Sunday, 1 December 2013

Whiskey & Ashes

My sister in law Jayne ( centre) amid family and friends
It's exactly two years today since my brother died. The time ( as  it always does when you reach your fifties) seems to have flown and this anniversary has felt like the right time for my sister in law to finally let go of his ashes.
This morning a motley collection of my brother's family and friends met up on the hillside overlooking the small seaside town of Prestatyn. There was no fuss. There was no ceremony of sorts.
There was just a quiet and good natured appreciation of a view that my brother grew up with as a boy and a slightly surreal realization of why we're had all gathered there.
We raised schooners of whiskey in a toast (It was Andrew's favorite tipple ) then each one of us scattered small scoops of his ashes  into the gentle breeze from the sea.

The view over the coastal plain
Chris with his schooner 

49 comments:

  1. Dearest John, by fate, your dear Brother died one day after my dear Son. Yesterday was our second year as well. This grieving process has been unbearable at times. My best wishes are with you and yours. May we each honor the life lost with compassion for those who remain.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A delicate time well handled.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a wonderful ceremony; I suspect your brother was sharing the view with you and will always. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. He must feel so loved. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a wonderful way to honor your dear brother....

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a touching post. Sounds like a beautiful tribute and remembrance.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Raising a glass to love and the life....bless you all

    ReplyDelete
  8. What a beautiful thing to do and what a lovely place to scatter his ashes. Very poignant. Take care friend.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dignified and respectful. This is lovely, John. Thanks for sharing this moment.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Time drags as it whizzes along on such occasions. Nice send off.

    ReplyDelete
  11. A perfect way of accomplishing the final (physical, of sorts) 'letting-go'.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Very nice way to honor your brother. Take care John.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I have never visited you before but that was so lovely. I planted a rose after my father dad and throw a whisky on it every year.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You didn't see the programme about baby kangaroos last night did you?
    Want one.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lovely way to always remember your brother.
    I said goodbye to my daughter ashes in the ocean. In her very short life she was not able to move so I thought it fitting she should be able to float and swim about in the ocean where I lived. I was able to lookout at the point from my home. I think of Nicole everyday and take some comfort in that.

    gayle

    ReplyDelete
  16. That has flown by. Sending you and your family lots of love. I think of you all often and chit chat with Janet on Facebook often xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  17. A lovely peaceful and fitting end John after some years of such a tough illness your brother had to endure. I am sure he would be with you in spirit (and I mean this both ways.)

    ReplyDelete
  18. This lovely account has reminded me I need to let go of my Mum's ashes. It's nice to get together to do it. I'll arrange something.

    ReplyDelete
  19. A poignant moment. Love to all your family, John.

    ReplyDelete
  20. A beautiful tribute...Thinking of you all...

    ReplyDelete
  21. I think ash scattering is so much better than burial. You must miss him terribly John. Thinking of you. x

    ReplyDelete
  22. A very poignant moment for you and your family John and a lovely way to say goodbye. It's very difficult to decide where and when to scatter the ashes isn't it ?
    Our Dad died in 2008 and his ashes are still in his filing cabinet !!!! He did love filing { he was an Organisation and Method's Officer } and I think that's why we have left them there ! XXXX

    ReplyDelete
  23. Echoing Nana Go-Go and rusty duck.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Sounds like a good way to see him off. My thoughts are with you, it must be hard. x

    ReplyDelete
  25. From what you've told us about Andrew,he would have loved that.
    Jane x

    ReplyDelete
  26. Today is the 12th anniversary of my sister's passing and I miss her beyond belief. May God bless my sister and may God bless your brother. Sleep gently.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I should go the same way. But leave the whisky alone, It is bad for you

    ReplyDelete
  28. A fitting tribute. What a beautiful view.

    I, myself am going in the river dart, past the castle, where the sea meets the river.

    Big hug John xx

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'd be honored to be sent off with such a gathering. I hope it felt healing for you all.

    ReplyDelete
  30. That's nice that you could be together in his honor.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  31. what a wonderful way to say goodbye.

    ReplyDelete
  32. A lovely way to honor and respect his life.

    ReplyDelete
  33. What a nice place for goodbyes.

    ReplyDelete
  34. What a sendoff. With love and honor.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Well done guys; perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I scattered my mothers ashes from the back of my horse while I rode around the farm she loved. Almost fell off through the tears and then the laughter knowing how hard she would have laughed. if I'd fallen on my arse. I do not believe we ever get OVER the pain John, but we do learn to get AROUND it. Thank you for sharing such a personal moment.

    ReplyDelete
  37. A very moving post, John. I hope it helped Janet realise that she's not alone in her grief. It makes me think that I would like this, to be scattered in my beloved Cornwall if only to bring my 3 sons together again. :(

    ReplyDelete
  38. Sorry!!! 'Jayne', not Janet.

    ReplyDelete
  39. What a wonderful way to honour your brother and a fitting time scale to have kept and then dispersed his ashes. Time for some happy memories to have returned to mellow the sadness.

    You've reminded me to go and dig up my Dad's ashes, carefully wrapped in their box and living in the Veggie Patch, it's time for him to come to Wales to see where his daughter's ending up.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Beautiful location for what must have been a very moving ceremony.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Nice sendoff. Those quiet, heartfelt gatherings do a world of good.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x