This is me


Well thank you for your best wishes yesterday ( with the exception of one arse-wipe of a troll)
The last mediation went ok, even though I still feel I had more to say...
Just the funeral of my dad in law to go to on Monday and that will be the end of an era.
I will not have further contact with my husband.
It's an odd thing to write.

The village is layered in mist and rain today, and it feels like damp March rather than Sweltering July.
I've walked Mary ( Winnie prefers a quick wazz behind Bluebell first thing)  and both dogs and Albert have been fed.
Trendy Carol hurried past , her head down against the wet. I think she had her leather effect anorak on!
I'm going to bed as I'm on a run of nights with only four more to go.
The support workers and a couple of the more lucid patients will miss me
And I will miss them

Afew " This is me" entries today
Send remaining ones in to jgsheffield@hotmail.com

I'm tired















51 comments:

  1. I imagine you will be feeling "wiped out" after the last year's adrenalin run. Relax, sleep, eat and know how much you are loved and respected by your friends & family. Hugs, Ro xxx

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  2. A poignent day to say goodbye to Chris and his family.

    Time then to start your new life with us cheering you on from the side lines xx

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  3. It is good that you have decided to attend Richard Burton's funeral. Not only will you be saying goodbye to him, you will also be drawing a line in the sand from which moving on will be easier to do.

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  4. Joan (Devon)8:56 am

    I missed yesterday's post for some reason, but I would like to say that you must be torn in two at the moment with mixed emotions - sad that it's the end of an era and glad that you can now move on. You have survived with dignity as I know you will on Monday. Wishing you everything you wish yourself, so take care, John.

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  5. Anonymous9:06 am

    i hope you dont mind me asking , just showing how stupid i am, but what is the 'mediation' about, not asking for you to tell about , private stuff of course, i divorced many years ago and didnt have that.
    best wishes for the future

    jane

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    Replies
    1. Mediators are like an independent third person who help in divorces without taking sides and help with seeing the wood for the trees in matters such as financial planning, arrangements for children if there are any etc with both parties present. I am taking the liberty of answering, Jane, because John has gone to bed. I am sure he will add something for you.

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    2. Got it in one. They help sort the financial stuff out without the customary ( and expensive) legal battle.
      And although they are not cheap, they are cheaper and kinder than solicitors

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    3. I wonder if this an English legal thing as I wasn't aware of this in Scotland. Hence the £7.5k legal bill for my long drawn out divorce!!

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    4. Jean Shaw3:43 pm

      Our first accountant here in Oregon used to take every Wednesday off and volunteer as a court-appointed mediator. I once asked him why he did that, and he said that his first business partner nearly lost everything in a nasty divorce, and he was determined to prevent that from happening to others.

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    5. Hi Ali, as John is asleep and I hope he does not mind, Mediation is within the English judicial system. Courts were getting bogged down with acrimonious and expensive Court proceedings and children were in many cases getting stuck inbetween everything else. Mediation in England and Wales is a preferred option and indeed in the local area around Peterborough couples are asked to attend for Mediation purposes right from the off to try and seek common ground and a swift resolution to their overall costs if agreement can be achieved. The company I used to work for (a Solicitor's practice in Peterborough) subscribed to a governing body called Resolution. It is far kinder in the longer term and only those cases that need to go to Court (for whatever reason) end up there and are then adjudicated on by a Judge's decision which may or may not come up with the answer that client was seeking help for. Mediation is intended and indeed helps people help themselves to achieve a reasonable and agreed solution. Courts very much prefer clients to have attempted to mediate and negotiate terms. Each case is extremely personal and has individual elements which make that Mediation tailor made for them. No one case is exactly the same similar but not the same. Emotions when people split are often on a high due to emotional upset which is very understandable and which takes some time to get over. It is never easy and coming out of such situations without tearing each other any further apart and with their dignity intact is preferable in the longer term as it enables people to move forward. Mediation very much has its place within the English judicial system. Sorry if I have overstepped the mark here John; no harm meant as you know. Now John take time for you. Pattypan xx

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    6. Thanks for the explanation Pattypan. Sounds like a sensible idea to help difficult situations. Sorry we've hijacked your comments John. Maybe it will help someone else in the future xxx

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    7. Anonymous8:54 am

      thank you everyone for replying, it is indeed a very good idea, thanks again
      jane

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  6. Tired is an understatement for you, so much has happened in such a short time, and you are at the point where the door will close for good on the past years. NOW comes the fun, look to the sun, laugh and meet up with friends.

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  7. I love recognizing blogger faces in some of the photos. And I always love seeing your face. You are so loved, John!

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  8. Sleep well, John! You have a lot to do; adjusting to your new life, managing day to day 'stuff' AND choosing one from all the This is Me pictures. Don't envy you that one. Though the man who likes Wesh bears does stick in my mind!

