A Head On A Shoulder


I grew up with parents that never showed physical affection
I was never hugged as a child.
I remember one moment at my grandmother's funeral where my mother rested her head onto my father's shoulder
The gesture was slightly awkward and just that little bit sad in its rarity

The recent photo of Prince Charles and William was anything but awkward
It is warm and comfortable and with Charles in the subservient role, it is rather a moving study of father and son.
A father who has finally found a way to show his feelings


82 comments:

  1. I'm not sure it's that rare, John. I know it isn't in my family.

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  2. Barbara Anne12:26 am

    I grew up in a family that hugged nearly daily. When DH and I married, I introduced them to hugs and AMIL took to hugs like a duck to water.

    Wishing each and every one lots of hugs forevermore.

    Hugs!

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  3. Love that photo. My Mom was a cold fish, but Dad was warm and fuzzy and a hugger. How lucky am I?

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    1. Yes , so was I , when I was growing up I had a hugger of a grandmother and sister

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  4. I think Charles has had a rough life, really. It's good to see him look so happy

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  5. Hmmmmm, as an American I never thought of the British royal family as being particularly warm or comfortable. So it's nice to see this photo.

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  6. That photo captures a beautiful moment.

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  7. I love that picture. I am a hugger and most, but not all, of my family are huggers as well. I love a good hug!

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    1. Me too bonnie , I had a sneaky one today

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  8. My mother had a lot of kids. I felt the lack of physical affection. I remember being a teenager and saying "I love you" dripping with sarcasm because I hated that she couldn't say it. With age she learned both and it was lovely.

    Because of that, I was very physical with my kids. Hugs, kisses, tickles...raspberries on their bellies. Alas, I am sure there are things my kids have committed to doing for their kids that they felt was missing too.

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    1. Another bittersweet memory Linda thank u

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  9. no affection in my house growing up either. nice pix of chas and wills.

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  10. My father was a stiff-upper-lip, old school, almost Victorian style person. I was away at school mostly, so we didn't even see each other too often. He occasionally said "Hello old chap", then later "Cheerio old chap"; and that was it. My mother was friendlier.

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    1. countrygal3:34 pm

      I am sorry to be vague, but I read in whoever's biography that when 'he' was at boarding school (maybe Eton or Harrow etc) he was meant to go out with his father one weekend for 'afternoon tea' at a resplendent hotel. Unfortunately, he didn't because his father mistakenly took one of his peers instead not realising it was not his own son. The boy returned to school bemused, but too polite to ask 'who are you' etc, as apparently the 'father and son' had little to say to each other.

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    2. His childhood was akin to something written by Dickens

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    3. We all coped. After a short while it seemed 'normal'.

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    4. Aisling9:20 am

      Countrygal - that story is not true. You shouldn't believe everything you read, especially unauthorised biographies. My husband's profession was with the Metropolitan Police Special Branch and I can assure you that did not happen. Without going into more detail the protection that surrounds our Royal Family simply would not allow such a thing to happen.

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  11. I think the fact that both Charles' children grew up with a great deal of respect and affection for him shows he has plenty of good qualities and I am glad to see him happy.

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  12. That is my favourite photo of Prince Charles and William, it's so lovely to see how close they are. I never had a hug or kiss from my Mum, occasionally off my Dad. When I had children they had lots of affection, and still do x

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    1. And they are all the better for it hazel

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  13. The first time my mother hugged me she was 80. This was the first physical sign of affection from her that I had ever had. I like the Charles and William photo. How much better things are today.

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    1. How did you feel when she hugged you?

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  14. my parents never showed an ounce of affection to each other , my mother even in her 80s looks down her nose at me and cant even force herself to be pleasant except in front of witnesses . My dad loved me in his clumsy gormless way and when my mother left i held his hand as he had some sort of breakdown and sobbed himself to sleep each night

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  15. In his last few years I used to hug my dad whenever I said goodbye. It occurred to me one day that this was the only physical contact he had, even though my mum was there.

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    1. So many people aren't ever touched
      I am so lucky that I am a hugger

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  16. My parents were very physically affectionate to me when I was a young child, but as I got older they decided physical affection was no longer desirable as it might turn me into a homosexual. Seriously. They were both very weird about homosexuality.

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    1. Oh lord! I don't know quite what to say about this one nick

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  17. There is a video of the Queen getting off a plane and being met by Charles when he was a small boy. She shakes his hand.

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    1. Joan (Devon)8:36 am

      I also remember that Tom. Then there was Diana who, arms wide in greeting, hugged her two sons lovingly when she returned from a trip abroad.

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    2. Yes, what a difference.

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    3. I think you are thinking of the hugs aboard the Maid of the Mist with D in a checked suit. Big wide open hug for both boys. Charles was also there and hugged the boys. The media only wanted D shots.

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    4. Yes, they earned the most money

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  18. It's all too easy for non-Royalists [though we know you ARE one, JayGee] to dismiss this photo as over-sentimental, almost cringe-worthy, but it's very human and affecting, and reveals a side of Chas we very rarely see, if ever. Looking at it again, because you've brought it again to our attention, I have to say I do like it.

