A Long Term Relationship

 You never stop learning being a nurse.

Sometimes it’s about drugs, or procedures or conditions or biochemistry 

Mostly it’s all about being human.

I had a patient who was in their 80s. 

He was single, worked hard all of his life and was very much a part of the community in which he grew up in.

He had visitors twice a day. Many the same ones 

Many different . 

Most his age and younger.

All concerned and interested and sometimes emotional.

Some stoic and grey faced 

Others hopeful with arms full of flowers 

All had respect for him, several from childhood.

“ I never married John” he shared once “ I never had a long term relationship “ 

And I nodded, accepting the regret in his voice and the sadness in his words

Then I remembered his visitors . 

The long line of friends that came every day without fail.

“I know what you mean”, I told him “ But you are kind of wrong when you say you haven’t had a long term relationship” 

He stopped short and blinked at me like a mole in a searchlight.

“ As far as I can see you’ve had scores of long term relationships” I said, “your friends from home , and work and Church and school, you have kept and nurtured them for years and years. 

You’ve had a good dozen of them” 

And I was right, and he knew it, and I was right and it was a surprise to me too until that moment.

We may say that  we’ve been unsuccessful in a continuous romantic relationship . But if we have lifelong friends, we have been successful in a whole series of long term relationships. 

Any one that features when the chips are finally down and the fat lady is singing.