Bleeding Lidl

Like a lot of people, I have been sort of seduced by the aspirational tv adverts circulated by the Lidl chain of supermarkets. You know the type of advert I mean. Well dressed, city types, sitting in a comfortable gastro pub, all tucking into cheap but ever-so-tasty morsels washed down by a cheeky little number that only cost £5.99
Well yesterday, I decided to see for myself what all the ballyhoo was all about.
But unfortunately the Lidl in Rhyl is NOT the Lidl of the tv adverts.
Rhyl Lidl is situated in probably one of the poorest areas of North Wales and it showed.
I was decked out in a knackered pair of combats and my second best walking dead T shirt and even I felt overdressed as the very poor, mentally ill and disadvantaged of the coast did their shopping.
It was a depressing experience, even though much of the food looked ok!
I was perusing the meat counter when I caught sight of a man next to me giving me a funny look., I didnt feel like challenging him so I carried on looking at the schnitzels until he said loudly " you're bleeding"
I put my hand up to my face and almost from nowhere I was covered in blood. I had a doozy of a nosebleed.
By the time I had fished into my pockets in the futile search for a tissue I looked like Sissy Spacek from " Carrie" so I took my woolly hat off , jammed it on my nose and staggered out of the store.
No one else gave me second look.
Knackered looking middle-aged men in blood soaked Walking Dead T shirts must be two a penny in Rhyl

Now the last time , i think I had a nosebleed I was in my teens, so I pinched my nose and waited for the bloody thing to stop .....it didn't.
An hour later, after driving home one handed, my face looked like two fried eggs in a bucket of blood
And so off I went to A&E , where , after a large and painful " pack" my hemorrhage finally stopped
Several hours later!
It was almost dark when I eventually got home.
There were puddles on the kitchen floor from the dogs and because I was late, an opportunistic fox had snatched my ten year old buff orpington from  behind the hen houses and  I didnt even buy a schnitzel for my tea.