I've made The Prof a ginger cake
and I was Watched VERY very closely
I am now writing this in the living room 35 minutes after the photo was taken
Winnie is still sat looking at the cake
International Trelawnyd ( aka A Carrot With A Big Cock)
The "Unthanks" came to Trelawnyd Memorial Hall last night. Apparently they are one of the Uk's top folk bands with an international reputation, so the village was filled with lots of people in hand knitted jumpers drinking cider.
It's a pity I was working at the hospital for what I saw of the Friday night concert was impressive. I took the dogs out for their late walk and the village seemed alive with hairy social worker types chatting amicably on the village green. There I bumped into an old school friend who was a little worse for wear, she told me that the folk concerts were " well worth a bloody visit" and so I promised to go to the next one with her and her husband.
I don't think the Prof would go....he hates folk music with a passion.
And so the " International " reputation of the village grows......
Balancing the musical side of this reputation is, of course " THE INTERNATIONAL NOVELTY VEGETABLE CLASS" in the Flower Show which has taken off again this year big style.......Only yesterday I received several entries from across the Atlantic, and in a hopeful " me, me " way I have contacted the papers with the story.
Apparently the papers love a photo of a carrot with a big cock!
Or so I have been told............
Here are some of the latest entries
It's a pity I was working at the hospital for what I saw of the Friday night concert was impressive. I took the dogs out for their late walk and the village seemed alive with hairy social worker types chatting amicably on the village green. There I bumped into an old school friend who was a little worse for wear, she told me that the folk concerts were " well worth a bloody visit" and so I promised to go to the next one with her and her husband.
I don't think the Prof would go....he hates folk music with a passion.
And so the " International " reputation of the village grows......
Balancing the musical side of this reputation is, of course " THE INTERNATIONAL NOVELTY VEGETABLE CLASS" in the Flower Show which has taken off again this year big style.......Only yesterday I received several entries from across the Atlantic, and in a hopeful " me, me " way I have contacted the papers with the story.
Apparently the papers love a photo of a carrot with a big cock!
Or so I have been told............
Here are some of the latest entries
I knif of like this one
Keep em coming!
We have had a good number for North America and Australia
But where are the British entries?
And come on Europe!
I need a good few more
Send to jgsheffield@hotmail.com
Anyhow tomorrow we are having dinner out!
Yes! How exciting is that?
I managed to book a table at Bryn William's new cafe Porth Eirias
in Colwyn Bay
He has a very successful sister restaurant in Primrose Hill in London
so the opening up of a new venue here is a wonderful coup!
Well I Never
25 fascinating facts about me
1. I learnt to swim with my best friend mike when I was 41.
2. When I was sixteen I wrote to Olivia De Havilland in Paris and she sent me a signed Polaroid of herself.
3. I was bought my first dog in 2002
4. In 1984 I did a parachute jump from 2,500 feet
5. My porn name is Kimmy Fry
6. I have a very strong dislike of donuts
7. I was once offered sex by a girl in a hospital lift when we were both in patients ( I declined)
8. I had a relationship with a guy who, as it turned out, was engaged to a woman
9. The only bit of jewelry that I have EVER, or WILL ever wear is my wedding ring.
10. I am colourblind
11. I have been mugged just the once.
12. I was once so ill drinking tequila slammers in 1989 that I have never drank it since
13. I have only ever punched one person in anger
14. I cannot dance...not one step...and I married a ex professional dancer!
15. I have been writing a blog, more or less , everyday since 2006
16. I once poisoned 14 koi carp with a bottle of peppermint essence
17. I have walked a bride to be down the aisle at a wedding!
18. I have already chosen my funeral music
19. If I watch The Poseidon Adventure on DVD, I can act out every line of every character for the entire movie!
20. I was 53 when I got married!
21. I once passionately kissed a policeman whilst he was on duty!
22. I can place the exciting RMN , RGN letters after my name
23. I once danced ( badly) on the roof of the cancer hospital, Weston Park in sheffield with a group of friends
24. I am an avid fan of the quiz show " only connect"
25. I have cried buckets over 3 human deaths ..........and 5 animal deaths
Pass it on..........
Burnt To Buggery
I have always had a high colour.
When I was born, I burst forth into the world sporting big red rosy cheeks and looked rather like a miniature Santa Claus with a serious case of alopecia.......
Yes, even at the age of one, I looked like W.C. Fields with hypertension
Today I look more like Jeff Chandler from the film " Cochise"...for three hours of raffle ticket selling in the burning sun has left me with a serious case of sunburn.
My last victims of raffle ticket selling was Gay Gordon and Big Mary.......Gay Gordon who is just getting over a recent heart attack , must have thought I was on my last legs , for he quickly sat me down in his chair by the window in an effort to bring down my colour.
Winnie Saves Albert's Life
I've just been cooking liver and onions in the kitchen when Winnie steamrollered through from the living room and bolted out of the back door.
She bounced up the garden steps like a baby hippo and disappeared from view but started to bark, her high pitched baby voice bark down by the garden gate.
I wiped my hands and was just about to follow her up, when she thundered back into the kitchen, gave me a short hard stare then bounced into the garden again.
Bulldogs seldom hurry so I lumbered after her.
Beyond the garden gate in the rough grass behind the cottage I could hear Albert retching, and I could just see him heaving his head up and down.
Immediately I thought poison , so I galloped up and scooped him up, but it was in fact evident that he had something stuck in his throat.
I squeezed him very hard, so hard that his eyes popped and swung his head down and out flopped this!
She bounced up the garden steps like a baby hippo and disappeared from view but started to bark, her high pitched baby voice bark down by the garden gate.
I wiped my hands and was just about to follow her up, when she thundered back into the kitchen, gave me a short hard stare then bounced into the garden again.
Bulldogs seldom hurry so I lumbered after her.
Beyond the garden gate in the rough grass behind the cottage I could hear Albert retching, and I could just see him heaving his head up and down.
Immediately I thought poison , so I galloped up and scooped him up, but it was in fact evident that he had something stuck in his throat.
I squeezed him very hard, so hard that his eyes popped and swung his head down and out flopped this!
The friggin back end of a baby mouse
Fucking idiot
These animals will be the death of me
Raffle Tickets
For the last 43 years Auntie Gladys has proved herself to be a small Welsh white haired little dynamo when it came to selling The Flower Show raffle tickets. Single Handed, around the small circle of villages that surround Trelawnyd she would march around knocking on doors with her sing song " hello" and within a matter of days would be responsible for selling 500 books without batting an eye.
Nowadays , only a few years shy of her hundredth birthday she doesn't quite have the reserves that she used to, so the flower show committee had to take the drastic decision to limit the way "we "sell tickets and to reduce the number that we offer. that decision was governed by the fact that Gladys is now too frail to be marching house to house with a bin bag of tickets in hand.
Now, she's a wily old bird is our Gladys and only a couple of weeks ago , I caught her in Rhodfa Arthur shakily selling tickets for the forthcoming Male Voice Choir concert., so I have made the clear decision that we will only sell tickets on the day of the show.
No tickets are to be passed into Glady's eager hands!
Having said this , because it is such a thankless job, as I go around the village giving schedules away and touting for entries in the best garden competition, I have been taking the opportunity to sell extra tickets before we open the doors.
I don't know just how Gladys sold 500-600....I was out for an hour and a half yesterday and sold only 56!
Its all go in Trelawnyd
The International Entries for the Novelty Veg are still coming in.......but we need more...last year we had 68 entries...so far this year I have around 25...so please get your ideas down on film...... We need at least 60 to decorate the hall properly!
Beach Holidays
For the first time in a few years we have organised a beach holiday. Well to be perfectly precise we will be having TWO breaks by the sea!
Yes the two places look rather similar.....only the first is in Broadstairs in Kent ...and the second is in Manly in SYDNEY AUSTRALIA! How good is that!
The break will do us both good.
The Prof is working in Australia in August then will join his best friend and colleague for a weeks sailing ( I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than be seen dead on a small sailing yacht in the middle of the Pacific ( I've seen Dead Calm!) he will then fly to Sydney and meet me as I fly in from the UK
Now you know just why I am trying to shift all that ugly flab at fat club now!
I want to be able to sit on a beach without looking like Demis Roussos.
As usual, at holiday time it is the animals and more importantly their care which is the knotty problem.....but I think I have just about sorted it all out. The neighbours have promised to watch over Albert and will sort out the water requirements for the field animals . Village boffin Cameron will be
in charge of the birds and William is set for a stink in our local kennels.
Winnie is going to the home of one of my fellow Samaritans who is a bulldog fanatic and George will have a holiday break at my sister's house with her dogs.
Broadstairs and Sydney how fantastic is that!
The first break is a few days here
And the next is ten days here!
The break will do us both good.
The Prof is working in Australia in August then will join his best friend and colleague for a weeks sailing ( I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than be seen dead on a small sailing yacht in the middle of the Pacific ( I've seen Dead Calm!) he will then fly to Sydney and meet me as I fly in from the UK
Now you know just why I am trying to shift all that ugly flab at fat club now!
I want to be able to sit on a beach without looking like Demis Roussos.
As usual, at holiday time it is the animals and more importantly their care which is the knotty problem.....but I think I have just about sorted it all out. The neighbours have promised to watch over Albert and will sort out the water requirements for the field animals . Village boffin Cameron will be
in charge of the birds and William is set for a stink in our local kennels.
Winnie is going to the home of one of my fellow Samaritans who is a bulldog fanatic and George will have a holiday break at my sister's house with her dogs.
Broadstairs and Sydney how fantastic is that!
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