Sunday, 26 July 2020

Jealous Legs

Albert playing dead in the lane
There's always drama

" I love it when you hang your washing, the lane is always filled with the scent of washing powder"

Pippa from the Rectory called this over the sound of the music in my earphones as she passed Bluebell where I was cleaning bulldog snot from the steering wheel
I had hung a newly washed bedspread on the field gate half an hour earlier
The wind from the west fill fluttering laundry with the vague scent of greenery tinged with the sea

It's been an odd day.
I met a friend for breakfast ( great tasting Americanos and thick white toast !! Served at the seaside cafe on Colwyn Bay promenade.
He is just about to end a long term marriage and needed to verbalise what he felt.
It was easy for him to talk as I fed the girls crumbs and kept my gaze from his
" It's not the breaking up that she will ultimately remember but the kindness or not of how you do it"
This was my only advice
He needed to talk and hear his own words
I just needed to listen.

The meeting unsettled me a little not because of the subject matter but because of the jealously experienced by my friends' husband . He couldn't be told of our meeting
I've had this before from some of my straight female friends whose male partners find my presence difficult.
I don't get it...myself
dog jealousy  I get
Jealousy by straight men over a gay friend
Naaw

Oh and there's more sad news


The last lady of classic Hollywood died today
Olivia deHavilland 
I have a signed polorid snapshot somewhere
She sent it me in 1978 after I had seen her in Airport 77 and I wrote to her in Paris  

70 comments:

  1. he's probably a narcissist and is jealous of the kind of attachment he can't have.

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    1. Deep state dems are planning a takeover of America to overthrow the government for a new world order
      Do this today ,.,.,.,,, ,Look at this video ASAP!!!

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  2. You have given me a lovely childhood memory John. My grandmother till the day she passed always, always, hung her sheets and clothing out to line dry. I can still smell the washing powder and the smell of fresh air on the dried items.

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    1. Memories of my grandmother too hanging out thesheets with pegs in her mouth

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    2. My grandmother had a fag hanging out of hers 🤣 XXXX

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    3. @Jacqueline BWahahahahahahahaha!!!! That is priceless!!!!!!!

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  3. I'm confused about you was jealous of whom.

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    1. Who was jealous of whom in this instance today is what I meant to say.

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    2. Straight men jealous of my friendship with their female partners

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    3. I thought you met a male today.

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    4. I have , it just reminded me of jealousy I've experienced mostly from straight partners

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    5. Oh I see. Yes, jealousy is a sign of weakness.

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    6. Actually I think a little bit of jealousy is probably quite healthy but a lot distinctly isn't.

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    7. I find it embarrassing

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    8. In the circumstances as you have found yourself, yes.

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    9. I once asked a female friend to the theatre and. Bought her a ticket and her husband turned up too

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  4. Yes the way you remember the "kindness or not of how you do it" That is the way I remember his cruelty to me.
    As for his friendship with you and other people it is about control.
    Your gud dugs have a wonderful life.
    parsnip

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  5. Yorkshire Liz7:48 pm

    It's not sexual jealousy, something far more important. Emotional and intellectual intimacy and trust. Can't fake it, can't make ig. It just is. Can't explain it either.

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    1. I think you are right Liz, complicated with testosterone from both men involved

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  6. Anonymous7:50 pm

    Jeolousy by a straight man over a gay friend of his wife or partner? yes yes yes!
    My husband hated my 'silly girl crushes' as he called it, over my gay guy friendships, the giggling, the gossip the bitchy (sometimes) banter and wit.
    Think he was glad when we moved 100's of miles away from the boys.
    He has even mentioned you! When l am looking/commenting on GG and we don't even know each other ha!
    Tess xx

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    1. It certainly seems to be a phenomenon x

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  7. You gave your friend very wise advice, hard won from experience.

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  8. Tis a rather dark day dear.

    I think the evening will call for a glass of champagne …the Dame de Havilland's favorite libation.

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    1. I will raise a small gin and tonic to the great lady very soon

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  9. Olivia de H. as irreplaceable as Albert will be when he's no longer 'playing' at...... But the world has moved on, and in too many worse ways as well as better.

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    1. He's often seen sunning himself in the road
      How he's not had another car accident bugger only knows

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  10. They're envious of your massive cock 😂

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    Replies
    1. Crude but true ........lol

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    2. By the way how is he John,I've not seen a photo for a while or any mention? x

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    3. The rooster is still mighty fine flis

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  11. I think jealously stems from someone not being happy within themselves and they are scared of not being on top x

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    1. Anonymous11:06 am

      flis - potty mouth.

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    2. Anon really!!!!!?????

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    3. Anunu-"On Top"is another way of describing bullies who feel the need to try to control others in a negative way sadly x

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    4. Anonymous4:26 pm

      Almost all your comments include crude innuendo.

