I’m flat as a pancake today.
I thought I would be.
Thank you all for the kind comments of the past two days.
Everything is back to normality though Albert is pacing the cottage more than normal
I’m not surprised .
I went shopping and bumped into one of the senior staff from intensive Care. She asked me to go back saying that they were in need of my humour and she hugged me....
I felt like crying
I’ve made vegetable soup, warmed with chilli and wrapped gifts and wrote Christmas cards
And at lunchtime John Lewis delivered the small table I’d ordered for the living room, which gave me another construction job to do.
Social media from the village let everyone know that Mrs Turpin had lost one of her beloved schnauzers, so I took a plant around.
She cried buckets.
My friend Brian , who lives in Ireland has just married his long term partner Aaron yesterday. He sent me the photographs. I wish the couple well.....Covid weddings are not easy , I am sure .
Brian and Aaron
You sound especially emotional today...that table is perfect to have beside your reading chair,enjoy and rest well when you can.- Mary
ReplyDeleteI’m flat mary that’s all
DeleteBe kind to yourself. Loss is loss and maybe you need to cry buckets too.
ReplyDeleteI wonder about cats and their understanding of death. We had 3 cats when we were in Indiana. When Wookie died, we buried him in a corner of the back yard near one of his favorite spots. For a few weeks after his death, I'd see one or the other cats sitting by the grave, then they both stopped going there. We moved a bit over 2 years later. Moving day, I put both cats in the back yard to keep them away from the movers. Seemed every time I looked out, the cats were by Wookie's grave. It was like Boojum and Fafhrd understood this was the last time the 3 of them could ever all be together.
ReplyDeleteAlbert has just paced the cottage that’s all I’ve noticed
DeletePoor Albert, you wonder how much they understand. And poor John, you probably do feel like crying...Are you tempted by ICU?
ReplyDeleteNo , not at all x
DeleteYou are such a lovely, kind and thoughtful person. No wonder ICU want you to be with them. xxx
ReplyDeleteI made the staff laugh ..I was better that that rather than the machinery
DeleteYou have so many who care about you. You care about them and they feel it. Take care of you.
ReplyDeleteHoping like mad that 2021 will be far better for you [and dear Albert] than this horrible past year has been. It couldn't be much worse, could it? Go gently, as you generally do. We have faith in you.
ReplyDeleteYes I am sure the new year will bring back our beloved cinema Raymondo l I do miss it so
DeleteCan't say I've missed the old 'Kino' all these months, hardly at all. I doubt if I'll be banging on the doors for first entry when they re-open.
Deletenice table! i'm still teary about winnie.
ReplyDeleteI’ve been touched by how many people genuiningly liked her
DeleteWell, we've all known her through your loving eyes.
DeleteI feel your pain John. Losing a loved animal is as bad as losing a human. I think cats are more perceptive than we give them credit for.
ReplyDeletePoor Albert.
Briony
x
The table looks lovely. I do like the shade of green you've painted the cupboard. xx
ReplyDeleteApparantly the green was very similar to the original x
DeleteTrust me to throw a spanner in the works here.....
ReplyDeleteWould you consider another cat to add to the family, or would Albert and the girls not like that?. Notice l only mentioned the furries feelings for consideration there!
Stay well my friend never met!
Tess xx
The dynamics need an alpha male and have done for a while
DeleteLook after yourself. And Albert.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHummm
DeleteNo need to remove it Rachel....perhaps you are right work means busy ...
DeleteI meant because of that but then I didn't want to say the wrong thing and I thought perhaps I had. x
DeleteNo u didnt ...I dont really fancy work tomorrow but theres not much else to do x
DeleteSending warmest of thoughts to you during this emotional time in your life losing Winnie combined with the holiday's sometimes deep emotional remembrances/feelings triggering sadness. Hugs, John, from me living at the bottom of the mini-mountain in Maine.
ReplyDeleteXx
DeleteCongrats to the happy couple! Covid weddings save some money, at least.
ReplyDeleteYes it’s lovely to see them
DeleteWell, for whatever it's worth, I DO love that new little table.
ReplyDeleteI knew you would x
DeleteYes, I too love that slightly retro table.
ReplyDeleteYou are human John, our emotions are so up and down. I hope you can take comfort from friends and family which of course includes us lot ! X
ReplyDeleteWhat a perfect little table with a drawer for stashing things in. Perfect location for the table, too.
ReplyDeleteWishing Brian and Aaron much happiness!
As others have said, be gentle with yourself as the loss of dear Winnie causes real grief and getting past that takes time as you know.
You and Mrs Turpin can cry together Sympathy to her and her family, too.
Big hugs
It’s a cracking table I was in two minds whether to buy this or another but this was ideal but expensive 200£!,,
DeleteIt takes time and a special kindness and care for yourself to allow your heart and soul to adjust to such a loss. You can't push it but if you let it be it will find a way to heal. Be gentle with yourself and know that many care about you.
