Wednesday, 11 April 2018

Eve

"Hi John, one of the Sec’s has asked me to pass on the following. Len H (Eve H's husband) has contacted us and asked if a message can be got to you, to inform you that Eve sadly passed away a couple of weeks ago. If you would like to know about funeral arrangements he is happy for you to contact him on  ( telephone no) ta Sxx"

I haven't worked on the spinal injury unit in Sheffield for over twelve years and hadn't cared for Eve for a good 25 years but this sad little message floated to me through the Internet from my old friend and matron this afternoon.

Eve was one of my favourite patients. A party mom with a nice family , she dived into a neighbour's pool after a couple of gin and tonics and on a hot summer's day she broke her neck.
She was paralysed from the shoulders down and I was one of her named nurses during her difficult rehabilitation .

We became friends.

Despite her injury she remained very much the party animal . Gin and tonics continued to be quaffed but adapted cups with palm straps had to used rather than the best crystal .
Carers wrote her letters that accompanied her Christmas cards to me and when she was re admitted to the unit where I was now Charge Nurse, I would pop into her room and wipe away her tears of frustration at having a urology problem or a pressure sore.

I hadn't seen her since we came to Wales but she had always kept in touch albeit infrequently and I was touched that her ex husband had remembered me.

All this kind of caught me unawares this afternoon.
And the woman who came to buy the last of my hen houses said exactly the wrong thing
" I enrolled in the first of your " how to look after chickens" courses " she said " you were very patient with me when you taught me to clip your hens wings..you were very sweet..." 
It was a nice complement , a simple one. But my thoughts were elsewhere and after she had gone I had a walk around the field with Irene in tow.

And had a brief weep


66 comments:

  1. You still are very sweet. I hope that's not the wrong thing to say. But obviously, Eve would have agreed with both me and your hen house's new owner.

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    1. Perhaps I'm just a bit sensitive today

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  2. John, difficult in all sorts of ways. Drop me a line if you like, and if not, thoughts heading your way my friend.

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    1. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor ODUMODU brought back my husband that separated with me for one good year. Am ALENNA by name from ROMANIA. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor ODUMODU for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for one year and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor ODUMODU. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor ODUMODU said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him...Emil:drodumodusolutions@gmail.com

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  3. John, I am sorry to hear about the passing of someone you helped heal and care for. That she kept in touch and her husband reached out is a testament to your caring, skills, and your generosity. You had a very positive and lasting impact on this family. That's a wonderful thing.

    In times of sorrow that come with the passing of loved ones, I often think of the old Eskimo proverb:

    "Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy."


    I hope you enjoyed the comfort of Irene's company in the beauty of the wide open spaces. Peace and serenity and much strength to you and all who were moved by Eve.

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    1. She followed me like a dog.....hoping for cheap white bread

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  4. Sometimes it is that last straw that opens the dam.
    I teared up reading this.

    cheers, parsnip

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  5. Hugs John. I'm just catching up on your last few posts and wanted to wish you all the best with future plans. You're going to be busy but having spent the last fifteen years in the back of beyond, I really do understand the need for your move. Looking forward to the next chapter in your lives. Take care xx

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  6. You have a lot all going on at once, havent you. Moving and selling and the uncertainty coupled with sad events will trigger a lot of emotion. As Eroswings said, it is a testament to your care of that family. You have touched many lives.

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  7. We are bound more tightly to some people than others, are we not? Take care, John.

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  8. You've had a sad day John. I'm sorry.

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  9. Days like this are just to be gotten through as best as you can.
    I find seeking the company of listeners who don’t really advise but they are a comfort ...the best, for me, are the cats and no humans.
    Also a long solitary walk helps blow away a lot of the emotions that are banging away inside.
    At least it works for me, today .

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  10. I’m sorry, John. You are in my thoughts today.

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  11. It is amazing that people like Eve learn to live with such paralysis. Most admirable.

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    1. I've always been amazed too at the human ability to cope

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  12. you are in mourning for what was (eve), and what is currently being dismantled (your home). have a good weep.

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  13. These things just punch you in the gut.

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  14. Sometimes those tears need to fall. Take care of yourself my dear. Xx

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  15. It is both wonderful and hard to be human.

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    1. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor ODUMODU brought back my husband that separated with me for one good year. Am ALENNA by name from ROMANIA. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor ODUMODU for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for one year and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor ODUMODU. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor ODUMODU said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him...Emil:drodumodusolutions@gmail.com

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  16. Yes, sometimes something will set off much needed tears and it helps. x

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  17. Of course you had a little weep. Which is a tribute to Eve. And you.

