MND


For those that don’t know , my brother died nine years ago of motor neurone disease 
It’s a cruel disease, possibly the cruelest and strange as it may seem North Wales has a cluster of people diagnosed with the condition 
The three hospices of North Wales often take these patients in for symptom relief, respite  and for end of life care and their care is usually challenging and intense .
Communication of needs is often the major difficult area to nurse and something like the “ simple” positioning of a limb can take an hour to achieve correctly 
Perhaps now you can understand why I had such a hard shift the other night.

Now I’m not being dramatic here. 
I am good at distancing myself from situations that can suddenly become personalised 
Most nurses of a certain age, have to be
But motor neurone patients have special needs and those are ones that we all take for granted 
They need to be understood and they need to feel empowered 
Looking after them can leave you worrying that you’ve failed them 
and I always thought I could have done more for my brother.
So caring for them, can be particularly challenging 

I admitted a patient with MND the other night 
The night I got home very late
A friend and colleague has just texted me to tell me that they had died peacefully..... 
Too sudden but fortunate with the hospice care

And I took the dogs out for a walk in the now cold night 
And in the darkness of the still village
I remembered a lot of stuff running around my head 
And had a brief cry

Tantrums

 
The vet’s bill hasn’t arrived as yet
Mary has has a special “ pellet “ of antifungal meds placed inside her ear canal and she is looking brighter for it even though her already selective hearing has become even more selective 
A new smiley and rather smarmy vet has started at the practice And he didn’t ingratiate himself with me especially after referring to Mary as looking a bit tatty
“ You don’t look all that spruce yourself “ I countered to little effect. 
Never insult the dog of an old queen 
We never forget 

I’m having a mooch day today which is involving sharing the new sofa with Dorothy ( an activity designed to reduce her anxiety and jealous feelings of the other dogs.


Dorothy was Sooooo pissed off

It’s not working as you can see.
As Mary has just joined us
Dorothy is now  in a foul mood 
Foul

I’ve made pesto and sour dough bread this morning and my friend Colin is coming for dinner later which will be nice ( before the trolls say anything he’s in my bubble) 

I’ve just listened to the Whitty and Valance Speech on COVID too
Things seem a little glum and I wonder what gems Boris will come out with tomorrow 
It feels how we just have to live with COVID now and for some the axe will fall



Still maintaining “Dorothy “ time 
I’ve paid bills online, watched the trailer of the Walking Dead finale which airs in two weeks and written some emails 
And after Mary went off to mooch elsewhere Dorothy has had me all to herself 
And her sulking and tantrums subsided to a peaceful hug and her face on my feet 


 I need to get up soon 
The grass needs mowing 

Friends


Me, Sara, Eleanor and Pask

Chic Eleanor picked me up around noon
No pashmina but she was sporting a very expensive Italian scarf which was looped informally around her neck
“ Darling John “ she purred behind her face mask as she stopped “ it’s been too long!”
We didn’t kiss as we usually do

We met friends Sara and Pask up the Conwy valley and was treated to a real Italian meal with four courses, antipasti ( and a special  scotch egg just for me), orecchiette pasta, locally caught muscles in garlic and white wine and meringue with raspberries 

It was lovely 
Quite lovely 
My scotch egg antipasti



 

Violas

 Violas are such cheerful and robust little fellows
Unlike the fat headed pansies that resemble them .. I detest those
I’ve planted them out in pots around cyclamen of varying shades of pink and red and have placed them on the kitchen wall with enough gaps in between so that the regular gifts of tomato’s and the like can be left with ease.

It’s been a nice day, most of which I’ve missed after an extra Night shift
Lunch out with friends and Chic Eleanor tomorrow
Tonight already I’m lighting the fire against the already crisp autumn evening as I watch the live action Beauty and the beast on tv

Tonight I’ve been watching Carrie Fisher give tribute speeches on YouTube 
What a wonderful orator she was
I became quite tearful at her power and intelligence 
Tearful because I’m tired 

After All Tomorrow is Another day

I’m working tonight to cover sickness but had a lovely afternoon catching up with two old friends Ruth and Dale.

After lunch in the garden we had a mooch around the village, seeing all the locals I’ve written about over the years. 

Nice day





Firefighting

 I’ve had one of those “ firefighting” shifts at work .
To be fair they don’t happen very often and so I’m not complaining , I’m merely telling you, but I’ve only just got home this evening and it’s 10pm .....15 and half hours after I left this morning.
I’ve done as much as I could for a complex patient, but it wasn’t quite good enough and I’m left feeling rather disappointed and very tired.
I’m 58 and I feel it today

I’m too old for this shit 
But at least Dorothy has licked my sore feet back into shape 
Hey ho 

5 of Us

Mary a beautiful study by boffin Cameron

When I finish a day shift it is now very dark when I get home.
It was today and will be tomorrow
Albert is always sat on the kitchen wall waiting for me rather impatiently and gets down after a face to face rub to follow me to Trendy Carol’s to Collect the girls.
He never walks through her gate, for he knows he would be attacked by Carol’s fox terrier if he ever did so, so he stands and waits for the reunion he so clearly loves and craves for with tail swishing and eyes glowing.
The bulldogs bounce out of the conservatory like baby hippos and we all have to wait with everyone tap dancing In excitement for Mary who is usually secreted away on Carol’s knee for her daily love in .
Then the five of us walk home, with Winnie in the lead and with Albert trying manfully to rub heads with each of the dogs that don’t quite understand the greeting.
All they want is dinner
All he wants is for his pals to be together.

Half an hour later all four are crammed onto my new sofa fast asleep

I’m looking into getting Mary covered by a Welsh Terrier stud
One set of puppies before she gets too old
If all goes to plan I will keep one male puppy ( who will be called Roger ) and will give Trendy Carol  a gift of a bitch to thank her for all of her kindnesses with the dogs since my divorce.
Without her, I could never have kept them with me, so it’s the least I and Mary can do

Another adventure in the making me thinks.

Hey ho


Roses Around The Door

Yesterday........
Was
Lunch with a friend who is having a bad time.
Mary’s vet visit and steroid treatment for her bad ear,
A troll who irritatedly took my time
A heavy heart at work tomorrow when I’m not quite ready for it
But at dusk
I stood in the garden and realised that the climbing rose around the door had bloomed again
And everything was well