Tuesday, 10 April 2018

Have You Ever Punched A Viking?

Mostyn Art Gallery

I had planned to drag all of the damaged old hen houses into the centre bonfire of the field today but the weather is so atrocious , I gave that up as a bad job.
It feels like a museum mooch day but as these are few and far between in Wales I have had to settle for a visit to the Mostyn Art Gallery . 
Tonight I'm going to see a Japanese movie thriller The Third Murder 

As I sit here having a flat white I remember a trip to a museum which went titsup after the person I was with punched a Viking in a display from Ye Olde York!
The museum was  in York and my companion was a paranoid schizophrenic out on a day trip.
Luckily for all involved the Viking in question was a waxwork dummy and not a jobbing actor .

I guess I was primarily to blame as I sort of knew that the patient had a thing about red hair, but the penny failed to drop after we entered the reincarnation of ancient York with realistic depictions of Viking home life and were suddenly surrounded by a plethora of ginger Scandinavian types.

The museum didn't have a security guard as I recall, just a matronly usher who was no use in helping me disengage schizophrenic from ginger dummy.
My patient got four punches in and effectively decapitated the exhibit before I dragged him away by his coat collar.

That was the last time I took a psychiatric patient out in public
December 1988



62 comments:

  1. I'm glad I'm neither Ginger, nor a Viking. You never know what might happen.

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  2. I prefer blonde Vikings .
    I have been out with madmen before but yours takes the cake :)

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  3. So glad I don't have red hair. I live with a descendant of vikings. I've never punched him... nor any of his relatives (although I've sometimes been tempted).

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    1. Have you pillaged any?

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  4. It sounds like an interesting visit,though.

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  5. I laughed. It does sound like a good display, but I guess you were a little distracted.

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  6. Oh, John. This is funny/not funny. How horrible it must be to live in a world which is so deceptive.

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    Replies
    1. Perhaps it was just devilment on his part

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  7. A perfectly natural reaction, especially after the Vikings visit at Lindisfarne.

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    Replies
    1. As I recall the dummy looked like Kirk Douglas

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  8. I think you should skip the book and go straight into movie rights.

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  9. Well, thank goodness it wasn't a REAL person with red hair -- though I suppose in that case the person could at least have fought back!

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  10. The Mostyn is a little more calm compared to that!

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    Replies
    1. It was lovely. I was the only person there

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  11. I wonder if he got any satisfaction from his victory, even briefly... I have red hair,it's had its challenges, especially as a kid.

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  12. Good thing Lucille Ball wasn't there.

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    1. The best comment of the night

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  13. Sounds to me as though it is a good job you have retired. What is going to happen to all your remaining animals (obviously not including dogs and cat in this).

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    Replies
    1. I only have Irene left pat.. she is being adopted by sue who is a fellow blogger..I am eternally grateful to her

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  14. Love the photo of the Mostyn Art Gallery.
    I always wanted red hair... not sure now.
    Very interested in what you think of "The Third Murder"

    cheers, parsnip

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    Replies
    1. I will blog a review tomorrow xx

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  15. The whole time I re-read your story, the Bennie Hill theme song was playing in my mind and the visual was a sped up comedy sketch! Good times!!

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    1. The soundtrack to my life

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  16. Anonymous4:45 pm

    No, not kissed one either. Too much hair and stale testosterone!

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  17. Oh dear, I had to giggle.

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  18. After all the marauding, rape and pillage what more do they expect... dummies!?!

    LX

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  19. must be the horns on the helmet. pretty scarey

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  20. Anonymous7:19 pm

    Hey relax, every week I take my profoundly autistic son out. It’s a gamble. He deserves to go out, the public, mostly, deserve to be punched, my son does not need the help of plod. Oy vey, that is my life.

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    Replies
    1. I once got slapped hard by an Autistic boy in the queue at the petrol station once

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  21. Old feuds are still raw up North.

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  22. This made me chuckle. My son, a more gingery ginger you cannot hope to meet is a support worker for vulnerable adults. He is also the 'hard case' Mr Mckay type. Not cruel or nasty, just takes no shit whatsoever. The most challenging Service User comes out of his room in the evening to start something, sees son sitting on the stairs, says hello *insert name here* and goes back to his room. Any house damage always happens when son is not on shift.
    He used to get a bit battered when he started 5 years ago but is pretty good at avoidance techniques now.

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  23. Anonymous8:11 pm

    Challenging service users happen to be people who most people have binned off. Just be very certain that people are not using your son to intimidate people who need help. Been there, done this, got the tee shirt, there is no room for machismo in care.

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    1. How I wish that more people could/would accept that.

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    2. In agreement with Anon and Elephant's Child . . .

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    3. The other support workers (apart from manager/deputy manager are good caring people, just not as focussed or pre-emptive, that is why 'stuff' happens when son is off shift. Paramedics etc are always happy with son's paperwork for medical issues and the families admire his dedication to their adult children. He works in a house where challenging adults live away from home but are unable to live independently.
      He started this job as a voluntary befriender for an adult with the abilities of an 8yr old. This was after his own mental health issues (now resolved).
      Thanks John, he is a good bloke.
      Anon - a lesser machismo man you could not meet and none of the service users are "binned off"

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  24. Oops. That poor man. I hope that while you didn't take him he continued to get out.

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    1. I don't even remember his name now

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  25. I am the genuine article a real cochyn mochyn. And therefore I learned the hard way to be a Welsh Viking. I punched back. Two for every one I got. It did me a lot of good in the long run I can tell you.

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    Replies
    1. I have had a ginger beard if that helps

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    2. I see you on the prow of your longboat sighting the coast of Newfoundland. There was a theory going round a few years ago that people with red hair genes are semi-Neanderthals.

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  26. I've never punched a Viking but I do remember visiting the Jorvik Viking Centre in York over thirty years ago. It was very cutting edge at the time with sounds and smells and robots; I thought it was great.

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    1. Real shit smell as I recall

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    2. A bit too realistic for my liking, John!

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  27. Oh dear, I know I shouldn't but I did laugh.

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  28. I would not punch one as I have not got a lot of arm strength-but I once squirted a rude man with a soda syphon x

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  29. This brought back memories! I took a group of 6th grade boys to a nearby university for a campus tour. The library had Chinese terra cotta warriors that I thought would interest the boys. We entered the elevator to take us up to the 4th floor and when the doors opened we got an eagle's view of nudes which caused mayhem I can tell you! I hustled them past and later we walked the four floors down to ground level.

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  30. I assisted a friend who took some challenged teenagers out for a visit to the cinema. One of them rolled down the window of the car and would yell out " Help - I'm being kidnapped". Love having to explain that to the police.

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  31. Oh John I love reading the comments on your posts. I remember being asked to stop my young boy touching paintings in the National Gallery. I apologised to the guard and explained that we had recently watched The Thomas Crown affair. At that age, Joe acted out a lot of films we watched, perhaps touching the country's stunning collection of paintings pretending to steal them was not the best game to play !

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  32. As somebody said, good job it was just a museum exhibit he was attacking and not a real visitor with flaming red hair. I wonder what he had against people with red hair?

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  33. My Grandson has the most beautiful hair I've ever seen, it's wavy and like spun copper, it's gorgeous!
    My family are direct descendents of Vikings, so there's no surprise there really, he also has wonderful bright blue eyes!
    Pity help anyone who 'has a go' at him if this proud nan is present, my Viking Warrior Queen would come to the fore! X

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  34. My second criteria for where I wanted to live was museums, it is so nice having them nearby. Your work was good training for walks with a love-sick bulldog.

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  35. I've never had a problem with red hair.

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  36. My husband is of Viking decent and has the Viking curse!! Apparently the tendon to the middle finger of the hand over the years shortens and becomes very thick, so much so that the middle finger cannot straighten to the extent where the middle finger can/may curl to the palm and not be able to be straightened at all. Hubbys uncle had it and as it was many years ago.. had the middle fingers on both his hands removed. These days its a better deal for the 'cursed' Viking decendants and an operation has been perfected to release the tendon. Red hair he never has had... he was my blonde surfer boy :) now peppered gray but still gorgeous

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  38. So funny- thank you!!!

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