Ohhh Errrrr

" oh I do look rather surprised don't I ?" said the woman with the clipboard pointing at her identify badly photo " I was in the photo booth having it taken and someone poked a chocolate eclair through the curtains" 

So shared Victoria Wood in one of her most funny human moment routines.
I was reminded of this comic aside after I had presented the kitchen fitters with a large box of eclairs yesterday. After I had handed them over to effusive thanks and only after the apprentice thought I was out of earshot, there was much ribald laughter from the fitters as they shared a dirty joke which probably featured penis length!

It's In!

You can't get the full effect , but picture duck green tiles as the splash back with white grout.
Wood effect vinyl ( so no slips by fat bulldogs) and cream walls
I've filled every soddin cupboard!

Knobs

Apart from the tiling and the laying of the new floor, both getting sorted next week, the kitchen should be finished this afternoon!
I shall post  nauseating smug photos of everything later today so be prepared for a showing off fest !
The fitters presented me with this yesterday
It's some sort of handset for automatically turning on the lights under the countertops!
I got all excited about it and giggled like a schoolgirl
I'm easily pleased.
All the Prof said about everything was  a " It's big!" comment whilst raising one Roger Moore eyebrow

Cute as a button

....and I'm not talking about the baby dinosaur
I'l leave you with my guilty crush Greg Davies
V v funny

Taking Shape

I was on a bit of a learning curve yesterday. Thanks to all of your Thanksgiving comments....apparently Thanksgiving dinner in the US is more of an event than Christmas dinner ! Who knew! Hey ho!
Anyhow...
I'm beginning to feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Yesterday three fitters squeezed into the cottage as the dogs and I squeezed out. I bought them all takeaway coffees and cakes and went out for the day.
When I got home in the afternoon, things had moved forward rather nicely.

Today I am going to drink coffee in Marks and Spencer's cafe. They have wifi and I can complete lots of web " paperwork" out of the way of the mess, banging and stress of hearing hairy arsed strangers sitting in the loo whistling.

Calling All Americans

Now my last post raised an interesting question ( well for me it did) do American's prefer Thanksgiving dinner more than Christmas Dinner?
To the Brits here, a turkey dinner is a Christmas only thing....
I like the thought of Thanksgiving ... but I'd have it in June.

( the painting is a Norman Rockwell ...one of my favourite artists from the US ...my only complaint is that the turkey doesn't appear to be very heavy ( and if you've read my previous post you would understand that I know how much a turkey weighs)

Anyhow! American readers what do you prefer?

thanksgiving

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I thought I'd pay tribute to an old friend long since gone now.

Boris was a pure delight.

A Norfolk Bronze turkey stag of some age and standing Boris was the king of the Ukrainian Village . He and his sister Grace were gifts from a grateful patient of mine and were hand delivered to the cottage as babies by the patient's daughter.

I knew nothing about turkeys then and I had to learn quicksticks as turkey poults are notoriously delicate creatures who can die easily of disease and the cold.

As Boris grew, he became as tame as a canary and would follow me around in his usual slow shuffle amble. He would spend long periods of time standing by the gate watching cars and people going by and would gobble merrily at anyone who took his fancy. 

Strangely the only person who didn't take his fancy was The Prof and the two shared a rather sharp hate/hate relationship where Prof and Turkey would take potshots at each other when backs were turned.

In the new year I may think of getting another turkey stag. 

They make clean, loyal and rather delightful pets.

And rather good dinners too

( I didn't eat him)

Mr Gay

I've had to chase up quite a few things with the kitchen fitters today ( apologies for the yawn)
One email from a manager called Gail, amused me amid the phonecalls, internet exchanges, complaints and answerphone messages

"Good Morning Mr Gay.
Hope you are well. I have tried to call this morning as it has been passed across that you have tried to contact us. I have left a voicemail asking if you could call back, in the voicemail I have mentioned that the installations team haven't been able to answer due to a meeting, apologies this is not correct......"

I answered

" Dear Gail,

 My name is GRAY and not GAY
But strange as it maybe I am actually gay so no harm done.
I will contact you after discussion with the new fitter regarding the cost of his works....."