Other People’s Lives

  I don’t get a lot of rest in Flower Show week.

It’s my second night shift at work and I’ve had broken sleep.
Di from Choir dropped off two jars of jam to be entered as she is away on Friday.
I’ve always relaxed the rules for the benefit of more entries, and am happy to put exhibits in for absent supporters.
I dropped off a cake tin too.
One of the Going Gently characters had asked for it last week and I bumbled into her kitchen like a tubby teenager not initially realizing that she had been crying.
She busied herself inside the pan cupboard and wiped her eyes with her apron.
And I pretended I hadn’t noticed
We talked about the death of Mad Organist of Father Timothy’s recent death ( He was the vicar of nearby Dyserth) and of the Flower Show, of Singing in the Rain and the fact some scrote had stolen two planters of busylizzies that had been donated by the TCA from London road.

As I turned to go I asked her gently if she was alright.
And she nodded bravely through a watery smile
“I will be” she said quietly 

57 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:28 am

    Hugs to her and thanks to you. B.

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    1. Anonymous1:12 pm

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. She was wearing an apron? I hope it wasn't Mrs Trellis.

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  3. You are a kind and gentle friend and much appreciated for it, I'm sure.

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  4. I think your quiet concern would mean a lot to her. I know it would to me. It means she was seen and cared about.

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    1. I understand the Pandora’s box thing.unleashing a monster is scary and not always useful

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  5. Quiet private tears aren't always a cry for help, they can also be tears of pleasure or relief. Of course one never knows. Maybe another random visit in a few days time....

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    1. Indeed cro
      I’m watching Repair shop and I’m starting to fill up already

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  6. Barbara anne4:41 am

    You're a good friend, indeed, John.
    Wishing your aproned friend well.

    Hugs to you both!

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  7. Yorkshire Liz5:48 am

    A day in the life of Trelawnyd, and of John Grey. Bitter sweet, quietly busy and very real. The stuff of life and why we fo!low Going Gently.

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    1. Made more bittersweet by tiredness and jet lag

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  8. 'If it isn't nailed down...'

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  9. I think we all must have moments like that. I know I would be grateful for small talk while I recovered a little, and also the opening to talk about it if I wanted to, and the concern shown in your simple question. I hope things improve for her soon.

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    1. Yes….but being emotional in from of someone you are never usually upset with can be dreadfully embarrassing for both parties.
      I did feel a little embarrassed

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  10. Well done ((0))

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  11. You're a good friend, John. If she wants to talk, you've shown her that you'll be prepared to listen. xx

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  12. Other people's tears often set me off too. I would be no use at offering comfort.

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  13. You helped a lot. Human contact.

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  14. Get some rest, can't wait to hear about the show.

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    1. Oh I will be banging on about it a lot quite soon

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  15. Anonymous12:26 pm

    yes fortunately i know exactly who john is talking about here so i think i'll pop around later and let her know john has raised the alarm on the blog

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    1. Oh I would love to be a fly on the wall if this would ever be true,

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  16. Anonymous12:36 pm

    Anonymous you are a jerk

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  17. Sometimes we never know what others are going through. I am sure you asking her if she was alright was a comfort.

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    1. Being asked is important
      To both perhaps michael

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  18. I'm glad so many take part in the flower show. Glad you were there for your friend, John.

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  19. Anonymous1:14 pm

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  20. It is a hard call sometimes, to know how much comfort a person can handle at an emotional time. I know that I am a person who needs to allow the tears and emotion to settle down a bit before I'm able to handle a talk.

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    1. Some people hate when the mask slips a little no matter how normal and how human it is to be emotional and that needs to be respected
      Pushing people into being touchy feely is patronising and indulgent

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    2. You are exactly right.

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  21. Anonymous1:45 pm

    She knows she can come to you if and when she needs to talk, you gave her an opening. Gigi

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    1. That would never happen, the mask slipped only fir that moment

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  22. Great timing and the right question. You're a good friend.

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    1. You slightly miss the point of the blog entry . It’s not about my response it’s about people all have their own shit , and often you never realise it cos the person in question always shows a public face

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  23. I'm sure your visit was welcome, even if it did break solitary tears. Sometimes we need a bit of 'normal' to bring us back from a place of sadness or sorrow, it can be grounding and very affirmative.

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    1. It was the same feeling you have when you have been told off by a favourite aunt . You feel out of sorts and with your feet whipped from under you.
      If you’ve never seen someone upset before, it’s a shock too

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  24. Lives are complicated and messy. The Flower Show seems to be coming together well and that must be very satisfying.

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    1. And it’s easy to think that people who always seem so level headed , sanguine and sorted have their off days too

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  25. weaver3:53 pm

    one of your skills I admire most is your ability to spot when anything lis wrong with someone.

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    1. We all have skills, it’s important to read when not to ask anything more. Some people are just private.
      The moral of the story is that we all have shit to deal with

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  26. A late comment about another post, 'fill the trolley/basket game', I can't stop laughing about your choices for the late organist. I must try to do this and amuse myself whilst wandering around the supermarket.

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    1. Anonymous4:52 pm

      Yes, like ghosting someone but in a supermarket. Hilarious. Not.

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    2. You could suck the bitterness out of a lemon , how sad

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    3. Anonymous6:58 pm

      ROFL
      Ha ha

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    4. Anonymous8:46 am

      This has happened to my elderly mum, someone putting inappropriate things in her trolley or basket. Unawares she has let the cashier put them through the till and put them in a bag for her. Not realising until she got home. On the last occasion she paid quite a lot of money for items she hadn't chosen. I spoke to a cashier and apparently it's a current "craze" and cashiers aren't allowed to ask "do you really want this" so they put things through the till. My mum is elderly and has been upset with a set back to her independence.
      So no it isn't laughable.

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  27. You are a good soul, John,

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    1. I didn’t do anything jim, I just observed it

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    2. I beg to disagree, you being there and asking her if she was alright was no doubt a comfort to her, however fleeting. :)

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  28. Anonymous7:58 pm

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  29. You're a good friend, John. Watch out for her.

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  30. "One of the Going Gently characters..."

    Ah, but she's the main character, the protagonist, in her own private story, the title of which we may never know. You, John, are the supporting character in that story, and you did just that, you gave support.

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