Saturday, 1 September 2018

Butch

One of my colleagues at Samaritans has the nickname of Gorgeous George*
This nickname was attributed to him by a female friend of mine who has long gone from the centre , but the name stuck....because George is indeed gorgeous, buff and a very very attractive thirty something
Now George only does occasional shifts and yesterday he worked with me.
I was his mentor when he started two years ago.
We haven't seen each other for an age, so we swapped news before we started shift
I told him I was now single
He told me that he was too
He had a long term girlfriend and children.
I had a husband and dogs.
Now we are both bachelors of the parish
We counselled each other over custard creams
" Can we have a boys night out ?" George asked passing my coffee " do you play pool?" 
" I'm a 56 year old gay ......do You think I play pool?I quipped
He nodded then added
"Netball then ?" Rather helplessly....
I liked the joke
" Pool will be fine" I told him " I'll butch up!" 
I ve never played pool in my life! 
If I have to drape myself over a pool table with one leg up , I just know I'll break wind with the force of the Queen Mary's hooter! 


* not his real name

63 comments:

  1. Well, my gentle soul. The world as you knew it changed and you are changing with it.

    I knew you'd come through with new friends, new interests and a new sense of your worth.

    Now go wash Winnie's bits.

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    1. She's on my bed snoring gently

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  2. Gorgeous George v Jocular John in the Rhyl All-Comers Pool Challenge Final. The crowd is hushed...

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    Replies
    1. And all bets are on?

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    2. The smart money is on Gorgeous George.

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  3. Is there anywhere you can have a practice first? Any friends with a table at home? We had a pool table at our last house, which the kids loved, but I was hopeless at it. Has William recovered from his car accident?

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    1. William has not quite recovered, he is on my knee as I type this and remains clingy . Lots of puddles in the house too.... I have to be patient. ......I treated him to 12 meatballs today all of his own

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    2. Oh Sweet William. I hope he will get better.

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  4. Have fun.
    Back in the day I played pool, but it has been an eon (at least). I remember it being a great game.

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  5. When I was at University I had my own Pool Cue. It is a terrific game.

    cheers, parsnip and badger

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  6. I played pool many years ago and enjoyed it. It doesn't take gross motor skills (no pun intended about your comment) and it's a lot of fun if you don't get all serious about it. A good learning experience - ha ha!

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  7. Sounds like you've had a much brigher week. You certainly seem to have a talent for keeping yourself busy. Or maybe just a talent for seeming busy? Either one makes for good blog fodder. Here's hoping the emotional rollercoaster begins to even out soon.

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    1. Alison I'm up one minute down the next ....it turns on a dime

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  8. Why don't you ask him if he can give you some pointers on playing pool. You may just find a new activity and really enjoy it. It could be a great way to get out and meet others and have fun. If Queen Mary blows it just shows an appreciation for Scotch Eggs!

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  9. Oh, you gay guys . . . *shakes head sadly* . . . Now, if you were a lesbian, you'd stride into that pool hall twirling your cue like a cocky Tom Cruise in "The Color of Money" and then wipe the table with Gorgeous George. "Butch it up" indeed.

    Have fun and yes, don't eat anything gassy before you go.

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    Replies
    1. Cosigned. :^)

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    2. Yes the best players I ever saw was the lesbian team at the Cossack pub Sheffield

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  10. Bar Skittles is more fun.

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  11. At the end of the day, whatever happens will be a laugh. Sweet of him to ask.

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    Replies
    1. He needs some company too

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  12. Don't worry too much - heterosexuality isn't catching (I've found through many years) - just like homo isn't, in fact.

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  13. Pool is fun! For amateurs and pros! It's always better to play with people who are better than you, because they have good advice and you learn new tricks!

    Don't force or jerk your cue. A tap--just a smooth stroke. And have fun!

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  14. Here in New Zealand Netball is very popular - international tests and the provincial series are televised live. It is also huge with social sport, and most social teams are mixed. Do I like to play it - no way. I loathe participating in any sport! I hope you have a fun night out and many laughs. With care, Michelle in Wellington,NZ.

