Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Stress!..............and a relaxing gentle film

It is a well known phenomenon that married couples cannot teach each other to drive.
The stress levels are just too bloody high.
Now, to this, please add the following situation

" talking your partner through a complicated computer programme over Skype  with the clock ticking!"

This is way more stressful.......
Give me a critically ill patient on a ventilator to look after anyday!

This morning Chris left a vital memory stick at home.
It contained the information he needed for an important presentation this morning
All I had to do was to follow his verbal instructions to send contents of said computer stick, via an unfamiliar laptop to his email
Simple!
Remember time was ticking!
Well the computer password didn't work
And I couldn't quite get the angle right for chris to see the screen via Skype on my iPad
Lots of shouting followed
" move it up...move it to the left!, get your friggin thumb away from the camera!"
Then I couldn't find the USB port
" ITS ON THE FUCKING SIDE OF THE COMPUTER!!!!!" Chris bellowed
" I can't SEEEEEEE ITTTT!" I yelled back
" YOU CANT MISS IT! IT's ON THE SIDE!"
" it's not THERE!" I was beginning to sound like a shrill Lady Mary from Downton Abbey
" It was there THIS MORNING.!" Chris yelled...he was starting to hyperventilate.
He never told me that there was a little flap you had to open!
I jammed the memory stick in the hole
A strange window popped up saying
" Programme not responding"
" it's not responding!" I wailed
Winifred bounced into the office, excited at all the yelling!
" Can you click on Microsoft outlook.?" Chris gasped
" I can't even SEE MICROSOFT OUTLOOK.!"
......ok? You get the gist!.....the farce went on until Chris ran off empty handed to his presentation and I had to find a dark room , in which I could lie down in.





Now if you are as stressed as I am after reading all this, I suggest you find a few minutes to yourself and go and watch a gentle little Argentinian movie called  Hawaii (  2013)
In Hawaii nothing much happens. Newspaper colonist Eugenio ( Manual Vignou) spends a hot summer looking after his uncle's home in the city. A homeless Russian ( Mateo Chairtino ) turns up looking for work and the two men soon realise that they were once childhood friends.
Against the backdrop of a slightly decaying urban house and garden , a tentative romance starts.

I would recommend Hawaii wholeheartedly, for it is a totally visual experience. Hardly a word is spoken for great chunks of the film, as the two old friends pussyfoot around each other., and it makes a change that the drama , angst and confrontation ,so common in gay cinema, is more or less absent in this little psychological study.....a study which ends on a very welcoming positive note.

If you want your heart rate to slow, and your blood pressure to drop
Give HAWAII a go.


65 comments:

  1. Oh dear. I was reading with sympathetic understanding until I broke up laughing when 'Winnifred bounced into the room'.

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    1. Like a small bullock at the knackers' yard

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  2. 3 deep cleansing breaths, then go pet a doggie.

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    1. Don't worry AM I have just downed an emergency scotch egg

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  3. Oh to be a fly on the wall when Chris arrives/d home!

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  4. Believe me, you are not alone. Many of us ( well, me anyway) have been where you were in trying to work through a problem on the computer. I have even been yelled at by frustrated people named Kevin from India who claim to be technical support but I call sickos.

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    1. My eyesight is poor as well,which didn't help in a murky office in the wee small hours

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  5. Commenter not responding. Error message number 392. Retry or cancel? Now insert USB. Wait until system responds. Programme unexpectedly terminated. Error message 419.

    Nick has now passed out. He may be functional again later.

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    1. I understand your world so easily nick

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  6. Ok, ok...a very amusing start to MY day...I guess and hope you'll both laugh about it when it's all calmed down...

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    1. I wouldn't put money on it

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  7. computering under pressure? i would be horrible at it.

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  8. but what happened with the presentation???

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  9. I didn't find your little drama stressful at all. It was hilarious! Sorry for Chris, though, I hope he's good at improvisation.

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  10. The more we stress, the slower computers move, someday I will be brave enough to retell the story of trying to email a file off of a computer, while the fireworks warehouse across the street was in flames.

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    1. Now that trumps my story hands down

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  11. Turn off the computer and stay in Hawaii!

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  12. Gay cinema ~ I didn't even know there was a genre called that.

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  13. I'm going to need a Scotch egg after reading that...breathe...okay...just remember he's the one that forget the damn thing in the first place so no point passing any blame on to you...but of course bringing that up would be madness...at least Winnie was happy!

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  14. Been there....still married...fret not.
    Jane x

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    1. So have I, "Best Beloveds" brain goes out the window when he is in front of a computer!