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  9. I'm glad you are attending the funeral. I can't imagine what it is like to share your life for so many years and then have no contact. I'm attached via my kids.... Not good or bad, just is

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  10. Love the photos! And it seems things are winding down. Bet it’s been an emotional roller coaster

    XoXo

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  11. Will be thinking of you on Monday.

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  12. Anonymous12:05 pm

    Why don't you and Chris agree to meet once a year? You should be old friends ne cest pas

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  13. Wish you lots of good things for the future, a new chapter in life, love to all your dear, loyal pets x

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  14. Anonymous12:49 pm

    The next chapter is yours to write, and what a fantastic author you are!

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  15. It feels like there are lots of new fresh good things happening in your life. Stability is just an illusion - it seldom lasts and there are lots of waves of change that move us forward.

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  16. Life can be stranger than fiction, ironic that you would have a funeral for your father in law as you have ended your sessions. At least you are on good terms and are able to go. I really feel for you John, I'm sure it will not be easy.

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  17. Would you not attend the funeral if your mother in law died?

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  18. Anonymous2:20 pm

    You have traveled quite a journey in the last year. Though the mediation has ended, you feel have more to say. Would it be best to release those words, those feelings, so they are not trapped within you? I feel your sadness at this end of an era. You truly loved. There is no “on/off switch to our hearts. My wish for you...”May true love find you John”. You are a prize and your soulmate is out there looking for you.

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  19. Barbara Anne2:24 pm

    You can count the remaining night shifts on one hand at last!!

    I, too, am glad you're be attending your former FIL's funeral on Monday as it means a lot to you to do so. A sad time of more than one good-bye but you'll be okay.

    You are so much more than okay!

    Hugs!

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  20. Well done on sticking with the mediation, it must have been hard at times.

    And oh, Tom Hardy!!! Be still my beating heart.

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  21. suzanne dorries3:31 pm

    love to you John. The best is yet to come.

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  22. Monday will be hard for you for more than one reason, but you are strong and have all our support behind you.
    By the way, I love the description of Trendy Carol's apparel. I have a picture of her in my mind :)

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  23. Mea Culpa John. Xoox

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  24. Hugs from here.

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  25. Oh my goodness, the Betty Davis clip had me laughing!
    I am glad to hear that you have decided to go to your former FIL's funeral. You are closing the book and starting a whole new one. I wish you the best.

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  26. Once our house was sold, I had very little contact with my ex-husband. He moved, and remains, about 300 miles away, says it was the best thing he ever did and, as far as I know, rarely comes 'home'. I don't believe in re-visiting the past too much either, at least not where relationships are concerned. You need a clear road ahead.

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  27. I hope that the remaining things you would have liked to say eventually fade away with time. And I wish you love again, in its own time and place.

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  28. Lovely friendly faces and photos today I had to laugh at the lady with the wise owl, tidy desk and a good choice of liquor all the basis covered there !!!
    Hope you had a good rest Jhon now that you know your house is your home.

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  29. Sorry looks like I have been drinking spelled your name wrong.

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  30. I'm glad things are finished up and you can move on. Also very glad you get to stay in your home. That's big.

    Sending hugs.

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  31. Anonymous11:25 pm

    I have read your blog for ages..I am sorry for all the crap you have endured, divorce and having to fight for your home..Life is nothing in my opinion a series of this and that..You are brave, loving and kind, the universe and the spirit world will treat you right and you will find yourself loved soon...I think the way you treat other human beings is wonderful, the world needs more loving human beings such as you are..I am chanting for you daily, I just know you will be loved and very happy soon..I live in north America in a town which is cool most of the year so follow what you say about your place, take good care of yourself, smooches to the animals, I am especially fond of kitty cats, they know good souls and loving human beings more so than other animals, all my opinion, take good care and peace and love to you always, ciaoXX()()()()()()()()XXXXXXXX

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  32. I missed yesterday's post. I'm glad this process has been moving toward its conclusion and that you have had things work out. Best of all you get to stay in the place that's home. Maybe plant a garden, some new flowers...happy things worked out for you. You deserve it. Now it's time for the next phase of your wonderfully adventurous life.

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  33. I am sure the decision to attend the funeral for your FIL is the right one... you have a right to say goodbye. Chin up John, one step forward at a time!

    Jo in Auckland

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  34. A quick wazz is a phrase I had been unfamiliar with... Love it! I'm glad you're deciding to attend the Funeral of your FIL to say your Good-Byes... and end an Era.

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  35. I'm glad things are ending well for you after all you have been through and you are able to stay where you like and have a new job. Though funerals can be difficult, saying goodbye is important and I hope you will have the closure you need.

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