Friday, 17 August 2018

Out


I needed to get out of the village this afternoon.
After giving William a painkiller and three cocktail sausages, I settled him down for a sleep on my bed then washed my face, shaved donned a clean shirt ( not one of my Walking Dead T shirts) and took myself out to a busier place.
I did some banking, saw a financial advisor , gossiped with Nu briefly and bought a quality newspaper which I read cover to cover as I treated myself to lunch at a sweet little coffee shop staffed by an even sweeter bearded barista
No big shakes.
No company
No angst conversations
Just a little moment where I felt a tad more f*cking human

87 comments:

  1. Good to hear this x

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  2. Lisa R9:10 pm

    Sounds wonderful, Do It more often. Xx

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    1. I intend to..we all should

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    2. we all should...yes

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  3. Cheered me up . . .
    Sounds like it was a great plan . . .

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  4. Good thinking over there in the West.
    Give that dear doggy a hug from me - oh and take one for yourself. Wish I was near enough to give it in person to both rather than virtual ones.

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    1. You are a constant source of support old gal

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  5. What a great idea, I'm glad you did you that for yourself. There has to be a limit on how much care and devotion you give to your animals and people. You're no use to anyone if you don't take care of your self. - Mary

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    1. I needed to feel in one tiny way urban

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    2. Impossible to put a limit on how much care and devotion you give to your animals. People? - they can wait. Take good care of yourself and your pets John, things will improve and one day you'll look back on all this rubbish and be done with it. Better stuff on the horizon.

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  6. I can relate to that x

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    Replies
    1. I know..I think we are a bit like twins at the mo

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  7. Good for you. These experiences are absolutely necessary. Hugs to you and William.

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    Replies
    1. He's back in my bed , this time under the duvet

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  8. Nice one. Will do you good. Just cuz life is throwing up lemons at the minute does not mean you have to suck them up. Make lemonade..... glad William is okay and glad you are getting there. Hugs Tricia

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  9. You cannot pour from an empty vessel - ask me how I know that :)
    Love from Galloway

    S

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  10. Sounds like just what was needed.

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  11. I've been there too. Getting out is usually the best option. It does get better. X

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  12. Anonymous10:01 pm

    What was the quality newspaper? Inquiring minds want to know.
    Traveller

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    1. A sensible read not a rag

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    2. And no , just you wanted to know

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    3. The Telegraph.

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  13. Sounds like an excellent outing. Positive.

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    1. Yes, I'm tired of crying albeit briefly every single day since Easter

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  14. I've not seen any of your Walking Dead shirts. Maybe post a video of them laid out or add to the photos on the side?

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    1. That will reduce my readership effectively by half

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  15. Good. Mind you, your humanity (warts, farts and all) is what keeps so many of us coming back. Despite the way you have been feeling you are intensely human. Hugs.

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    1. I'm getting a little tired posting negative posts recently

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    2. Well, we write about what we're going through. And you know- it helps others who are going through hard times not to feel alone. And it allows others who have been there too (which is all of us, really) and who have come out the other side to say with authority that yes, things will get better.

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    4. I am boring myself msmoon xx

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    5. You're not boring us though. It helps to share the rubbish stuff.

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  16. Anonymous10:54 pm

    Talk of relaxation and Walking Dead t shirts John, as an aficionado I wondered if you knew that the Walking Dead spinoff series, Fear the Walking Dead started on free to air E4 last week?

    P.

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    1. It's not interested me from the get go, but John Doe and the new characters look promising

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    2. Anonymous11:18 pm

      Similar thoughts - not sure if worth investing time in, although I understand that there is a crossover with WD further down the line...h'mm

      P.

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    3. John, I can honestly say that as The Walking Dead got tiresome with the Neegan crap, Fear the Walking Dead actually got better. But my opinion, better to watch the current season than the haphazard and painfully slow and unengaging first few seasons. This season rocks with Morgan and the new characters.

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  17. happy for a good day...for William cozy in your bed as you go about leaving your comfort zone...it's a roller coaster for sure...hugs

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  18. A sweet bearded barrister is what you need right now, not bloody coffee.

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    Replies
    1. That's exactly what I thought, too.

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    2. I thought it too but he was thirty years my junior

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    3. Was that a play on words and he actually meant you need yourself a good lawyer?

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    4. I saw it ......we've already had the conversation xx

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  19. I hope I got the right spot this time. Screw the lemonade! Take those lemons and make a few daiquiris!
    I like the looks of that coffee shop. So cheery and welcoming. A perfect mood lifter.

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    1. It was..... it was a lovely lift

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  20. Oh dear poor William! I just read the post he had an accident, and I do hope all is well as could be and recoops quickly. And I'm pleased that you got out for a bit and had a good day for yourself. You deserve it! Good views, too, is always nice.

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  21. Time and being good to yourself, will make all the difference.

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  22. "Yes, I'm tired of crying albeit briefly every single day since Easter"

    The morning you wake up with a feeling of interest in meeting the day and going out into life again is coming .. it is a good feeling. It just takes time for some wounds to heal.
    Life will never be exactly the same although some things will return the same, but there is no reason to think Life might not be so much more Fabulous than before and that you should look forward to it with anticipation .. Good Times Ahead, sweetheart ..
    C

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  23. Sounds like the best of all worlds...for the moment.