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  15. Even when I am talking to a very kind IT person over the phone I get so exasperated that I shake and am on the verge of tears ....I just want things to work. You will have to send Chris off each day reciting anything he may have missed? :)

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  16. John,

    The dog ate the presentation, LOL

    It sounds like everyone needs to relax and mediate :P

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  17. I taught Marcia to drive in a truck. I was so stressed I felt like stabbing myself. Mind you, I think I prefer your way to slow the heartbeat and lower blood pressure...

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  18. I do feel a little tense now. My husband has jokingly said that I should also be given a steering wheel when he is driving, and I told him that I also need a 'Bremse' (brake pedal).
    And there I thought that you are all computer savvy, having a blog and all ...

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  19. I think Chris might need a trip to Hawaii too when he comes home tonight!

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  20. I think this 'rings true' to most couples......curious thing don't you think?

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  21. I've had way too many episodes with the IT guys at work....I feel your pain.

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    1. Delores I owe you a martini

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  22. My husband retired 10 days ago. I've already had to take two migraine tablets in that time.

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  23. I am (justly) proud that I taught my wife to drive a manual transmission car with only one small outburst of frustration. It can be done (but I get your point, John).

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  24. I know the place you are, John. I got one of those calls the other day. From the Angel. He should have known better. Still, when in need the devil will eat flies. And make do.

    I did manage to deliver but not before words were exchanged.

    What is even more irritating: Gender stereotyping. Someone had the nerve to ask me - on some computer problem - why my son doesn't help me out. In the Angel's immortal words, and he is right: "Just because I am a man doesn't mean I understand (and am able to solve) the problem." That's my boy. Two years later ...

    U

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  25. I hope you've got something superb lined up for dinner tonight..

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    1. Fish , cauliflower cheese and mash
      Is that good enough?

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  26. The academic in our house is wringing his hands in distress over the fate of Chris. Yes, he was the one who forgot the stick, he will never do that again, but you must see this for the catastrophe it is. I would add soothing music, freshly drawn bath, fresh sheets...

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  27. My heart rate went up when I read this and it immediately reminded me of an incident with hubbie.

    A few years we were in Germany driving on the autobahn, I was delegated to the roll of navigator even though I am a crap map reader and have no sense of direction. Eric asked me if we took the next exit. We were flying at over 120 mph as I tried to find it on the map. Eric asked "yes, No" calm(ish) at first but as we got closer and as I was becoming more frustrated and lost he started asking more emphatically. Finally he began yelling yes, no and just as we passed the exit I said YES. It was half an hour before we found an exit.



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    1. Ah...........we've all been on that autobahn

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  28. Very funny. Did Winifred eat the memory stick?

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    1. She just danced around in the background like a big fat fairy

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  29. Now you have me hyperventilating.

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  30. I feel your pain....
    My husband and myself never handle computer updates or anything computer in a smooth manner.
    No shouting, just lots of arms in the air.
    I must confess, I had to smile at your frustration...sorry.
    ~Jo

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    1. Every couple has these mornings.........fraught as they are x

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  31. You made me laugh. X often demanded that I do things I didn't know how to do. He was no Chris, however, so I didn't keep him. Willy Dunne Wooters seems to revel in amazement at all the things I know.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I love the name wooters..sounds like hooters

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  32. I've just invested in a bite guard ( similar to a gum shield but sits on lower teeth and stops you from grinding your teeth) I can tolerate all amount of crap and sit demurely silently grinding away at a bespoke piece of rubber...........

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    1. I am presently on ebay trying to find one!

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    2. I will save your teeth and build facial muscles.. .. still have murderous though

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  33. Sometimes I think those sticks have a memory all of their own. All you have to do is jam them into a hole, then try to get out of it as quickly as possible.

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    1. Memories Tomas? Memories?

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    2. Muscular memory. Thanks for the mammaries.

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    3. You bob hope you

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  34. Sorry to hear about your day, John. It's hard on a new computer, for sure. *hugs*

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  35. I can sympathize, although not about computers, probably more likely about hanging wallpaper. But even feeling sympathy didn't keep me from laughing out loud several times, sorry :)

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  36. Oh, I know! Currently nursing a sick male who needs his nose broken.

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  37. Himself is not computer savvy at all, and has called me on occasion to walk him through how to do something. I'm grateful for my time working on a help desk, as i learned many different ways of what people tell me that's of No Use, and i also learned to ask better questions to get them to tell me Pertinent Information.

    With Himself, i go to the very beginning and tell him where the button is he needs to press or how to get the menu to see the task he needs to click on.

    I've had my work laptop for at least two years now, and still sometimes can't get the thumb drive to load right. It's always when i'm a hurry of course. I have mine on a docking station, and when i had to remove it from there, i labelled all the wires jammed into it, not only to remind me what they were, but where they should go (top left, hole that looks square, for example, and accompanied by a crude drawing. Crude as in nonartistic rendering, not the meaning Mr Stephenson might mean). Some might say a bit of overkill, but i found it helpful when i had to reconnect everything.

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