Whiskey & Ashes

My sister in law Jayne ( centre) amid family and friends
It's exactly two years today since my brother died. The time ( as  it always does when you reach your fifties) seems to have flown and this anniversary has felt like the right time for my sister in law to finally let go of his ashes.
This morning a motley collection of my brother's family and friends met up on the hillside overlooking the small seaside town of Prestatyn. There was no fuss. There was no ceremony of sorts.
There was just a quiet and good natured appreciation of a view that my brother grew up with as a boy and a slightly surreal realization of why we're had all gathered there.
We raised schooners of whiskey in a toast (It was Andrew's favorite tipple ) then each one of us scattered small scoops of his ashes  into the gentle breeze from the sea.

The view over the coastal plain
Chris with his schooner 

48 comments:

  1. Dearest John, by fate, your dear Brother died one day after my dear Son. Yesterday was our second year as well. This grieving process has been unbearable at times. My best wishes are with you and yours. May we each honor the life lost with compassion for those who remain.

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  2. A delicate time well handled.

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  3. What a wonderful ceremony; I suspect your brother was sharing the view with you and will always. :)

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  4. He must feel so loved. Well done!

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  5. What a wonderful way to honor your dear brother....

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  6. What a touching post. Sounds like a beautiful tribute and remembrance.

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  7. Raising a glass to love and the life....bless you all

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  8. Anonymous2:53 pm

    May he fly high.

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  9. What a beautiful thing to do and what a lovely place to scatter his ashes. Very poignant. Take care friend.

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  10. Dignified and respectful. This is lovely, John. Thanks for sharing this moment.

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  11. Time drags as it whizzes along on such occasions. Nice send off.

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  12. A perfect way of accomplishing the final (physical, of sorts) 'letting-go'.

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  13. Very nice way to honor your brother. Take care John.

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  14. Anonymous4:05 pm

    I have never visited you before but that was so lovely. I planted a rose after my father dad and throw a whisky on it every year.

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  15. Anonymous4:06 pm

    You didn't see the programme about baby kangaroos last night did you?
    Want one.

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  16. Lovely way to always remember your brother.
    I said goodbye to my daughter ashes in the ocean. In her very short life she was not able to move so I thought it fitting she should be able to float and swim about in the ocean where I lived. I was able to lookout at the point from my home. I think of Nicole everyday and take some comfort in that.

    gayle

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  17. That has flown by. Sending you and your family lots of love. I think of you all often and chit chat with Janet on Facebook often xxxxx

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  18. A lovely peaceful and fitting end John after some years of such a tough illness your brother had to endure. I am sure he would be with you in spirit (and I mean this both ways.)

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  19. This lovely account has reminded me I need to let go of my Mum's ashes. It's nice to get together to do it. I'll arrange something.

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  20. A poignant moment. Love to all your family, John.

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  21. A beautiful tribute...Thinking of you all...

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  22. I think ash scattering is so much better than burial. You must miss him terribly John. Thinking of you. x

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  23. A very poignant moment for you and your family John and a lovely way to say goodbye. It's very difficult to decide where and when to scatter the ashes isn't it ?
    Our Dad died in 2008 and his ashes are still in his filing cabinet !!!! He did love filing { he was an Organisation and Method's Officer } and I think that's why we have left them there ! XXXX

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  24. Echoing Nana Go-Go and rusty duck.

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  25. Sounds like a good way to see him off. My thoughts are with you, it must be hard. x

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  26. From what you've told us about Andrew,he would have loved that.
    Jane x

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  27. Today is the 12th anniversary of my sister's passing and I miss her beyond belief. May God bless my sister and may God bless your brother. Sleep gently.

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  28. I should go the same way. But leave the whisky alone, It is bad for you

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  29. A fitting tribute. What a beautiful view.

    I, myself am going in the river dart, past the castle, where the sea meets the river.

    Big hug John xx

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  30. I'd be honored to be sent off with such a gathering. I hope it felt healing for you all.

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  31. That's nice that you could be together in his honor.

    Love,
    Janie

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  32. what a wonderful way to say goodbye.

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  33. A lovely way to honor and respect his life.

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  34. Anonymous1:29 am

    What a nice place for goodbyes.

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  35. What a sendoff. With love and honor.

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  36. Well done guys; perfect.

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  37. I scattered my mothers ashes from the back of my horse while I rode around the farm she loved. Almost fell off through the tears and then the laughter knowing how hard she would have laughed. if I'd fallen on my arse. I do not believe we ever get OVER the pain John, but we do learn to get AROUND it. Thank you for sharing such a personal moment.

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  38. A very moving post, John. I hope it helped Janet realise that she's not alone in her grief. It makes me think that I would like this, to be scattered in my beloved Cornwall if only to bring my 3 sons together again. :(

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  39. Sorry!!! 'Jayne', not Janet.

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  40. What a wonderful way to honour your brother and a fitting time scale to have kept and then dispersed his ashes. Time for some happy memories to have returned to mellow the sadness.

    You've reminded me to go and dig up my Dad's ashes, carefully wrapped in their box and living in the Veggie Patch, it's time for him to come to Wales to see where his daughter's ending up.

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  41. Beautiful location for what must have been a very moving ceremony.

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  42. Nice sendoff. Those quiet, heartfelt gatherings do a world of good.

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