" You Look better!" our mediator said gently as she opened the door to her office building so I could leave.
She had been kind and balanced if not just a little preachy during our sessions all together and after today there was no reason for us to ever meet again
She had seen me at my lowest ebb
And now she was saying goodbye when I am better and brighter.
I am glad I am better and brighter.
We have now completed mediation and have done so in joint agreement and without any nastiness.
I want to stress this as it is time to move on without any negative comments below from blog readers If I have negiotiated the last year without ever bad mouthing my husband , I expect everyone else now to do the same.
I hope he is happy.
I hope he will be happy in the future.
There are , of course, some administrative stuff to sort out, but it very much looks as though I will take over the mortgage and will remain in the cottage and the village that has become so important to me over the past few years
Chris has been instrumental in allowing this to happen.
I'm not blind to this fact, and I am grateful even though the mediation ended with a little sadness
The sun was warm when Mary and I stopped off at " our" Promenade cafe in Colwyn Bay on the way home
She had a sausage and I had a bacon buttie and we watched the holiday makers for a while.
She smiled , at me which is a signal that she wanted to move on
And I smiled back
" Come on Kid it' s just me and you now" I told her as she jumped into the air
And we walked down the Promenade , back to Bluebell............... together.
She had been kind and balanced if not just a little preachy during our sessions all together and after today there was no reason for us to ever meet again
She had seen me at my lowest ebb
And now she was saying goodbye when I am better and brighter.
I am glad I am better and brighter.
We have now completed mediation and have done so in joint agreement and without any nastiness.
I want to stress this as it is time to move on without any negative comments below from blog readers If I have negiotiated the last year without ever bad mouthing my husband , I expect everyone else now to do the same.
I hope he is happy.
I hope he will be happy in the future.
There are , of course, some administrative stuff to sort out, but it very much looks as though I will take over the mortgage and will remain in the cottage and the village that has become so important to me over the past few years
Chris has been instrumental in allowing this to happen.
I'm not blind to this fact, and I am grateful even though the mediation ended with a little sadness
The sun was warm when Mary and I stopped off at " our" Promenade cafe in Colwyn Bay on the way home
She had a sausage and I had a bacon buttie and we watched the holiday makers for a while.
She smiled , at me which is a signal that she wanted to move on
And I smiled back
" Come on Kid it' s just me and you now" I told her as she jumped into the air
And we walked down the Promenade , back to Bluebell............... together.
John I am very pleased. The village and the cottage are part of your soul. I am glad that it has worked itself out. So chuffed xx
ReplyDeleteI too am so glad for you. You deserve to stay in the village and cottage after all you have put in.
ReplyDeleteWell done John, every good wish for the future.
ReplyDeleteLove from Pam in Texas.xx
Good on Chris and you, who all along have been quick to scotch any bad words about him.
ReplyDeleteTo say I am pleased is the understatement, although I would have spared you the pain in a heartbeat.
LXX
You have come through this with grace and dignity. I'm very happy for you, being able to stay in your home. -Jenn
ReplyDeleteSums it up perfectly, Jenn
Deleteyou are an example of how these things should be handled. shit happens. bad mouthing the other side is never a good choice. in this age of the orange moron, i have had it with name calling. he shows how petty it is every single day. and you have mary, a gift from your husband. not a bad thing to end up with along with the cottage and village. good for you john!
ReplyDeleteSo, so happy that you're going to be able to remain in your home - and I don't just mean the cottage.
ReplyDeleteSadness at the ending of your relationship is natural. In days to come, you'll find the other side of the coin; gladness that it brought you to where you are now. The rollercoaster is rising up again, enjoy it.
I knew it would get better for you. I commend you for taking the high road. I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteI only read your blog occasionally, linking in sometimes from others' blogs. I just want to say that I am pleased you are able to stay in your home. When my marriage broke down the thing I regretted (other than the relationship) was having to leave the home I had loved for quite a few years. I am now happily settled in a new home (after a "make-do" property in the meantime) and I have tried very hard not to be nasty about my ex - partly for the sake of our children, but also so as not to taint the very many happy years we had together. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteIf I went to Bombay*, I would use a travel guide in preference to an escort.
Delete* = I prefer the old name.
It is laudable that both you and Chris have managed to bring things to a sensible conclusion in a fairly amicable manner in spite of the emotional injury you suffered. Keep on keeping on old chap.
ReplyDeleteI know how painful and sad this must have been for you but well done for getting through it without nastiness and bad feeling. Wishing you a happy future in your lovely cottage and village.
