Where The Mountains Sing Through The Screams Of Seagulls

I'm not a man who enjoys poetry
But at times, the beauty of a phrase whether spoken or written can grab me around the neck and almost throttle me with its beauty or power.

A verse in that fake Eurovision ballad Husavik - My home town captured my imagination just the other day

" Where the mountains sing through the screams of seagulls "

Isn't that a fantastic description of an Iceland we all have in our imaginations?

When I was a child I loved a tiny poem Little Fish by D H Lawrence for exactly the same

           " The tiny fish enjoy themselves
              In the sea
              Quick little splinters of life,
              their little lives are fun to them
              in the sea"

" Quick little Splinters of  life"
A beautiful description again, economical and bang on the money

I borrowed a book from the hospice last week and found myself reading it last night.
It was a collection of " Best Loved Poems" illustrated by Isabelle Brent
I was unexpectedly melancholic, a moment's revisiting of old wounds and the feelings around them, and the book provided me with the escape that I needed

This poem by Emily Dickinson lingers in the mind

      " A word is dead
                     When it is said,
              Some say.
         I say it just
         Begins to live
              That day"
              

Jealous Legs

Albert playing dead in the lane

There's always drama

" I love it when you hang your washing, the lane is always filled with the scent of washing powder"

Pippa from the Rectory called this over the sound of the music in my earphones as she passed Bluebell where I was cleaning bulldog snot from the steering wheel
I had hung a newly washed bedspread on the field gate half an hour earlier
The wind from the west fill fluttering laundry with the vague scent of greenery tinged with the sea

It's been an odd day.
I met a friend for breakfast ( great tasting Americanos and thick white toast !! Served at the seaside cafe on Colwyn Bay promenade.
He is just about to end a long term marriage and needed to verbalise what he felt.
It was easy for him to talk as I fed the girls crumbs and kept my gaze from his
" It's not the breaking up that she will ultimately remember but the kindness or not of how you do it"
This was my only advice
He needed to talk and hear his own words
I just needed to listen.

The meeting unsettled me a little not because of the subject matter but because of the jealously experienced by my friends' husband . He couldn't be told of our meeting
I've had this before from some of my straight female friends whose male partners find my presence difficult.
I don't get it...myself
dog jealousy  I get
Jealousy by straight men over a gay friend
Naaw

Oh and there's more sad news

The last lady of classic Hollywood died today

Olivia deHavilland 

I have a signed polorid snapshot somewhere

She sent it me in 1978 after I had seen her in Airport 77 and I wrote to her in Paris  

Mary and Albert

Waiting for me to come home
Look for the glowing eyes

Husavik

I love it when truth becomes stranger than fiction
The Netflix movie Eurovision Song Contest - The Story of Fire Saga seems to be a heavy handed comic farce centred around Iceland's bid to win the camp as Christmas competition
The final song Fire Saga ( the band) performs is a sacarrinesque ballad Husavik ( my home town ) 
And suddenly it's captured the public attention and has become a real hit !
Go figure

The Office

I'm working at the " hospice at home" initiative for one more week. The H@H nurses care and support patients who want to die at home

I'm waiting for calls to come in and have patient appointments later today.
The office is quiet save for the constant screaming of the herring gulls that populate this part of Llandudno beach

I am reminded of Broadstairs

The Ticking

My day off therapy has a a three or four hour cleaning element to it
I've filled glass jugs with garden buddleia and opened the windows wide so the butterflies can come and go like miniature angels.
I've even found the key to my grandfather clock, which after being silent so long is ticking away so loudly that Albert came downstairs all wide eyed to see what the commotion was all about.
There is something quite restful about the ticking of an old clock .

I've washed my uniforms and the cheerful blue of them provides a colourful backdrop to the garden as they dry in the sun, hung swinging from the beams above the patio.
As I worked I listened , with interest to the eloquent speech by Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as she replied to insults dished out by her fellow congressman Ted Yoho who referred to her as a " fucking Bitch" 
If you haven't heard it, try to , it's a wonderfully powerfull and important speech.

More therapy now

Making sour dough bread and soup , and will video call some friends later
Oh and there's a meeting of the Memorial Hall Commitee at 2pm
To look at fundraising !!!

The clock is still ticking, I started it just after nine

pizza Crusts

I bought a pizza on the way home from work tonight
The nights seem to be drawing in
I collected the dogs from Trendy Carol's 
And fed them and Albert before carefully removing the pizza crust with a knife after it had cooked
The dogs adore pizza crusts and sat shivering with excitement in a line for their treat turn

I'm tired 

Pride Again

This is a formal reply to those readers who don't get the Gay Pride moteif of yesterday's blog

I get what you say and why you say it..but your comments, to me were ill judged and rather offensive

I will endeavour to explain just why

The excesses of some gay flag wavers , to many seem irrelative. I know that

I am not particularly a fan of the sight of a sequinned budgie smuggler snake hipped twink flouncing atop a float myself but as a gay middle aged man whose sexuality is probably the least interesting thing about me, I will always fight for the right for that twink to wave his tush and raise his rainbow flag in anyone's face 

Straight people will never understand how it feels to be gay

Christ it was only 50 years or so ago since homosexuality was made legal for men over 21in this country . 

Legal !!!! 

Illegal meant  wrong, against the law, dirty, bad, terrible ............deviant ......

All the building bricks for negativity and prejudice and being hated

All the building bricks for guilt and shame and self loathing too

I grew up in the 1980s 

Gays were hated then. AIDS was a monster avenger 

And still over the 60s, 70s , and 80s men and women fought for equality and a chance to be viewed to be as normal as you straights 

They fought long and hard 

Straights , as I recall were never spat at in the street for holding the hand of a person they loved ( or even just liked) 

Straights could marry the person they loved

And as many did so, the World  and his wife would applaud 

You straights will never know the trauma of comming out

The constant fear of rejection a gay child experiences when he knows he is different

The low level abuse , snide comments , put downs and stupidity of people fearful of something so alien they have to attack it

You will never know, like I don't, the true struggles of those brave souls that fought the system only a generation ago now

Souls that helped to eventually turn the tide on bigotry and hatred even though it's never really been totally eradicated 

So dearhearts , please take it from me that it's fine for that sequinned arsed twink to have his excessive gay pride dances!!! 

And it's fine for me to wear my occasional gay pride t shirt and post a blog about feeling all gay 

I am proud to be gay , I'm proud to now have those rights straights have have enjoyed for ever !!!

I don't do it often 

Like I said , being gay is not one of my most interesting facets 

But when I do, it is the RIGHT thing for me as a gay man to do

Please instead of pouting with a narrow minded "We straights never hold straight pride tight arsed pout!" 

Just try seeing things from another's perspective  

If you can't , well then I would prefer that you didn't follow Going Gently

with its rainbow warts and all