I wrote the previous blog whilst in the library in college.
It’s boring as it is bland.
I picked the dogs up from a friend in Craig Y Don, who had been watched them and we drove into Conwy
Where I had to ask a stranger to hold the dogs when I went into the famous Edward’s Butchers for a chilli Scotch egg.
In the end I bought a black pudding scotch egg too, and we sat on the quayside and shared them together
Bloody lovely they were too.
I went to Conwy for a think.
From September things will be rather different
More academia, more need for personal discipline, and some serious self reflection
Between then and now I have Venice, Barcelona and Rome to enjoy then it’s knuckle down and work
Funny how things can change
Five years ago, I had retired and was planning to leave the village
Now I’m embarking on a new career and a new direction, a journey which is scary and exciting all mixed together and I’m part of village life more than I’ve ever been.
We sat in a line on a bench. Dorothy to my left, the Welsh to my right.
I kept the chilli scotch egg for myself , but the dogs loved their third each portion with a small bite taken out for me.
It’s four of us against the world now
And sharing a scotch egg is a luxury only we know how beautiful
We were all late back home after a full tiring day. So much so Dorothy refused to leave the back seat and had to be carried into the cottage.
I missed choir
Which was unfortunate
But this video was sent to me by Hattie
Our choir’s tradition of celebrating everyone’s birthday
It moved me greatly
And perfectly ended the day
Who made the world?
ReplyDeleteWho made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean--
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down --
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?
I love poetry and I like the writing of Mary Oliver , your posts often make me think of this one particularly the last 2 lines for you John ...... x Jane
That’s rather beautiful
DeleteAnd I understand why you liked the last two lines
Although my life , could never be described as wild
Lol
Big life changes are always scary and exciting. I know you'll make a great counsellor. Well done you for taking the plunge! xx
ReplyDeleteI have two years to go, during which I have the opportunity to get straight financially….another goal .
DeleteSo there really is an Edwards Butchers. We buy their meatballs here. Very nice they are too.
ReplyDeleteYour future sounds quite inspiring.
It feels real now , and less frightening after today
DeleteAt first I thought you shared the scotch egg with the stranger!?! :)
ReplyDeleteBut of course, you shared with your dog friends.
You have lots planned for your future and I hope it all turns out to be a wonderful adventure for you, John.
Share a scotch egg? Are you mad?????
DeleteI’ve sAid this before, but it really feels as though I now have a plan
To me John You seem to be a man with great empathy - who could possibly have the key/tools for someone to move forwards with their life positively x
ReplyDeleteWe met students on the present course and ones who have just completed it, the common denominator was imposter syndrome which I found reassuring
DeleteI think I've heard before that the most successful of people - surgeons /doctors etc have that too ( also famous actors ) x
DeleteSoetimes I conjecture that the only people who don't have it in some degree are narcissists. :D Tina in west oz
DeleteI agree
DeleteIf it helps any John... I , a stranger, who knows only what you want me to know... I think you are going the right direction... Big Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteThank u x
DeleteChange is always rather scary. But one thing that is constant about life is that nothing ever is permanent.
ReplyDeleteAin’t that the truth x
DeleteWishing you all the luck and best wishes for this new phase John. You're a kind soul and i love reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you….I hope it all works as plan xx
DeleteWhat a beautiful day, and lovely place to share a treat with the family and to ponder your plans for fun and for your future. Bliss.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
I was late home and missed choir but they sent me my own happy birthday video which was delightful
DeleteWhat magnificent harmony from your choir friends and Jamie, John!! Sweet of hattie to send it, too.
DeleteHugs!
Yes, and they never taste as good as bespoke homemade or professional homemadexx
ReplyDeleteThis is the type of post you should “pin” if there were a pin option.
ReplyDeleteIt is reflective and full of optimism - very much forward facing. Love it!
I feel so much brighter today
DeleteOMG THAT’S LIKE WATCHING LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE . How sweet. People love you so very much Mr Gray.
ReplyDeleteAli
I’ve always seem myself as Jonathon Garvey
DeleteYou have an excellent plan. 2 more years of school and then entering your new profession. A friend did exactly what you are doing and after graduation, she set up a private practice with her own office. She was also affiliated with a Psychiatrist and they moved clients between the two.
ReplyDeleteI was very moved by your post today and also by the choir singing to you. I think you will be an excellent counsellor and will study well because you are interested in what you will be learning. Exciting times ahead and I truly believe that learning is a lifelong process. Catriona
ReplyDeleteThe choir’s video boosted me on a day I’ve felt genuinely positive about my future .
