The Future and another “Happy Birthday”

 


I wrote the previous blog whilst in the library in college.
It’s boring as it is bland.
I picked the dogs up from a friend in Craig Y Don, who had been watched them and we drove into Conwy
Where I had to ask a stranger to hold the dogs when I went into the famous Edward’s Butchers for a chilli Scotch egg. 
In the end I bought a black pudding scotch egg too, and we sat on the quayside and shared them together
Bloody lovely they were too.
I went to Conwy for a think.
From September things will be rather different 
More academia, more need for personal discipline, and some serious self reflection 
Between then and now I have Venice, Barcelona and Rome to enjoy then it’s knuckle down and work
Funny how things can change 
Five years ago, I had retired and was planning to leave the village
Now I’m embarking on a new career and a new direction, a journey which is scary and exciting all mixed together and I’m part of village life more than I’ve ever been.

We sat in a line on a bench. Dorothy to my left, the Welsh to my right.
I kept the chilli scotch egg for myself , but the dogs loved their third each portion with a small bite taken out for me. 
It’s four of us against the world now
And sharing a scotch egg is a luxury only we know how beautiful


We were all late back home after a full tiring day. So much so Dorothy refused to leave the back seat and had to be carried into the cottage. 
I missed choir 
Which was unfortunate
But this video was sent to me by Hattie 
Our choir’s tradition of celebrating everyone’s birthday 

It moved me greatly 
And perfectly ended the day 





74 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:21 pm

    Who made the world?
    Who made the swan, and the black bear?
    Who made the grasshopper?
    This grasshopper, I mean--
    the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
    the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
    who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down --
    who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
    Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
    Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
    I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
    I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
    into the grass, how to kneel in the grass,
    how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields
    which is what I have been doing all day.
    Tell me, what else should I have done?
    Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
    Tell me, what is it you plan to do
    With your one wild and precious life?

    I love poetry and I like the writing of Mary Oliver , your posts often make me think of this one particularly the last 2 lines for you John ...... x Jane

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That’s rather beautiful
      And I understand why you liked the last two lines
      Although my life , could never be described as wild
      Lol

      Delete
  2. Big life changes are always scary and exciting. I know you'll make a great counsellor. Well done you for taking the plunge! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have two years to go, during which I have the opportunity to get straight financially….another goal .

      Delete
  3. So there really is an Edwards Butchers. We buy their meatballs here. Very nice they are too.
    Your future sounds quite inspiring.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It feels real now , and less frightening after today

      Delete
  4. At first I thought you shared the scotch egg with the stranger!?! :)
    But of course, you shared with your dog friends.
    You have lots planned for your future and I hope it all turns out to be a wonderful adventure for you, John.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Share a scotch egg? Are you mad?????
      I’ve sAid this before, but it really feels as though I now have a plan

      Delete
  5. To me John You seem to be a man with great empathy - who could possibly have the key/tools for someone to move forwards with their life positively x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We met students on the present course and ones who have just completed it, the common denominator was imposter syndrome which I found reassuring

      Delete
    2. I think I've heard before that the most successful of people - surgeons /doctors etc have that too ( also famous actors ) x

      Delete
    3. Anonymous12:00 am

      Soetimes I conjecture that the only people who don't have it in some degree are narcissists. :D Tina in west oz

      Delete
  6. If it helps any John... I , a stranger, who knows only what you want me to know... I think you are going the right direction... Big Hugs! deb

    ReplyDelete
  7. Change is always rather scary. But one thing that is constant about life is that nothing ever is permanent.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wishing you all the luck and best wishes for this new phase John. You're a kind soul and i love reading your blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you….I hope it all works as plan xx

      Delete
  9. Barbara Anne8:37 pm

    What a beautiful day, and lovely place to share a treat with the family and to ponder your plans for fun and for your future. Bliss.

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was late home and missed choir but they sent me my own happy birthday video which was delightful

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    2. What magnificent harmony from your choir friends and Jamie, John!! Sweet of hattie to send it, too.

      Hugs!

      Delete
  10. Yes, and they never taste as good as bespoke homemade or professional homemadexx

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  11. Traveller8:55 pm

    This is the type of post you should “pin” if there were a pin option.

    It is reflective and full of optimism - very much forward facing. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous9:03 pm

    OMG THAT’S LIKE WATCHING LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE . How sweet. People love you so very much Mr Gray.

    Ali

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’ve always seem myself as Jonathon Garvey

      Delete
  13. You have an excellent plan. 2 more years of school and then entering your new profession. A friend did exactly what you are doing and after graduation, she set up a private practice with her own office. She was also affiliated with a Psychiatrist and they moved clients between the two.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous9:28 pm

    I was very moved by your post today and also by the choir singing to you. I think you will be an excellent counsellor and will study well because you are interested in what you will be learning. Exciting times ahead and I truly believe that learning is a lifelong process. Catriona

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The choir’s video boosted me on a day I’ve felt genuinely positive about my future .
      Some of me felt that my life was over 5 years ago
      And that thought haunted me until recently
      I feel so much more energised

      Delete
  15. This post is so heartwarming and touching. What a beautiful place to sit, contemplating your plans for the future and sharing a scotch egg with the dogs! And to then receive a beautiful "happy birthday" video from your choir... that brought tears to my eyes. Never, ever doubt that you are loved by many! Onward & upward, John dear!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I forget I have support. Sometimes I bemoan my single status . Sometimes I continue to mourn a marriage
      But I’m incredibly. Lucky

