Trefor

 


I picked Trefor up around 10 am. 
He’d forgotten I was coming but with a bit of mild panic , he donned a coat, and found his slippers and got into Bluebell with the minimum of supervision.
He’s 99 and looks well.
I brought him up to the TCA Coffee Morning where he could mix with the other grey hairs ( including myself) and chat….he did just that until lunchtime. 
The coffee morning was full  with a good sixty to seventy people there. 
On the way back to his residential home he asked me about my work and college and told me of his days as an electronics technician for the civilian RAF and we gossiped about a neighbour we both have little regard for like old ladies so often do when they are feeling a bit snide.
“ Do you ever hear from your husband ? “ he asked me suddenly as we stopped the car and I told him “ No , not any more” 
He patted my hand with his and smiled 
“ You deserve a lot better” he said in his sing song Welsh accent 
And raised his walking stick in a gesture of farewell 


I love the fact we can and will chat about anything despite the age gap

47 comments:

  1. A wise man. You do deserve better!
    I hope, if I get to be that age, I still have my faculties, too. xx

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    1. Yes, I mentioned the last sentence to reinforce how normal a conversation can be had with someone who was born nearly a century ago.
      How accepting ! How ordinary

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  2. Anonymous12:59 pm

    Two kind worldly men enjoying the moment xx Jan

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  3. What a great guy, and yes, clearly up for an ordinary conversation with a good friend. John, you're a national treasure!

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    1. I think that’s what I wanted to get over, he brought up subjects that may have been difficult for other 99 year old men to initiate

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    2. Anonymous6:00 pm

      On the contrary John, age makes previously difficult subjects acceptable.

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  4. Anonymous1:11 pm

    I loved your interaction with him. I've always had an affinity for the elderly and agree that the conversations can be so different. In the first photo he looks quite like my father who passed in the 1080s.
    Nina

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    1. Did your father contribute to The Norman Conquest Nina? (see the decade date)

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    2. He’s travelled extensively Nina , but only in californina in the States lol

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  5. That was a very nice thing to do John. I hope that that troll commenter doesn't disparage you for your humanity.

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    Replies
    1. Oh I’m sure they will put their heads over the parapet

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  6. Barbara Anne1:26 pm

    Nice of you to offer Trefor a ride and this unexpected pleasure was the result.
    You SO deserve better, you know.
    What a great community you live in!

    Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. Babs no agreement needed it wasn’t the reason for the blog we all deserve better don’t we?

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  7. Trefor was not wrong there; he obviously has all his marbles still - and he looks pretty good for 99.

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    1. He was being kind, and that for a man of his age with upbringing was noticeable

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  8. An enjoyable outing for both of you, John.

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  9. A 60-75 group turn out is excellent. It all looks very enjoyable. Trefor is looking good at 99. He must have loved seeing his friends in the village. Bring people together is always great for all ages.

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    1. I like that there was a mixture of ages there today,

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  10. weaver3:06 pm

    Ah yes John - raking over old grounds (politely called reminiscing) is undoubtedly the chosen theme for the elderly village folk. Just the same here.

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    1. Trefor was born in the village and never, ever, left

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  11. What a lovely neighbor you are, John. And yes, it's great you were able to chat so easily. I agree with Trefor. You DESERVE better than the X. Jo

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    1. Jo it’s past now, Trefor was just being kind I’m sure my husbands friends thought that he could do better

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    2. Anonymous5:21 pm

      That’s kind of you john to say

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  12. Now that is so lovely.

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    1. He’s always been a good neighbour tome and a good friend to the village

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  13. Anonymous4:18 pm

    Hi John, I don’t comment much, but just have to say that I love reading your blog. It is Real. You pull no punches, and share real life stories and emotions… the good, the bad, and the ugly (trolls and all). You are human … and it shows. I admire how you have bounced back from heartbreak, and forged new paths for yourself. You really do inspire me. Your compassion for, and friendship with Trefor is touching. He is right… You deserve better! Cali G

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    1. Sometimes We all deserve better Cali, I’m sure my ex husbands family and friends thought he could do better….things just get polarised don’t they?

      Thank you for your kind words though

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  14. That's quite a good crowd! Like so many of your posts, this is a great little window into village life. As you said, it's great that you and Trefor can talk about such things together. Age is only a number!

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  15. Trefor sounds thoroughly delightful. What nice friends you have in the village, John.

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    Replies
    1. I have a few jennifer…
      Covid reinforced our ties menthinks

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  16. Such an open mind for a 99 year old. Still giving a compliment and not thinking of himself. Thinking of you.

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    Replies
    1. That’s the message of today’s blog
      That’s what moved me

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  17. Anonymous6:32 pm

    This is a heartwarming post. I understand completely. My husband is in his late 60s and his best friend is mid 30s. Jackie

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    1. And I hope I’m the same to gorgeous Dave who is half my age

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    2. Anonymous8:21 pm

      Funny that my husband's best friend is also named Dave! Jackie

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  18. It's what's inside that matters, and that "inside soul" can connect with anyone else's regardless of age. Nicely written, as usual.

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    Replies
    1. Yorkshire Liz7:49 pm

      Short compliments are the sweetest and most meaningful. Trefor really appreciates you. And he was right. You did, and you do, deserve better.

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  19. Trevor sounds a good 'un...and good company.
    That is a heartwarming turnout for a coffee morning. How many people live in Trelawnyd?

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  20. I love when humans 'connect'. Trevor sounds like a Marisol candidate to me.

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  21. Now that's bought a tear to my eye John. It is one of your specialities, in a good way.

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