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  24. Barbara Anne12:44 am

    It's always good to treat yourself well and that coffee shop looks like the perfect place to start.

    Good idea! Nice you left William cozy, comfy, and well medicated. There are some times in life when better living through chemistry is essential. This is one of those times for William and perhaps for you.

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  25. You picked a lovely coffee to de-stress.

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  26. Absolutely the most positive thing I've heard that you've done. A good cup of Coffee rules. Carry on!

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  27. Good. You are being kind to yourself. Such treats are important as you continue to move on.

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  28. Xxoo, from my hospital bed.Race you to the finish.I cannot walk;you can.

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  29. The cafe looks like a terrific pick-me-up place. Well chosen!

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  30. Sounds like a nice break. You deserve a bit of "normalness" . As they say, when it rains, it pours.Hoping for some sunny weather for you.

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  31. I know that kind of emotional, spirit-crushing tiredness from experience but it does ease. I just realized that this week marks 17 years since my 31 year marriage imploded. At the time I couldn't see a future. In time I realised I had to put down the anger and grief I was carrying around and slowly things got better. Not perfect just different. Be kind to yourself. Look at that bucket list you posted a long time ago and tick something off the list.

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  32. That's an attractive spot to park and feel human. I need to get out quite often, not to see people up close but just to feel a part of the human race. Usually I go to the thrift store, though - not nearly as civilized as what you did :) Hugs, friend.

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  33. Every marriage ends for a different reason.

    When my first marriage ended, it was exactly as you describe. The tears, the sense of loss friends, family, just a life I thought we had both enjoyed.

    But when it's all done and dusted, most people really didn't care that much. The first few weeks are the worst, with people finding out and suddenly "friends" wanting to chat for gory details.

    The rest of the people in my life soon lost interest. The hardest part of it all is relearning to put yourself first. Your needs, your interests, your circle.

    You're already there, you are just aching and mourning the loss of what you thought was your future.

    Make a new future, one that revolves around you.

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  34. I'm happy William is recovering well and you had a nice day out to treat yourself. It's important to be kind to yourself, especially when life gets rough.

    The place looks cool and charming. Is that the barista's beard in the picture? She looks nice.

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  35. You make holding onto sanity sound effortless. I've no doubt it's been testing you severely but what you've been going through - and still are - would have crushed many other mere mortals, self incl, long before now. Your inner strength, encapsulated in postings such as this, truly is a wonder to witness.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, and love to Will - and respect to you.

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    2. Anonymous6:13 am

      What Ray said.
      Love from Amsterdam

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  36. Ones emotional roller coaster is exhausting as well as painful. This visit to normalcy is another step in what is a bumpy road to your different future..it is a good thing.

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  37. When my x walked out, I was driving children to school, came back and he had left a message on the answer machine.
    People knew, his money people knew, friends didn't. I had to tell some forgot others. What was painful was he thought we could be best friends after saying I don't want a sick old ugly wife. All his golfing friends were on wife #2 and #3 all younger.

    As you said It is very tiring. What he is thinking who knows. After a while you just have to live. After the year it does get better.
    I was 62 when he left it was hard. I had two children in University and then another by the time I signed the divorce papers. Finding the money was hard. I sold my home that I loved, said goodby to my friends that I loved and left the town I wanted to live in. I left with the children, my dogs a Japanese Kitchen God and my car move to Tucson and got on with my life.
    The first year is the hardest.

    cheers, parsnip and badger

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  38. I admire your strength John. If it was me I would hide under the quilt with the dog and never come out.

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  39. Anonymous6:04 am

    Thank heaven for Nu.

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  40. I love my family, my husband, but I also love being alone. Eating alone with a good book at my side is heaven to me. Keep doing the self-care things John, they are essential.

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    1. Pardon me for saying so but that's a different kind of 'alone'.

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  41. I love your honesty.I love Hipster baristas.I hate that you're going through all this crap at the hands of another human being. Shame on them all who are doing this to you.xxx

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    1. Ps Meant to say I love William. He's always been my fav.xx

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  42. “When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions” This certainly seems to be happening to you at the moment. I hope William is recovering well and remember John that everything passes sooner or later.
    Briony
    x

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  43. Thinking of you ( and William) with love. xx

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  44. ‘This too will pass, as all such things must pass’. Sooner or later you’ll find you haven’t cried for a while - doesn’t mean you won’t do it again in future, it’s a gradual process. Meanwhile be as kind to yourself as you can. And please keep posting, I admire your honesty. When I was going through this it would have helped me enormously to read about this- you may be helping someone who’s reading this but not posting.

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  45. Good for you John....sending you supportive hugs. I went to the cricket with two friends and drank wine and laughed. Better times to come x

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  46. It's great that you have that opportunity close by. Happy you're able to make the effort and looking forward to the day when life becomes easier (at least sometimes) again.

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  47. A virtual hug John. That's all I can send.

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  48. Anonymous10:01 am

    Good on you a nice trip into town hopefully you will do this more often John, give William and the rest of the gang a hug. cheers Margo

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  49. I need to do this too. x

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  50. Why no pictures of the barista?! :)

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  51. This should be a weekly occasion, well not the financial advuce, but the good paper, the lunch out sans dogs, the gossip with Nu ... and eyeing up the local talent 🙂

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