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9:46 pm

      I’m a gay man
      A lurker
      Older than you with a long term partner ( 32 years)
      But I need to tell you that you inspire me “ dearheart”

      Delete
    3. Welcome but no name x

      Delete
  16. Someone I love moved out of my life during Covid. The grief was shocking and ongoing. This quote recently resonated with me. Please delete if inappropriate or off topic. [a metaphor, a point of view only]
    “The biggest mistake we make is that we build our homes in other people. We build those homes and we decorate them with the love and care and respect that makes us feel safe at the end of the day. We invest in other people, and we evaluate our self-worth based on how much those homes welcome us. But what many don’t realize is that when you build your home in other people, you give them the power to make you homeless. When those people walk away, those homes walk away with them, and all of a sudden, we feel empty because everything that we had within us, we put into them. We trusted someone else with pieces of us. The emptiness we feel doesn’t mean we have nothing to give, or that we have nothing within us. It’s just that we built our home in the wrong place.”
    ― Najwa Zebian, Welcome Home: A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barbara Anne11:36 pm

      Well said.
      Wishing your well, Lizzy D.

      Hugs!

      Delete
    2. Lizzy that resonated with me totally…and moved me greatly.
      I think I should add that like in every grief, separation grief has no where to go, but unlike a death grief, it has no status no value no respect.
      It’s taken me 5 years to feel more comfortable with my grief and to accept it.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous2:33 pm

      5 years to feel more comfortable but not yet over it. While you still shed tears and feel sadness over the Prof you're not over it.

      Delete
  17. You'll be an excellent counselor, my friend. All the qualities, empathy, sympathy, willingness to learn, and within reason, not judgmental.
    I'm grilling a large black cod, sablefish, tonight, with a garlic butter sauce. Wish you were here in the heat to enjoy it with me and my son, daughter and grands.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds wonderful Mike xx one day I hope we will meet xx

      Delete
  18. Oh that was such a nice thing for the choir to do. Happy birthday, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes’it seemed to have been celebrated a few times now

      Delete
  19. Anonymous12:48 am

    Although my late husband was Scottish, I have never seen a Scotch egg. They sound like something I would enjoy! The choir’s birthday wishes was a nice touch. GG

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Order one online GG go one,you won’t be disappointed

      Delete
  20. A musical birthday card from your choir -- beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  21. What a very nice video. It sounds as if you and the dogs celebrated in the best way possible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had to decide whether or not I was finally going to GO FOR IT , I guess I decided

      Delete
  22. Anonymous4:56 am

    Do you ever worry you’ve made life in that village sound so enticing that some of us might want to MOVE there? I must confess to having Googled it on Rightmove more than once….

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is a cottage for sale on London road but it needs some work

      Delete
  23. Lovely post and beautiful Happy Birthday from the choir.

    ReplyDelete
  24. The best birthday card you could receive. So much love... and kindness. I still can't wrap my head around Scotch eggs, but then that just means more for you. You are going to be amazing in your new career.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Try one….you will be hooked..infact many Spanish dishes are made in a similar way

      Delete
  25. Yorkshire Liz9:08 am

    How wonderful was that? Birthday greetings personal and so very special, and that subtle beauty in the sound that declares the choir as WELSH! I will be in Flintshire this weekend, I should have booked a performance! God bless you, John. Your new life is, and will continue to be, a great success and a very special new adventure. Onwards and upwards, my lad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will wave at you if you pass the village x

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    2. Yorkshire Liz7:16 am

      I would not pass! Would leave Scotch eggs and dog treats on the step under the honeysuckle. Sadly, not coming as far as Trelawnyd, just to Hawarden for a weekend at Gladstone's Library.

      Delete
  26. The choir sounds wonderful, what a lovely surprise for you. I love that you make your plans but you are always flexible to change them, move them around and completely re-evaluate them if the need arises ... and always your furry family are along for the ride, scotch eggs at the ready.

    You can't beat sitting on the quayside at Conwy with your furry family putting your mind in order can you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You must know the quayside very well

      Delete
  27. You, the digs and some scotch eggs at the beach sounds pretty good to me.

    ReplyDelete
  28. weaver10:07 am

    moved me to tears too John. What a lucky chap you are to live in a village where everyone loves you as much as you love them. A new chapter awaits and who know what that will bring. Much love x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh there’s a couple who dislike me for sure, well I can think of one certainly lol

      Delete
  29. Anyone who is in Conwy should stop by that shop, it is delightful. There is a great hotel across the street. Sounds like a productive day.

    ReplyDelete
  30. What a great video! I laughed at the mental image of an exhausted Dorothy being carried into the cottage. Such a drama queen. (Her, not you -- at least in this case.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She’s a dreadful diva , you could have seen her today , it was showerday

      Delete
  31. Nothing like a choir singing you happy birthday. Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I found it rather moving. We sing it to Georgian chant

      Delete
  32. Anonymous3:00 pm

    I thought the choir singing Happy Birthday was beautiful and knocks the socks of my family screeching out the same song which tbh you never would know lol. Dorothy reminded me of a story I once heard about Ariande Grande who insisted on being carried to and from the stage when performing so maybe Dorothy is channelling her inner Ariande!

    Lesley xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bulldogs drop when they tire and are not stupid like other dogs , they don’t over do it.
      We spent a long afternoon out , which wasn’t her normal routine

      Delete

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