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  15. Breaking wind is probably one of the unwritten rules for playing pool!

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  16. I've played pool a few times as there was a pool table at my boarding school. But I never did get the hang of it. To this day I couldn't tell you what all the different colours mean. And are pool, snooker and billiards all the same thing?

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  17. Glad to hear you are making new friends. Netball ha ha ha !

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  18. You always find the perfect metaphor John - love Queen Mary's Hooter.

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  19. Another new friend...how lovely! Enjoy the pool , and the company! X

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  20. Thanks for this morning's laugh. xx

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  21. You make friends easily.Keep going. x

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  22. I read this out loud to Alan, who was in stitches. We both agree this has got to be included in your book. The book: write it diary style, with sketchy illustrations ... I can just see the sketch for this one, you one leg on the pool table with a green cloud at your nether regions with 'pfft' in a speech bubble ... if Alan thinks so too you should definitely write a book. Get a couple of chapters written out, find someone to do some amusing sketches to accompany them and send them off to local Welsh publishing houses or literary agents.

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    1. Sue, I totally agree with you! I'd buy this book!

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  23. Get out and go for it...and pass the gas!

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  24. Oh, you'll have fun anyway! It's a silly game if you can't play but after a couple of drinks you'll (think you'll) be playing like a champion - it's amazing how the fine motor skills work better under the influence.

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  25. Anonymous11:18 am

    Well that made me laugh out loud, you’ve still got a fabulous sense of humour, Jo

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  26. cool; enjoy and fart proudly!

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  27. Could you not come to a compromise? Subbuteo?

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  28. A zip line daredevil, a Paul Newman pool shark! Who knew. Have fun.

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  29. On the zip line we will hear . . .
    “ . . . force of the Queen Mary’s hooter.”
    Oh my . . .
    What fun you are . . .

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  30. Just play like a girl. They don't put legs on the table. I daresay they fart.

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  31. An Italian boyfriend from Brooklyn taught me to play pool when I was 20-
    some time after that, he told me he had created a monster.
    I am a pretty good pool player :)

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    Replies
    1. I need to learn me thinks

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  32. I hope the gorgeous man gets to see his children regularly and there is still happiness in his life.

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    1. Yes, I think he will have 50 50 custody which seems admirable as he works full time

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    2. Oh John, Admirable? How many single mothers work full time and have full time care of their children. Good for George, he is way ahead of the game ie alternate weekends and half the hols which seems the norm even in the most amicable splits.

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    3. Point taken ..

      .i knew I'd written it wrong immediately

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  33. Barbara Anne2:54 pm

    What a word picture - and before I'd had my coffee!

    Enjoy your evening out but be sure not to dig the pool cue into the surface of the pool table!

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  34. I played pool once in a bar in Aix-les-Baines and rather surprised everybody, including myself, by winning easily. I was told I made it all look rather elegant....

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    Replies
    1. Bet you were wearing your long black coat and swished a lot

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  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  36. going all kinds of crazy now you are single...zipline, pool, what next?

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  37. "what next?" Skateboarding ? :)

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  38. Fun post today John and like many before me a good one for the book.

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    1. Yes well we must get ourselves up sometimes

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  39. Anonymous9:03 pm

    Re the need for led draping, you are getting confused between a pool table and a snooker table. No leg draping required at pool. Much smaller table

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    1. Like I hinted..what do I know

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  40. I used to play netball many years ago. I still have the scars to prove it!x

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  41. My father’s family had pool tables, almost as long as they had him. One of his earliest memories was his mother getting tipsy at a Christmas party and dancing on the pool table. I gave that table away when I cleaned out his house last year. Make a memory.

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  42. If you were here, I would take you to Trax, a long-standing gay pool hall in the Haight. You'd get the hang of it in no time and have some good chats with the bar patrons, I'd expect.

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