ReplyDeleteI’m very lucky
DeleteIt's hard losing a family member, even when you know it's coming. But, who am I telling?
ReplyDeleteI hope Albert is ok. Winnie was his friend, more so than the other two dogs. And, I know you'll be ok, John, but do treat yourself gently.
Sending love...
Thank you e
DeleteI am not teaching you to suck eggs (especially Scotch Eggs, but let your grieving and the processes involved happen naturally if you need to let the tears fall let them fall. Being connected deeply to an animal friend or family member deep ties are made. We learn to live with whatever comes our way but learning to live without them that is a small hurt that needs its own spqce and time for healing; it grates and is sore otherwise. As well as yourself give Albert a little more time as well. Cats do notice the changes (or at least my lot always know when a family member is missing and do not stop looking for sometime). It is always the firsts that catch you off-guard. Some days will be better than others but one thing I do know is that Winnie is indelibly inscribed on your inner heart just like you were on hers. Take care, allow yourself time to breathe. x
ReplyDeleteSomeone has had a pee in the spare bedroom
DeleteLetting u know still around or Albert scent marking territory. Or do u have something to tell me?? Emotional upsets take it out of you more. Especially someone who cares for others and who gets embarrassed when receiving praise or attention and fobs it off like u do. Take care John take care x
DeleteI haven't been blog reading in a few days, so I had read yesterday's post. I am sorry for your loss, sweetpea. I still miss my old girl, Abigail, gone almost 3 decades. You have my heart. xo
ReplyDeleteThank y
DeleteAfter my top dog a very lively terrier passed I couldn't bear the pain even though there was still the other 2-soon after I got another from a rescue and soon after another one and I still miss so very much x
ReplyDeleteIt’s not Winnie.list just adrenaline
DeleteJust read about dear Winnie John - I am so so sorry that she's gone but what a lovely way to go - with a full tum and in her own home. It sounds like she just drifted off. We will all miss her. Big hug for you xxx
ReplyDeleteAfter a full. Meal and a silly squeeze of a rubber chicken
DeleteI feel for albert. and congrats to the happy handsome couple!
ReplyDeleteYes I’m happy for them , covid means the celebrations were small
DeleteI was terribly sorry to hear you lost Winnie. Dogs get old quickly and it can be so hard to bear. She was lucky to have you, and I expect that goes both ways.
ReplyDeleteNelly it was her time
DeleteAs they say time is a healer but it's hard. Poor Albert, give him an extra cuddle. The table looks good.
ReplyDeleteIt’s just Adrenalin comedown that’s all
DeleteIt’s been an emotional week
It always moves me to see that no matter what blow we have been dealt, life pulls us back to her embrace, slowly, lovingly, with tables to be built, and friends to be comforted and celebrated, blogs to be written...
ReplyDeleteBra straps need a pullin xx
DeleteLOL. Not quite what I meant. I mean even in your grief you are looking outward. Those ties will pull you from the place you are now back into itself. That's how life is meant to work, I think.
DeleteThere is a time for grief, though. I'm not a big fan of the 'suck it up, buttercup' advisors.
The house must seem emptier without her.
ReplyDeleteIt’s quieter and less farty
DeleteGentle hugs to you my friend, they surely leave an empty spot in our days.
ReplyDeleteI buried my Oliver in the garden next to my potting shed, knowing I would walk that path everyday. I have a lighted globe sitting atop the spot, at night I look out of the window, and smile, knowing he is still with me in spirit.
I loved your Winnie ….
Jo
x
She was too big to bury so neighbour john came round and helped me out her into the car
DeleteThe vet has organised her cremation
So kind of your neighbour.
DeleteJust breathe...
ReplyDeleteNice little table..and lovely to get good news for a little lift at this time
Yes I'm so happy my friend is married his husband has a disability and its lovely to see them both so happy
ReplyDeleteThere is so much need for hospital staff today, especially in ICUs. Many of Our h ospitals are 90% full, mostly with Covid patients. It is a desperate situation that sees no end till the spring. I understand why your friend needed a hug and someone to make her smile.
ReplyDeletePlease find a few enjoyable, relaxing, fun things to do. You've had a string of emotionally draining days and need a brake. Love the new table. It fits in perfectly. Nice choice.
ReplyDeleteI’m back to work on four nights x
DeleteI cried for a week after my last dog 'Bok' died. I could think of nothing else. I recommend it.
ReplyDeleteIt's no wonder you feel flat, Winnie will leave a huge hole in your life both physically and emotionally. She was always 'there' for you. And this although not completely unexpected was very sudden. Gosh I felt it so massively when I lost Bella and she was a teeny tiny thing ... but with a huge personality.
ReplyDeleteBe nice to yourself and give Albert a stroke from me, cats feel their pain in such a unique way and understand so much more than we sometimes give them credit for, he's just lost his best pal and ally.
Congrats to your friends.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better. I know it seems cliche, but allow yourself to grieve.
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