Bwthyn y Llan has never been a hot bed of sin to be sure.
Ok, I’ve had my moments, this is true, but Don Juan is not a nickname the neighbours have or will ever give me.
I’ve booked Roger in for his castration in January and after a couple of years of barren wilderness
Dorothy is now suddenly in full season.
Subsequently Roger has become a panting, blob of hairy jelly and Dorothy has suddenly morphed into Rita Hayworth in Gilda.
The air is electric , and filled with eager panting and lots of come hither looks.
It’s like a soft pot video with 12 nipples and fur.
I met my sister in law for lunch today at Bryn Williams and took Roger with me . He sulked like a teen and only perked up when walking back to the cottage to see Dorothy flashing her toilet parts at him through the cat flap with a lascivious look on her face
Quit with the virginal pretence x
ReplyDeleteHormones mave, you will remember those
DeleteHow big is the cat flap? You could see not only Dorothys rear end but also the look on her face?
ReplyDeleteEmbellishing a story doesn't always make for better reading John, it just makes the whole tale sound unbelievable.
It’s a story anon….do yourself a favour and let yourself go a little, but then the post is about sexual fun and I suspect that’s something you know nothing about
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DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteYou are not hijacking a simplistic , banal and silly post Ursula , not again
DeleteOh yay, ursula is back. What's the emoji for sarcasm?
DeleteDon’t worry she will be always deleted m I will not allow her to hijack simple posts for the hell of it
DeleteAnon needs a 'good seeing to', maybe it would make them feel a little more 'chilled out'!
DeleteOf course, as they spend their sad little life sitting hunched over a keyboard, just waiting to spit bile, it's never going to happen!!!
This was truly hilarious! I was laughing out loud. I really always enjoy your posts so much, but this one was in a class of its own. I can just see it.
ReplyDeleteNina
I SO agree with Nina, this was a great one. ;) Not were I thought you were going with this title or the first line.
DeleteFemale bulldogs ( all four I have owned) all have turned out to be sexually promiscuous
DeleteSo plenty of time for the patter of tiny paws then!
ReplyDeleteOh god no
DeleteI wouldn't wish to be castrated myself so I have great sympathy for Roger. Couldn't he just use "Woof!" canine condoms instead?
ReplyDeleteIf only ….remember he’s dim….his little grey matter is totally sex orientated at the mo
DeleteOh, I thought this post was going to be about you having a steamy night of passion! The image of Dorothy giving come hither looks to Roger is hilarious. Poor Roger, all those hormones! I hope the vet gets to him before Dorothy does, otherwise you'll be overrun with little fur balls. xx
ReplyDeleteI don’t think he can quite “ reach” if you see my meanig
DeleteStranger things have happened in the world of dogs. Best to keep a close eye on the two of them till Roger's surgery, and for however long afterwards your vet suggests. Carol - a reader in Philadelphia
DeleteOh yes
DeleteI thought you had booked yourself in for a moment.
ReplyDeleteI’m not that desperate yet
DeleteWhen I walked in the house with my little teddy from a quite basic old fashioned dog rescue where he hadn't had his parts checked over previously - he weed up the walls and humped my large lily all day - Next day he went to our vets for assistance x
ReplyDeleteLovely
DeleteNever a dull moment in the cottage, John.
ReplyDeleteStill laughing here.
Hugs!
I’d find it funny if I wasn’t watching them all like hawks
DeleteOh, Dorothy! He's far too young for you, old gal.
ReplyDeleteAnd she’s surprisingly slutty, like her old friend Winnie who was a whore
DeleteHow torrid, LOL!
ReplyDeleteLook away
DeletePoor Roger that the price of lust is castration.
