Once you are on a roll, things have a tendency of moving on at their own pace.
I’m thinking of the Queen Mary’s stopping length, here but the same can be thought of holes in underpants.
Last night I found a hole in my underpants .
I was in the bathroom and this sort of thing happens , so irritated I threw the underpants out of the window onto the patio, to be retrieved later to put in the bin by the back door.
Now galvanised , as I warmed to my task, I had a quick check of my undercrackers drawer and found four more gusset challenged sets all with holes in and threw them on the patio too.
This seemed sensible to me as I often throw used bleach bottles, empty shampoo bottles etc out on the patio to be retrieved later for recycling.
At 9 am there was a knock at the back door and Trevor’s gardener stood there wanting to know how he was.
Nothing was mentioned about the five pairs of underpants lying on the patio
Thank you for the first laugh of the day John.
ReplyDeleteWelcome xx
DeleteYou are always such a class act.
ReplyDeleteA classy bitch
DeletePerhaps his thoughts about the incident were best kept to himself!
ReplyDeleteVery wise
DeleteIn addition he may have wondered whether you may invite him to join a wild party x🎉
ReplyDeleteHahaha, BUST-ed!
ReplyDeleteShamed
DeleteSomethings are best left unmentioned. Time for a little shopping. Comfy undies are essential.
ReplyDeleteLong legged ones
Deletehttps://www.underarmour.com/en-us/p/underwear/mens_ua_tech_9_boxerjock/1332664.html?dwvar_1332664_color=001&start=0&breadCrumbLast=Underwear
DeleteThe 9 inch ones are most comfortable
Great way to start my day: A laugh out loud post from you. The visual was hilarious. Thanks, John.
ReplyDeleteYou are very welcome dianne x
DeleteHe probably thought you'd had a wild orgy! Next time, you should throw them down the stairs, to avoid any misunderstandings. How is Trefor? I hope he's doing well. xx
ReplyDeleteI doubt that very much given the state of the gussets
DeleteOh no - I don't like a gusset x 👅
DeleteOh the stories Trevor’s gardener might tell!
ReplyDeleteI may have to kill him
DeleteThis story reminds me of a nursing instructor's story about her first pay check. She told her mom she was going to throw all her old undies off the high level bridge and buy new ones. What made the story so funny was she seemed so prim & proper & that wasn't the story one expected from her. Nothing like new knickers.
ReplyDeleteI’ve bought my new one from Sainsbury’s
DeleteYou're so funny, John!
ReplyDeleteI’m a real hoot
DeleteVery funny. Knickers on the patio and the rumor mill will go in to warp speed.
ReplyDeleteAs if I haven’t encouraged it
DeleteIf you don't have holes in your knickers, how do you get them on?
ReplyDeleteI gotta say, I'm so very glad my husband just throws his old knickers in the garbage. You did make me laugh though.
Ask any fat man that question
DeleteSurely you know the reason worn out undies are called unmentionables for a reason? Clearly Trevor's gardener is a true gentleman! (OR: he has seen to manay of the same to bother commenting.) Mind boggles either way. Laugh out loud mind pictures.
ReplyDeleteIf he’s seen many soggy undies strewn on Patios before he’s led an interesting life
DeleteHow kind of Trevor's gardener to be so tactful.
ReplyDeleteIt's clear you don't have a screen on that window!
Happy Friday!
Hugs!
I’m very bad at throwing things out of the cottage windows
DeleteOh what a picture you've painted! Thanks for the giggle & grin. 😊
ReplyDeleteAt least my remaining items are good enough to get run over in
DeleteAt least the undies didn’t fly off into the lane this time.
ReplyDeleteMakes a change
DeleteClearly the gardener thought that underpants on the patio were just an everyday sight at the Gray cottage and saw no reason to comment on them.
ReplyDeleteIt had rained too , so the piles of pants did look incredibly sad
Delete1st laugh of the day for me, thanks! :)
ReplyDeleteGet out more xx
DeleteThat's a lot of holey pants!
ReplyDeleteEnough to fill a monestry
DeleteI do hope Trevor is doing ok. Thanks for the smile!
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Barbara
I’ve to catch up with him , I’m hoping to next week
DeleteI am sure it was as obvious as the holes in the under drawers. :) Love your joi de vivre in your disgust. ;)
ReplyDeleteAnxiety filled shame more like
DeleteLOL -- don't you have a wastebasket in your bathroom?!
ReplyDeleteOnly for show , it’s tiny
DeleteOnly you!
ReplyDeleteWe all need a good pants story from time to time
DeleteThanks for the great laugh. So charming that they are called knickers. Much cuter than underwear.
ReplyDeleteThe older I get the quicker I seem to be going through knickers
DeleteGo figure
I once used a clean pair of knickers to throw a huge spider out of the window. Accidentally let go and the underwear flew out. It was late and dark so I left them - could see them on the path. Next morning the postie picked them up, folded them and placed them in the postbox. Following morning he asked if I was having a good time while my husband was abroad …
ReplyDeleteLol, I remember catching an injured bat in a pair of the Prof’s
DeleteI did wonder who was going to find your panties next.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! Clearly you have a species of moth there with a penchant for chewing holes in men's undergarments. On that theme, a friend told me a story of a mental health workplace meeting he'd attended that included a somewhat grumpy, irascible older colleague. The meeting took place around a low table. At a serious point in the meeting, the grumpy older gentleman threw one of his leg over the other, precipitating a pair of baggy, grey underpants across the table, wherein all collapsed in fits of laughter - apart from a highly embarrassed Mr Grumpy, who clearly had left yesterday's underwear in his trousers when he had taken them off the previous evening and forgot about them - until he'd inadvertently shot them across the meeting table. The psychology of pants - you could probably run a whole blog about it.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. That's quite a way to start the day.
ReplyDeleteThat started my day off perfectly ... hee hee! Thank you John. Over here is is marginally cheaper to buy them in sets of three. Two packets and you'll be good for another year.
ReplyDeleteFollow my example. Once a year I throw away all my socks, pants, and T shirts, and replace them with new. Even if they were perfect; in the bin they go!
ReplyDeleteMaybe your visitor had already heard that you sometimes hurl things out of the upstairs windows to be dealt with later. A claim to fame? Very civilised of him though to not mention the pants :)
ReplyDeleteStandard
ReplyDeleteBrilliant ... only you John, only you. :-)
ReplyDelete