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  12. My thinking is that traditional men are often unable to connect emotionally (for a variety of reasons, many having to do with upbringing), and their jealousy toward gay men who have that connection with their wives can be fierce. They know they don't have it, and they know their wives want it, but they can't grasp how to do it. It's not sexually based, it's emotionally based. Having said that, I believe it's in the interests of all concerned for a wife to at least try to teach her partner how to make those connections. Some men can learn, others can't. But it's easier for them to learn if they are given a chance, along with patient and loving help.

    You gave your friend good advice and a welcome listening ear. So many people want to just tell of their own experience, and will not listen.

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  13. Yeap, we ate the toast , I listened

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  14. I always find marriage break ups so sad John maybe because I have been lucky enough to have two such very happy marriages. As for the white toast - bliss.

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    1. With lots of butter and HONEMADE jam !!!

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  15. Barbara Anne10:07 pm

    What excellent advice you gave to your friend. I hope he takes it to heart.

    We've had lots of gay and lesbian friends over the years and in all cases, they are/were friends of both of us.

    Yum! Toast, butter, and homemade jam!

    Just two nights ago, DH and I were talking about Olivia deHavilland's amazing age.

    Hugs!

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  16. My mom believed in white sheets only (also her bras and underwear). She’d get up early in the morning and washed her white sheets in Tide but no bleach. She’d hang them on the line and when I walked outside the smell was heavenly. She had a bit of a meltdown once when the birds had a feast on mulberries and major dumps on her sheets. For a few minutes she had polka dot sheets.

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    1. And no underware could be seen hanging from the street

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    2. JacquieB9:30 am

      My neighbour (married,50ish) hangs her underwear on a special little line close to the house. All the other laundry blows merrily on the main line in the garden. Daft - they're not even interesting undies.
      I love washing blowing on the line. Like smoke rising from a chimney it means someone's home.
      Jealousy is very difficult to control.

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  17. People can't understand friendships that are not based on sex. It is so sad.

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  18. lucky for me my spouse is not jealous of my gay male friends...they are HIS friends too.

    albert, get out of the street before someone hurts you, silly kitty! you have a safe wonderful garden in which to sun yourself.

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    1. I love this ..you picked a good in AM

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  19. Sometimes a good listener is worth their weight in gold.

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    1. I have to work hard at it David, like most men, I often want to problem solve the issue for everyone

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  20. Perhaps the left out spouse is jealous of time and attention aimed elsewhere and not at himself? My ex disapproved of my friendships, male or female, and was even rather jealous of attention given to the children instead of to him. Your quote is confusing, "SHE will remember, etc, .." yet you are telling us about a gay male couple breaking up. [Or is that I quote I should recognize and do not?]


    Coffee and toast sounds a bit of a stingy and meagre brunch out?

    lizzy

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    1. I wanted more but I'm on a diet x

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    2. Couple of poached eggs? But you *are* looking good [in your rainbow shirt], so you know best.

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  21. It will be worth something on ebay !!

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  22. Interesting and your advice was sound. The signed photograph is a treasure.

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  23. I sent Olivia a birthday card two years ago on her 102nd birthday. Bob had found her Paris address and said it would be a nice thing to do. I never heard from her but hoped she received it. She certainly was a beautiful actress of the old school, and lived a long full life.

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  24. I have a friend who drapes his washed sheets etc over patches of brambles at night. He claims that moonlight makes them whiter. I have suggested he consult a witch doctor.

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  25. Spring is slightly in the air here, with warm sunny afternoons and after drying clothes inside for 3 months they finally can return to drying outside.

    Some men are just jealous and possessive of any friends and especially suspicious of males - gay or straight.

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  26. A close friend's husband treated her terribly unkindly during their separation and divorce preceedings. The couples grown up children and close friends now despise him. It wasn't the fact that he believed that the marriage was over and wanted out but was his behaviour towards his wife we all hated and still do.

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  27. PS washing blowing on the line is simply marvelous !

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  28. If only ballet dancers were as lithe and flexible as cats - then I might even go to see a ballet - assuming that ballets are ever performed for the public again.

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  29. You wouldn't be hanging freshly laundered white sheets on our farm gates, the sheep would end up wearing them or they'd be filthy within minutes, the girls love a good scratch on the gates.

    I'll stick with the washing line, but not today it's bucketing it down :-(

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  30. We've had friends here, a straight couple, we thought were becoming especially close friends. Enlightened, kind, fun. However, as time passed, we noticed the wife displaying jealousy of our closeness with her husband. First we thought we were imagining it, but then it became much more obvious. She clearly displayed a fondness for us but became very controlling of him. We don't know if he's told her something about himself (that we're not aware of) or what. But, I don't think the friendship will survive the pandemic. We seem to have less and less contact and almost exclusively through her. Strange... and sad.

    By the way, do you clean that farm gate before you dream the clean linens over it?

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  31. Yes, happy cat. The sun and breezes will make that bedspread smell wonderful. So sorry about your friend.

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