ReplyDeletexx
ReplyDeleteYou have emerged victorious after a year filled with sadness and uncertainty. I have watched frim the sidelines, cheering you on every step of the way. So happy that you will stay in your lovely cottage in beautiful Trelawnyd ... your home. You are a good man John. You deserve all this... and so much more!
ReplyDeleteWhat a day of mixed emotions for you John. You have been, and continue to be an inspiration. Thankyou for sharing the most awful year of your life with us with humour and dignity. I am so glad to see you come through it with a new job, your old home, and hopefully a brighter future.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes to you, and to Chris in his new life.
John, I am so very happy for you. Not the least because thru a very difficult time you were honorable in your dealings with Chris and allowed no bad-mouthing to happen in "your" situation.
ReplyDeleteYou did the right thing.
Much love and many good wishes going out to you.
Joyce in Indiana
It is wonderful news that you get to stay in the cottage. It is where you belong! The cloud of uncertainty that has been hanging over your head has now lifted. Hurrah!!! x
ReplyDeleteAll the best dear John - may life now move along with only good things happening for you each day, month, year. With the village remaining your home, and the cottage your 'heart', all will be fine I'm certain.
ReplyDeleteYou took the hard path that leads to more peace and happiness later but in the interim requires you to dig deep for the very best of yourself when it would be far easier to be ugly and hurtful. WELL DONE!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear all this lovely news. New start, old goodbyes, moving forward. It's been a long time coming but it's looking good now. x
ReplyDeleteIt makes me happy to know you are better and brighter. And that you are able to remain in the village where you belong. X
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that you get to remain in the cottage, it seems to be a perfect fit for you, there will be many happy neighbours. I also feel empathy for you, the end of a relationship is almost like a death sometimes.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading about your adventures on a new path in life. Hugs!
Very long time reader but not one to comment often. This post brings tears to my eyes (I'm very sensitive). You are such a good and kind man. You deserve all the good and positive things that life brings your way from now on. Well done.
ReplyDeleteLizzie
A parting wherein those involved decided to play fair in a dignified manner, well done! To do less would say each had chosen to spend those past years with one of no worth. Your Mary,Winnie,Albert,home, and being part of your village are precious, may you go forward enjoying the gifts they daily bring into your life.- Mary
ReplyDeleteGrace and dignity exuding from you John - sending vibes for good things and real happiness in both your futures
ReplyDeleteWords of courage in a brave, poignant posting, JayGee. I'm very touched by it - as I've no doubt your ex would be. You deserve only the best from now on, and may it be so.
ReplyDeleteCourage, dignity and sensibility seem to be your middle names. I am very happy for you John, you deserve everything good in your life. Very best wishes and very good luck in your future. Ro xxx
ReplyDeleteGood news.From now on only good things will happen, you deserve them.
ReplyDeleteMay you both find happiness, the future is ahead, the best is yet to come.
ReplyDeleteA heartfelt band of good wishes to you, John. May your future be filled with happiness. X
ReplyDeleteJohn - going gently.
ReplyDelete“For last year's words belong to last year's language
ReplyDeleteAnd next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning." (T.S.Eliot, Little Gidding)
Perfect.
DeleteVery glad to hear that you should be able to remain in the cottage and that both of you were able to negotiate your way to a civil parting. You have done really well over a very difficult year - all the best for the future.
ReplyDeleteSo pleased for you if you get to keep the cottage. You do seem to belong there.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the mediation has concluded successfully and that you will stay in your house in Trelawnyd! Now you can truly move on to your new future, too.
ReplyDeleteWelcome home John love. You have been on a journey and are now back where you belong. We are all so relieved that you are able to stay in you cottage. You are a good and dignified man.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on making it through the fire.So happy you are able to stay where you seem so happy and suited.To infinity and beyond!
ReplyDeleteAll you want all the time is for people to say you are wonderful. A load of sycophants buttering you up all the time. Everybody has had to put up with loss without all the pathetic musing you have put out.You seem to be able to enjoy a lot more than most, a lovely family and loads of trips to theatres, cinemas and weekends ,and weeks away on holiday. so what is the problem? As for new jobs allowing you to choose when you start work I dont believe it. I think Chris had a good escape.
ReplyDeleteWhat a very cynical post, mr or mrs Unknown. It makes me wonder why you even read this blog as you so obviously hate the author. Thank goodness that 99.9% of John's followers have got to know him better and appreciate his musings and descriptions of Trelawnyd, its inhabitants and the general goings-on in his daily life.