    Through most of my childhood and teenage years I used to think my father was unresponsive and emotionally cold to all of us, his five children - it was my mum who was the touchy-feely one. I don't recall my dad ever touching anyone, apart from when he gave one of my brothers some punishing smacks on a couple of occasions. I never saw him touching my mum, or even say any affectionate words to her. Then in my late teens I realised that he wasn't cold at all, just sensitive and too self-conscious to demonstrate emotion. It was then that I started to respect him, at first slowly, but with more understanding. Another discover, later, was that I would grow up in much the same way as he was.

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    1. Raymondo , I am a total royalist ....

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  19. My feelings exactly John when I saw this photo in The Times this morning. Happy at last for Charles I thought - and congratulations on the way he has brought those boys up to be like this.

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    1. I wonder how Camilla featured in this change of affection?
      I suspect a great deal

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  20. That photo is awesome.
    It's funny how we have to dig in memories to remember if our parents were or not affectionate with us or with each other. My parents were never too affectionate with each other but I was close to my mom and my sister to my dad. My sister and I used to walk hand in hand when little.
    Funny, I don't have clear memories of my dad hugging me when I was older...

    XOXO

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  21. I agree. This is a very warm and endearing photo of both 'future kings'.

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  22. what's so sad about this photo is that if it weren't for diana's influence, i don't think we would have seen this.

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  23. It's a lovely photo of our two future Kings. People forget that are a normal, mostly happy family as well as being our Royal family. They all seem blessed with a dry, wicked sense of humour.

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  24. It is a heartwarming image, I think Charles will be a warmer more approachable monarch, and William will be even more "normal" - well as normal as one can be when raised as a hereditary monarch :)

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  25. countrygal1:17 pm

    I was very close to my late father, he was very caring and affectionate, we got along very well and shared a sense of humour. In contrast, my late mother was the opposite, she could be quite frosty and was not a person to hug, but our relationship was not poor but at times awkward. After my mother's death I found out that her being an only child and not a boy was a 'huge disappointment'. Perhaps she carried this 'burden' and it affected her emotionally: I certainly won't judge her or indeed anyone.

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    1. It's nice to look back and forgive
      After all we never know the full story

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  26. One of the most human pictures of any of the royals I've ever seen.

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  27. Charles and William are both good men. If the monarchy does continue, it is safe in their hands. Good job that William is the older brother and not that ginger oaf - I can't remember his name.

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    1. They seem well intentioned ....and loyal , what more do we want x

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  28. When i was a young child, i remember my parents hugging me, usually hello or good-bye, occasionally good night.

    As i grew older, there was much less physical contact, and i was often the one to initiate it (kiss on the cheek hello/good-bye/good night). I recall a few times when i was teenager wanting to hug my mother or put my head in her lap and have a good cry when upset about something but refrained, feeling it wasn't the right thing to do. I felt as if that was something a child did, and i wasn't a child anymore.

    I don't remember ever hearing anyone say it, but it was an expectation i felt and that was that.

    My parents rarely showed each other physical affection in our presence other than the hello/good-bye hugs or kiss.

    Himself and i hug every day. While i like hugs, I would not consider myself a hugger at large; my hugging circle of choice is very small. Some of my friends are huggers, and I understand this is how they relate, so we hug because i love them and it's important to them.

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    1. The story of the teenage you broke my heart just a little x

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  29. I haven't seen that photo, but I agree, it's a heart-warmer. It's great to see the royals being less symbolic and more human.

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    1. It really moved me steve, unexpectedly so

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  30. Unfortunately I concur with you John. I also think people get 'stuck' in adult relationships where hugging and love disappear...

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  31. Awww, that's a sweet photo -- I haven't seen it before.

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  32. My parents were affectionate with each other and with us 3 kids, especially when we were little. But, as my mom died 8 years ago, my dad has reverted to being more of a handshaker than a hugger. That's ok, it's who he is. He still loves us, he just shows it differently.

    Thinking about hugging, I realized that I haven't hugged another human since early March...

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  33. My parents seemed close to me-they walked hand in hand and so I was shocked when my mum left when I was 19 years old.Me and my mum walked arm in arm-I miss her x

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  34. I too had a little affection home, and this is a great shot.

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  35. First time for me to see that photo also. Love it. My wife and then I introduced my stoic dad to hugs and I think it warmed his late years.

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    1. Hi think many people warm with age ( and grand children)

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  36. I haven't seen too many photos of them together, just them. But looks like love is in the air for them both.
    Wonderful for them.

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  37. SpikesBestMate9:10 pm

    A lovely photo. I wonder if, in private, they ever all each other Dad and Son? I can't bring myself to refer to them as Chas and Wills. Charles and William are perfectly good names, why spoil them?

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    1. I think Charles is referred to as pa

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  38. My father never showed emotion. He was distant. He died years and years ago, and I can only remember one time when he showed emotion, and that is when we had to put our dog down. I was in college. Other than that, nothing. He was strict and unforgiving, but somehow I loved him and in some way I knew he loved me. I didn't think he loved me at the time, but as I look back, I know he did. Now, I on the other hand, freely show emotion and tear up at the simplest of things, as I am now. Thank you for this post and bringing me back to thinking of my father.

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  39. I love that his hat and gloves looking a bit “used” , like they are his favorites, just like a regular person .

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