved ones know.
ReplyDeleteTina in west oz here, absolutely agree and never called him selfish or said he should come out, just that I'd heard advice to a closeted person from other queer people that an out person will likely not want to be in relationship with you if they've done it before because it hurts too much for a relationship to be hidden by someone who loves you. Actually I'm sad for Patrick. John was a catch that he missed out on.
DeleteYou are correct that I have never been in the position of coming out but I do somewhat think i understand how difficult it is. It is selfish however to have a wife and still pursue other unsuspecting gays. As anon said above: no queer or gay person who has their shit together will let you drag them back into the closet by wanting to hide a relationship in public or slot you in behind a hetero one, because it hurts too much.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for walking away 👍❤️
ReplyDelete