DeleteUnknown
DeleteI will respond to your comments
"Everybody has had to put up with loss without all the pathetic musing you have put out."
NO YOU DONT...JUST DONT READ THE BLOG, YOU HAVE A CHOICE
You seem to be able to enjoy a lot more than most, a lovely family and loads of trips to theatres, cinemas
YES I HAVE A LOVELY FAMILY....YOU ARE RIGHT
THE TRIPS TO THE CINEMA AND THEATRE, I ORGANISE AND PAY FOR
"weeks away on holiday"
I WENT ON HOLIDAY FOR 4 days !!! I PAID FOR THIS BY DOING EXTRA SHIFTS!H
"As for new jobs allowing you to choose when you start work I dont believe it."
BELIEVE WHAT YOU LIKE..ITS THE TRUTH
" I think Chris had a good escape."
ONLY HE CAN TELL YOU THAT...BUTit was such a nice comment to end on.....
I suggest if reading Going Gently makes you so angry well fir the sake of your mental health , don't read it
The situation has been a rough go for everyone involved. The beauty of blogging is you can choose to share or not share the ups and downs. You made the choice to share and be out there in the world. Someone will read your posts and the comments and hopefully feel a little better about their own situation.
DeleteGlad you can stay in the cottage. Looking forward to the continuing (amusing) events of your village life!!
XO
Not sure why my post ended up here, but oh well!
DeleteNo more please.
Delete"Unknown" should change his or her name to "Unpleasant".
DeleteThis sounds like a petulant spoiled brat who will do anything for attention.
DeleteSad thing..to resort to being a troll.
I have deleted several posts .
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteF-off, noodle dick.
DeleteThis is wonderful news. I felt all along that you and the cottage (and village) were meant to be together and am glad that it happened.
ReplyDeleteYou are a class act!
There we are then. You stay in the Trelawnyd cottage. Perfect.
ReplyDeleteI teared up reading this but with also a feeling of happiness for you.
ReplyDeleteparsnip xx
I sure remember those harried days of mediation and negotiation when I was trying to get divorced. It started off really nasty, but two years later, we had mellowed significantly. That's the best we can hope for eh? So happy you are staying in your HOME. I managed to salvage mine in the divorce too. So thankful for that.
ReplyDeleteAfter my reply to sad, miserable, grumpy 'Unknown', I need to add that I'm so very happy that the eventual outcome has been that you get to stay in your lovely home in Trelawnyd. All the very best for your new job (for which I reckon you are ideally suited.) - Rosemary xx
ReplyDeleteAnd we are all with you John. Glad about the cottage.
ReplyDeletejust you and Mary and the village that loves you and has your back.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. On top of such difficult times it would have been so sad and difficult if you had had to leave your home and the life that you have built in Trelawnyd. You can now start a new chapter. XXXX
ReplyDeleteI am overjoyed that all went well today and that you'll be able to remain in your beloved cottage in Trelawnyd. You, Mary, Winnie, and Albert can keep on keeping on in your fine style, with Scotch eggs as needed!
ReplyDeleteHappy hugs!
It looks like you have gone thru all the stages of grief and have to the other side with some peace. Bless you, dear John.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy for you John xx
ReplyDeleteOnwards my friend. Good luck with the new job xxx
ReplyDeleteGlad your mediation is now complete. And yes, snide and negative comments are no help, they're just a childish taking-of-sides.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you can keep the cottage! Good for you for staying civil through such a difficult year. ❤
ReplyDeleteWell done both of you...you have your home, and a new job,and you can both move on in life. Here's to a good future all round.
ReplyDeleteOnwards and upwards, in every sense.
ReplyDeleteSo glad for you that you are staying in the village. Best of luck to both you and Chris for the future. You have behaved with dignity and kindness John xx
ReplyDeleteWell done, sir!
ReplyDeleteBravo...and look at her watching the world go by.
ReplyDeleteThis is very very good news. So glad that you have arrived at this new beginning. Now get those agapanthus planted.
ReplyDeleteThank you for keeping us up to date. One day you'll be waving the final papers in the air and whoopee, you'll be free.
ReplyDeleteYou are a class act, John. I'm glad you don't have to move but I know you would have dealt with it in sterling fashion if you'd had to.
ReplyDeleteNow maybe you could get some chooks!
Somebody earlier mentioned that this whole situation has been dealt with 'dignity and kindness' by yourself.l could not agree more.
ReplyDeleteBless you John, just for being you!
