Monday, 2 December 2013

Customer relations


The day after a night shift is when my temper often bubbles just underneath the surface
I wish I could be a better person when I am knackered.
But I can't .
Today a woman stopped to buy eggs
She wanted duck eggs there and then
So I had to schlep across the field to check the duck house to retrieve them
I only had five and so I only charged her  £1
But she wasn't happy
Now, ducks are not the cleanest of birds 
So I rinsed the eggs in the water butt before I handed them over..but even so
the woman sort of turned her nose up when I boxed them in front her of her
she pointed a perfectly manicured red finger nail at one of the hastily  collected and rather grubby eggs and asked rather haughtily
" is that mud?" 

I just couldn't be arsed with her

" No it's SHIT !" I said shortly

79 comments:

  1. Don't think she'll be back!
    Jane x

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  2. entitled beeyotch! next time she can go to Tesco for her stupid eggs! good on ya for your witty response!

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    1. Said with a smile of course

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  3. Comes with the territory lol.

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  4. hahahahahaa! love it!

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  5. I believe I would've reacted in a manner more suited for her high-falluting nature. "It's shit, lady and if you want them it will now cost you double.", you old bat.

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  6. There's always a way to make sure the awkward customers don't come back ~ I bet it felt great !!

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  7. Ha ha ha ha! You crotchety old farmer, you! Next time tell her it's a sample of your highest-grade organic fertilizer and suggest where she can find a shovel if she'd like more.

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  8. You just made my day!
    THANK YOU! :D

    PS. Totally undercharged! Fresh eggs, for a pound?! Wish I was living close to you! And I don't mind dirty eggs even with little bit of feathers or shit stucked to them :)

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  9. Hope she reads your blog John :-)

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    Replies
    1. Looking at her, I suspect she was is a COSMO gal

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  11. You do bloody find them, me old chuck!

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  12. Well done! She probably eats with her gloves on anyway.

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    Replies
    1. She needed duck eggs to make a Mary Berry recipe

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    2. Mary Berry? Who she? (Okay, I can guess.)

      D'you remember that old Roy Castle song?:-
      "You need a little white BERRY if you wanna have a MARY Christmas.......

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  13. Good for you...having worked retail for many years, sometimes it just gets to you and you have to tell it like it is....!

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  14. Easy Tiger....thanks for my first laugh of the day. I needed it!

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    Replies
    1. You are welcome
      Cheque in post x

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  15. Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh.
    Some days are just like this.

    cheers, parsnip

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for yesterday's comment parsnip...very moving x

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  16. Stupid cow. They sell them in the local pet shop - squeaky clean.

    My neighbours loved my girls's eggs the fresher the better - covered in chicken poop with a feather stuck on !

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  17. She should have lashed you with her leather riding crop! ...Take that Bad Earl! And that! ...And stop that whimpering!

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  18. £1 for 5 duck eggs, bloody bargain!!

    Your response was brilliant, I would have made her go and find herself some.

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  19. Ha Ha - good answer!

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  20. Made my day....
    Lee Anna

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    Replies
    1. It actually made mine too

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  21. that s going gently

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    Replies
    1. We'll going a bit roughly deeps

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  22. Good for you! There are times when you should stand up for yourself!!

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  23. Ah.... discouragement of undesirable customers. :)
    I approve!

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  24. I would have said it was "Gather your own eggs day" and handed her a bucket.
    Hopefully, she'll not be a returning customer.
    ~Jo

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  25. LOL John I was waiting for you to tell her to shove it as well. I love it in the film, the good year, when the American tourists are asking for food that isn't on the menu and in a French accent he says

    Macdonalds is in Avignon, fish and chips in Marseille. Allez!

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    1. Lol .....I would probably say that

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  26. Good bye woman, don't come again.

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  27. Good on you! Arrogance isn't ladylike so I'm glad you told it as it is!

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    Replies
    1. And I was being pompous

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  28. I wish I could get away with saying exactly what is on my mind with some, but it gets me in big *shit* it seems ; thanks for once again making my day, John. xx

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  29. Were they 'duck egg blue'?!

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    Replies
    1. Yes.. With a dusky brown overlay

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  30. Did she take your shit?

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  31. Glad to hear you still don't mince your words.

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  32. Good comeback. It's a mystery to me why certain people think they are somehow better than others.

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  33. And hers undoubtedly doesn't pong.

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  34. Yep she'd be better off getting them from Tesco's where they'd be nicely polished

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    Replies
    1. The staff at our local tesco's all had Santa hats on today!
      F@cking hell

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  35. Never kill a customer

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJTyjGjz5TM

    Took me ages to find this clip with English subtitles for your Welsh readers,

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    1. Lol...I wonder if they will repeat this sketch in the new stage event?

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    2. What new stage event? You see! This is why I get so annoyed, No one tells me anything!

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    3. Monty Python has just re formed for a sell out tour tom......
      ( a huge money making effort me thinks)
      I suspect the whole thing will be a flop

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  36. Sometimes the plain truth has a special impact of its own. I bought a large quantity of eggs at a bargain price and shared them out to family. As I passed a box to my aged mother and aunt, my sister asked, "Where did they come from?" 'You may not believe this', I told her, 'but out of the (back end) of a hen.' The laughter of the rest of the family stopped her investigation in its tracks.

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  37. AHAHA! That was simply perfect.

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  38. Tee hee - I hope she wasn't local!

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    Replies
    1. I suspect you have met her val

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  39. Well, what the hell did she expect?

    Love,
    Janie

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  40. For goodness sake! I'd not have been so polite..........

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  41. And then what did she say.

    That was great, John.

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  42. Good for you, John. She had some nerve, and no excuse for acting that way. She should be ashamed of herself.
    Have a better week, John.

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  43. Stupid cow. People like that should shop at M & S.

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  44. People never cease to amaze me John.

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  46. A perfect, honest answer, people have lost touch with were real food comes from, bravo!

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  47. "No lady, it is the delicate chocolate coating from their gold lined anus." The stupid. It hurts

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  48. Oh my, I just found your blog. You are a funny man. I'm enjoying your blog today as it's slow at work (shhh) Your comment on the egg shit was priceless!

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    1. Nice to have you along for the ride x

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  49. Good for you! Some people are ridiculous in the extreme. What did she expect considering you went especially to the duck (house?) place to get them. Daft bat. I think you were very restrained.

    Jo in Auckland NZ

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