Beep....Beep!

I am planning an overdue visit to my old hometown of Sheffield.
It's been far too long since I touched base with the old steel City and I have missed my old friends...John ( a Zara wearing old Queen) , Jane ( a cheerful earth mother) and mike ( an easy going old fart)...so very much.
Chris is treating me to a nice hotel room and the date has been set for May the first, so all I had to do is to galvanise the groups, so to speak and turn up.
It will be lovely to see them all again.
Texting is an ideal medium to organise a reunion.
A few choice words and " beep beep!" Job's done
Yesterday, I contacted my three main friends and in a fit of excitement made a few more texts to other old Sheffield  friends that I have not caught up with for a few years now...... Seeing that I have a whole day to "catch up" with old friends.... I thought that I could stagger a few reunions over a late lunch or an early dinner so to speak.
One old friend I sent the "generic..meet me" text to got back to me almost immediately. The last time I saw her, she was a harassed wife and mother, who lived a quiet surburban life of school runs, part time nursing shifts and occasional depression.
Now things appear somewhat different........
Our Text Conservation went as follows.......
ME: "......so I can't wait to see you......I cannot believe that we last met up five years ago....what's new?"
HER: " Left my husband, living in a rented house.......share the kids, they all have their problems and life is a struggle at times but bugger it.......I've had a gastric bypass, lost 8 stone, dyed my hair purple, had several piercings and now shagging a 22 year old ex cage fighter who has put me in debt.... But hey ho" ( now you know where I got the catchphrase hey ho from!) ...." If you can't have a midlife crisis at my age when can you have it?!...............
I will tell you all the mucky details when I see you. X.......what's your news BTW?"

ME: ( wracking my brain) " I think I have gout in my right big toe"

HEY HO
Sheffield City Centre

41 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. If she did have, the story of how her camper van blew up on snake pass would be a highlight

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  2. Anonymous3:46 pm

    A lot can happen in five years. Don't forget to tell her you were attacked by an enraged 6 inch high rooster whilst feeling up a goose. That should stop her cold for a minute or two lol.

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    1. Compared with a. 22 year old cage fighter
      That's chicken feed

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  3. You're going to have to make stuff up!
    Jane x

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  4. can not wait to hear the stories after your trip!

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  5. Still laughing about the T.P. incident!!!!!! Poor fellow.....

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  6. I keep telling you to write a small book, leading off with several Scotched eggs stories, for your open !
    ummmmmmmmm hope your big toe gets better soon ?

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. It's arthritis not. Gout....gout sounded better

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  7. I'd die my hair purple for a 22 yo cage fighter. She sounds like quite a girl and the text made me laugh.

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  8. Anonymous4:44 pm

    "hey ho" indeed

    hope you don't really have gout in your big toe...'cause it obviously doesn't stand up to "her" trials and tribulations :)

    if you wish I'll text this..."date and time for when I should expect your book in the book shops"

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  9. I reconnected with a longtime friend a couple of weeks ago that I had not heard from since she moved to South Africa. She and her husband just climbed Mount Kilimanjaro .... How do I top that with what I've been doing?? Hey ho is right!!!

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    1. Some people. Always go oone better

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    2. Some peoples priorities are just different, Kim.
      You may not be able to 'top' their stories, but yours are so much more important.


      John, I understand why you reply as you did, but I think your stories are better.
      And I look forward to your telling of them when you get back!
      Have a great time. ♥

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  10. It's obvious why you two are friends - the same insane humor! Wish I could be a little mouse sitting in the pub when you folks meet up.

    Nancy in Iowa

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  11. So like the home life of our own dear Queen.....

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  12. Gout can trump purple hair in some situations. A nose ring wins over it all.

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  13. Anonymous6:42 pm

    The home of the "Full Monty!" Love that.

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  14. That's quite a comprehensive upheaval. How could you possibly compete with that? You'd better get moving. You've got a couple of weeks to have a serious midlife crisis and end up living with a 25 year old welder in Doncaster.

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    Replies
    1. Never in Doncaster..it's a right hole

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  15. Haha! Thanks for the chortle over my breakfast. You tell a good story, John!

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  16. I should know better than go take a sip of coffee when I'm reading you blog. John. Oh my I hope the phone in rice works to dry it out.

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  17. Will one day be enough?

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  18. I would love to hear the whole story on this one! Good for her for having some fun.

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  19. I want to be a fly on that wall!

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  20. Tom...I have toned some of this down....this friend once worked as a nurse in HM PRISON and once grabbed a prisoners erection through his pants thinking it was contraband

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  21. I am planning a reunion with a few companions from 1969...haven;t seen one gal since then!! Could be interesting. Am looking forward to your reunion post! May have to make a few adjustments to mine.

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  22. I think I'm due a mid life crisis..

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  23. Anonymous9:54 pm

    The last friend you mention sounds like she is great fun and determined she will be remembered by all who know her.

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  24. I love the exchange with your divorced friend! Hey ho. I spent a night in Sheffield once while on a tour of England. The "hotel" was actually a bunch of houses connected together to make an inn. I never got to sample the night life however!

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  25. You are a male version of me - I have Arthritus in my big toes too. We have all the same ailments. I'm off to Sheff tomorrow - I shall be looking for her!!!! xxxx

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  26. That is definitely some life changing choices for your friend. I think I would prefer the gout!

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  27. Life has some bloody difficult corners; and we never know what's around each one. As long as I don't encounter a 22 year old cage fighter....

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  28. Now that reunion sounds to have a LOT of promise. And congratulations to your friend. Huge changes, which sound to be for the better (on balance).

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  29. Tom S: "I had my mid-life crisis aged 25, but I was always greedy." I like it!

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  30. If she has your sense of humour John then I think you need to reserve judgement on how much of it is true until you meet her - you may indeed find that everything is as it always was! If not then all I can say is that you have some fascinating friends which make mine all seem so ordinary.

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  31. Pat, knowing the old friend as I did.... I suspect it is all true... But perhaps like me, she has given the whole story a humorous slant.... X

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  32. There's hope for me yet! Have caught up with your posts now. Ignore my last request.x
    Actually, I heard on the radio the other day that it's the 60's and over who are now having mid-life crises as opposed to those in their 40's so there's plenty of time for you yet - as for me, I'd better get cracking!

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  33. My mid life crisis is entirely supressed and will not be allowed to come out lest I ruin a lot of lives! Fabulous to hear about other people's though! xx

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  34. Now thats a good friend - a person who will go to the trouble to have the adventures that you just may not be up to at the moment... but yet will share the details... ;)

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