Much love Tess xxx
I'm sure the kids at home reminded you that you and Mary aren't alone, particularly when they smelled the remnants of sausage on lips. That aroma is sure to cause suspicion in the mind of any sausage lover. Winnie has my deepest sympathy at such treachery.
ReplyDeleteA brilliant week for you Mr Gray x
I'm so glad you get to stay in the cottage in Trelawnyd! I know it's home for you. Onwards and upwards!
ReplyDeleteWonderful news! I am so very happy for you. It broke my heart to think that you might would have to leave your home. Things are truly working out!!
ReplyDeleteAnd there it is ... a door closed gently and with dignity. Both parties moving forwards after a tough year.
ReplyDeleteThat you have chosen to share it with us has been, I hope, helpful. Letting you get things down in black and white, get things off your mind and out in the open. You've been brave through your heartache and a real gentleman.
Keep going gently into your future it's been waiting patiently. ♥️
Oh Sue, how beautifully put.
DeleteTotally agree, and here's to a lovely future for you. You have worked hard for it
DeleteThe thought of you having to leave that cottage made my heart hurt. I am so happy you'll be staying.
ReplyDeleteMoving forward with your head held high....
ReplyDeleteYou're a good guy John. Take on the future with your head held high x
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you can stay in your cottage in Trelawnyd, John! That's it, nothing else, just really happy for you x
ReplyDeleteHugs x
ReplyDeletePhew, I am so delighted to read this.
ReplyDeleteWe read your blog because we like and love you and have supported you like a friend. You deserve happiness as you give so much to others.
I'm so glad you won't be moving because your Blog is my lovely place to visit and I love reading it x
Blessings to you - I am happy you'll be able to stay in your home in your village! Onwards and upwards to much future happiness.
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you. One door closed and another happily opened.
ReplyDeleteLovely news John, I'm so happy to read you are able to stay put in your sweet cottage, and in the midst of the villagers who genuinely care about you and your flock.
ReplyDeleteJo
Really glad things have in a way worked out for you and being able to stay in the cottage a bonus xx
ReplyDeleteYAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad for the pets and you that no move should be necessary.
ReplyDeleteHugs, and glad you are able to stay put.
ReplyDeleteTake care of you,
Cat.
I've been so impressed at how you've handled yourself in difficult circumstances, John. I am glad you are able to stay in your home and village, and am grateful to Chris for his part in that. Hurtful comments and feelings only demean the value of the relationship that once was.
ReplyDeleteTruly an impressive outcome and a new page turning. Kudos to you for doing the hard work.
Such good news John I could jump for joy but my knees won't let me, you did it came out the other end with dignity and grace.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever get out Arizona USA way please let me know....always have an extra room.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you’re staying! So happy you feel This is a chapter that’s closed now.
ReplyDeleteI’d give you a bear hug, but I’m not much of a bear, dearheart.
XoXo
I am so glad to read this.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got custody of the house and the kids. Onto the next volume of what I know will be a full life, that I hope has a happy ever after ending.
ReplyDeleteAn admirer in the US
I am very happy for you John and wish you the very best for the future, safe at home. xx
ReplyDeleteI don't really have the words John at the moment but you must know that I am really really pleased for you.....and look forward to having a drink and a hug x
ReplyDeleteYes, this is what life is... always moving on.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you won't have to move! All the best from Bonnie Scotland.
ReplyDeleteLesley in Livingston.
Life is beginning again for you now John. Congratulations on the new job and I'm so pleased you get to stay in your cottage. Take care xx
ReplyDeleteGreat news John for you and your little friends and to quote someone you will probably know although it is not always easy to do - "Always look on the bright side" Kia Kaha from down under.
ReplyDeleteWe are all wishing you the very best for the times ahead.
ReplyDeleteSo happy to read this. Cheers to your new chapter.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant news. Carol.
ReplyDeleteHappy for you. X Deb
ReplyDeleteFantastic! ❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words and fir your support over the past year
ReplyDeleteGood things happen to good people. I'm so pleased that you've come through it with such grace and dignity. Now get on with the rest of your life xxx
ReplyDeleteI like good news. Just perfick. xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm betting the streets of the village are thick with locals dancing their hearts out! So glad you've rounded that corner but get to stay on the one where you live.
ReplyDeleteVery happy for you John wish you all the best in the future the future is bright
ReplyDeleteLucky Trelawynd...they get to keep their favourite son!! So very happy for you John. x
ReplyDeleteHurrah! All the best John, so glad you've all come through this difficult time and can now move on. I'm sure the good folk of Trelawnyd are relieved - as are the followers of your blog!