ReplyDeleteIt will be a blessing all told
DeleteMay I add - though my teddy was nipped he is stiill amourous 8 years later with my lily x 🍒
ReplyDeleteLovely
DeleteDogs will still hump after castration - it's a dominance thing. They'll hump other males as well as females. My last dog was like a school yard bully, humping younger and smaller dogs for most of his life, despite being neutered at age 6 months. But at least no progeny resulted. Carol in Philadelphia
DeleteHumping with blanks is fine x
DeleteThe mind boggles! Good luck with all that......
ReplyDeleteHopefully it’s not for too long
DeleteRoger's cuteness was too much for poor Dorothy's body chemistry!
ReplyDeleteCeci
It’s all too much
DeleteSome would argue that point to the nth degree
ReplyDeleteGilda - now there's a good film noir. Your post made me smile. Dogs - my male Border Terrier would need a step ladder to get at my female Wirehaired Pointer when she's in heat. Then again bitches are known to lie down to accommodate males of a smaller stature. Filthy hussies! Have been looking to buy some dog diapers as an extra precaution. That and keeping one or the other of them confined to barracks (a large crate). It's all go.
ReplyDeleteIt was sad when Rita said “;everyone wanted to sleep with Gilda but woke up with me”
DeleteJust curious- what are you doing to prevent Dorothy from getting pregnant? In my experience it's always been next to impossible to keep a randy male away from a female when she's in heat. That is true for dogs as well.
ReplyDeleteI've seen the lady parts of bitches in heat and they're hard to miss. Thanks for making me laugh:)
ReplyDeleteThat was the idea of the whole post
DeleteTo make everyone including myself laugh
Also disappointed, thought it was about you not about doggy sex shenanigans
ReplyDeleteI wish lol
DeleteI thought you had exciting personal news to share w us, darn!
ReplyDeleteMaybe you will have cross breed puppies this spring! designer pups: "welshiebulls''? Look like Dorothy but really hairy, hmmm...
Time for D too to have the snip, unless anesthesia is a major issue? Remember how Winnie suffered w the uterus problem later in life. And last..treat your cottage and D to female doggy diapers, Amazon is your friend.
love lizzy x
When it happens I will let uk know lol
DeleteSounds like Dorothy is a cradle robber! Nice to see an older woman with a young man!
ReplyDeleteThose would be some strange looking puppies. Lust is in the air.
ReplyDeleteWill there be a mistake breeding LOL
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Dorothy is perhaps too old for a first [presumably?] litter. Or even if she had pups pre-John. And you know...what about Mary, not interested? they d be purebred puppies.
ReplyDeleteI can't recall when something made me laugh so hard. I am just glad it is you and not me.
ReplyDeleteJG, house of hormones raging. Are you prepared to referee?
ReplyDeleteYou're much braver than I am! One of them would be taking a holiday at someone else's house.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Billy has had 'the snip' but his ardour still emerges. I'm ashamed to say that he does get things very wrong occasionally.
ReplyDeleteA good thing it's only a doggy thing to flash your lady parts through the dog flap! :)
ReplyDeleteGoodness me, your randy pets need to calm down a bit before they spontaneously combust.
ReplyDeleteMy terrier puppy used to behave inappropriately with a large fluffy slipper shaped like a cow owned by teenage son. Needless to say he (the dog not the son) was booked into the vet quickly .......
ReplyDeleteOh John, you have a way with words. Got a good chuckle this morning. This is why your blog is the first thing I read every morning. Love you!
ReplyDeleteWonderful, awful imagery here, John. The sex lives of our pets can confound us -- if you think dogs are difficult, hark to the tales told by parrot-rescuers. (They stock up on those stuffed birds sold for training hunting dogs...)
ReplyDeleteI saw hotbed of sex and Roger's castration and for just a moment couldn't think of who Roger is and why you're having a man castrated! It gave me a good laugh, as does your writing.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
John, this post made me laugh so much I nearly fell off the chair. You do have a lovely way with words. Thanks for cheering up an otherwise boring shift. MERRY CHRISTMAS!
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud. Hope you have a Merry Christmas and an exciting New Year.
ReplyDeleteBun
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