Yesterday I spied Mrs Trellis being dragged up High Street by her incredibly badly behaved border collie. Diminutive and nervy, Mrs Trellis cannot quite cope with the inevitable face off her dog Trixie has with any other canine, so she has the odd little habit of running into the nearest garden to hide so that confrontations on the main road can be kept to a minimum.
I think most people in Trelawnyd are now used to seeing the elderly lady peeping from inside their privet hedges as they watch television. It's a case of " mrs Trellis is out for a walk again" type comment when she is spied crouching behind the herbaceous border.
As I passed the garden hedge behind which Mrs Trellis had taken refuge, I heard a disembodied voice call out " hello John, are you well?"
" very well Mrs Trellis! " I called back vaguely.
I could hear her struggling with Trixie
" how's Chris?" She trilled trying to sound in control
" he's working away this weekend until Thursday "I told her
" anywhere nice ?" She asked politely.
" Calvary" I told her
There was a slightly confused silence from behind the bush
" oh!" She said
It was only when I was walking home past the church , I realized I should have said Calgary
I think most people in Trelawnyd are now used to seeing the elderly lady peeping from inside their privet hedges as they watch television. It's a case of " mrs Trellis is out for a walk again" type comment when she is spied crouching behind the herbaceous border.
As I passed the garden hedge behind which Mrs Trellis had taken refuge, I heard a disembodied voice call out " hello John, are you well?"
" very well Mrs Trellis! " I called back vaguely.
I could hear her struggling with Trixie
" how's Chris?" She trilled trying to sound in control
" he's working away this weekend until Thursday "I told her
" anywhere nice ?" She asked politely.
" Calvary" I told her
There was a slightly confused silence from behind the bush
" oh!" She said
It was only when I was walking home past the church , I realized I should have said Calgary
The one and only Mrs Trellis of Trelawnyd
Sans Trixie
So you do call her Mrs. There is only one person I now call Mr, a neighbour who happens to be English born. It rather defines your connection with someone, friendly but not friends.
ReplyDeleteMrs trellis is always referred to playfully as mrs trellis
DeleteShe even signs her Christmas and birthday cards the same way now
Another fine vignette, Mr Gray.
DeletePraise indeed from you andrew
DeleteThank you
I love where you live. If you wrote books about your village life I would buy them x
ReplyDeleteOne day hazzy......one day
DeleteI'm not laughing as it could be me in a few years. I've already started walking up peoples drive ways to avoid dog run ins and it's only a small step away from hedge hiding.
ReplyDeleteHave you a floppy hat too?
DeleteShe look an absolute darling.
ReplyDeleteJean x
She's mad as a box of frogs... But in a lovely way
DeleteI believe she was a good friend of Humphrey Lyttelton's.
ReplyDeleteHe always liked north wales
DeleteMrs Trellis controlling Trixie
ReplyDeleteHides in hedges like a pixie
Just a thought, and not too hellish
Imagine if her full name was: Trixie Trellis!
Wonderful!
DeleteWonderfulXx
Ah, your Chris is just down the road from me! It's a long weekend here (think bank holiday).
ReplyDeleteTell him you do NOT want a white Stetson as your gift.
Hold on now....a white Stetson and a super hero onesie....no, I guess you're right.
DeleteI told him to buy me a couple of cowboy neckerchefs( ?)
DeleteFor William and George
She looks like she is wearing one of my hats. x
ReplyDeleteI HAVE that hat.
DeleteRight I want lots of blogger photos with THAT hat on
DeleteI remember that picture from a previous post...she looks like such a happy person!
ReplyDeleteShe's a smiler!
DeleteWe all have "eccentric" neighbors. I only wish mine were as benign as Mrs Trellis. Mine consist of a mentally unstable bully, a crack junkie and a bunch of welfare bums.
ReplyDeleteI am sure you can deal with them.