ReplyDeleteExcellent news!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you've got the cottage! You've become an integral part of your village and they're a great support! Onward and upward!
ReplyDeleteI so happy that you get to stay where you want to be. Congratulations !!!
ReplyDeleteGlad to see that things have been resolved for you John. I hope both of you move on and end up happy in the future.
ReplyDeleteI'm very happy for you both that mediation was successful and you can both move on with dignity ...it has been a long hard road ahead but that is indeed where you and your furbabies are heading, new job bright newer future in a lovely Welsh cottage! Congrats John... have a fab future.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
So happy to hear how things worked out. You are a class act. Now, whatever you decide to do, You know the decision will be one that you have determined and not a decision that was made for you based on circumstances at the time. May you be content and find happiness in all that you do. You deserve to be happy.
ReplyDeleteGood luck moving forward. I am so glad you get to stay in the village.
ReplyDeleteI am so very glad to hear that you will be able to remain in your cottage and in your town. I hope that you will be able to take a deep breath and begin to heal now.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, John. And to Unknown, fie on you.
ReplyDeleteGreat news, John! Congratulations from Downunder :-)!
ReplyDeleteI will stand wih those who believe you have handled your trials with grace and dignity. You have taken the high ground when others might be bitter and vengeful. I wish you fair sailing in the future.
ReplyDeleteEndings can be sad, but they can also lead to happy beginnings.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie Junebug
I'm happy for you, and happy that Trelawnyd won't be losing a well loved resident.
ReplyDeleteChuck your my hero
ReplyDeleteHow terribly hard today must have been, yet you have been steadfast in keeping to the high road, a kind and gentle man. Being able to stay in your cottage, among friends and village life will be a comfort. I wish you a wonderful life filled with the happiness and love that you deserve.
ReplyDeletelizzy
Very happy for you!
ReplyDeleteIt's a beautiful part of the world John, I spent nearly 3 months based in Old Colwyn and explored much of North Wales. I am so pleased you get to stay in your lovely community and may great happiness find you again.
ReplyDeleteNow all that's over, can we please have an update on Irene. She was my mother's favourite and now she's gone I feel her breathing down my neck to find out about her damn sheep. Albert was 2nd favourite, not a dog person, my ma.
ReplyDeleteIrene is still very much alive and kicking. She has decided to live in the next field to mine with a collection of ponies and the livery stable owner although wanting her to return to me , seems content in the short term to allow her to choose the company she needs
DeleteGood news. Sending you a refined, polite, British and slightly awkwardly-managed man-hug.
ReplyDeleteYou can send me a big sweaty gay hug if u like !
DeleteAll my best wishes, John.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear your news. It'll make sleeping at nights a little easier
ReplyDeleteIs your previous plan to 'rent out a plot' in the field next door still a goer?
Glad you get to stay in your cottage :)
ReplyDeleteI’m so happy this phase s done and you can stay on in Trelawnyd in your wonderful home. Abrazos de España.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you get to stay in your home. I know it is bittersweet. I wish you happiness and Scotch eggs, flower shows and loving animals, friends and love.
ReplyDeleteBeing able to stay in a place that has brought you so much comfort is good news indeed. Best of luck moving forward.
ReplyDeleteThis wonderful Saga of YOU will go on.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations I am so glad for you that home is still going to be your lovely cottage.
ReplyDelete❤️
ReplyDeleteJust started reading your blog and spent a few hours going back and forth trying to find if I'd missed the bit after the Estate Agent had been. Over the moon that you don't have to leave your home and the pets buried in the garden. Wishing you and your furry companions every happiness.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to hear the Mediation has finalized and you'll get to stay in your Cottage and beloved Community, that is HUGE!
ReplyDeleteI'm very pleased that you have (both) crossed this threshold amicably.
ReplyDeleteWe haven't but....that's one sided
DeleteCheers for the future John. x
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteyou get to keep the little cottage with the new kitchen you love and the furkids about. and you have a new job. much love, john; you are strong.
Fantastic news regarding cottage. I couldn't imagine you anywhere else. All the best.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you and Chris were able to sort this out in a way that allowed you to stay put in the cottage and in Trelawnyd. Happy news, amid all the sadness and uncertainty. I'm glad mediation is over and you're able to move on!
ReplyDeleteGreat news John xx
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you were both able to navigate through this incredibly difficult time with kindness and hooray for you being able to stay in your home! Here's to you all finding happy and loving futures. xx
ReplyDelete