The Welsh

The Welsh terriers are quiet. 

Not that they are pining, which they are not.

It is because things are different.

Mary is now back in charge

She sat in Dorothy’s old spot all evening last night

Hogging my attention, licking my hands and feet and followed me around as Dorothy would have.

She and Roger came to bed, gleefully rubbing snouts on the duvet as they made circles to settle.

Typically Roger is going with the flow. 

He really hasn’t got a clue, his job of home protector continues with excited, woofing gallops into the garden whenever anything bigger than a blackbird can be seen. 

He employs a Zebedee type bounce when any human goes past in the vague hope he can obtain a hug and still can’t quite maintain his balance when putting paws onto Bluebells dashboard.

He is, and will always be, a tonic

Normal

 Trendy Carol ( probably sporting something springlike in green) sent some flowers around with her hubby yesterday. I told him, and I meant it that I should be the one buying flowers for if it wasn’t for them , I would not have been able to keep my dogs let alone acquire one like Dorothy .

I bought them a bunch of flowers too, and signed them with thanks , Dorothy x

I went to college today then bought some towels on the way home. I’m on annual leave this week

The cottage is quiet, I’m managed to read all your comments tonight , and am thankful I’ve only had to delete a couple , you’re a nice bunch and I feel supported 

Postscript

To add to today’s post 

Some perspective . Last night before we went to bed I put Dorothy in a pair of adult incontinence knickers.

(She took a small.)I’m sentimental, but I’m no fool even with the palliative care of my own bulldog.

She had the energy to look down slowly at the nappy , then looked me directly in the eye with a “ What the fuck have you just done to me !!!! ” look on her face.

It made me laugh out loud

Monday

Emotionally speaking it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster  ride over the past two weeks..ever since a blogger insulted me on line, only removing the insult when challenged by a third party. The internet allows for such behaviour .

Such words would never be verbalised if I was stood there in person and the whole thing strangely upset me.  Work has been challenging at times . I’ve had to pass an interview and essays too

It’s all been a bit h e a v y .

The antibiotics I’ve been prescribed have made me intermittently nauseous but have reduced most of the soft tissue infection in my face. However my glands remain swollen and painful, and I’m self conscious and down about how I look. 

I still have my effing cold too.

Dorothy last night with me on the sofa she’d just shared a frankfurter sausage !

And of course Dorothy died early this morning 

I’m relieved she won’t have to linger any more and was grateful for having time to spend with her on the couch over the weekend with the fire lit warmly.it was her time and I’m glad.

At the end she looked a little worried but hid her head under my chin as I told her to be a brave girl. She snapped at the others so as usual it was only me and her against the world.

The last smell she smelled was me, 

the last voice she heard was mine

In the five years since she came to me, she’s always been such a scared girl at times

But not scared anymore.

I’m going to the cinema later.

The place that makes me better.

A Chippy Tea

 

When the world and their mothers were busy with Mothering Sunday, I took the dogs to the beach and out for a chippy tea.

Now I’m sure many of you may not know what A Chippy Tea is, so I shall explain . A Chippy Tea ( or Dinner) is when historically the lady of the house , through busyness, illness, holiday time or whatever had decided not to cook that mealtime and a rare “ take out” was in order.

For my family A Chippy Tea was a rarity and a treat.

It remains so

It must be well over 2 years since I last had one.

Now, for those that still remain in the dark , the meal consists of a large battered fish fillet ( usually cod or haddock ) lying on a bed of chips. These chips are thick cut fresh fries that are slightly crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, but generally in the steam of the take out, they can be just soft! 

Everything is covered with a generous amount of malt vinegar and salt. Then wrapped in a box and paper.

It’s a delight on a miserable day.

We ate it in the beach car park. Dorothy had a small battered fish of her own ( with half the batter removed) where the Welsh shared my box 

Sweet

 Dorothy has had a comfortable day 

Trendy Carol’s Husband came around to visit with a pork steak in hand.

He’s looked after Dorothy everyday I’ve been at work, holiday and college for the past 5 years. 

And I couldn’t stand to watch as he stroked her head gently  and called her his Dotty, and so busied myself with something in the kitchen as he said his tearful goodbyes.

CDK - Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye

Amazing little film 

It’s cold here, grey and miserable 

“Enough Cariño”

I was pleased the Spanish vet was on duty. 

She agreed with me about an ultrasound and has a lovely way about her.

She told that me my face looked sore. 

She’d be a good candidate for a hospice nurse. 

Practical, kind and straight to the point.

Dorothy refused to be led away from me so I was allowed to accompany the staff to scanning.

I clicked my fingers and Dorothy followed me and I couldn’t contain my pride when the vet said

“ You’ve trained her well”

Even I could see the size of the tumour on the scan and when the vet aspirated bloody fluid from her abdomen with a 2 mls syringe, she held it out for me to see

“Enough Cariño” she said quietly 

“She has a few days” the Spanish vet said “ Take her home and spoil her with anything she wants to eat”

And that’s exactly what I’ve done

We stopped at the village shop in Caerwys where I found a packet of cocktail sausages and then side by side, I popped one into her mouth at a time as she chewed them with closed happy old eyes.I didn’t cry until she leant up for a kiss well after she was sure all of the sausages had been finished, and not used to being free of her crate in the car I let her stand with her paws on the dashboard, as Roger does so much when we go out every morning.

She couldn’t believe her luck.

I stopped one more time to buy a cooked chicken for more dog dinners and some expensive flowers for myself. (It’s Mothers’ day) and we went home.

My email light was flashing on my laptop when we entered the kitchen,

I’d received an email from MIND , 

I have got the counselling placement.