Saturday, 30 August 2014

Mrs Trellis in Your Garden

Yesterday I spied Mrs Trellis being dragged up High Street by her incredibly badly behaved border collie. Diminutive and nervy, Mrs Trellis  cannot quite cope with the inevitable face off her dog Trixie  has with any other canine, so she has the odd little habit of running into the nearest garden to hide so that confrontations on the main road can be kept to a minimum.
I think most people in Trelawnyd are now used to seeing the elderly lady peeping from inside their privet hedges as they watch television. It's a case of " mrs Trellis is out for a walk again" type comment when she is spied crouching behind the herbaceous border.
As I passed the garden hedge behind which Mrs Trellis had taken refuge, I heard a disembodied voice call out " hello John, are you well?"
" very well  Mrs Trellis! " I called back vaguely.
I could hear her struggling with Trixie
" how's Chris?" She trilled trying to sound in control
" he's working away this weekend until Thursday "I told her
" anywhere nice ?" She asked politely.
" Calvary" I told her
There was a slightly confused silence from behind the bush
" oh!" She said
It was only when I was walking home past the church , I realized I should have said Calgary
The one and only Mrs Trellis of Trelawnyd
Sans Trixie

62 comments:

  1. So you do call her Mrs. There is only one person I now call Mr, a neighbour who happens to be English born. It rather defines your connection with someone, friendly but not friends.

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    1. Mrs trellis is always referred to playfully as mrs trellis
      She even signs her Christmas and birthday cards the same way now

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    2. Another fine vignette, Mr Gray.

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    3. Praise indeed from you andrew
      Thank you

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  2. I love where you live. If you wrote books about your village life I would buy them x

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    1. One day hazzy......one day

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  3. I'm not laughing as it could be me in a few years. I've already started walking up peoples drive ways to avoid dog run ins and it's only a small step away from hedge hiding.

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    1. Have you a floppy hat too?

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  4. She look an absolute darling.

    Jean x

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    1. She's mad as a box of frogs... But in a lovely way

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  5. I believe she was a good friend of Humphrey Lyttelton's.

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    1. He always liked north wales

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  6. Mrs Trellis controlling Trixie
    Hides in hedges like a pixie
    Just a thought, and not too hellish
    Imagine if her full name was: Trixie Trellis!

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  7. Ah, your Chris is just down the road from me! It's a long weekend here (think bank holiday).

    Tell him you do NOT want a white Stetson as your gift.

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    1. Hold on now....a white Stetson and a super hero onesie....no, I guess you're right.

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    2. I told him to buy me a couple of cowboy neckerchefs( ?)
      For William and George

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    3. If he doesn't, PM me your mailing address and I'll pop a few in the post. They do a really nice pink camo one that would suit a certain bitch.

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  8. She looks like she is wearing one of my hats. x

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    1. I HAVE that hat.

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    2. Right I want lots of blogger photos with THAT hat on

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  9. I remember that picture from a previous post...she looks like such a happy person!

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  10. We all have "eccentric" neighbors. I only wish mine were as benign as Mrs Trellis. Mine consist of a mentally unstable bully, a crack junkie and a bunch of welfare bums.

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    1. I am sure you can deal with them.

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    2. And I bet they don't hide behind bushes

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    3. No, but they light up chainsaws and dirt bikes at midnight for no dam good reason at all. Also like to build bonfires that lick the branches of trees 65 ft up in the sky. Chaos, utter chaos.

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  11. A well trained and well behaved dog is a real wonder.

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  12. I love the way you make these characters so real and wacky. Definitely want to come and live in Trelawnyd.

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    Replies
    1. Bet your neighbours are as nuts
      Just look a little harder!

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  13. OK. You've said living with you isn't easy but I don't think Chris really needs to go to Calvary.

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  14. John, there's a distinct possibility that you yourself may be considered an eccentric neighbor by the good people of Trelawnyd?

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  15. Jesus Christ, Calgary's not THAT bad! LOL

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    Replies
    1. It would have been a darn sight better for J.C. himself!

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    2. Yes, it is. Lived there for six years. Six very long years!

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  16. Lovely looking lady with a killer smile!

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  17. That's a fine bonnet on Mrs. Trellis. Sometime around now I think, Calgary has a celebration called the Calgary Stampede, quite the cowboy event.

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  18. Maybe that reply gave her food for thought amid all that postcard writing. I'm sure she wouldn't have been......erm..... CROSS!

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  19. TOO funny - I actually LOL'd :)

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  20. ok - this post cracked me up. I feel for poor Mrs. Trellis with her badly-behaved dog. I have one, too, although he doesn't give two hoots about anything now that he's 14. And, I lived in Calgary for 4 years so that made me laugh out loud. Hope he has a good time. I hated the place.

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    1. He's there two days
      Hopefully he'll have a lovely time

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  21. Love that photo of little Mrs Trellis. You have some lovely neighbours.

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    1. I think most of us have Molly.....we just need to meet them

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  22. I gather Chris is going to Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Calgary is 350 kilometers south of my location. Hope he has a good time. The weather is good at this time, sunny and not to hot.

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    1. I'll tell him to give you a wave

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  23. Nice place, Calgary. And will Chris have a chance to explore the Rockies, since he's so close?

    There are certain locals I would like to avoid when I'm out and about. I might follow Mrs Trellis's example and hide in someone's garden if I see them coming.

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    1. He's only there two days.....so I don't think he'll even get a chance to see a cowboy!

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  24. I love your vignettes of your village life. And she is a darlin' as we would say. I adore her photo, what a wonderful smile !

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. She's one of those unsung little heroes that you see every day and seldome notice.

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  25. Wonderful story, John. She looks like quite a character. :-)

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  26. You capture our imagination with tales of your town and the people who live there, and it becomes a special place in our hearts, and a place we all want to visit. The local Chamber of Commerce (if you have such a thing) should pay you for putting Trelawnyd on the map. (so to speak)

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  27. Sounds a lot like 'Hyacinth' to me! Hanging around and in people's hedges avoiding other dogs!!
    Calgary is nothing close to Calvary. It does have a beautiful backdrop of the foothills of the Rocky Mountains.

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  28. Trixie is naughty! Poor Mrs. Trellis.

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  29. I am on my way to becoming the Mrs. Trellis in my neighborhood. I just need a hat like that.

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  30. Oh dear. Trixie sounds like my Elsie. Her reputation goes before her.

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  31. We're not all cowboys in Calgary!! In fact, you probably only see 'cowboys' during the Stampede in July, unless you go to one of the cowboy bars or out to a ranch (of which there are many)! Is he here for a conference? We're going to have crappy weather for the next 2 days, 17 and 13 degrees with rain! Hopefully we will have an Indian summer which we often have in September. Hope he's enjoying himself!

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  32. Calvary is the most hilarious answer ever.

    Love,
    Janie

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