Another Time/ Another Country

Rol and I, at another time, in another country

 When I was 20 I sort of fell in love with my best friend Rol

I didn’t understand the feeling, for sure.

I didn’t even understand I was Gay at the time

But in that clumsy, awkward, oblivious ,adolescent way…

I fell in love.

That secret, unrequited sort of love with a six foot, extrovert  rugby playing straight bloke who was destined for university, marriage and fatherhood in The Midlands

Our friendship waned after he went to Oxford and University  and I went nursing, and like many heterosexual men, he never really kept in touch although over the last forty years our paths have crossed at odd opportunities and situations and I was always aware of his general news as my friendship with his younger sister Nia has continued even after she emigrated to Australia. 

Our “parting” wasn’t a tragic separation, there was too much going on, for that to be the case, but it hurt a little at the time…. the way only things hurt when you are a gauche, immature , young man who had no real idea of who and what he was……

Last week Rol messaged me through social media and asked to meet. 

I was intrigued and happy to do so and this morning we met up at y shed.over coffee.

A brummie accented grandad and an almost 60 year old gay divorcee with a mild hangover

It was strange as we had never sat down together, alone and on a 1 to 1 for almost four decades but the years melted away as we chatted  and caught up. For me, it wasn’t a return to those uncooked unrequited  Love days…how could it have been ?  we both are very different people now , but it was a nostalgic and gentle nod to a friendship which was important to both of us in a country and a time so different from today. 

Now, the reason for the reunion turned out to be a serious health scare during lockdown . 

A reminder that people that matter and who mattered need to be touched base with.

No apologies for not keeping in touch for all those years

There is no need for apologies 

And we were both moved to tears by the catch up and the feelings that we shared.

We hugged each other firmly as we said our goodbyes.

Hugged for the good past times and the memories

Hugged for the shared uncertainties of approaching our sixties

And hugged for the fact we are still here ………..

And as we hugged Rol kissed me gently on the cheek 

A gesture that moved me greatly.