DeleteAnd I bet they don't hide behind bushes
DeleteNo, but they light up chainsaws and dirt bikes at midnight for no dam good reason at all. Also like to build bonfires that lick the branches of trees 65 ft up in the sky. Chaos, utter chaos.
DeleteA well trained and well behaved dog is a real wonder.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you make these characters so real and wacky. Definitely want to come and live in Trelawnyd.
ReplyDeleteBet your neighbours are as nuts
DeleteJust look a little harder!
OK. You've said living with you isn't easy but I don't think Chris really needs to go to Calvary.
ReplyDeleteHe'll miss me !
DeleteJohn, there's a distinct possibility that you yourself may be considered an eccentric neighbor by the good people of Trelawnyd?
ReplyDeleteOh I dooooo hope so
DeleteJesus Christ, Calgary's not THAT bad! LOL
ReplyDeleteIt would have been a darn sight better for J.C. himself!
DeleteYes, it is. Lived there for six years. Six very long years!
DeleteLovely looking lady with a killer smile!
ReplyDeleteThat's a fine bonnet on Mrs. Trellis. Sometime around now I think, Calgary has a celebration called the Calgary Stampede, quite the cowboy event.
ReplyDeleteChris doesn't do cows
DeleteMaybe that reply gave her food for thought amid all that postcard writing. I'm sure she wouldn't have been......erm..... CROSS!
ReplyDeleteTOO funny - I actually LOL'd :)
ReplyDeleteok - this post cracked me up. I feel for poor Mrs. Trellis with her badly-behaved dog. I have one, too, although he doesn't give two hoots about anything now that he's 14. And, I lived in Calgary for 4 years so that made me laugh out loud. Hope he has a good time. I hated the place.
ReplyDeleteHe's there two days
DeleteHopefully he'll have a lovely time
Oops!
ReplyDeleteLove that photo of little Mrs Trellis. You have some lovely neighbours.
ReplyDeleteI think most of us have Molly.....we just need to meet them
DeleteI gather Chris is going to Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Calgary is 350 kilometers south of my location. Hope he has a good time. The weather is good at this time, sunny and not to hot.
ReplyDeleteI'll tell him to give you a wave
DeleteNice place, Calgary. And will Chris have a chance to explore the Rockies, since he's so close?
ReplyDeleteThere are certain locals I would like to avoid when I'm out and about. I might follow Mrs Trellis's example and hide in someone's garden if I see them coming.
He's only there two days.....so I don't think he'll even get a chance to see a cowboy!
DeleteI love your vignettes of your village life. And she is a darlin' as we would say. I adore her photo, what a wonderful smile !
ReplyDeletecheers, parsnip
She's one of those unsung little heroes that you see every day and seldome notice.
DeleteWonderful story, John. She looks like quite a character. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou capture our imagination with tales of your town and the people who live there, and it becomes a special place in our hearts, and a place we all want to visit. The local Chamber of Commerce (if you have such a thing) should pay you for putting Trelawnyd on the map. (so to speak)
ReplyDeleteSweet of you sue xxx
DeleteSounds a lot like 'Hyacinth' to me! Hanging around and in people's hedges avoiding other dogs!!
ReplyDeleteCalgary is nothing close to Calvary. It does have a beautiful backdrop of the foothills of the Rocky Mountains.
Trixie is naughty! Poor Mrs. Trellis.
ReplyDeleteI am on my way to becoming the Mrs. Trellis in my neighborhood. I just need a hat like that.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. Trixie sounds like my Elsie. Her reputation goes before her.
ReplyDeleteWe're not all cowboys in Calgary!! In fact, you probably only see 'cowboys' during the Stampede in July, unless you go to one of the cowboy bars or out to a ranch (of which there are many)! Is he here for a conference? We're going to have crappy weather for the next 2 days, 17 and 13 degrees with rain! Hopefully we will have an Indian summer which we often have in September. Hope he's enjoying himself!
ReplyDeleteCalvary is the most hilarious answer ever.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie