“Maoz Tzur” sung by cantors from across Canada.

I loved this

Tired

Off to bed

Mindful

I’m sat at the kitchen table.

It’s cold and I have my bobble hat on.

I’m singing gently to this song from the musical waitress which is on the radio

And I’m sewing by the lane window which has the best light

Sewing the rip in the arse of my work pants.

The rip that started a great deal of night shift hysteria last weekend.

I’m back on nights tonight and it took ages to find my sewing box.

The hardly used one with the chickens on the lid….

Filled with the flotsam of forty years…..

The dogs are watching me carefully.

Confused by the singing

“she is messy but she’s kind…….”

A Memory

“ John can you sort out the visitors for your patient ? we have more requesting to come in”

So asked one of the support workers on Intensive Care when I was at my busiest time.

My patient was dying and we as a team were withdrawing treatment from him which meant that extra ventilatory support and meds keeping his blood pressure elevated would be discontinued after a long discussion with family. 

The patient’s family was with him but as the patient was a popular man, extended family and friends kept turning up at the door. At these times the next of kin would organise which people would be able to visit and who wouldn’t and it was my job to sensitively put those wishes into practice.

I entered our small sitting area outside the ICU and fielded requests to come in.

I had almost finished when a man in his sixties approached and said he was an old friend of my patient.

He had been told earlier of the present dire situation the patient was in and was clutching a small sunflower in both hands. He had been crying.

I know visiting is only for family” he said quietly “ But could you give him this ?”  

He gave me the sunflower

I said I would even though it was against policy to accept flowers and as the man nodded a tearful thank you he almost stumbled through the automatic door back into the hospital corridor.

Something made me follow him and as he caught his breath. I asked him if he was alright 

He pointed back to intensive care

“ He was my sunshine” the visitor said crying and he reached out to hold my hand for a moment

“He was always my sunshine” 

His words and his grief has always stuck with me even until now, some fifteen years later

And I was glad to have been able to place the sunflower next to that patient 

As I had been requested to

Book Club

 

Our Book club is a new one, a spin off of an original 2005 club who has been going strong .

I was first into the meeting room, closely followed by a friendly forty something South African Asian chap called Faisal who I liked immediately because he shook my hand, had a big smile and the fact that his dog had ripped apart his book of the month. I showed him my phone case which Roger has chewed only five hours previously, and he nodded knowingly.

I think we are going to be firm friends 

The rest of the group by chance had all met in the foyer with Alison ,our bubbly facilitator and found their seats some ten minutes later.

The demographic was much younger and varied than I expected . Out of twenty of us , two thirds were in their twenties and half of those described themselves with the pronoun of “ they” . Apart from Alison there were just three older group members, including myself and so the energy in the room was different than I expected. 

One young person dominated the conversation, but I enjoyed listening to the discussions, having not fully read the book of choice. 

I’ll go again.

LGbTQ+ Dumplings

 

I’m going to an LGBTQ+ Bookclub later. I will blog about it when I get home.

The cockerel died this morning as I predicted. 

I’ve read my book and drank tea and made chicken dumplings steamed in miso

Ordinary is Good

 I had a simple and ordinary night tonight.

Supper with  Gorgeous Dave and his seven year old daughter 

Paella with long discussions of not hiding your prawns under the rice and no pudding until you finish

Some showing off in front of the guest 

I made some brownie points bringing a girl’s magazine 

Nothing too heavy 

I sort of played a benign uncle and sat there and listened

It was Lovely

Family

 

I’m sat in the living room alone.

The dogs ( well mainly Mary ) have been reprimanded severely after a surprise attack on the bantam cockerel who was trying to fill up on cat food and bread which I’d put out for him in the snow. 

Instinct took over and Mary was up the garden dragging the poor bird which was screaming at the top of its lungs, as the others piled in to help. Luckily I managed to separate bird from bitch amid a cloud of feathers, but the damage may have been done.

Chickens , especially lone ones often do badly after an attack. 

I left him the remains of the cat food and then made coffee silently in the kitchen. 

Dogs know when you are angry at them and hate being ignored. Non of them could look at me when I came into the living room 

Best to let them stew for a while. 

I’ve been studying the relationships between the Greek Royal family and the other European royals and have found it fascinating. The scenes where Crown Prince Pavlos and his mother Queen Anne-Marie of Greece thanked the crowds for their spontaneous cheers of support for the late King Constantine II were incredibly moving and I’ve enjoyed the subsequent who came from where? puzzle which has various country Royals related to another and all meeting up at what is essentially an extended family funeral.

I’m not doing much today . There is more snow forecasted , and so I will do some laundry, make a rich bolognese sauce and will start bringing together a new webpage for the Trelawnyd Community Association.

Ive just collected handfuls of chicken feathers from the back garden too 

A miserable looking bantam sheltering in the front garden 

Snow

 

I was snowed in again this morning

This happens because of the topography of the lane rather than the amount of snow falling. 

From my cottage the lane snakes upward into the village at quite an angle .

When snow falls and gets iced, the cars just cannot get past the church. 

My sister and brother in law dressed in matching emergency yellow and black ski tops came to the rescue with a food pack and Sailor John from next door dropped off some logs .

Mrs Trellis tied a plastic carrier bag on the gate with two Mars bars inside wrapped in Christmas napkins 

Ive been looked after.

Which is very nice.

Indeed

Tonight as usual I’m crammed on the trendy blue couch 

Roger is snoring gently on my shoulder,Mary & Dorothy and Albert scattered liked curled fur cushions crammed in the gaps .

Albert’s broken leg stuck up in the air 

I’ve been rather moved by coverage of the funeral of King Constantine of Greece 

And the fire is roaring 

I may be single , but I don’t feel alone tonight