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  18. Everyone needs a good cry. Clearly you meant a lot to Eve and her family. Give yourself the gift of letting your emotions out. Big hugs to you.

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  19. You put so much good out into the world, some of it eventually comes back around even if that can be a bit sad xoxo

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  20. Oh, that is sad. Sweet memories.

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  21. oh my....a tough day. I am always reminded of the words "we could have missed the pain but we have missed the dance"....take care.

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    1. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor ODUMODU brought back my husband that separated with me for one good year. Am ALENNA by name from ROMANIA. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor ODUMODU for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for one year and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor ODUMODU. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor ODUMODU said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him...Emil:drodumodusolutions@gmail.com

      Delete
  22. You are a good man, John Gray. I am glad you were able to have a weep. Sometimes the heart just overflows and you have to.

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    1. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor ODUMODU brought back my husband that separated with me for one good year. Am ALENNA by name from ROMANIA. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor ODUMODU for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for one year and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor ODUMODU. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor ODUMODU said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him...Emil:drodumodusolutions@gmail.com

      Delete
  23. You have made a wonderful positive differerence for Eve and her family I'm sure,when she was so poorly x

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  24. A “touch back” of memories like that of your gin/tonic/patient/friend is a heart tugger . . . brought me to some tears for you.

    Melancholy day for me today as I drove home from an appointment . . .
    Sun was bright, finally a warmer day and memories floated back of a different time, year and loved ones no longer here . . .

    You were “golden” for her. Sweet of her husband to get a message to you . . .

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  25. You must have made quite an impact on her life, and her family, for them to call you with the news of her passing.

    You're a good man, sir, a good man indeed.

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    1. Several patients at that time made an impact on my life

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  26. I don't know what to say, except how sad all the way around.

    Sometimes a brief weep helps, though. You're a good man, John Gray.

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    1. Too soft perhaps ?

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    2. there is no such thing as too soft

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    3. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor ODUMODU brought back my husband that separated with me for one good year. Am ALENNA by name from ROMANIA. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor ODUMODU for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for one year and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor ODUMODU. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor ODUMODU said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him...Emil:drodumodusolutions@gmail.com

      Delete
  27. You always remember the great nurses.

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  28. Memories of Eve a strong willed lady who lived 25 years with her struggles and her live was made better by knowing you John and a husband who remembers and then a visitor who thanked you for your patience and kindness John, a fitting testament to you as a person, no wonder you had a good cry.

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  29. Oh, John, you are a sweet caring man.... Sending hugs from Wisconsin.

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  30. If you are open to it, consider yourself virtually hugged.

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  31. I can only imagine the impact a kind heart and compassionate nurse would have had on someone going through something as life altering and traumatic as paralysis. It takes a special person to do that kind of job. Bittersweet memories. Take care, John. -Jenn

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  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  33. I have a hard and fast rule 'If you consume alcohol, you don't go near the pool'. You have confirmed my insistence.

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  34. Don’t think there is a man, woman or child that doesn’t think John Gray is a diamond geezer...

    LX

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  35. You're a sweetheart and a very good and kind man (and, yes, I know you're no saint). What a gift to be remembered so fondly after all these years.

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  36. Big hugs to you John, I'm not surprised you had a little cry, I would to.xx

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  37. You make a real positive difference in the world and in the lives of the people and other creatures you meet, Do take care, crying is a good thing.

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  38. You were a very important person in her life, at a very difficult time and you obviously formed a bond. It's a testament to you that she and her husband remembered you, as you are such a lovely, caring man.

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  39. Thanks for telling us about Eve. She made an impact on your life and yours on hers. Thank you for caring so much about people. x

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  40. Poignant... nothing stands still and when we lose a fighter for life like your ex patient and friend the world seems to rush at us all at once.
    Enjoy your day John..Eve sounds like the sort of person that would not want you to be sad Xx

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  41. All I can say is I'm sorry.

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  42. Making connections is so important and yet so painful sometimes. We all can have such an impact on one another's lives; sometimes known, sometimes not.

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  43. Funny how certain memories of people from the past can evoke such heartfelt emotion. Eve was just one of those people. As you were to her.

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  44. THIS post is exactly why I like you so much, John. You have heart and empathy and soul and aren't afraid to admit it. xoxo

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  46. I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor ODUMODU brought back my husband that separated with me for one good year. Am ALENNA by name from ROMANIA. Even though i have mouths all over my body, it won't be enough to thank Doctor ODUMODU for his help upon my life. My husband separated with me for one year and have been in pains and agony without him. So, i searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out not until i meant Doctor ODUMODU. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 48 hours as far that my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor ODUMODU said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him...Emil:drodumodusolutions@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

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