DeleteSome of me felt that my life was over 5 years ago
And that thought haunted me until recently
I feel so much more energised
This post is so heartwarming and touching. What a beautiful place to sit, contemplating your plans for the future and sharing a scotch egg with the dogs! And to then receive a beautiful "happy birthday" video from your choir... that brought tears to my eyes. Never, ever doubt that you are loved by many! Onward & upward, John dear!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I forget I have support. Sometimes I bemoan my single status . Sometimes I continue to mourn a marriage
DeleteBut I’m incredibly. Lucky
I’m a gay man
DeleteA lurker
Older than you with a long term partner ( 32 years)
But I need to tell you that you inspire me “ dearheart”
Welcome but no name x
DeleteSomeone I love moved out of my life during Covid. The grief was shocking and ongoing. This quote recently resonated with me. Please delete if inappropriate or off topic. [a metaphor, a point of view only]
ReplyDelete“The biggest mistake we make is that we build our homes in other people. We build those homes and we decorate them with the love and care and respect that makes us feel safe at the end of the day. We invest in other people, and we evaluate our self-worth based on how much those homes welcome us. But what many don’t realize is that when you build your home in other people, you give them the power to make you homeless. When those people walk away, those homes walk away with them, and all of a sudden, we feel empty because everything that we had within us, we put into them. We trusted someone else with pieces of us. The emptiness we feel doesn’t mean we have nothing to give, or that we have nothing within us. It’s just that we built our home in the wrong place.”
― Najwa Zebian, Welcome Home: A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul
Well said.
DeleteWishing your well, Lizzy D.
Hugs!
Lizzy that resonated with me totally…and moved me greatly.
DeleteI think I should add that like in every grief, separation grief has no where to go, but unlike a death grief, it has no status no value no respect.
It’s taken me 5 years to feel more comfortable with my grief and to accept it.
5 years to feel more comfortable but not yet over it. While you still shed tears and feel sadness over the Prof you're not over it.
DeleteI’m fine.
DeleteOh my heart.
ReplyDelete❤️
DeleteYou'll be an excellent counselor, my friend. All the qualities, empathy, sympathy, willingness to learn, and within reason, not judgmental.
ReplyDeleteI'm grilling a large black cod, sablefish, tonight, with a garlic butter sauce. Wish you were here in the heat to enjoy it with me and my son, daughter and grands.
Sounds wonderful Mike xx one day I hope we will meet xx
DeleteOh that was such a nice thing for the choir to do. Happy birthday, my friend.
ReplyDeleteYes’it seemed to have been celebrated a few times now
DeleteAlthough my late husband was Scottish, I have never seen a Scotch egg. They sound like something I would enjoy! The choir’s birthday wishes was a nice touch. GG
ReplyDeleteOrder one online GG go one,you won’t be disappointed
DeleteA musical birthday card from your choir -- beautiful!
ReplyDeleteYes it was lovely
DeleteWhat a very nice video. It sounds as if you and the dogs celebrated in the best way possible.
ReplyDeleteI had to decide whether or not I was finally going to GO FOR IT , I guess I decided
DeleteDo you ever worry you’ve made life in that village sound so enticing that some of us might want to MOVE there? I must confess to having Googled it on Rightmove more than once….
ReplyDeleteThere is a cottage for sale on London road but it needs some work
DeleteLovely post and beautiful Happy Birthday from the choir.
ReplyDeleteYes it was very kind of them
DeleteThe best birthday card you could receive. So much love... and kindness. I still can't wrap my head around Scotch eggs, but then that just means more for you. You are going to be amazing in your new career.
ReplyDeleteTry one….you will be hooked..infact many Spanish dishes are made in a similar way
DeleteHow wonderful was that? Birthday greetings personal and so very special, and that subtle beauty in the sound that declares the choir as WELSH! I will be in Flintshire this weekend, I should have booked a performance! God bless you, John. Your new life is, and will continue to be, a great success and a very special new adventure. Onwards and upwards, my lad.
ReplyDeleteI will wave at you if you pass the village x
DeleteI would not pass! Would leave Scotch eggs and dog treats on the step under the honeysuckle. Sadly, not coming as far as Trelawnyd, just to Hawarden for a weekend at Gladstone's Library.
DeleteThe choir sounds wonderful, what a lovely surprise for you. I love that you make your plans but you are always flexible to change them, move them around and completely re-evaluate them if the need arises ... and always your furry family are along for the ride, scotch eggs at the ready.
ReplyDeleteYou can't beat sitting on the quayside at Conwy with your furry family putting your mind in order can you.
You must know the quayside very well
DeleteYou, the digs and some scotch eggs at the beach sounds pretty good to me.
ReplyDeleteIt was a contemplative day all told
Deletemoved me to tears too John. What a lucky chap you are to live in a village where everyone loves you as much as you love them. A new chapter awaits and who know what that will bring. Much love x
ReplyDeleteOh there’s a couple who dislike me for sure, well I can think of one certainly lol
DeleteAnyone who is in Conwy should stop by that shop, it is delightful. There is a great hotel across the street. Sounds like a productive day.
ReplyDeleteAhhh you remember it well
DeleteWhat a great video! I laughed at the mental image of an exhausted Dorothy being carried into the cottage. Such a drama queen. (Her, not you -- at least in this case.)
ReplyDeleteShe’s a dreadful diva , you could have seen her today , it was showerday
DeleteNothing like a choir singing you happy birthday. Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteI found it rather moving. We sing it to Georgian chant
DeleteI thought the choir singing Happy Birthday was beautiful and knocks the socks of my family screeching out the same song which tbh you never would know lol. Dorothy reminded me of a story I once heard about Ariande Grande who insisted on being carried to and from the stage when performing so maybe Dorothy is channelling her inner Ariande!
ReplyDeleteLesley xx
Bulldogs drop when they tire and are not stupid like other dogs , they don’t over do it.
DeleteWe spent a long afternoon out , which wasn’t her normal routine